AN: how good am I? Chapter four already! (This is overly impressive for one such as I – be nice :P) I'm glad you're all enjoying this so far. I am as well, so it's a nice combination! Anyway, thanks for all the reviews, I feel so happy each time I look to see them there. I can't help but smile. Anyway, Buttons to answer your question are Howard and Vince together? I have no idea :P – no, no they're not. They're simply 'friends' (but we all know they should be more) and just so you know I made that decision right this second. Hahaha.

Anyway, here's chapter four, and this chapter is dedicated firstly to Howard, as forgiveness for interrupting his sleep AGAIN and secondly to all the fic writers out there, because you've all influenced me in my Boosh writing, some quite a lot more than others and it would take me a while to figure each individual fic out – I think I may have read almost everything in the archive. I think in the next chapter Howard will reach the Nabootique and then it will really get rumbling. Naboo angst FTW! Anyway, I hope you all keep on enjoying this, and do so while you can… I'm getting ready to pull out (what I consider) my big guns and my tears bucket quite soon.

Captain Jacq

Disclaimer: we've been through this before. You know the drill. I'm a massive genius who has way more talent than Julian and Noel. So why on earth would I play in their sandbox? HUH?!

"Is this seat taken, Love?" I look up into the face of an old woman, her face crinkled with smile lines.

"No. Be my guest." I reply, shifting over so the old woman can sit down. The bus begins to grumble again as we set off towards the next stop. I glance down at my watch.

8:52.

Fifteen minutes until my stop.

Dammit.

I turn my attention back to the window. The sun can only be half seen behind a cloud. Why, I don't know. If the weather wants to shine then shine – and then I can easily hate it with good reason. If it wants to cloud over then it should.

Why half and half? Why not cry? Why won't the heavens cry? I sigh. Why can't I cry? I want to. I want to scream and sob and fall to pieces. But I can't. Something won't let me. There's like a lock in my chest. It's there. Sitting somewhere between my heart and my throat. A lump that refuses to move.

"You know the world shines if you let it." I look up. The old woman's looking at me. Her eyes bright and shining. The way Vince's used to. He used to look at me like that. Complete misunderstanding about how I can see the world so grey.

"Not this world."

"But you know, if you smile it makes everything a bit brighter. The world isn't that bad. You can find a smile in anything, you know."

"Not this."

"Tell me, Love, what's so bad you can't find a smile in it somewhere?" I stare at her. Red coat and curled hair. She even slightly resembles Vince when we'd tracked down Nanatoo. The lump in my throat grows. I can barely breathe anymore. I cough, clearing my throat.

"I learned today that my best friend has been dead for a year, and I never knew a thing because I didn't open any of his letters. He wrote to me every week for a year and I didn't listen, and he died and I didn't have a clue. Because I was angry at him. Because I was stubborn, because I thought I was doing the right thing. But he's dead. I betrayed him. So tell me, please, tell me where I can find a smile in that." I look away. I can't bear to see her expression. I desperately want to cry now. But the lump is still there. The block is still there. Stopping me.

"I'm sorry Love."

"Yeah. Me too." I mutter, I feel a hand on my arm. The old woman's looking up at me.

"It'll be alright, Love. I think if he loved you that much, he'd forgive you." She can see my guilt. See the pain. I nod, mute. She seems to understand.

"Thing's will sort themselves out, love. They always do." She's so kind, I open my mouth to thank her, but the bus dings and comes to a shuddery stop.

"My stop, Love. But don't worry. I think by the end of today you'll smile again." She struggles to her feet and I watch as she exits the bus, hair curled and dragging her carpet bag behind her as she stumbles up the pathway to the school. I watch her enter the school as the bus pulls away.

A grandmother arriving for story time.

"You know Howard, when I'm old I'm gonna be like them awesome old people. I'll like visit schools and give out sweeties and fashion tips. None of that reading stuff. Nah, you can do that. You can read em stories and I'll make em cool."

"Vince I don't think schools will condone an old man handing out strawberry bootlaces."

"I don't know what that means Howard, but I'm still gonna do it. Bootlaces and Saturn Zingers – it'll be genius."

For the third time since I got on the bus I want to cry, but can't.

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Howard groaned, thumping his pillow as he rolled over. He blinked, the sounds of someone out in the flat echoing through the door. Their attempt to be quiet not quite working. Howard groaned again. He opened his eyes all the way, but it was still dark. He glanced over at the glowing clock.

5.23

He groaned again. There was no chance of sleeping again now – not until he knew who it was who decided that five in the morning was a good time to be up and about. Dragging himself out of the covers into the cool air he crept across the room.

"Vince?" the young man looked up, startled as Howard exited his bedroom. The look on Vince's face told Howard he was almost as shocked to see Howard as Howard was to see him.

"Oh, hey Howard. Did I wake you up again?" he whispered from where he was perched on the window seat, staring out at the horizon.

"Yeah - it's alright though. What's wrong little man? You're not usually up this early." Vince gave Howard a small smile.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Nightmare?"
Vince took a moment to answer.

"Something like that." He replied softly.

"You know it's because you eat too much sugar too close to bed time. If you didn't fill up on wine gums and sour worms before bed time you'd be fine." He chuckled, crossing the room to take the seat next to Vince's.

"Yeah, but sour worms and wine gums are genius Howard. They're way cool – not like them biscuits you eat." Vinc grinned, Howard sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Howard - do you remember how we used to watch the sun rise? Back at the zoo?" Vince said his voice barely above a whisper as he stared back out at the slowly brightening sky. Howard stared at Vince, taken aback. It wasn't often that Vince talked about the zoo. A lot had happened there, but they never seemed to mention it. It was simply a part of their lives they'd left behind. It's was almost like the ability to discuss that part of their lives had disappeared along with Vince's blonde streaks.

" Yeah." He replied, watching his friend. Vince's face was impassive as he stared at the sky.

"I do. I miss that." He fell silent for a moment. Howard relaxed. It was so comfortable, right here in the silence. It had been a long time since he's felt so comfortable in Vince's company. There was just something there, not overly noticeable, but ever since the roof there's been something like… awkwardness between them. An awkwardness that's steadily transformed into something slightly like hostility. Hostility that Howard can't seem to shake – no matter how hard he tries. How hard Vince tries. It's always there. Hiding just below the surface.

"Howard, will you watch the sun rise with me?" Vince asked, turning to gaze into Howard's eyes.

"Yeah, sure."

"Not here – on the roof." Vince smiled. The hostility of the last couple of weeks utterly gone as Howard returned the smile – the hostility gone if only for a moment. The shouting, the drinking, the awkwardness, it's all gone in favour of reminiscing in another time - a lost time. If only for a moment.

"I'd be honoured little man." Vince beamed, the brightly coloured dressing gown he'd donned draping around him as he stood up. He swayed dangerously for a moment.

"Woah. Guess I stood up too fast." He giggled clutching Howard to stop himself falling, Howard smiled.

"No problem at all, Vince – but you know it's all because you're too bouncy!"

"Yeah, but bouncy is fun." Vince replied, with a cheeky grin.

"You coming?" Howard replied quietly, attempting to keep his voice from reverberating in the early morning silence. Crossing the room he pulled the window open.

"Yeah." Vince smiled back, bouncing across the room on his heels. Howard rolled his eyes chuckling. He knew Vince was grinning as he held out a hand to help boost Vince up onto the ledge and out into the cool air.

"I missed this." Vince sighed as Howard pulled himself up next to him. Howard smiled, watching Vince out of the corner of his eye. Vince looked tired.

"Yeah, me too." He muttered in reply.

"I'm glad I'm out here with you Howard. I'm sorry about everything, you know. I don't mean to yell. It's all just so weird at the moment. I feel weird." Vince muttered, he didn't look at Howard when he spoke though. He gazed out at the sky. Something like awe shining in his eyes. Howard simply watched.

"It's ok, little man."

"No, it's not Howard. I'm being a right twat to you." This time he met Howard's gaze. Howard smiled, encouragingly.
"No, it's fine. Everything will sort itself out. You'll see."

"Thanks Howard." Vince muttered, leaning against him, eyes once again turned to peer out at the sun peeking over the landscape of sloping tiles and cement.

"We should do this again, yeah?" he whispered into Howard's chest. Howard smiled, his chest swelling with affection.

"Fine with me Little Man."