DISCLAIMER: Justice League Unlimited and all related characters are the property of Time Warner, Inc. and DC Entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. This work of fiction is for entertainment purposes only and no money has changed hands. The original characters and events are the sole property of the author and may not be used without permission. Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. Batman created by Bob Kane. Wonder Woman created by William Moulton Marsden.

THE EDUCATION OF DIANA PRINCE

by Darrin A. Colbourne

"So," Dinah said, "are we gonna go in or not?"

Diana glanced at her, then returned to looking up at the brand and logo of the local branch of the ArrowMark Bank of North America.

"I guess I'm just a little nervous again," Diana said. "I know people do this all the time, but…"

"Then just concentrate on the fact that the ensuing boredom will kill any trepidation you might feel," Dinah said. "Trust me."

"Of course I trust you," Diana said, then with a sigh she found her courage and walked into the bank with Dinah at her side.

The branch was large enough to have four ATMs in its entrance lobby and a reception desk just beyond that. Diana and Dinah headed straight to it and the young woman sitting behind it smiled. "Welcome to Arrowmark Bank," she said cheerfully. "How can we help secure your future today?"

The question was rehearsed, of course, and part of the bank's promotional campaign, but Diana set aside her distaste, smiled back and said, "I'd like to open an account today."

"Wonderful," the woman - her nametag said Paige - said even more cheerfully. She turned her attention to the computer in front of her, pressed a couple of keys, then turned back. "May I have your name?"

What is your name? Bruce said in her head. "My name is Diana Prince."

"Very good," Paige said as she clacked more of the keys. When she was done she looked up at Dinah. "Will you be opening an account with us today as well?"

"Oh no," Dinah said. "I'm with her."

"I see," Paige said, then she had a sudden insight. "Oh...will you be opening a joint account?"

Diana's eyes widened a little. "No, no...she's just here to offer her support."

Suddenly Dinah put her arm around Diana's and squeezed close. "That's right," she said with a beaming smile. "We recently split up, but we're still good friends."

Paige's smile hardly wavered at the revelation. "Of course," she said. There was a little more clacking on the keyboard, then Paige pointed to a waiting area and said, "If you'll just have a seat over there, one of our Account Representatives will be with you soon."

Diana, still a little taken aback by Dinah's ad lib, nodded her thanks and walked to the indicated area with Dinah still hanging off her arm. When they were a safe distance away, she whispered, "What's this for?"

Dinah, chuckling softly, whispered back, "Listen, I'm in a bank on my day off. Let me have some fun, willya? Anyway, I'm preserving your cover. The only people who bring moral support to a bank are foreigners who don't speak the language and doddering, thousand year-old broads."

That made Diana's eyebrow go up as she wondered if Dinah knew how old she really was as opposed to the age her appearance suggested. Instead of asking about that, she asked, "Well, do we hold hands the whole time we're here?"

Dinah chuckled again. "Nah. Just till we get over to the waiting area."

They reached the area in another few steps. The waiting area was a collection of thickly cushioned and upholstered chairs and couches surrounding dark wood tables, the largest with several months-old magazines spread out on it. To her dismay, Dinah also saw that there were several people ahead of them waiting to be seen. There were two obvious couples and two young people who seemed to be there on their own.

Diana and Dinah sat down together on one of the couches. Diana immediately looked around. One person from each of the couples was reading a magazine. Each young person was using a smartphone for entertainment. After a moment's indecision, she decided to emulate the young people. Her phone was closer to her than the magazines.

Dinah, who was just preparing herself for the long, boring wait, saw Diana take out her phone and brightened. "Oh, cool! I didn't notice what kind of phone you had before, but I can share a video with you using the bump thing!"

"The bump thing?" Diana said as Dinah dug in her purse for her own phone. Dinah didn't answer. She just found her phone and pulled it out, then started pressing contacts on the display. She grinned when she found the video she was looking for and held the phone up with the display out. Dubious, Diana held her phone up the same way and Dinah touched her device lightly to Diana's. A similar tone from both phones indicated data had been transferred.

Diana looked at her phone and found a downloaded video ready to play. She hit the play button and was treated to an amateur film of a rather plump girl dressed like The Huntress. She spent four minutes of the video fighting off stereotypical criminals in masks in what was a very badly choreographed fight scene, then just as she seemed triumphant a garishly-dressed stranger snuck up behind her and knocked her out with a heavy blow to her head. What followed was a fade out that faded back in to the girl waking up and finding herself chained to a wall and wearing nothing but the costume's boots and cowl.

What followed that scene scandalized Diana so much she almost dropped the phone. Instead she stopped and deleted the video and turned to glare at Dinah...who she found had been looking over her shoulder and giggling the whole time. "Dinah," she hissed, "that was pornography!"

"I know," Dinah whispered back. "I got it off a porn site."

"Well, why did you show it to me?"

"Oh, I'll be showing it to everybody when I link to it on my wall."

"Why would you want to show such a thing to everybody?"

"'Cause it's hilarious and it'll piss Helena off something fierce."

Now Diana understood. "Is that really fair after she's worked so hard to earn her way back into the league?"

Now Dinah was scandalized. "Is it fair? Did you see that amateur video based on the Canary she put on her wall?"

Diana sighed. "What are these 'walls' you keep talking about?"

"Oh, boy," Dinah said, "I guess Bruce hasn't taught you anything about social media yet." With that she called up the FaceSpace website and found Helena Bertinelli's page. She scrolled down the page until she reached a post titled: "Black Canary in real action! NSFW." She then cllicked on the video link.

This video was similar to the previous one, only this time the star was a skinny blonde dressed like Black Canary. Diana watched this one for a few minutes, then turned away when the action got as raunchy as it was in the first video. When Dinah paused it, she said, "I didn't see anything funny about those videos. They just showed people degrading themselves, friends of mine and lovemaking in general."

"Well," Dinah said, "it will be hilarious seeing the twenty shades of red Helena turns when I post my revenge." She followed this with a villainous chuckle.

"I wish you two could find a way to get along," Diana said.

"We get along just fine," Dinah said. "We're the best of frenemies." She went back to web-surfing.

Diana couldn't think of anything to say, then she had a question. "Are there really a lot of women out there who like to pretend to be you and film themselves having sex?"

Dinah hit her with a raised eyebrow. "Not nearly as many as there are that like to pretend to be you and film themselves having sex. The 'net is rife with Wonder Woman amateur porn. Rife. All kinds like to dress up like you. Fat, skinny, white, black, japanese...couple a guys…"

Diana was immediately depressed. "And that's another reason I don't like the internet…" she muttered.

Dinah chuckled. "Try to think of it as a perverted homage. There are women out there who think so highly of you that they want to pretend to be you...and think that being a superheroine also includes super-amazing sex."

Thinking that didn't comfort Diana at all, so she put her phone away and went back to observing the people around her. In the time they'd been talking and sharing videos one of the couples and one single person had been called in by account reps, while a new couple had entered the waiting area. Meanwhile, three lines at the active teller windows grew considerably longer as people waited for service. The patrons all seemed to be feeling the same feelings Dinah had expressed to her about banking.

Except one, that is, who looked resigned and a little nervous as he stood near the end of the closest line. He also seemed like he was scanning his fellow patrons...just not for the same reasons she was.

She nudged Dinah and indicated him with her chin when her friend looked up. "That man over there," she whispered. "What do you think of him?"

It only took Dinah a second. "Just great," she huffed, "now we have to stop a bank robbery…"

"You're sure?" Diana asked.

"That jacket is too big for him. He's using it to hide a gun that would bulge a proper jacket, and his body language just screams 'Armed Robber.'"

"I was hoping I was imagining it," Diana sighed.

"Why?" Dinah asked. "Now's your big chance to take care of a bank robbery 'before' instead of 'during.' Just super-speed over and cold-cock him. Just do it fast enough to protect your identity."

Diana suddenly blushed. "I...can't…"

"Whaddya mean 'you can't'? You can sure as heck do it faster than me…"

Diana gave her a glimpse of the lasso underneath her clothes and explained why it was there. "I can't use any of my powers until he unties me."

Dinah was incredulous. "Seriously?" Diana nodded, and Dinah sucked her teeth. "Typical man…" she muttered, "...gotta hog-tie you first chance he gets…"

Diana blushed as she said, "It was mostly my idea…"

Dinah shook her head. "Whatever. We have to do something or this guy's gonna have a lot of money or a lot of hostages…" She looked around in frustration, trying to figure something out and watching the robber get closer to the teller window. Then she looked straight up.

"Di," she said, "make sure all your stuff's in your purse and it's closed securely."

"Why?" Diana said as she complied.

"You'll need to cover your head with it." She was looking at one of the heads in the banks automatic sprinkler system. When she was sure Diana was ready and no one was looking, she opened her mouth and fired the tightest hypersonic scream she could manage at the head's heat sensor, destroying it.

Several people in the bank screamed and cursed as the entire sprinkler system was triggered, causing a rainstorm in the bank. Then the patrons ran for the exit, getting ahead of the employees trying to organize a more orderly evacuation.

As Diana and Dinah followed everyone else out they paid close attention to the robber, who just stood in the deluge frustrated and confused until a security guard urged him to get out. The heroines wondered if he would try robbing the bank anyway, with everybody outside, but he finally cursed and ran outside. He didn't stop running until he was out of sight.

Later, when they were standing outside the bank wearing blankets from EMS and giving their statements to the police at the scene, Diana and Dinah left out the part about the robber, deciding for the sake of their respective identities to leave well enough alone.

When they were done, Dinah asked, "So, want to call it a day?"

"No," Diana said. "Somehow I think Bruce would be disappointed. He'd call this a minor setback. I'll just go back home and change and go on with the rest of my day. Want to come with me? My apartment's close by and you can borrow some of my clothes."

"Well, I'll go with you, but I'll have the tower teleport me from there to my own place and change there and come back." She then glanced at Diana's chest and sighed, "I'm pretty sure your shirts won't fit me."

Then Dinah walked away, leaving Diana to wonder, What is she talking about?

TBC...