Oh, what, did you miss me? Yeah it's been a while since I've updated the story, mostly due to two things:

My parents gave themselves, me, and sister separate accounts (one on which I do not have Microsoft Word :l)

My general procrastination

But yeah, it's time to update! Lets do this! LEEEEEERRROOYYYY JENNNKINNSSS!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Stewie looked at the list of names that had been given to him by Montegram. Ok, thought Stewie as he checked off Quagmires name. I've gotten Quagmire, no who's next… He looked at the name under Quagmires. Horace? The bartender? What could he possibly have to do with this…I know bartenders sometimes like to keep guns in case things get out of hand…but I doubt he would have any reason to use it… Stewie thought for a moment. Well… came Brian's voice. How do you know that he didn't have a reason to kill me? Stewie sighed in annoyance. "What did you do?"

Cutaway: Brian stood on the counter of the bar, obviously very intoxicated. "H-h-hey, Horace?" said Brian as he teetered back and forth, struggling to stay up. "I-I-I…uhhhh…" He couldn't finish his barely eligible sentence as he crashed into the shelves behind him, crashing and sending the drinks everywhere, destroying the business for that night. "Dammit, Brian!" Horace yelled at him as Brian tried to weakly get up. He looked at him, raised his fist and shouted "Freebird!" before passing out.

"Smooth," Said Stewie sarcastically. "Well," Stewie said continuing on his path. "No use in staying in the past. He wouldn't hold a grudge about that. "

Stewie arrived at the empty bar about fifteen minutes later. Business was defiantly not booming that day. Horace began with his usual remark whenever he saw Stewie in there. "Hey, are you 18?" Stewie looked at him crossly. "I don't know…" he began darkly. "Why don't you ask MR. NINE MILLIMETER!" he said, pulling a gun from nowhere and pointing it at Horace's head "AHHH!" Horace yelled in surprise, pulling back and hitting the wall. "You have five seconds to talk, or else you get so many rounds in your groin you'll sound like Michael Jackson BEFORE puberty!" Horace looked at him strangely. "Talk about what?" Stewie groaned in annoyance. I guess word hasn't really gotten around yet.. said Brian's voice. "Brian is DEAD, you imbecile! Smith and Weston 686 right to the head!" Horace felt a knot in his stomach. He had bought a 686, but he didn't kill anyone! "Stewie, what would lead you to believe I would do that?" "Oh I don't know, maybe the day he crashed into your shelves and ruined the drinks AND business for the night!" Stewie was growing angrier now. "You just couldn't take the blow it left when people showed up for their whiskey, only to get none, all because of Brian!"

"Stewie….come on….I'm a good person, right? I would never kill anyone." He said, looking into Stewies eyes, determined to convince him, not knowing that Stewie was NOT a normal baby. Stewie lowered the gun….

Down to Horace's groin where he cleanly picked off every nerve in it. Horace's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he fell to the ground, near death. Stewie grabbed his legs and dragged him out of the door to the Griffin household.

Lois heard the door open and close and payed no mind to it. Stewie stopped as he was dragging Horace into his room to eye Lois. "Oh, for gods sake.." He muttered as he passed her, no one noticing him. HE got to his room and Strapped Horace to the chair. He firmly slapped him in the face and yelled "WAKE UP!" Horace grunted and came to, eyeing the room he was now in. "Stewie-" he began, but was cut off by the fact that his voice was so high he could qualify as Fred. "OH MY GOD! What did you do to me?" Stewie smiled and went into his secret lab. He came out brandishing a large ray gun. "I have one: completely ruined your chance to ever have children, and two: created a device that will restore your voice: as long as you just talk." Horace began to panic. "Talk about what? I didn't kill Brian, I've already told you that!" Stewie smacked him with a baseball bat he pulled out of nowhere. "How am I supposed to know you didn't, hmm?" Stewie smashed it into his knee and nearly broke it. "Now tell me every. Single. Thing. You. Know." Horace sighed. "There was this guy, he..he was at the bar one time when Brian was there….he-he was walking past Brian when he was drunk, he pushed Brian, they got into this huge fight..just horrible." Stewie eyed him for a second, implying that he wanted him to continue. 'The guy walked up to me, and if looks could kill, man, I'm telling ya, Brian would be in the core. So he walks up to me, and he says 'That stupid dog, I should kill him for that', and I say that Brian's one of my best costumers, and he just eyes me and walks out of the bar, really weird stuff."

Stewie thought for a moment, then Brian decided to ring in. Yeah, I remember that guy…real jackass. Stewie smiled for a moment at the felling of Brian still being halfway here and looked at Horace. "Alright," he began. "I just need one more thing and then we will be done here." Horace looked At him worriedly. "…What would that be?" Stewie looked away, before looking back. "What was his name?" Horace shrugged, saying "I don't know, I really don't keep track of the names of my customers."

Stewie groaned. 'Well can you at least describe him?" Horace thought for a moment then began. "Yeah, yeah, sure, I can do that..well, lets see…he was white, kind of clean cut face, wearing a suit, seemed like a professional. Lets see…brown eyes, pale, Oh! He gave me his address! He was under the impression that I also sold crack." Stewie rolled his eyes before he took the note.

"Thank you for you time, Horace." Stewie aimed the ray gun at Horace and blasted it. Horace screamed for a few seconds, his voice getting lower by the second, before returning to its original state. "Ahhh..better." Stewie grabbed him and held him up in a way someone would carry a garbage bag. "What are you doing?" He asked before he was chucked out of the window. Stewie smiled to himself and said "Taking out the trash."

Ya, kinda short chapter, but at least I have chicken :p

Remember, if you R&R, it means your cool :D Even if its just to troll, I appreciate your criticism and your feedback.