As i laid next to Nick, sharing the hotel bed, i tired to find the right words, but just couldn't seem to.
"Listen, Nick. I'm not saying you shouldn't hang around Zac or anything, i mean he's just...different. What i mean to say is, I'm trying to look out for you, because your my brother...and i...i love you. I mean, i love you the way one brother loves another brother...sort of...well, I'm not sure. I'm still sorting out all the junk in my mind, i can't think straight, I haven't been able to put my finger on it exactly, but i feel like there's something off. I feel like I'm not being true to myself, like there's something inside of me, a place so dark that not even i want to admit to myself. It's dark to the outside looking in, but to me i want to be there, i...need to be there...i think this place...well, i think it has something to do...with you..." Said Joe as he stared off onto the ceiling.
Joe rolled over and tried to look at Nick fearing he hadn't even been awake to here any of it, but relieved at the same time because he wasn't quite sure how to approach his own frustration and confusion. When he caught a hold of Nicks eyes it was just that, he had been fast asleep. So as Joe laid awake on his back for another hour he found himself slowly reaching over to spoon his brother, something he hadn't done this since they were both young. Of course wrapping his muscular toned arm around his brother rather than the scrawny arm he once had around his younger brother is a lot more questionable, he did it anyways. That night Joe slept at ease and wasn't the first to wake up the next morning in fact.
Nick woke up the next morning to find his brother laying next to him, Joe's head laying on top of his right shoulder and curled up next to him as Nick had woken up laying on his back.
"pssss...psss...Joe." Nick tried to slowly nudge his elbow up to wake up his brother.
"...wha...what?" Joe replied still half asleep.
"So, much for having a large bed with just enough room so you wouldn't have to wake up right next to me, huh?" Said Nick half joking and half nervous to have his brother laying so close to him.
" Oh, get over it, don't be so fragile about it!" Joe snapped back at Nick as he graved a pillow and tossed it at Nick's face and then rolling around to face the other side of the bed.
"Hey, Joe come on, I didn't mean it like that." Nick told Joe.
While silence filled the room Nick thought of a way to apologize to Joe.
"hmm...What if I make you some pancakes? Would you stop being so crabby then?" Nick suggested.
Joe did a low growl not wanting to wake up. "Make it blueberry...and...just call me when there done, please."Joe replied talking into the pillow while hugging it.
"Alright then" Nick told Joe as he walked out of the room and headed toward the kitchen. While he began to get the stuff out of the fridge and look for a pan he heard Kevin come in though the door taking a seat in the table all while on his phone probably playing some applications. Nick turned around and said " Hey, what are you doing here, aren't you suppose to be off with Danielle?"
"Yeah, umm, She said she was going to be busy planning out something. So, she told me just to come back here and then I'm going to be gone all day again with her again today. Just the two of us, you know, before we get back on the road. So, i just thought i would pass by and i see i caught you just in time making food...i hope there's room on that menu for extra food for me because i am starving!" Kevin asked Nick flashing him his best smile.
"haha, yeah no problem. Oh, and just make sure you don't stay up too late remember to be back by noon so we can start heading out to the next stop on the tour alright."Said Nick.
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry, it's only like a 2 hour drive away, we'll be FINE!"said Kevin confidently.
"Try telling that to the stage crew and 4 hours of rehearsal and choreography" responded Nick cleverly.
"I suppose... So, where's Joe?" asked Kevin.
"Still sleeping, I'm waking him up as soon as breakfast is served" replied Nick as he finished mixing the batter in a bowl and began to drip the mixture into the pan marking the first pancake.
"That's odd... he doesn't normally sleep in past us. You think somethings up?"Asked Kevin considered
"I don't think so.. I think he might have gotten a little mad last night though." Said Nick.
"How so?" asked Kevin.
"Well, we ran into Zac at the pool yesterday morning and you know how were bros and stuff. I sorta messed up and lost track of time, ditching him here while i hung out with Zac for awhile back at his room. We were just horse playing, but i guess Joe must not haven taken it well and thought i had been ignoring him on purpose all day."admitted Nick.
"Aw, come on Nick, you know better than to do that sort of thing! We're brothers, I know you and Zac are tight but imagine how you would feel if you and Joe ran into Bieber and Joe bailed on you to hangout with him all day?" Kevin told Nick trying to make him understand.
"Yeah, I guess your right Kevin, that was pretty bogus having done that." Nick told Kevin and he began to place plates on the table and stacking up each with three fluffy pancakes topped with blueberries. Nicks cooking skills really were a cite to see, you could take a picture of his cooking and swear it had came right out of the food network.
"I'm going to go get Joe, you can go ahead and start eating" said Nick as started heading towards the bedroom.
...
Joe laid in bed eyes closed waiting to be called to go eat breakfast, mouth watering from the smell of Nicks awesome cooking. As Joe laid he thought about last night. How could he go from feeling so strongly one day to feeling more confused the next? How could he allow himself to even have such thoughts, he was sick, it was sick, maybe weird thoughts were just part of going though phases that will soon pass. The mere idea, Nick...and him...he couldn't even bare to say it in his head much less out loud. As his brain turned to mush he heard foot steps coming into the bedroom.
"Hey, Joe, foods ready... by the way, are you feeling alright?" asked Nick as he sat on the edge of the bed next to Joe as he laid in bed.
"Yeah... I'm alright." Joe responded as he slowly started to get out of bed and slip on a pair of dark blue jeans laying on the floor, heading towards the kitchen while Nick followed close behind left puzzled as to what Joe was thinking and truly feeling inside .