When Neji arrived home, there was a message on his phone. Almost mindlessly, he pressed the replay button, his mind still on the encounter he'd had with that strange young man earlier that day. When Naruto's voice sounded in his ears, he quickly snapped to attention and shut the machine off. He really couldn't deal with Naruto right then.
Still in something of a trance, Neji walked over to his couch and sank heavily into its cushions. He took a moment to relax completely and let his mind wander. It traveled all over the place, asking all sorts of questions, bringing up all sorts of memories, and proposing all sorts of solutions. Which was odd because he didn't think he had a problem.
Neji groaned and ran his hands over his face and through his hair. He was now safe in his apartment once again, ready to continue his task, and he could barely concentrate. He sighed. Maybe a quick nap wouldn't hurt.
Neji woke to a loud knock on the door and a shout of his name. He jumped and sat up quickly, whipping his head this way and that, momentarily confused as to his whereabouts in his post-sleep haze. The knock sounded again.
"Neji!" Naruto? "Neji, I know you're in there, what the hell's going on!" There was a pause. "If you don't answer, I'm gonna break the door down!" Neji blinked, thoroughly confused, when Naruto continued. "Alright, fine, here I go!" There was suddenly a loud bang on the door and Neji felt more than heard it rattle on its hinges. He cursed. Oh my god, he's actually going to break the door down!
Without another thought, Neji sprang up from the couch and sprinted to the door. He quickly jerked the lock and wrenched the thing open. Just as Naruto attempted to barrel into it again. Neji had only one second to stare in shock as Naruto rammed into him. With two grunts, they both crashed to the floor. From the now open door, the twins stood innocently side by side, watching the whole incident. They looked to be thoroughly amused, but were secretly covering up the small concern and worry they'd felt when Neji hadn't immediately answered the door or his phone when Naruto called.
Now that they knew Neji was alright, they felt no compunction in taking some delight from the sight before them. Neji shoved Naruto off of him as quickly as he could, trying to hide his embarrassment with his indignation. If they believed him to be angry, then maybe the flush on his face would be attributed to anger and not… yeah.
Neji was about to verbally rip into Naruto when a previously hidden figure suddenly came into view. Sasuke.
Shit.
Neji flushed a deeper red and buried his head in his hands. Fantastic. So even Sasuke had been there to see this. And he looked just as amused as the twins.
"What the hell were you thinking, trying to break down my door like that, you idiot!" Neji growled. Perhaps the worst part was that Naruto didn't even seem fazed by the accident. He was just sitting cross-legged on the floor looking at Neji with ill-disguised concern. In fact, Neji didn't think he was even trying to disguise it. At Neji's pointed demand, Naruto's expression became a little indignant.
"Hey, I'm not the one who didn't answer my call or open my door when I came to drop off our kids!" he accused. Neji only looked at him. Sasuke shook his head. The twins snickered. Naruto, seemingly oblivious, went on angrily.
"How come you didn't even answer your phone?" he asked seriously, brows furrowed, eyes flashing. "I left you a message and then called your cell, left a message there, called here again, and then your cell again, and you still didn't answer! And then I come to the apartment, cuz that's where your cell says you were, and you don't even answer the fucking door! I swear, Neji, I thought you were getting robbed or something, you gave me a friggin' heart attack!" Neji glared pointedly at him, realized he was still sitting, pulled himself hastily to his feet, and continued glaring.
"Well, that makes perfect sense," he snarled. "The one time I'm not where you expect me to be, all of a sudden I'm getting mugged or robbed." He was secretly flattered that Naruto had been so worried about him.
The blonde man jumped to his feet and Neji took a step back, always wondering at this man's boundless energy. Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Neji.
"You didn't answer your fucking phone, Neji!" he snarled back. "You always answer your precious cellphone! You sleep with it on, you eat with it on, hell you probably even got it a water-proof covering so you could take it into the shower with you!" His eyes were earnest and sparkling and Neji had a hard time looking at them for longer than a second.
"Shut up, Naruto." Sasuke suddenly stepped in. "You saw, he's fine. Stop embarrassing yourself." Naruto's sparkling eyes flashed to Sasuke and he began to yell and flail his arms and the twins and Neji watched in bemusement.
Until Neji decided to nip the argument in the bud.
"Is there any particular reason you're here?" he asked in a clipped voice. Naruto immediately fell silent and turned to stare at Neji, as though the answer should be obvious.
"I asked if you wanted to eat out with us, Neji, and you said yeah," he replied in a slow voice. Neji gritted his teeth to hide his minute embarrassment. He'd completely forgotten. "Remember? This morning? You said you would be free around five-ish? Well, it's five." As if that made it any better. Quickly turning away from the crowd gathered outside his apartment, Neji hastily mumbled an invitation to wait a minute and hurried to get his phone and wallet. His keys were still pocketed in the coat he hadn't taken off since that afternoon and he took a moment to glance at the clock to see if Naruto really was correct about the time. Three minutes after five. The bastard was right.
Grumbling to himself, Neji stalked back towards the door, taking a moment to vent silently to himself before putting up his calm veneer.
"I apologize for making you wait," he said, not meeting anyone's eyes. "I – I forgot." It took all he had just to voice the admission but he was no longer a child and sometimes the obvious just needed to be said so that one didn't look like a complete idiot. Naruto just shook his head and folded his arms.
"Well, whatever, you weren't mugged so I guess that means we can head to the restaurant now," he exclaimed, smile growing on his face. "Let us forge ahead! C'mon, boys!" He looped his arms around Soichiro's and Keitaro's shoulders and pulled them forward. The twins grinned and kept up admirably, leaving Sasuke and Neji to follow at a much less enthusiastic pace. Neji sighed and turned to close and lock his apartment door. Sasuke waited, which Neji wished he wouldn't do.
The two walked in silence down the hall, having lost sight of Naruto and the twins, and having nothing to say to each other.
Once they reached the parking lot, they immediately spotted Naruto's old pickup truck and felt an overwhelming sense of relief.
"Hey!" Naruto shouted. "While we're young, please!" Sasuke and Neji responded with two annoyed looks.
They reached the truck and Naruto made a show of being asleep, snoring loudly, before pretending to be started awake by Neji and Sasuke.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I fall asleep on you guys?" he asked with a grin, a teasing note in his voice. Neji noticed that he seemed to be making an effort to keep from looking solely at Sasuke. He managed to ignore it and sneered in response to Naruto's comment.
"Just start the car, already, Naruto," he grouched. Naruto snickered.
"Way ahead o'ya," he said happily, revving the loud and fairly old engine to life. He waited for a moment and listened to the gravelly sound before nodding with satisfaction and patting the dashboard affectionately. "Good girl." Turning to the two errant passengers, he said sheepishly, "Sorry, someone's going to have to take the backseat." Neji immediately reached for the door to the backseat and slid into the car beside the twins. Sasuke looked at him for a moment before moving towards the front seat and getting in beside Naruto. Neji avoided their eyes as best he could without being obvious. He was so not in a good mood.
After a ride that erred slightly on the long side – filled with rock music that Neji found far too loud despite the fact that it had never bothered him before – the five of them found themselves at their destination: a very nice family restaurant they had frequented multiple times before.
There was one other family waiting to be seated and they looked at the three men and two boys who had just entered with some perplexity. Neji just held back a sigh and remained silent as Naruto prattled on to Sasuke and the twins, the former of whom would occasionally drop in a word or two, the latter of whom would respond frequently and enthusiastically.
They were seated quickly and soon were left to their own devices as they waited for the server.
"So, Neji, why didn't you answer your phone?" Naruto piped up suddenly. He sounded very curious.
"I was napping," Neji said after a moment's hesitation. Naruto blinked at him, surprised.
"Napping?" he asked. "I thought you had shi—I mean stuff to do?" Neji nodded.
"I did," he affirmed. "I was just tired."
"What made you tired?" Of course Naruto had to go there; he had to ask the questions Neji just didn't want him to ask. It was who he was.
"I was just out a little too long, I suppose." Yes, the answer was evasive and pathetic, but it was the best Neji could come up with at the moment. Yes, he was bullshitting them, and they all knew it. The look on Naruto's face said that he would be very annoyed very soon if Neji didn't give him a straight answer soon; the twins exchanged looks of dubious skepticism; Sasuke just looked slightly amused.
Thankfully, the server chose that moment to make himself known, and the group soon forgot the tension of the earlier pseudo-interrogation in favor of something lighter and more comfortable. Neji eventually managed to push aside his grumpiness and enjoy himself despite the fact that Sasuke was there with Naruto.
The enjoyment stopped cold, however, when Neji saw, as Sasuke reached for his drink, an unmistakable flash of gold around Sasuke's finger. He stared for a moment, unaware of the fact that Sasuke had caught him.
"So, Neji, when's your next vacation?" Naruto suddenly asked. Neji quickly turned to face him and schooled his features to calmness.
"Not for a while," he said. "I am taking a few days off to celebrate Hanabi's birthday, though, at the request of Hinata." Naruto nodded.
"Are we all invited?" he asked with a smile. Neji gave him a condescending look.
"I think she would enjoy that," he replied tonelessly. "I'll be sure to have Hinata send you the dates." Naruto rolled his eyes and glared exasperatedly at Neji.
"Or you could send me the dates."
"Or I could send you the dates." Naruto nodded decisively with a grin.
"Alrighty then," he declared. "We'll put it on the calendar." Neji chose not to respond and continued eating his food, his mood soured by the sight of Sasuke's ring.
They left the restaurant soon after and drove back to Neji's apartment engaged in lukewarm conversation.
When Naruto pulled up to the door, he turned to Neji and asked, "Do you want me to walk you up?" Neji shook his head and responded with a muttered, "It's fine" before getting smoothly and swiftly out of the car. Not one to be deterred, Naruto leaned over Sasuke and opened the passenger window.
"Okay, so you're taking the twins back tomorrow, right?" he clarified. Neji nodded, already on his way back to his apartment.
"Yes, don't worry," he answered. Naruto could barely hear him. He watched in silence with an unreadable look on his face as Neji walked back into the apartment building and up the stairs.
As soon as Neji reached his apartment, he took off his coat, threw it onto the couch and flopped down on top of it. He reached up to his hair and gripped it tightly as though he wanted to pull it out. He growled into the sofa cushions, and he gave them a hard kick for good measure.
What is wrong with me? He had acted like a complete asshole throughout the whole dinner. And then afterward…
Neji forced his head further into the cushions, embarrassment making him angry. Why was this so difficult? Why was it so difficult to at least pretend to be having fun? At least for that one night. Why couldn't he manage that?
Neji twisted roughly onto his side, as though trying to escape the answer. He knew it, too. He knew exactly why it was so difficult. And it made him feel like more of an ass.
All throughout that dinner, Neji had been telling himself to stop making his desire to be somewhere not there so obvious to everyone. To pull the annoyed and slightly amused look back onto his face for just a few more minutes, so that they wouldn't know how much he didn't want to be there. And Neji knew he should have listened to himself in that regard, but he hadn't. He'd pushed onward, making comments that barely hid the pronounced bite in his tone and words. That had all been for one reason.
And when he'd climbed out of the car, he hadn't looked back once. Because he wanted Naruto to know.
Neji wanted Naruto to know just how much he'd hurt him. That'd been the driving force behind most of Neji's actions that night. Some part of Neji – a large part, actually – wanted Naruto to feel guilt and regret over what he'd done to Neji. Neji, in a way, was throwing that in Naruto's face, in the best way he knew how: with poignant silences, obvious cold shoulders, and clipped words.
Because if Naruto was guilty, Neji would know he still cared. Maybe he wasn't in love with Neji, but at least he cared.
But it's still so vindictive… Neji thought ruefully to himself. When have I ever been like this before?
"Good god, Naruto…" Neji muttered to himself into the cushions. Why did you have to leave? He was so pathetic, he couldn't even say those words to himself out loud. And he'd been living with them constantly bouncing around in his head for six months. And everything he ever put pride or effort into was suffering because of those damned words. Because he couldn't get past them. Everything was taking a nosedive.
Keitaro and Soichiro flashed through his mind and he winced, unable to push back the relief at their absence, and feeling like complete scum because of that relief. Why was he moving again? Not the bullshit answer he'd given Naruto the other day. To give himself something to do? To take his mind off of everything? That was the only remotely true answer he could think of.
And since when was it so easy to lie to Naruto? Or the boys?
Was it selfish? Yes. Yes, it was.
Slowly, Neji pushed himself up onto all fours, as though in a trance, and turned to the answering machine. He reached out and pressed the replay button.
Naruto's voice flooded through the room, casual with just a hint of his usual excitement. Neji leant back onto his knees and stared down at the sofa cushions, just listening to Naruto's voice. The message ended. Another started. Naruto's voice sounded less casual in this one and a bit more nervous. Neji listened to that as well. The message ended.
"To replay these messages, press—" Neji pressed the replay button. Naruto's calm voice began to speak again. Slowly, as the words continued, Neji felt his eyes begin to sting. He knew what that meant. It hadn't happened in a long time, though. And he didn't want it to happen right then. He pushed the tears back. Naruto's voice continued to speak to him. The tears threatened again. Again, he pushed them away. Naruto's voice stopped. Neji pressed replay. It started again.
Neji fell asleep on the couch that night, and couldn't remember if he'd cried himself to sleep or not.
IMPORTANT! Okay, so, first of all, I LIIIIIIVE! I can still write, HA! Okay, now that I got that out, I apologize for the irregular updates. I have all these idea, but I just can't seem to get them from my mind to the paper... I'll try harder, I promise!
Neji's pretty screwed up so far... He's definitely not just a victim here. I hope that comes through loud and clear, but he's still got a lot to deal with. So does Naruto! Honestly, one of the biggest parts of this story is going to be the effects of the breakup on Naruto and Neji and the closure that needs to happen but, so far, hasn't. So, Naruto is as big a character as Neji here. Kiba's going to become more important, but that's going to be a bit slow-going cuz I love slowly and carefully developed plots!
I hope you readers like this chptr! I'm going to work very hard to keep things more regular from now on! Thank you!
Disclaimer, you know the drill, this not mine.