Left Behind

"So let me get this straight," Xander replied, waving his hands a bit to emphasize his feelings of disbelief. "You're my father."

"Yep. I distinctly recall the moment you were conceived."

"Gross. Really gross. So, you're my dad. Cool. I can deal with that. Means that technically, I'm as much a Harris as I am a Clinton. But you hunt demons, too?"

"Well, I don't call 'em demons-"

"But pretty much the same thing."

"Sure. Oh my God, kiddo, it's a fucking lion!"

"What?!" Xander yelped, spinning around.

He turned back to his father, glaring.

"That's a cat! Not even a cat, a kitten!"

"Then you'd probably agree I was overreacting, that the graveyard kitty is hardly a beast of prey?"

"Of course! I . . . oh," Xander drawing the word out, "I see what you did there. Clever. But on the Hellmouth, in poor taste. You taunt Murphy enough, you will get smacked down by the fist of an exceptionally petty god."

All he got was a shrug. "Point taken."

"Back to this whole . . . disaster. You kill evil things, I kill evil things. I kill 'em in the Sunny D, you killed 'em back in the literal dawn of the fourteenth century."

"Yeah."

"And also back in '87?"

"Yep."

"But you knew my Mom back when you were what? Twenty-one?"

A sigh. "Uh-huh. We had a thing. She was the cute college co-ed with a heart of gold and the body of a porn star."

"Oh, for the love of Zeus! Stop!"

"Just sayin'. We were young, horny and we weren't very bright. We had some fun, we broke up 'cause she met some guy who turned out to be your step dad and a few months later, apparently Jess was pregnant. And trust me, you're my son."

"I can see that," Xander replied. His mind still was in a state of disbelief, however. "But then . . ."

"Me and some friends spent spring break in this little rinky-dink cabin that basically had a big ol' book of evil demonic spirits and all around horrible shit. My friends die, I wound up killing my then-girlfriend after I decapitated her. Then I had to kill her again, eventually had to chop off righty because it got possessed by the asshole making my life miserable, killed some more folk and when I try and get rid of the bastard, send it back to hell, I opened a portal and wind up in the past. Where I killed more deadites than you can even begin to imagine."

"Then the portal opened back up and spat you out into Sunnydale."

"Took a couple weeks, but yeah."

"How'd you know-"

"Well, freshman year I spent my spring break here. Came for the beaches, met your Ma, blah, blah, blah. I get yanked back through time and wound up here. Considering your Ma was the only thing in Sunnydale I had any attachment to I looked her up, saw her slumming it with some fat slob and then I saw you. Figured I'd introduce myself, let you know that your old man isn't a drunken waste of space," Ash finished, looking like he was hoping against hell Xander was finished with his breakdown. He also had the look that said he wanted to kick the shit out of Tony Harris.

He'd probably had the misfortune of seeing his stepfather yell at his mother or him to bring him a beer.

But to be honest, Xander wasn't really sure what to feel. On one hand, yay! He wasn't Tony Harris' son. He had to forcibly repress the urge to Snoopy dance all over the graveyard. On the other hand however, Xander's real father - standing before him in a dark blue button-down and tie with duct tape over his missing hand - wasn't old enough to look the part. If he had to guess, he was maybe twenty-nine, thirty years old. In public, he'd undoubtedly be seen as Xander's older brother.

Although it wasn't exactly his fault the portal that had teleported him almost seven hundred years into the past didn't respect his personal timeline. By all accounts, Xander thought Ashley "Ash" Williams should have been returned to 1987. It was only fair. Instead, he was here in 1999. Xander sighed, rubbing his face and wondering if anyone would even believe he was his father's brother. They looked too damn much alike. There were a few differences in bone structure, their noses were slightly off, Ash's chin and jaw were a little stronger and Xander was willing to admit his father definitely had the better looking head of hair, but because of the very visible age gap you could only assume Ash was his father. Fraternal twins didn't have an age gap of eleven to twelve years.

So his parentage should never become public knowledge, because of that fact. His Mom would go to jail faster than Buffy inhaled jelly donuts.

Fuck.

Then there were Xander's friends. Not that he was really convinced those people were any more his friends than Jack O'Toole had been. At least Jack was up front about it. You fuck with me, I'll gut you with my overly large knife with it's lady name. Xander was pretty certain that between not wanting him hurt or dead and somehow discovering his lie that saved billions of lives, Buffy was going to keep pushing him out of the group. Something her pet corpse would help push, if not for his spending a century in hell then for reminding him he was nothing but a demonically-animated corpse with pedophilic tendencies, and a coward to boot.

Willow had pretty much cut any ties she had with him to stay in Buffy's good graces the past three and a half weeks since the Hellmouth nearly opened. It'd been going that way for months now, but the fact that she was willing to accept the lifeline that came with the attached price of betraying a twelve year long friendship for her first girl friend, a girl who she clung to mindlessly after two years of knowing her. The attached price that made her out to be poor, defenseless and violated by his brutish self only sweetening the pot.

Oz was Oz. Even if he played a cool face, he was not going to offer Xander a friendly hand as he was ostracized from the group. Faith and Giles fell into similar waters, so far as he was concerned. Faith had sex with him, once, before tossing him out on his ass. That was as much his fault as hers, but the group seemed more accepting of the Bostonian after she helped them keep the Hellmouth closed.

Giles would follow his slayer into the depths of hell, with a merry, proud smile on his face. Impressive, but meant he couldn't rely on his help.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce was a non-entity however, as he didn't push one way or the other as he was content to lust after a girl who wouldn't be eighteen for another two months.

Cordelia.

Cordelia delighted in his misery, as in the end she may be one hell of a woman but when hurt and angry, she could gladly sink into the role of the petty bitch she played at in the halls of Sunnydale high. He knew he deserved some of it, but to take the full brunt of the punishment for the group, to be the villain in this twisted play his life had become?

It was bullshit, pure and simple.

Then his father shows up, explains that he'd been in Sunnydale for close to a month and spins the yarn that is his extremely fucked up life. Xander had been tempted to believe it was just some demon playing a game but Ash had pulled out a battered wallet and removed an equally trashed photo. A photo Xander had seen his Mom look at occasionally, wistfully throughout his years.

A younger, much healthier Jessica grinning at a camera held in the arms of a younger and slightly geekier Ash Williams, also with a grin that could split his face.

Even then, Xander could almost instinctually feel himself drawn to his father. As he did with his Mom, despite her inability to give anything closely resembling a damn about him these past few years.

So he couldn't stay in Sunnydale, which brought him back to a question Ash had asked him almost fifteen minutes ago. One he repeated, if only for his sake.

"You wanna road trip with me?"

"Sure, why not?" Ash replied with a big smile. Xander frowned, giving the older man a withering gaze.

"You may have years upon years of MSU under your belt, but I lack even a GED," pointing out something most parents found very important.

"Don't they have a test for those?"

Well, obviously his father wasn't most parents.

"Yeah, but-"

"Study, take it, bam! One up on all the kids in school."

"Why, though? Why would you want to . . ." he let himself purposely trail off.

"You're my kid. Now, granted, I hate deadites probably as much as you hate vampires, but I'll give them one thing. Weren't for them and their damn book, I probably never would have found out about you. That's worth somethin', bucko."

Xander blinked, surprised. This time Ash frowned.

"You're my son. I may have missed out on you growing up but I wouldn't mind getting to know ya," he answered, again surprising the Californian. He had a parent who wanted to spend time with him. "Besides, whaddaya got for yourself here? Besides for your Ma?"

"Hellmouth."

"Your friends can handle it. You told me they kicked you out of the group for your own good, I say it's their job to die keeping those demonic dirtbags locked up tight."

Xander paled a bit. He didn't exactly like them all that much these days, but he definitely didn't want them to die.

"Y'know what I mean. They decided you don't do nothin' worth mentioning, even if you save their asses on a semi-regular basis and can smack a vampire around pretty well," Ash mentioned, causing a slight flush to heat Xander's cheeks. He'd been caught taking his anger out on a vampire. The vampire seemed genuinely relieved when he'd been staked.

"But they-"

"What? Need you? Yeah, they do. But you wanna stick around so they can take potshots at you? Blame you for anything you're remotely involved in? Bucko, that ain't what friends do. I can't imagine how it feels, but lookin' at you I can see it can't feel the tender lovin' of a fine woman," Ash finished with a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"What about Mom?"

"Write her, call her, let her think you're exploring the world a bit. After that GED thing so she doesn't jump down your throat."

She wouldn't, but Xander nods.

"Plus, maybe we can send her some cash. Discreetly. Maybe let her know I'm back 'round these parts. Give her a reason to leave that jerk, even if it's so the two of you can spend time together without that whale ordering you around."

"When would we . . ." Xander asked, unsure. Ash smiled a bit.

"End of next week. Should give you more'n enough time to handle the important stuff. GED, getting some clothes and weapons packed. Oh, and tomorrow you should drop by the S-Mart after you let the school know you're dropping out. We still have a pretty good sale going on some of our guns," Ash finished excitedly, causing Xander to blink.

Then he frowned.

"So the gunfire there two weeks ago?"

Ash smirked. "Deadite scum."

Xander just huffed out a chuckle.

"It'll also give you and your girl time to . . . uh . . . wrap things up? No, that sounds terrible. I mean-"

"What girl?" Xander asked, in a voice much too tight to be anything but guilty.

"The blonde . . . oh. Won't say another word. One of those kinds of girlfriends. Gotcha," Ash replied, scratching behind his ear uncomfortably.

Xander felt himself flush a bit again, embarrassed but being able to push away shame he felt he probably should feel. After learning the Scoobies would barely let him in the library without a burning desire to get his learning on, Xander felt he owed himself some self-destructive behavior to match how his life was going. So he had bought a pack of cigarettes and was fairly certain that had been a suicide attempt given the coughing fit that followed. He switched to bringing a flask to school and letting himself laze about between buzzed and drunk, before quickly giving that up after a choice nightmare that had him and Tony Harris lazing about on the couch, chatting like old friends.

So he did the one thing that would have Willow - if she was still his friend, that is - checking Xander over for brain damage. He flirted with Harmony. A lot. He didn't do subtle, because subtle tended to go right over her bleach blonde head. It would also have the side-effect of her thinking he was trying to become her friend or something. But fortunately, she caught on quickly.

Well, it actually still took two days and spending the majority of one of their conversations staring down at her chest and complimenting her top while still staring, but he could forgive her since the idea of Xander Harris flirting with Harmony Kendall was as alien as Buffy Summers becoming a Cordette. She'd been a little against the idea of being anywhere within fifty feet of Cordelia's leftovers and said so. He acted surprised that she wouldn't want to be with someone who knew some of Cordy's deepests and darkests.

Xander had then discovered that Harmony was actually easy enough to be around when her mouth was otherwise occupied.

Afterwards and after letting Harmony know that just one of Cordelia Chase's purses was a knockoff - that mister Chase had given his daughter for Christmas for some odd reason - he'd felt like scum. But it only took a bit more iciness from his former friends to make his 12:20 appointment with Harmony a regular thing.

Eventually, when they started having sex he was surprised to note it was because the blonde had wanted it and he really didn't have to share much in the way of secrets anymore. Sure, he was suddenly paraded around like a prized stallion and the detached behavior from his friends became outraged at his choice in girlfriend and public dislike. He'd been ashamed for a while, but that faded as well.

His life had sucked and seemed to be going down the drain, but at least he could do so with a smile on his face. But now he had a chance to not just lurk in the cemeteries, clean up whatever team slayer missed (which, even with Faith, seemed to be far too much to be natural, as if someone was bringing the nasties in). He held no reservations. This would be a road trip that might not have an end anywhere in sight. But if the look that had graced Ash Williams' face when concerning guns was any indication, there would be plenty of blood spilled and most of it would come in shades of black and green.

Something Xander could certainly get behind. His life in Sunnydale was all but done for, anyway.

"Yeah, kinda. Don't worry. True love it is not," Xander offered, still a bit red in the face. "I'll do it. I've never really had a Dad who I've shared a hobby with. It'll make for an excellent bonding experience."

"That it will," Ash said excitedly, with an eager grin on his face. "And oh, look! Those nice vampires are offering us a head start."

A wicked smirk crossed Xander's face as he spoke, "Groovy."

Ash stared at him, at Xander Williams - as he was mentally referring to himself as to get used to the change - in surprise before returning the smirk tenfold. A shotgun appeared in his hand, where from, Xander had no clue. Not that he minded.

This was going to be fun.

Author's Note: Seen an Evil Dead cross here and there, but I have never seen one that addresses the physical similarities between Nicholas Brendan and Bruce Campbell. Which is easy. Xander Harris is obviously Ash Williams' son. After the previous chapter, I was reminded of this and eagerly typed this out. Had fun doing it, too. This probably won't become a full story, but you can bet I'll have a few more chapters featuring Ash and Xander. Which reminds me, I should never say anything's a one off. There's always a possibility for a continuation of a previous one-shot.