It's different in Stamford. Even more than he thought it would be.
For one thing, there aren't cameras following him around anymore. He'd never thought about that, they'd become such an ingrained part of his daily life. He finds that after a week he stops looking for them whenever anything remotely odd happens. After a week he feels like the stress has drained from his entire body and he can relax for the first time in a year. Which is strange, because a new job should stress me out, shouldn't it?
He's actually got his own office, with a door and a window, and a picture of him and Pam that Michael took at the Christmas party in a frame in his top drawer. He's not ready to take that out and put it where he can see it every day, but he's not willing to throw it away yet either. He sneaks a look at it every morning when he comes in, and every morning he tells himself he won't look at it again. But he doesn't move it, and he doesn't throw it away.
He thinks back to his first day in Stamford, when Jan came in and introduced him to the staff, and held a meeting to explain how things were going to work with Jim in charge of the sales team. The staff looked so bored with the entire thing that Jim thought for a moment he was back in Scranton.
He quickly realizes that he's the object of a lot of resentment because of the documentary in Scranton. Although it hasn't aired yet, it's well known in the company that the Scranton employees are soon to be reality television personalities.
He's in charge of three sales reps at the Stamford office. One of them is a man about his age who openly resents Jim because he wants the job that Jim got. That rep, Steve, spends the first half of the week making sure that Jim knows that he knows the only reason Jim got the job is because of the documentary. He's taken to calling Jim a famewhore and pretending to grovel when Jim comes out of his office. But by the end of the week, Jim wins Steve over, and things start looking up. The other two are younger women with outstanding sales numbers and decent attitudes. He's heading up a fantastic team, and he can't believe this was just handed to him.
"You deserve it, Jim. You really were the best salesperson, and you're a natural leader," Jan says. "You're going to do great things in Stamford."
"Dwight was the top salesperson," Jim says, thinking of how Dwight stole his biggest client. He remembers the champagne in his drawer and how he left it on Dwight's desk that day.
Jan rolls her eyes at him. "Dwight may have been the top salesman in numbers, but he is not the best salesman. And, he is not management material, Jim."
She goes on to explain his upcoming schedule, which includes two weeks of management training in the NY offices. After that he'll take his vacation and spend ten days in Australia, trying not to think about Pam.
Pam. He hasn't spoken to her since his last day in Scranton. When he shuts his office door and sits in the incredibly comfy plush leather chair left behind by his predecessor, he touches his fingertips to his lips and remembers how it felt when Pam threw herself on him in the breakroom. He remembers the smell and the curl of her hair, and the way she kept her eyes open when she kissed him, like she was afraid if she closed them he'd disappear. He remembers how it took every bit of strength in him to push her back and tell her no, but he knows he had no choice. I had to save myself. Nobody else was going to do it for me.
Michael calls him at the end of his first week. Jim's actually happy to hear from him, which surprises him. But Michael's always been easier to handle in small doses, and any familiar voice is welcome.
"So, hey, Jimbo! I guess we'll be seeing more of you down here in Scranton again!" Michael gushes. Jim swears he can hear the shit-eating grin on Michael's face, and is confused.
"Why would I be coming to Scranton, Michael?" He asks cautiously.
"You know, the P-A-M thing? The big secret? It's not a secret anymore and I thought with her calling off the wedding and everything…."
"Wait, what?" Jim says. What do you mean it's not a secret? She called off the wedding? She didn't call me?
"You…didn't know?" Michael asks, and damn it, Jim can hear the smirk in his voice. "You didn't know!"
His heart starts to pound and he feels the phone receiver slipping in his sweating palm. Suddenly it feels like a sauna in his office and he's breathing like he just ran up a flight of stairs.
"Michael, am I on speakerphone?" Jim demands. Michael stutters and stalls. "Michael. Am. I. On. Speakerphone?"
"Yeeeessss, " The word is drawn out the way it is when Michael's trying to think of something, anything to say that would keep him from getting into trouble.
"Are the cameras in there with you?" Jim yells.
"Hey, you're starting to sound like Jan! Come on, you signed a release like the rest of us."
"Take me off speaker. Now." Jim refuses to say another word until he hears the speakerphone static disappear. When it does Michael, in a rare fit of thoughtfulness, reminds Jim that the phones are tapped. When Jim finally agrees to talk anyway, Michael happily fills him in that Pam called off the wedding and moved out of the apartment she shared with Roy.
"I think she's still seeing him, though. She didn't call you?" Michael asks.
"No. She didn't." Jim bites his upper lip. Tears well up against the pain, but he bites harder. "Listen, Michael. I've got to get going. It was great to hear from you, though. Really. I'll see you soon."
She can't still be seeing him. Not if she stopped the wedding. Can she?
"But what about the…you know?"
Tell her I still love her. Tell her to call me. Tell her I miss her. Tell her I forgive her for not being certain.
"Tell her I'm happy and I'm doing fine. And that I said hi." He hangs up and puts his elbows on his desk, leaning his face into his hands until his closed eyes are pressing against his clenched knuckles so hard it gives him a headache. Pam. Not getting married. Why didn't she tell me?
He thinks maybe he should call her, but then he thinks he might just be the dumbest guy in the world. It's her turn. If she wanted me, she'd call. Even without Roy, she doesn't want me.
He opens his top drawer and tosses the Christmas party photo into his trash bin.
Pain rolls from his stomach to his throat, and he grabs his leather case (his man purse, Pam liked to call it, because Katy gave it to him) and lets the receptionist know that he's leaving for the day and won't be back for two weeks. He's barely able to hold it together long enough to drop his itinerary and contact information on her desk and wish her a good weekend. When he gets to the elevator, he's relieved to find it completely empty. As the elevator doors slide shut, he breaks into a cold sweat.
Two weeks later, he spends his last day of management training in NY. The corporate condo he uses is two floors up from the one Pam stays in when she's in the city for classes.
Although they come close, they never cross paths.
On Saturday night, long after Jim's passed out asleep and recovering from his trip, his cell phone vibrates and skitters across the top of his kitchen table.