Chris looked down at his desk and grimaced. He really didn't wanna follow though with this, but damn he was hungry. He sighed, poking at the slab of beef with his fork. Actually he wasn't even sure it was beef, more of a meat-like substance.

"Yuck…damn cafeteria food."

"You only have yourself to blame." Jill chided, straightening up her desk. "It was your own fault for getting banned from Burger Bong."

"Don't remind me."

Chris was still poking at his mystery meat, trying to work up enough nerve to actually take a bite, when Richard and Rebecca moseyed in.

"What in the hell do you call that?" Richard leaned over Chris' desk, looking at the tray.

"I think the menu said it was Salisbury Steak."

"Looks more like road kill to me."

"Is that supposed to be a carrot?" Rebecca pointed to a small shriveled vegetable laying near the meat patty.

"I'm not exactly sure." Chris turned the plate slightly to get a better look at the so called carrot.

"You're not actually going to eat that are you?" Richard asked, shuddering.

"Not like I have a choice, I'm starving."

"I have never been that hungry…ever."

"Maybe you should like test it on something." Rebecca said thoughtfully.

"Yea, or someone you don't like." Jill muttered, filing several papers.

10 minutes later…

Chris peeked around the corner. Everything was ready, all thy were waiting on was the test subject.

"Oww! Richard you're on my foot!"

"Sorry Jill."

"Will you two hush up, here he comes!"

Chris quickly pulled his head back around the corner, as Captain Wesker entered the hallway. His footsteps were heavy and even as he approached the S.T.A.R.S. office. Chris' heart actually skipped a beat, for a moment it sounded like the captain was going to bypass the office and walk right into them. Chris risked a glance, and breathed a sigh of relief as the Captain disappeared into the office.

"Alright, let's go." Chris lead the way followed by Rebecca, Jill, and Richard.

Imagine if you will, for a minute, a Warner Bros. Cartoon. Picture in your head four little cartoon mice tiptoeing their way into a kitchen. Now substitute the mice for our four S.T.A.R.S. members, and you'll have a pretty good idea what the scan looks like.

Chris leaned carefully around the corner, and scanned the office.

"He's at his desk right now."

"What the hell is this?"

Our poor unfortunate victim had finally spotted the lunch, which just happened to have a small note attached.

[We heard about the Burger Bong incident. Enjoy!!]

Now Captain Wesker, as you may already know, is not a stupid person. Nor is he very gullible. I mean just look at his background: scientist, S.TA.R.S. captain, Umbrella employee, not to mention soon to be HCF employee. However, despite all that intelligence, he was still stupid enough to take a bite of the suspicious lunch.

"He's actually…uh…oh…"

"What does uh oh mean?"

If Jill would have been able to see around Chris' head, she'd have known exactly what uh oh meant. Our esteemed Captain, and resident treacherous bastard, was having an issue or two with his lunch. Ok, perhaps issue isn't a strong enough term…crisis in the making would probably better describe the situation. After somehow getting down the first bite, Wesker had in fact cut a second piece of the so called Salisbury Steak. Maybe he's a sadist, who knows? But before he could even piece off the plate, the first piece hit bottom like a lead sinker.

"Ohh…." Wesker clutched his stomach, looking ill.

"Uh…Rebecca he's turning green."

Chris was not exaggerating, Wesker was turning a sickly shade of green. Mustering up a bit of courage Chris stepped around the corner.

"Sir, are you…"

Wesker bolted out of the chair like someone had lit his ass on fire. He rushed past Chris, knocking him down, one hand over his mouth.

"I hope he makes it to the bathroom." Rebecca looked a bit worried.

"So do I." Richard said, pulling Chris to his feet.

"Hi Captain…oh man you don'…AHHHH!!"

The four conspirators looked at each other, then slowly opened the door to the hallway. The site that greeted them…well, it wasn't pretty. Wesker was leaning against the wall hand still over his mouth looking ill, and poor Forest was wearing what appeared to be Wesker's breakfast. Chris was the first one to speak.

"Ok in retrospect…this plan was a bad idea."

Poor Captain Wesker would spend three days out sick due to food poisoning. It was later discovered that the Salisbury steak was actually two year old hoarse meat, bought when the R.P.D. had been having a budget crisis. I should be noted that Chris started carrying his lunch to work after this incident…