003.

The sunlight poured through my open curtains and I turned over to hide under my pillow. I hadn't slept very well last night after my dream. I kept waking up in a sweat only to fall asleep and have it happen all over again. In total, I had slept about 2 hours. The breeze from the window played with my hair and tossed my curls in different directions. The breeze. I shot up to see that my conjecture was correct. My window was open again. I threw the covers off of me and went outside.

"Mom!" I screamed.

She came out of her bedroom with the phone pressed to her ear.

"Yeah honey?"

"Have you been in my room since last night?"

She gave me a puzzled look but shook her head.

I ran back into my bedroom and didn't hear her advancing footsteps. I figured she thought I was in a morning craze, but I wasn't. I hadn't opened my window last night, and I know I didn't sleep walk. I looked at my room. Everything seemed the exact way I had left it. My towel was even in the exact same stance as when I had thrown it over my computer chair. I tried to reason—more like lie—with myself. Maybe I had opened it in the middle of the night but I was too tired to even notice. That made sense. It had happened plenty of times. It was probably a reaction to my dream.

I tried to push the terrifying possibilities to the back of my mind as I went back to my bathroom. I was sure I had locked the window last night. I shook my head as though the thoughts would fall out of my ears. I looked at myself in the mirror and slightly shivered. My usually chocolate brown toned skin had completely lost its color. I needed to relax. Just relax. I looked at my tub and thought of giving it another try. It was bright daylight, if someone was stupid enough to come in my room this time of day I would see them. Still a bit unsettled, I grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer and put it on the bathroom counter. Just in case, I told myself. I walked out my bathroom and looked through my still open window at the street below. People were walking around, talking amongst themselves as if everything was fine. In their world it was, but I was just a little off and paranoid at the moment. I had to get out of the house.

I decided on exploring the town after a few moments of just zoning out. If I was going to be stuck here I might as well see what this town was made of. I picked out a pair of blue jeans and an old shirt of mine. I wasn't trying to impress anybody here. I prepared my bath water and turned the radio station on. I barely listened as I stripped down and put my clean pajamas on my bed and the rest in the dirty clothes hamper. I poured the baby oil in as the water was about done and put my hair up in a bun seeing as it had fallen out of last night's ponytail.

I slipped into the tub and closed my eyes before my bum had hit the bottom of the tub. My tense muscled loosened, but not too much. If it came down to it, I could be ready to defend myself in a matter of seconds. Considering that I don't fall down in the tub, of course. The music softened as I started to fall asleep. It was like my lullaby, rocking me slowly and pulling me deeper until I was completely gone.

I groaned and opened my eyes sleepily. I picked up my phone that lay not too far from the tub and looked at the time. 1:30p.m. I had been sleeping for two hours. I looked at my wrinkled fingers and made what would have been a sour face. Quickly, I washed up and tried to get out as quickly as I could.

Before I left, I checked my e-mail. To my disappointment none of my friends had tried to contact me and see how I was. I shrugged. Maybe they were busy doing something else. I hadn't even been gone that long. I would give them more time. My mom was excited to see me get out. I guess she thought I was coming to like it here. I wouldn't have gone that far, but I said I was going to have an open mind, and I wasn't going to go back on my word. Besides, if things took the wrong turn than I would only have till I graduate, and then I could get away and go off to college. It was the perfect alibi.

I grabbed the car keys and yelled goodbye before I jogged down the stairs. My phone fit snuggly in my back pocket, the ringer set to silence. I went out the front door and down the side of the building. There, sitting very patiently for me was my black 2008 Altima. It wasn't the priciest car, but it was my baby, and it got me from point A to point B in enough time. I unlocked the car and then put the keys in my pocket. As I got inside, I ran my hands along the leather. It felt like it had been years instead of a few days since I'd been in my car. I pushed the start button and listened as she roared to life.

"Yeah baby!" I screamed and looked through a compartment for my MP3.

I plugged it into the car and immediately went to my favorite music play list. The first song was 'Yellow' by Coldplay. With that, I pulled out of the alley-like parking place and drove slowly down the street. I wasn't in a rush to be anywhere. I didn't even know where I was going to go. My phone vibrated. Guess I hadn't put it on silence like I thought I had. I pulled it from my back pocket when I stopped at the red light and read the text.

Can you get some groceries? :)- Mom.

I shrugged and put my phone in the cup holder. I guess I knew what I would be looking for now. I looked at the sides of the road for what should be a supermarket of some sort. It wasn't too bright outside, sort of gloomy like when we had first come here. I wondered if the weather would always be like this. Always so depressing. To my right I saw a small place that had a little sign in front saying Food Market. My eyes squinted as I tried to make out some of the words. How did these people expect to have good business if no one knew where they were? As I pulled in I was slightly surprised. The place was half full, much more than I would have expected.

I pulled into the space closest to the store. I didn't feel like walking a long way with everything that I would have to bring with me. It seemed like a nice place. Not run down, very tidy. There wasn't a piece of litter on the floor. And I wasn't even in the store yet. These people must be neat Nazi's, I said to myself. I pulled my MP3 and earphones from my back pocket and turned my music on, putting my earphones in and getting ready to zone out. I was in another world with music. It was a world of my own, one that I loved. With the Shin's Sleeping Lessons humming in my ear, I walked into the store and grabbed a cart.

A young couple looked at me, perplexed. They hadn't seen me before and obviously wondered whom I was, where I came from. So typical of a small town, I thought bitterly. Nonetheless, I put a smile on and pushed the cart to the closest aisle. Bread. I wanted to get white bread, but knowing my mother and her health freak ways she would want the wheat bread. I grabbed about three loaves—we ate bread like it was going out of style—and mouthed the words to the song. An old woman peeked her head around the corner and, seeing that I was also watching her, immediately pulled it back. Was I some type of freak show? I gritted my teeth together and went about my business. They were probably just curious I assured myself.

All through the time, person after person came to look at me. I tried my best to ignore them, but by the time I was up at the counter, I was fed up. I bit my tongue and tasted the blood as the cashier kept stealing glances at me. I felt like an unknown species. The only thing that soothed me was the sound of Lupe Fiasco singing Paris, Tokyo. I carted my goods out of the store and didn't look back though I could feel the multiple pairs of eyes on my back.

"They're just curious city folk," I sweet, deep voice said teasingly from behind me.

I jumped and looked back at a tall, built boy standing against the front of the store by the door. He had a NY cap on with a black hoodie over it. He looked up at me and winked. His eyes flashed red and then went back to a dark color that I could not decipher from the shadow his cap made over his eyes. In the second it took me to blink, he was gone.

"What," I said to the spot where he had just stood.

I was still dazed as I put the groceries into the trunk of my car and got back in. I hadn't even noticed the changing of songs as I drove back home. It was hard to think I was dreaming. The feel of my car soaring over the road was hard to imagine, but that's all I could come up with. I didn't know how to explain it. I didn't even know what I was trying to explain. It just seemed so odd to me. One minute he was there, and the next he was gone. I didn't want to think about it; I was determined not to. When I pulled back into my parking spot by the apartment building, I saw my mother's friend sitting on the front step. When my car pulled in, she smiled at me and waved. I waved back even though I was sure she didn't see me. I had my windows illegally tinted for my liking. The privacy gave me a weird sense of power.

I stepped out and popped the trunk open. In a matter of seconds, she was by my side, grabbing a few bags in her hand.

"Your Kate's daughter, right?" she asked me.

I nodded.

"Well hello, my name is Jasmin. I'm your mother's friend. I live on the second floor." She held out her hand with the nicest smile on her face.

"Hi, I'm Natasha." I couldn't help but smile back as I shook the hand that she had extended towards me.

"Your mother's told me so much about you. You wouldn't believe what it takes to shut her up when it comes to her precious Natasha." Her laugh sounded like the sweetest song my ears had heard.

"Oh, yeah… that's my mom." I cringed inwardly as I spoke the words.

Something about my mother talking so proudly of me made me feel like regurgitating everything I'd eaten. I hadn't been the best daughter in all of my years. I vaguely recalled the times that I tried to forget. When I told her that it was her fault that my father had left. The words I had said to her… I felt like the lowest form of flab this universe had ever known. I frowned and grabbed more bags, walking up the stairs. Jasmin followed, keeping pace with me even though she held more bags than I had bothered to grab. I unlocked the door and immediately set my bags on the counter. My arms were stinging softly. With such unimaginable grace, she set the bags down lightly, not even making a sound. My mom came out of her room and looked at the groceries.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were here?" she asked as she opened each bag and started to put everything away.

"It's okay. Miss Jasmin helped me." I looked back at her and smiled kindly.

She returned the smile and then looked at my mother.

"I just thought I would help since I was already outside. I had meant to check up on you later today anyways."

I walked back down the stairs to grab the remainder of the bags and lock up my car. By the time I came back upstairs, the two women were sitting around talking. The counters were clear. I set my bags down and half listened to the conversation.

"…We just had a little trouble last night. Someone came in through Natasha's window."

I looked back to see the worried, angry expression on Jasmin's face.

"Did they hurt her?" she asked my mother who shook her head.

"No, she said they just left. Odd…"

Jasmin's face became angrier. When she saw that I was looking she calmed her expression. I got the strangest feeling that she knew what was going on. I had to be being paranoid. This whole thing made me paranoid. But the thought of someone so easily coming and going from my room was slightly disturbing. I hadn't even told my mother about this morning.

"Well, just keep your window locked for awhile," Jasmin suggested.

I scoffed. "Like that's going to help," I thought.

"She will." My mom smiled warmly at me and then returned to their conversation. I assumed they had changed the topic from the laughter that rang through our loft.

When I had finished putting the rest of the things away, I went in my bedroom and closed the door. I set my things on the computer desk and swirled the mouse to wake it up. I clicked on my e-mail and also opened up the Internet. I had two new e-mails, both of which were irrelevant and I erased. My last hope was my Myspace. I know, it was sort of silly for me to put my hopes into a simple website, but it was the last thing I could depend on to keep me in touch with my friends, to make me believe that nothing had so abruptly changed due to my absence. I signed in and crossed my fingers that I would have something. I smiled; full house.