Tofu- (face down in a pillow) Blah. So tired. Okay, first order of business. (points to Raine) You're staying, contract included and all that jazz.
Chibi Raine- (smirks) Sweetness.
Chibi Lavi- (glomps her) YAY!
Chibi Allen- That's awesome! (points at Tofu) What's wrong with you?
Tofu- Well, since it was actually one of my friends that created Raine, she gets all the ownership claims on her OC. That's partly the reason she's staying. I was…convinced. (shifty eyes) So technically, I own nothing in this fic!
Chibi Kanda- You can get the hippie van.
Tofu- (looks up starry eyed. Lavi hisses and hugs Eureka's van keys) …Drat.
Chibi Kanda- Disclaimer- Tofu does not own anything in this fic, all OCs goes to her friend and all D.Gray man characters goes to Katsura Hoshino-sensei.
Tofu- And there's pictures proving she's a woman! HA! I was right! (everyone stares. coughs slightly) Right, carry on.
Day 4- Oregon: The Horrors of McEarls
The old saying was true- you really do learn something new each day.
For example- Allen never knew that Lavi was capable of sleep-talking and snoring at the same time.
And apparently he had very odd dreams every single night. Many of which included, but not limited to- invasions of 'evil-panda ninjas and 'giant hammers of doom'. Currently, Lavi was mumbling a lyrical poem declaring his eternal love for pancakes.
As amusing as it was watching Lavi describe a strange adventure of a group of exorcist hunting monsters called 'akumas' Allen found himself unable to get back to sleep after he woke up. He signed pitifully. Privacy was the price Allen paid when they decided not to stop for a hotel last night and bunked in the back of Eureka instead. He was glad that Lavi decided to bring a sleeping bag, pillows and lots of blankets.
Speaking of which, he turned to look at the corner furthest from the door, where Raine was ungracefully stuffed into the sleeping bag. She was awake, noticed he was staring at her and nodded in his direction, trying not to wake the sleeping Timcanpy on her head.
"How are you feeling?" Allen asked. She shrugged and gave a small sarcastic smile.
"Can't really complain." Raine replied, lifting up her tied up arms out from under her pillow. "Nothing much I can say when I'm tied up like this. So where are we heading today? Planning to find a ditch to leave my rotting corpse?"
"Actually, we were just planning to let Kanda hack at your body for the rest of the trip." he joked, watching how her eyes widen slightly.
"Seriously?"
"No." Allen said, she signed in relief before glaring at him and shook her head. Timcanpy abruptly awoke from her movements.
"Not funny, moyashi-kun." Raine scowled, but her eyes were smiling. Timcanpy began pulling and biting her hair. "Does he always do this?"
"Aww, he likes you." Allen teased, having more fun when he saw Tim use someone else as a chew toy for a change.
"Your friend, Jace." Allen started quietly. "He must be pretty special for you to get into all this trouble for one boy. I mean, most people wouldn't run away from home, steal a van hoping to drive all the way to Ohio to rescue their friend from a horrible future."
Raine snorted, ignored the tiny golem, and looked out the window, but not seeing anything. "Love has a fucking way of really screwing up your perception."
"You mean-" Allen looked surprised. "Did you ever-"
"Were we ever a couple? Nah." Raine smirked in that off-hand manner. "Everyone else thought we were though. We were always fighting though, teasing each other, and me kicking his ass every other week. I think the most we ever did was hug (glomps actually) and we kissed a couple of times. There was this chemistry though, couldn't deny it, there was always something between us. But nothing was said about it, acknowledging our feelings would have changed everything."
"..." Allen tried to bury himself into his comfy cocoon of blankets. He tried not to think about all the parallels of the relationship between himself and a certain temperamental samurinja. Thinking about Kanda was quickly becoming a hazard to his health. If he blushed anymore he'll be hospitalized for multiple brain hemorrhage.
"Shouldn't they wake up now?" Raine asked jerking her head at the sleeping duo. Lavi had made himself comfortable in a little corner of the back, tangled in his pile of blankets again, and Kanda had somehow fallen asleep in a mediation position against the wall.
"Yeah, it's nearly nine so-" Allen made to get up, but the blankets he had used to keep himself warm last night were tangled in his haste to move. His legs were caught between the fabric, trapped awkwardly and he couldn't free himself. Allen tried to gain his balance, and Tim was pulling his back, but gravity always wins.
Letting a small scream, he began to pitch forward. Allen was on an non-reversible crash-course collision heading towards Kanda's direction.
"OOOFK!"
"That's gotta hurt."
"THE FUCK MOYASHI?"
"PANCAKES!"
Allen was aware that the left side of his face was hurting, he had landed right on Kanda's knee. Groaning he rolled over on his side, realized he was laid out on top of Kanda and rolled right onto the floor. His vision erupted in stars and prickles of color. Lavi had rushed forward and prop him upright against the wall.
"Pain. So much pain." he whined. "Everything's in pain."
Lavi, Kanda and Raine's face peered back in concern. Well, not Kanda's, who looked more pissed than anything. Timcanpy was flying frantic in the air in a circular pattern, creating a little halo effect above Kanda's head which made Allen laugh.
"Allen are you alright?" asked Lavi unwrapping the blanket that had entangled him.
"I'm in too much pain to even consider thinking a sarcastic comeback."
"Don't worry he's gonna be just fine." Lavi waved his hand in a 'everything's-fine' manner, and lifted the blanket away. Raine frowned and looked at his left eye.
"Looks like it's gonna bruise really bad." Allen gave a loud groan. "Don't worry, it'll heal quickly. Smear on lots of mascara and black eyeliner and pretend you're emo, anti-social, or something. This guy here has the whole attitude down." she jerked her head in Kanda's direction.
"Shut up. Chibi." he sneered.
Raine opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, blinking wildly, before realizing that Kanda had deemed her annoying enough to label her own nickname. In his own way, Kanda was accepting her into their strange group. She narrowed her eyes and shot back- "At least it's better than BaKanda!"
Lavi cooed with laughter and tackled hugged Raine. "I'm gonna call you Chibi-san!"
"Then you're officially dubbed 'baka usagi' forever." Raine turned back to look at Allen, and blinked. "What's with the star on your forehead? I couldn't see it before 'cause your bangs were in the way. Some sort of scar or something?"
Allen paled, and the rest of the room fell silent. The eerie kind that everyone felt awkward in. Fortunately, it was Lavi that came to his rescue.
"We don't talk about it."
"Fine, I don't mess around with shit that's not mine." Raine shrugged off-handishly and let the matter drop.
The room lapsed back into the eerie uncomfortable silence from before, one that no one knew how to break. Suddenly, everyone found the carpet every interesting. That's right, the entire interior of Eureka was completely covered in white carpets, every single freaking inch. Although it was very comfy to sleep on, so no one dared to question Lavi's tastes in interior designs. After all, this was the same guy that got a driving license with no depth perception.
Kanda decided at this moment to start mocking Allen again.
"Moyashi, if you want to sleep with me so badly, there's lots of other ways you could get my attention. Besides kamikaze diving on top of me, of course."
Kanda smirked winningly, while the rest looked on in horror. Did Kanda just dished out a pick up line?
Allen turned a deep red, and stuttered in shock. Was Kanda coming on to him? No, the jerk was actually mocking him!
"I'll try and remember that, Yuu-chan." he smirked sexily, although it seem forced, "Perhaps next time you should just invite me to bed, to save all the trouble."
"If there is a next time, moyashi." Kanda smiled 'sweetly' back at him, "You certainly have a way of keeping things interesting when the situations arises."
"It seems it only happens when I'm around you." Allen quickly switched tactics, "If I said I had a cut on my lip, would you kiss it to make me feel better?"
Kanda of course, was never one to back down from a challenge.
Even if it was a verbal battle of innuendoes and pick-up lines.
"They should arrest you for breaking and entering in my heart."
Allen got up and stood so close to Kanda, they could feel other's breath on their face. "Do you mind if I stare at Yuu up close instead of from across the room?"
"Smile for me moyashi. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips."
Lavi and Raine were sitting in the corner that the redhead had slept in last night, watching their friend's not-so-obvious 'flirting.' Lavi was busy jotting down on pieces of paper every single word they said, the pen a black blur with the speed he was writing. Raine was having a lot of fun observing them and smiling for all she was worth. Timcanpy rested happily in her hair. She glanced over to see what Lavi was writing, shaking her head.
"Don't use that one."
Lavi paused in his fast scribbling to stare at her. "Huh?"
She pointed. "You use those to pick up girls, you're gonna get smacked to next week and back."
Raine turned back to continue watching.
"You know, under all that heavy flirting and those innuendoes, they're really saying they hate each other."
Lavi lifted his head again. "Really? I was under the impression that they were madly in love with each other."
She shrugged. "Same difference."
He nodded in complete understanding. "Wanna hook them up?"
"Lavi, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership." Raine said shaking hands, as best as she could while handcuffed, with a grinning Lavi.
"The shortest word for me is I, the sweetest word for me is LOVE, and the only word for me is YUU."
"And I think we just lost them."
Allen and Kanda's pick-up line battle royale challenge did not end with loud, lustful, make-up sex and the arguing couple professing their blatant declarations of love. (Although Lavi and Raine would rather document it otherwise) Instead, in the cramp space of the back Eureka, Kanda quickly discovered that it was very hard to actually use Mugen to mutilate the white-haired moyashi into a pin cushion for his katana.
Still, that never stopped him from trying.
The only problem was- when you're stuck in an enclosed space where you can't runaway, and there's an angry swordsman swinging his katana around, chances are- something is gonna be destroyed, and people are gonna get hurt.
So when Kanda moved Mugen backwards in order to slash the moyashi into eight different pieces, it had the complete opposite effect. Lavi, who was positioned behind the fighting duo at the time, was suddenly well aware that something very sharp and extremely dangerous was heading straight for his face. And because Lavi prized his facial appearance more than anything else (how else does he have so many fangirls?), he screamed.
So, Lavi screamed at a level that registered far above the normal noise capacity a human could make and threw himself backwards until his back hit the dashboard. Unfortunately, this movement created something of a chain effect, in which things took a turn for the worse.
The keys in the ignition turned when Lavi's hands moved in a series of frantic gestures, trying to stop Mugen from scarring his beautiful face. His wildly waving arm hit the gear shift, and his elbow moved the gear shift from 'park' to 'drive.' Lavi's boot, which had been discarded last night when he slept, had somehow appeared out of nowhere, followed the rules of gravity and fallen directly on the gas pedal.
And in this series of movement (which can be described as nothing more than miraculous) Eureka started moving without anyone's notice.
Except Timcanpy, who was fluttering wildly in the air, trying in vain to get their attention.
"Baka usagi!" Kanda pointed Mugen at Lavi's throat, who immediately closed his mouth. "Be quiet! You're being too loud!"
"Now, now. There's no need to fight." Lavi gulped, eyeing the edge of the blade cautiously. "Can we all settle down? And perhaps move the very dangerous, and very sharp edge of the katana away from my neck?"
"It's hard to stay quiet, when you're being threatened with the end of a sword." Allen pointed out, Kanda turned his attention to the moyashi.
"You wanna start a fight, moyashi?"
"It's Allen!" he cried, and they glared at each other, ready to start another fight in the back of Lavi's precious van. Luckily it was Raine who suddenly noticed that the changing scenery, the desperate Timcanpy, and that Eureka was inching forward.
"I think the van's moving."
No one spoke.
And then-
"Why is the van moving!?" screamed Allen and Raine together in horror, and instantly hugged Timcanpy for support.
Kanda looked up at the ceiling, the white-carpeted ceiling, and put on his 'why-does-shit-like-this-always-happen-to-me' face. As though the carpeted-ceiling-of-extreme-comfort was going to give him all the answers to the universe.
Lavi yelped and turned around in the driver's seat, only to see they were on top of a very tall hill.
He gulped.
And started screaming.
Until Raine decided to move up front and slam her foot quickly on the brakes. Eureka came to an immediate halt, launching everyone forward. And since none of them were wearing seatbelts, they landed very painfully, white carpeting or not.
"Riiight." Lavi laughed nervously. "That would have been the smart thing to do."
"Lavi, there's a fine line between common sense and logic." Raine explained. "You lack both."
"Which category does 'natural stupidity' fall under?" Kanda asked from his disgraceful heap on the floor.
"That's actually a third option."
"It's one that also list 'diabolical plotting schemes.'" Allen said, winching as he got up. "Is this 'let's-all-hurt-Allen-Walker' day?"
"Something like that." Kanda said, and Allen rolled his eyes and gave a tiny sarcastic "Ha-ha."
"Well, since we're all up anyways," Lavi smiled so brightly, it should have been illegal to be that happy so early in the morning. "Let's see how fast we can get through the state Oregon in a day!"
"Hey," Raine started, holding her handcuffed arms up. "Any chance you can get these off now?"
"Nope. No can do chibi-san!" again with that blindingly bright smile!
"What if I say 'please?'" she asked.
"It's for our protection."
"Oh, yes." Kanda sneered at Lavi. "We're the ones needing protection from the punk's who's tied up in bondage. The only reason's she's still tied up is because she's still too sucipicous. I'm not buying her story one bit!"
"What if I decide to use BaKanda's Mugen to examine your insides?"
So, Lavi decided to untie/handcuff her.
"So guys," Lavi started. "I think it's time we stopped for lunch."
Kanda hit his head. These people were impossible!
"That's a brilliant effing idea, baka usagi! I wondered what was your first clue?" Kanda pointed. "Was it when moyashi and chibi both finished all the packaged food we had three hours ago? Was it when your stomach suddenly decided to start consuming itself because there was nothing edible left in the fucking van? Or was it when the fucking golem began feeding on our brains by eating our hair first?"
"If I didn't know any better I'll say Kanda was being sarcastic for once." said Raine.
"Shut it chibi." he sneered, and turned to Allen who had opened his mouth. "Don't you start, moyashi!"
"It's Allen!" he argued. "You know we have names too!"
"Are you certain they're not just pet names of affection?" Raine asked. Lavi nodded his head enthusiastically. "Yup! Yuu-chan loves us that way!"
"Usagi! Keep your eyes on the road!" he barked, and went back to sulking. It had been silently declared that the left backseat was Kanda's official corner of emo.
"Hey," Lavi cried out loud, steering towards an exit sign. "There's a pit stop up ahead! We can fill up for gas and grab a bite to eat."
Allen looked once.
And screamed.
"The fuck's wrong with you, moyashi?" Kanda asked, holding his ears in pain and trying the calm the frightened Allen and frantic Timcanpy.
"Keep driving! Just keep driving Lavi and don't stop!" he cried in terror, looking at Lavi in his panic state.
"What's wrong?" Raine asked, startled at the way he was acting.
Lavi waved his hand calmly. "Don't worry. This is normal behavior for Allen."
"...This...is normal?"
Lavi nodded. "Yup. Allen hates McEarls."
McEarls was the nation's largest fast food chain restaurant. It existed in every single state, and there must have been some sort of universal law that one McEarl must be within five miles of the same restaurant. Recently the fast food corporation had been showing interest in expanding the McEarl chain into global territory and international markets. Although there had been many issues raised on obesity from eating too many burgers, and violation of health regulations.
It's mascot was a large clownish figure called the Millennium Earl, and his pink colored umbrella with a pumpkin head, Lero.
"Define 'hate.'" Raine asked, looking at the scared Allen curled up in the fetal position rocking back and forth, as they pulled into the parking lot.
"As in- with a burning passion so hot it could melt Kanda's icy-cold heart." Lavi said. "And you'll still have enough heat to cook some spaghetti!"
"And we're going to anti-McEarl protester into the McEarl building?" Raine commented as all of them got out of Eureka. Well, Allen had to be kicked out of the van by Kanda, who the white-haired boy had quickly latched onto. "That's like forcing an atheist to attend daily mass at the Vatican."
"Well, it's not like I'm leaving him in Eureka!" Lavi cried in his 'well-duh' voice. "Not after last time!"
"Moyashi decided to steal the hippie van, and go 'suicide death mission' by running over a Millennium Earl mascot." Kanda explained, trying to pry himself out of a stubborn Allen's grip. "Let go of me, moyashi!"
"Yes, but we don't talk about it." Lavi said cheerfully as he opened the door.
"This place is like the ultimate SIN." Allen whispered horrified as they dragged him inside the cursed building.
"It's not so bad." Raine commented. "Tacky plastic chairs though."
"It's evil." The white haired boy sneered, clinging onto Kanda like a life preserve. No one else wanted to be squeezed to an extra early grave by Allen's death grip. He eyed everything warily from the colorful plastic tiles to the ever present smile on the pictures of the Earl's face, and drew up even closer to the older boy as tightly as he can.
Kanda eyed the boy close to him. It was surprising that he let Allen hug him, considering how much of an anti-people-touching person he was. The hug wasn't really that uncomfortable, quite the opposite really. There was something about the moyashi pressed so close up against him that made his heartbeat faster and made his blood race faster than normal. It was startling and Kanda wondered if Allen could also hear his heartbeat through the clothes he wore.
"Oi, moyashi!" Kanda scowled. "If you hug any tighter, I'm gonna lose blood circulation."
"Could you?" Allen pleaded. "Even fainting a little is fine! Maybe we can sue the whole entire food chain! Bring this into a court case, then the news! Finally the public will know the horrors of corporate food chains and the stupid Millennium Earl!"
"Moyashi, don't make me smack you upside the head with Mugen."
Allen frowned at Kanda's threat and hugged him even tighter. "You keep on saying these thing, but how about you actually do something about it?"
"I promise I'll teach you a lesson for two when we get back in the van."
Of course, if one were to consider the fact that Allen was practically fused to Kanda's side, and they were seen in public so close like this. They would have to re-think on the last sentence. Not to mention that Kanda had said everything in a deep low voice as not to attract attention, which some could have mistaken as his 'bedroom voice.'
If they were anymore oblivious to their relationship, Lavi suspected that he'll have to smack the yaoi into them with a giant hammer.
Their argument was cut short when Raine turned around and asked- "Are you guys getting anything?"
"Not hungry." was their reply. Raine's eyes widen to huge proportion.
"Seriously?"
"I refuse to eat anything here." Allem shuddered, he would rather starve to death than ever touch anything from McEarls!
"Maybe I should get a McHungry Deluxe or maybe a McEarl with extra cheese." Lavi wondered out loud, frowning at the menu choices and contemplating his cheese future. "Oh look! They have a 'Cheer-me-up' meal!"
Raine waved ten dollars in front of his face. "I'll pay you if you order it, finish it, and then go up and demand a refund 'cause it didn't cheer you up."
"Of course you're not gonna be happy!" Allen cried out. "They make everything you eat outta corruption and the fabrication of deception!"
"Moyashi," Kanda twitched. "What did we say about being seen but not heard?"
Lavi began listing off a list of food he wanted to order. The person at the cashier was an employee that had worked here for a long time, with a name tag that said- 'Cell Roron.' He looked like the kind of person who was 30 and still lived in his mother's basement.
"Your total comes out to-"
"Aren't you gonna ask us if we want LIES with that?" Allen mocked, cutting into the conversation. Raine quickly whipped behind her and hit him on the head, then she turned around and smiled brightly, as though nothing had happened.
"Sorry, he forgot to take his medication."
The cashier shifted his eyes around, and leaned in close, like he was sharing a very important secret.
"Don't tell my boss this- I forgot too."
They blinked.
Raine nodded awkwardly and grabbed their food. "Riiight. We'll be going now."
Lavi quickly steered everyone out the restaurant, and they took off running towards the van right after the step outside. Allen immediately threw himself into Eureka's backseat and grabbed onto Timcanpy, hugging him in his death grip hug. "Drive Lavi! And step on it!"
"Aww, we forgot the condiments." Raine said sadly, looking into the bag. Allen turned his eyes on her.
"Does it really matter!?"
"Well, ketchup makes everything taste better." Lavi said, starting up Eureka and biting into one of the burgers, Allen's eyes widen in shock.
"Lavi, spit it out right now!" he yelled. "You're eating corruption and lies!"
"Really?" Lavi lifted an eyebrow. "Tastes like chicken and beef."
"Moyashi, just be quiet." Kanda whispered in pain, trying to ignore the huge headache that coming. Allen was happy to note that he wasn't eating anything from McEarls. Of course, the samurinja never ate anything unless it was his precious soba or tempura.
"This thing is like death on a stick." Raine whispered horrified, watching the greasy oil drip off the limp fry. "I think I just lost the will to eat."
"Only it'll kill you much faster!" Lavi happily agreed, munching on his burger. Kanda tried not to shudder in disgust at what he was eating.
"It's your sins you're consuming!" Allen whispered terrifyingly. Kanda resisted the urge to hit Allen again.
"Then it's sin-fully delicious!" Lavi said.
"That makes me feel much better." Raine sarcastically answered back, she was shocked to see her meal suddenly disappear from her hands. Allen had dove himself from the back seat, snatched the burger and quickly rolled down his window.
He threw the piece of garbage out as far as he could, crying- "Repent! Repent for your sins!"
Kanda smacked him upside the head. "Baka moyashi! You're annoying me."
"...I was eating that." Raine said mournfully.
"Don't worry!" Allen cried happily. "You can always beg for forgiveness and atone for the sins you've committed!"
"...Kanda smack him again, I'm too far away."
Kanda gladly obliged.
Things returned to normal... for about a hour or so. Lavi was so focused getting through the state of Oregon in a day, that when he reached for his sixth burger-
Allen decided that it would be the perfect moment to dive up front and steal the burger made of sin and evil.
And of course, Kanda was pissed off.
No wait, that's actually normal.
"If you even think about stealing the burger," Kanda threatened. "And you make this van move, and we crash into a cactus outside, then we will all die. I will find some way to haunt your soul and make you suffer for the rest of your pitiful existence. ANd I'll give you another black eye so we'll have to call you panda."
"Yup," Raine commented, nodding her head. "Definitely pet names."
"I've faced debts that are scarier than your threats." Allen said to Kanda's face, before turning to ask Lavi- "Speaking of which, Cross' probably not too happy I decided to ditch the debt collectors. Our guardians know where we are...right?"
"..." Lavi's eye widen, and he looked shocked. "Uh-oh."
"Lavi, do not use that voice with me." Allen said in frightening horror. "You did remember to tell them. Lavi?"
"Baka usagi!" Kanda smacked Lavi's head with Mugen. "Don't you ever think things through?"
"Looks like you're all in trouble." Raine smirked. Lavi rubbed his sore head and turned to look at her.
"Does your parents know where you are?"
Raine had the decently to blush and whisper. "Not exactly..."
"We better call them." Allen said, and Timcanpy opened his mouth, displaying a phone number. "Of course, it's not like Cross is ever home."
"Timcanpy's a cell phone? Awesome." Raine said looking in awe. "Hey, put it on loudspeakers!"
A loud dial tone echoed through Eureka, the sound repeated for a couple of seconds before Allen was transferred over to Cross' voicemail.
"This is Cross. If you're a debt collector, all your concerns goes to my idiotic adopted son. Feel free to shake the money out of him if you choose. Leave me a sexy message and I'll get back to you lovely ladies sooner! Beep."
"Hey Cross." Allen spoke, trying not to meet anyone's stare. "Listen, my friends and I decided to take a little cross-country road trip for the month. So I'm not going to be home for awhile. I swear, I'm not running away, and it's not like you're gonna pay any ransom anyways. Timcanpy came along with me, so bother looking for him. Also, the debts can wait a little bit longer, and it's your problem in the first place so stop trying to pass it on to me!"
Raine stared at him. "Your dad makes you pay the debts?"
"Adopted." Allen said, as though it explained everything. "The thing about Cross is- He'll make you pay for your own ransom money if you're kidnapped."
"Well, it's your own fault for getting kidnapped in the first place." Kanda whispered. "Where's my cell phone?"
"Here!" Lavi tossed something black and shiny to the backseat. Kanda caught it but didn't move to call anyone. "Aren't you going to call Tiedoll?"
"The idiot's probably angsting over his bad parenting skills or something." he answered. "Best to let him weep it out. I'll call him when we get back in a month."
"Ah! But remember the last time you forgot to call Tiedoll?" Allen pointed out.
"Moyashi," Kanda growled out. "I do not need a repeat of the 'buddy system.'"
No one dare laugh as Kanda angrily dial his parent's number. Still, that didn't stop the wide the grin that broke out on everyone's face when they turned away from Kanda. And the angry Japanese began whispering furiously under his breath a curse that they'll all choke on their laughter and die.
Allen saw his chance, and grabbed the cell phone from Kanda's grip. He quickly put it on loud speakers as soon as the call picked up.
"YUU-KUN!!"
Kanda's left eye twitched. "The fucking bastard has caller ID."
"Oh, my darling son has finally decided to call home!" wept the voice form the other line. "These last couple of days have been so quiet and empty! How could you leave me all alone, by myself when you suddenly disappeared and ran away from home! What did I do wrong? Was I a bad parent? Not a call, not one single call! Do you know how worried I was? You made your father very sad, Yuu-kun!"
"I'm not you son." Kanda growled. "Please, don't ever call me Yuu-kun again."
"But I adopted you when you were just a little baby! When you were young enough to wave your little katana in the air! And I'm the only father you have!" Tiedoll was actually crying when he said this.
"Don't you have a sense of dignity?" Kanda asked.
"Just give up. You know Tiedoll always gets like this around you." Allen whispered.
"Oh? Do I hear dear Allen's voice?" Tiedoll immediately sobered up and sounded serious. "Dragging little innocent boys into your affairs of tangled lies! Yuu-kun, just what kind of trouble did you land into?"
"I'm not in trouble." Kanda said. "I was just kidnapped."
This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Tiedoll launched into a full speech filled with threats and more cries of 'Yuu-kun!' The current 'Yuu-kun' was sitting in his little corner trying to blend into the white carpeting of the van, there was this little cloud of doom hanging around him.
Lavi and Allen quickly explained what had happened during their little kidnapping. Tiedoll stopped his crying and gave a joyous laugh instead.
"I see now, so this is a little field to strengthen the bonds of friendship and the wonders of the coming of age! Well, I hope you learn something from this experience, Yuu-kun- the importance of your fellow comrades and the springtime of youthfulness!"
"It's summer vacation." Kanda pointed out. "And please, don't say it like that."
"I'll see you in a month's time!"
"That's too soon." Kanda said as he hung up.
"So I guess Lavi's next." Allen looked at the driver. "Although I'm not too sure you should be driving and talking at the same time."
"Allen, I'm going to pretend I had no idea what you just said." Lavi said, before eyeing his phone nervously.
"...You forgot to tell him didn't you?" Raine stated. Lavi gave nervous laugh before picking it up.
"That's such a harsh judge of character." he said, punching in a number. "I prefer to use the term 'simply slipped my mind.'"
The phone rang ominously in Eureka and Lavi half looked like he wanted nothing more than for the phone to explode. Sadly, his wish was not granted, and a gruff, old voice came from the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Gramps!" Lavi said in an overly cheerful voice. "How's it's going?"
"Lavi! You no good grandson apprentice of mine!" the voice continued to yell in many different dialects and languages, none of which any other members in the van was able to recognize. "-Your actions has brought disgrace to the Bookman's clan!"
"Really?" Lavi raised his eyebrow. "'Cause last week you were saying I was bringing dishonor. So, it's disgrace now? That's a step up the ladder in my book."
"Lavi, I demand to know what made you decide to suddenly leave your Bookman duties for the summer!"
Lavi smacked his forehead with his palm. "So that's what I forgot to do! Sorry, Gramps. There was an unscheduled vacation that suddenly appeared in my planner. I'm on a cross-country road trip right now, so I'm gonna be gone for the month."
"And I ask you this- what purpose does your road trip serve?"
"It's for educational purposes, of course!" Lavi fibbed. "See, I was kinda hoping to work on a documentary series that features various sites and landmarks famous throughout the states. And along with my trusty crew we'll attack the urban legends surrounding those places!"
"..." there was no answer. "So, you decided to ditch you Bookman duties to go on a field trip."
"Hey! That's not- Well, yeah." Lavi nodded. "That's basically it."
"When you get back you're not leaving the library until you have completed reading every single book that's in here." And the Bookman hung up.
Lavi gave a giant sigh of relief. "Well, that worked out better than I had expected."
No one bother to comment that Lavi's idea of 'normal' usually bordered-lined on bizarre/strange.
Everyone looked at Raine, the only person in Eureka that still have yet to make a phone call. With a sigh, she quickly dialed a number on her cell phone and put the call on loudspeaker like everyone else had. She looked a little bit nervous as the seconds pass. There was a short wait before someone picked up on the other line.
"Whatever you need to say- state your business in less than a minute. Everything you say- can and will be used in court if I consider you a threat."
Everyone in Eureka sweat dropped, the female's voice had sounded very angry and threatening. No wonder Raine had such a strange, and slightly violent attitude. Raine had the dignity to look very embarrassed and her face turned hot pink.
"Hey mom."
"Squirt!" Raine violently twitched at the nickname. "Where have you been? Running from home for three days? You know how scared we were?"
Raine blinked. "You were worried?"
"Of course, I was worried! My hell spawn is running around free in public corrupting innocence, creating chaos-" the female voice continued to list off crimes that her daughter probably had already committed. "-I'm surprised Interpol hadn't located you yet!"
"Mom!" Raine jerked upright in shock. "Please, tell me you haven't been going through my stash of anime/manga again!"
"I would...but then that would be a giant lie. It's good stuff...although the dubbed voices nearly killed the cat with its high pitch-ness."
"At least you didn't sell the stash on eBay this time." Raine muttered to herself. "Where's Dad?"
"Daddy had a frantic attack when he found out you were missing." said the female voice. "He's fine now. Though he's been screening every single call that comes through. You better count your lucky stars that he's at work now. Mommy's not covering the next time you decide to run away to elope with Jace."
"Mom, it's wrong when you start talking about yourself in the third person." Raine sighed. "And I did not run away to elope with him."
"Oh. Well... I suppose I'll have to explain to Daddy that our daughter ran off to elope with her other best boy friend." was the reply. "Listen, whatever you have to do to fix your little relationship, do it and come back home as quickly as you can. When are you coming back?"
"I'll be back home in a month."
"What the hell are you taking your time for? An extra honeymoon?" there was a loud huff of air. "Fine, I'm sure I can keep your Daddy occupied... I've been meaning to find a use for those sleeping pills anyway. Love you squirt!"
"If I come to a house decked out in yellow police tape, I'm so not posting your bail money." Raine stated, only to hear her mother blow a loud wet raspberry and promptly hung up on her.
Raine turned around.
"I swear- I'm not related to her by choice."
Tofu- I noticed that the chapters are getting longer. Hope no one is complaining- lots of stuff can happen in a day. And when you're on the road trip to hell, things get screwed over, repeatedly.
Chibi Lavi- So, Tofu-sama got a little challenge- try and include all the characters of D.Gray man into her fic! Even mentioned as cameos in her story still counts!
Chibi Kanda- (drags in Allen. panting. pushes Allen into Tofu's hands) Take him! He needs a complete personality change!
Chibi Raine- (stares) What happened to you?
Chibi Kanda- Moyashi here tried to run over the fat-ass Earl with Eureka.
Chibi Allen- I got his hat too! (holds up top hat)
Chibi Lavi- What? (runs outside to check on his precious Eureka)
Chibi Raine- Hey! (changes channel) Asstart and shorty are on the 6 o'clock car chase!
Tofu- Writing the chibi omakes are always the best part of each chapter!