A/N: So I was walking up to my bathroom, minding my own business and there, on the doorjamb was my muse! In the shape of a cockroach. So I did the only thing logical. I shrieked and ran. Then, when I was sufficiently calmed, I decided that I was NOT going to squish it, but wait for someone else to do it for me. And while I was brushing my teeth, eying it warily, an idea for Chapter Four thwapped me on the back of the head. And I never saw the cockroach again. It's probably lurking in my sock drawer, though.

This chapter is dedicated to: PsycoT and the cockroach.

Disclaimer: I do not own LoZ otherwise there'd be more mad smoochies in the game.

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The steam fogged the mirrors in the royal bathroom as Princess Zelda showered. She had just finished rinsing the shampoo out of her hair, when she spotted a small, brown oval on the wall of the shower. She looked at it more closely and realized that it was a cockroach. "Ack!" She scrambled out of the shower and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her as she pelted out of the bathroom to find some brave hero to squish it for her.

Link was lost. He had been exploring the castle and had lost track of where he was. Little did he know that he was in Zelda's wing of the castle. He very quickly came to that conclusion when a sopping wet and scantily-clad Zelda ran right into him from a door on his right.

He grabbed her and steadied them both, then started blushing when he actually noticed what she was dressed in.

"W...w...why are you wearing a towel?" He asked meekly, wishing he could spontaneously combust.

"There's a cockroach in the bathroom," She said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the universe. She was actually trying to keep from blushing herself, and was horribly failing. "Would you kill it for me, please?"

"O...Okay..." He took off one of his boots and stepped into the bathroom, Princess Zelda peering over his shoulder.

They stepped over a pile of Zelda's clothes and Link looked into the shower. There was nothing there. Then he looked at the wall right next to his hand. There it sat, in all of it's cockroach-y glory. Link smooshed it with the heel of his boot. Then Zelda pounced on him.

"Thankyousomuch!!!!" She hugged him to the point of asphyxiation.

"Ermph...Not a problem," Link attempted to say. "But since I helped you, you have to help me. Could you direct me back to my quarters?"

"Go out the door, turn left, then keep walking until the path forks, take the right fork and your room is at the end of the hall," She grinned.

"Um, how do you know that?" He asked warily, not really wanting to know the answer.

"I sneak into your room at night and watch you, now go away," Zelda turned around and Link walked out of the bathroom into something large and rather squishy.

It was the king. Link looked up at him, very afraid for his life. He shrunk back against the door and waited for him to order him dead...or WORSE.

The king looked down at him. "What were you doing in the bathroom with my daughter?" He quirked a massive eyebrow down at Link.

"There was a cockroach in the bathroom and she wanted me to squish it," He said, staring intently at his boots.

"And did you?"

"Yes your highness, I did,"

"Good man. That's how I met Zelda's mother, you know. She was staying at the castle for some big Christmas ball and I was walking to my chambers, when this wet and naked lady bowled me over. Next thing I knew I was in the bathroom catching the lizard that had spooked her..." The king got lost in his memories and Link took that opportunity to slip away...

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A/N: Just so you know, neither of these things have ever happened to me. I just saw the cockroach and bolted. But it makes for a good story, no?

You guys should probably expect two today. If I don't get them both up, I'm very sorry, but I'll try my hardest.

This chapter was brought to you by: "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia