It was all I could think about for 2 weeks. James and me. Me and James.
Us.
Every time I saw him my legs turned to jelly. I was getting seriously worried; this wasn't like me at all.
Then I reminded myself that I had a crush; I was allowed to feel like this. Even if I didn't want to.
I grabbed each opportunity I had with him to make a good impression. I knew it wasn't exactly a first impression but I was trying to make up for all my old mistakes.
It seemed to be working. Whenever we had quidditch practise we got along fine, there was always something to talk and laugh about; although it wasn't just quidditch. We spent nearly all our spare time together: in the common room, walking to and from class; everywhere. And it felt great. It felt normal.
Meanwhile, Lexy and Sirius were (I really hoped) just a couple of chapters ahead of James and I, being in the first flush of…lust, I guess. Well, it definitely wasn't love.
All they seemed to do was make out on the sofa, on the quidditch pitch, even in the library (only once; after the nasty detention from Madame Pince, they decided that that wasn't the place for them). Which was ok, I guess, but it meant that we had trouble finding a comfortable place in the common room for our poor eyes to look.
One evening I was making my way from the common room to dinner, unusually on my own. James hadn't turned up; no one knew where he was and I was in a bit of a bad mood. As I approached the Gryffindor table, the usual sight met my eyes.
Lexy and Sirius.
I didn't mean to lash out at them, but I couldn't help it.
'God, will you two cut it out!'
They looked up in surprise and hurt. 'Just…keep your hands to yourself…ok?' I was already feeling guilty. 'Sorry,' I added shortly.
Everyone finished their dinner in awkward silence. I decided to change the subject.
'By the way, does any of you know where James is? It's just, he wasn't at practise; it's not really like him to miss it.' Honestly, you ask anyone in the whole school; they will tell you he's obsessed.
'Dunno.'
'Haven't seen him.'
'Sorry, no.'
Right.
'Ok, thanks!' I smiled brightly at them and walked away from my, still full, plate of food.
My smile vanished as soon as I turned my back. All I wanted to do was…talk to James, I realised. He would make me feel better in a flash.
Even though it was him, originally, who made me feel like this.
I climbed through the portrait hole and scanned my eyes across the common room, expecting to see that shock of dark, messy hair.
Then I heard my name. 'Lily, hey Lily!'
There he was. It took some effort not to run over to him. 'James! Hi, where were you at practise?'
He looked guilty. 'Oh, I'm really sorry but it was important. You will never guess what!'
'What?'
I saw him mouth the words before I actually heard them. When I did, the effect was stronger than I expected.
'I have…' he paused. 'A…girlfriend.'
Huh?
'Amber. She's so great, and you know,' he laughed. 'After everything that happened between us, isn't this great?
'I…guess.'
I don't understand.
'That's her, over there,' he pointed in some direction that I didn't see.
I didn't see anything. I walked straight past him and up the stairs to my bed.