Overhaul

Free Rent

Casey heard his front door close as Severide left, he sighed, he wished he had the energy to get up and punch a hole in the plaster, slamming his fist down onto his pillow had to suffice.

"I shouldn't have done that..." he muttered to himself.

He and Severide had a good thing going, a perfect thing going and Casey knew from the start that Severide wasn't great a commitment but everything was going so well between them, asking him to move in seemed to be the next logical step. His stomach was twisting in great angry knots, petrified he'd just ruined everything, he grabbed his phone from the bedside table and stared at the screen for a while, Severide wouldn't even be at the firehouse yet, he shouldn't call him so soon, he'd give him some space, no matter how much he wanted to dial his number and tell him that it doesn't matter what his reply had been. But it did matter, Casey's heart had dropped when Severide hesitated, and when he eventually replied it felt like the room had caved in around him.

Questions were whirling full throttle around his head, did Severide love him? They didn't proclaim their love for each other like couples did in movies but he didn't think there was a need for that. If he loved him then why did he hesitate? Casey took things seriously, more seriously than Severide; did Severide not take their relationship seriously? Would they not be together forever? Was it just a fling? Casey had honestly thought Severide was going to say yes, otherwise he would have never asked the question in the first place.

There was a sharp pain in his side, a reminder to take the medication that Severide had left by the fresh glass of water. He swallowed them down before carefully getting out of bed, he felt incredibly weak, his doctor had said it would be at least four weeks before he would be back at work and even then it would only be light duty. And since he could only do light exercise for the time being he wouldn't be able to take on any construction jobs for a while either. The thought of doing very little for at least a month only added to the misery he already felt.

At the firehouse Severide was sitting in his quarters, he was writing up a call from his last shift when Shay strolled by and popped her head round the door. "How's Casey?"

"He's fine," he replied quickly without even looking up.

There was something very wrong about the way Severide was sat hunched over his desk, avoiding her eye contact, she could read him too well. He knew this, so he'd look away when he wanted to hide his feelings, but of course she knew that meant something too. "What's up?"

"Nothing, Casey's fine," he stated.

"And…" she began.

"And I'm fine too," he replied but his tone indicated otherwise.

"Clearly," she deadpanned.

Severide sat up and took a deep breath. "It's private."

Shay frowned and tried her best to accept his response. "Ok, well, if I can do anything let me know."

"You can't do anything." – You can't do anything because you didn't see the look in Casey's eyes when I left him this morning – but those words never left his mouth.

"Fine, don't talk to me, but you better talk to Casey if the two of you aren't fine," she advised before leaving him to brood.

After having breakfast, although Casey wouldn't usually call a carton of Ensure and a small amount of scrambled eggs breakfast, he positioned himself on the couch to help comfort the pains he felt in his left side. The pain relief worked to an extent but the discomfort still lingered, he swore the pills had worked better the previous day but he had spent most of his time asleep. He glanced at his phone; Severide hadn't called.

Shay had just returned from dropping someone off at the hospital. She jumped out the ambulance and strolled across the apparatus floor, she stopped when she saw Severide sitting at the squad table, his crew were playing with a pack of cards but Severide wasn't at all engaged, he kept glancing at his phone and swiping the screen as if he were about to make a call.

She took him aside. "If something's happened between you two it's probably a good idea to talk about it," she edged. She knew Casey and Severide were as stubborn as each other, if they were at odds they wouldn't discuss it until it boiled over into an argument, they weren't good at talking. Andy's death had torn them apart, they had bypassed the talking phase and gone straight to anger, blame and yelling, but eventually they grew closer, they realised what they were missing, realised what they'd had before, and became much closer.

"Nothing's happened," he replied.

"It's not the end of the world if you've had an argument. You guys have been going out for what? A year?" she questioned.

"Exactly a year next week," he responded, he'd made plans weeks ago for their first anniversary.

"It's really been that long? It's gone quickly," she noted. "People have arguments all the time, it doesn't mean it's the end of a relationship." She didn't know what had caused Severide's mood, but the fact that Shay hadn't noticed him call Casey to check up on him and how he'd been glancing at his phone throughout the day seemed to indicate some sort of argument had gone on between the two of them. She was surprised at what Severide said next.

Severide sighed. "Matt asked me to move in with him this morning."

"Really?" Shay beamed. "Wait… You shouldn't be in such a…"

"I hesitated, I hesitated when he asked me," he shook his head, "You should have seen his face..."

"He does do a very good lost puppy dog expression… you both do…" she chuckled a little, "Did you say no?"

"I might as well have," he shrugged.

After a moment Shay said, "You want some advice?"

"From you? We're both equally terrible at commitment," he scoffed.

"Very true," she replied. "Call him."

"And say what?" he questioned dismally.

"You made a mistake, you…" she began.

He thought for a moment before replying, "I don't know if I did make a mistake."

"Do you want to end it with him?" she asked.

He replied immediately. "No, God, no…"

"Then what's the problem?"

But Severide just shrugged in response.

"Well, you better figure it out 'cause I love you both and you can't just leave him hanging."

Casey slept on and off throughout the day, the pain he felt never diminished entirely and he'd received no call or message from Severide. He replayed that morning's scene in his head; Severide had definitely said that he would call. He was probably just busy, Casey surmised.

He got Severide's voicemail when he finally decided to call him. "Hey, you're probably busy right now but I just wanted to say that you should just forget about this morning, forget what I asked, it doesn't matter. Anyway… erm… well, that's all really. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, we can… erm… I can't really do much… we can sit on the couch all day 'cause apparently that's all I'm good at doing… damnit…" He deleted the message and dropped the phone down on the couch.

Later on Casey woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He moved to grab it and winced in pain, even though he barely had to move to reach it but he smiled a little when he saw the caller ID. "Kelly," he answered.

"Hey, sorry I didn't manage to call earlier, it's been hectic here," Severide spoke, "How are you doing today? You manage to eat and everything?"

"I'm good, everything's fine," he replied, it wasn't entirely a lie, he was good but he was also in pain. The doctor had said there would be pain for a few days and to just take the painkillers when he need so he would feel comfortable. However, he'd now taken the maximum dosage and wouldn't be able to have any more for several hours and he was incredibly sore and tender. The medication also made him feel incredibly nauseous and he'd lost his appetite.

"Are you sure? You sound…" – You sound like you're in pain – he wanted to say but he never got the chance.

"Look, I don't know if you were planning on coming over tomorrow but I've slept most of today, and I'm still exhausted so I'm sure sleeping will be the only thing on my agenda tomorrow. There's really not much point in being here with me," Casey explained. He was distancing himself after the events that took place that morning, of course he wanted Severide with him even if he were sleeping but he didn't want to need anyone, especially if everything was going to fall apart soon.

"I'm coming over," Severide insisted.

"Don't," he said before Severide even finished the sentence.

"What?" Severide questioned, he'd not been expecting that but then again he probably should have after their conversation that morning.

"Don't come over, I feel like crap, I look like crap and I really just want to be on my own," he explained.

"Matt… if this is about this morning…" Severide began.

"It's not, you don't need to explain anything," he replied.

Severide sighed audibly down the phone. "Ok, well, if you change your mind call me."

Casey didn't change his mind and he didn't call him. Overnight he threw up the meagre contents of his stomach, it was agony as he bent over the toilet bowl, one arm steadying him and the other wrapped tightly around his abdomen.

Shay found him the next day trembling in pain, half asleep and feverish on his bed. She'd only popped by because she'd been to the grocery store a couple of blocks away from his house, she'd wanted to drop off some DVDs to try and stave off the boredom she was sure he felt. She'd let herself with a spare key in when he didn't answer the door.

"Matt..." She dropped to her knees by his bed. "Where does it hurt?" she asked, quickly stepping into paramedic mode.

"Everywhere..." he muttered.

"How long?" she questioned.

"I don't know..." he replied barely coherently. "I'm ok, he said it would hurt."

She wanted to admonish him for not calling anyone, for not letting on that he was in much more pain than he admitted but she couldn't. "He didn't mean this much." She tried to lift up his shirt to check the incision line and examine his abdomen but he wouldn't lie flat for her, it hurt too much. "Matt, hun, I need you to move your arm, I need to see what's wrong."

Reluctantly Casey unwrapped his arm from around his belly, the constant pain made him want to curl up, he couldn't relax when Shay asked him too, and when she asked him further questions he stopped replying, he just wanted to the pain to stop. The next thing he knew he was being helped to his feet, he felt nauseous and even his back now hurt. Shay helped him into the passenger side of his truck, he gripped tightly around his stomach in an attempt to lessen the pain.

The journey felt like it lasted an age to Casey when it only took Shay twenty minutes to get him to the Emergency Room. Shay provided all the information they asked for, Casey was lost in a world of pain and fever.

Soon the pain lessened, they had used the ultrasound to get a picture of his abdomen and the narcotics had kicked into action. "Matt, can you hear now?" the ER doctor was looking down at him.

"Mmm..." he tried to acknowledge, he looked around and saw Shay standing by his side.

"You're in the hospital," the doctor explained as Casey's eyes wandered. "Your abdomen is infected, there's a mass near your kidney, an abscess; that's why you've been in so much pain. We're going to take you into the procedure room and drain it."

In less than an hour Casey was lying in the procedure room with a tube in his side, the effects of the narcotics were already wearing off but the pain wasn't nearly as bad as before. The doctor had inserted a drain into his abdomen and had put him on intravenous fluids and antibiotics. Casey was alone, Shay had just stepped out, he felt miserable and embarrassed that he hadn't noticed the infection.

"Sorry I missed your call, was in the gym," Severide explained when he called Shay back from the hands free in his car. "Are you ok?"

"I'm at Lakeshore with Casey," she explained.

"What?" Severide nearly yelled down the phone. "What happened? Is he ok?"

"He'll be fine but he's here and he's alone right now," she replied. It wasn't strictly true because she had been sitting with him until her phone rang.

"I'm already on my way." He had turned his car around the moment Shay had said Casey was in the hospital.

Shay met Severide in the Emergency Room waiting room. "Where is he? What happened?" he asked immediately.

"His abdomen's infected, there was an abscess," she explained.

He didn't know how good or how bad that was. "Is he ok?" he questioned

"He's going to be fine, it'll push back his recovery a little but other than that he'll be fine," she told him.

"I'm going to speak to his doctor," Severide stated about to head over to the ER desk.

"You better come and see Casey afterwards," she warned him as she walked passed him back to Casey's room.

"Everything ok?" Casey asked tiredly when Shay entered the room, she looked distressed.

"Yeah everything's fine, how are you feeling now?" she asked.

"Much better," he replied honestly.

Shay looked up at the monitor. "Your temperature's still high."

"The doctor said I can still go home later, I don't have to stay," he said.

"You're an idiot," she announced. Casey frowned about to say something but the door opened to reveal Severide. "You and Kelly are both idiots."

"What?" Severide questioned.

"You're an idiot for thinking that the pain was normal," she said to Casey before turning to Severide, "And you; you're an idiot for not rushing in here as soon as you arrived."

"Hey..." they both protested.

"I'm gonna leave you two to talk," Shay said before slipping out the room.

"Guess I want to start by saying I'm sorry," Severide began as he pulled a stool up to Casey's bedside and sat down. "You asked me an important question and I didn't give you an answer, well, I did give you an answer, an answer that I didn't think through, so I'm sorry."

"No," Casey slurred, "I am. I should have known, I did know. I shouldn't have pushed you. You don't do commitment…"

"Matt…" he started.

"No, listen, you don't do commitment, I know that, I knew that at the start but I still pushed you out of your comfort zone," he explained. "I just thought…" he hesitated, his voice quietened, "I just thought that maybe, that maybe I was different, maybe I meant something else to you, I thought…"

"You do!" Severide insisted, "You mean everything to me! I don't do commitment, that's true… or it was true, because I've been with you for a year now, and before we even made it official I…" He'd not told him before, perhaps he should of because he realised now that it would have meant something to Casey. "Before we even made it official after that first kiss I didn't sleep with anyone else, hell, I didn't even look at anyone else."

"I…" Casey was lost for words for a moment, he felt both surprised and comforted by the revelation. "I didn't know."

"I didn't tell you," he smiled, "I have a reputation ,I know, but it's… it's always been you."

"Then why…" Casey began.

"The idea of moving in with you scared me, and I'm not easily scared," Severide admitted, "It would make things very real, I want that, I do, but… but I couldn't help but think what if. What if one of us got hurt, what if one of us died and the other was left here alone in a place that we shared…"

"You didn't want to move in with me in case one of us died?" he frowned, there were tears gently trickling down his face but oddly he felt touched at the admission.

Severide shrugged. "To be fair, I had just brought you home from hospital where you had emergency surgery, my head was all over the place."

"You didn't want to move in with me in case I died because… you'd miss me?" he questioned because he knew how devastated he would be if anything ever happened to Severide

"A lot, I'd miss you a lot," Severide emphasised.

"Ok," he nodded in understanding.

"Ok?" Severide repeated.

"I'd miss you a lot if you died too, so let's promise not die anytime soon then you can move in with me," he spoke slowly, like there was a lot hanging on each of his words but then he worried he'd been too forceful, too demanding. "I mean, if you want to…"

"Of course I want to," Severide replied.

"Free rent," he smiled.

Severide scoffed. "Yeah, Case, I wanna to do it for all the money I could save."

"We were getting too emotional, too soppy for my liking," he grinned and his smile lit up the room in Severide's eyes.

"Ask me again," Severide stated suddenly.

"What?" his brow furrowed.

"Ask me again," Severide repeated. "Let's do it right."

"Oh," he mouthed in realisation. "Do you want to move in with me?"

"Yes, yes I do," Severide grinned, lighting up Casey's world.

The End