Chapter 4: Brother Lover Friend

October 9th 2053

"It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life, I'd like to witness that," Solace said sincerely, searching my eyes for an answer before I spoke.

"Yeah, it's supposed to be a lot of things," I sighed, heading back inside to retrieve an extra invitation and passing it to him before I slammed the door. My father stiffened when I passed him again but he said nothing, he was the strong silent type and I loved him for it; the last thing I needed right now was to argue about or discuss Solace.

"What was that about?" Ava whispered as I reentered. She stopped me before I was all the way inside. Her fiancé Eli stood behind her, his arm around her waist and eyes averted to signify he wasn't reading my lips or eavesdropping; he just couldn't stand being away from Ava for such a long time. I love them, I love them both so much, but at moments like this, seeing them so perfect together, made me nauseous.

"He… .um, wanted to give me this," I said flinging the garter belt into her hands. Eli turned as the flash of white passed his eyes. He examined it before his eyes widened, taking in the lace personals for a full second before he kissed Ava's cheek and slipped out the room acknowledging our need for girl-time. She moved to pass it back to me but I waved it off. I didn't want to touch it; Lord knows whose it was and where it had been, you could never be sure with Solace.

"It's beautiful," Harley gasped coming forward and pulling it out of Ava's hand. I hadn't actually looked at it to be honest; my eyes were always on Solace's whenever he was near.

"It's probably Amber's," I hissed. Ava and Harley shared a look, the kind of look parents would give each other if they had a child throwing a fit. And maybe I was being irrational, but knowing that Amber and Solace would be here today, even if it wasn't together, was hard for me. I know now what she had done for me, but I also know what she did to me. The two did not balance and that was hard to forget.

How different would things have been if she had left him earlier? Or if she had never married him in the first place? If she had told him everything before she left? Maybe it wouldn't have been any different, maybe Solace and I were just destined not to work, but it didn't help me feel any less nervous. Would they rekindle their romance after I got married? Maybe they should. I had no right to stop him. She had never remarried from what I could see, they had the right to be happy… it just made me sick to think of him with anyone but me.

"Well, unless Amber got married in the mid-nineteen hundreds, I doubt it. This is probably about a hundred-years old, handmade lace and embroidering," Harley listed off as she rubbed it between her fingers.

"Well, what the fuck was he doing here? That's my question?" Chloe asked, one hand on her hip the other still holding my stupid dress. Whenever Amber was mentioned I undoubtedly feel fatter, because even frozen at 35, Amber's still hotter than me… life is just unfair like that.

"He knows he's not supposed to be here, he has to realize that it's not a bright idea," Harley agreed.

"He wants to see me happy," I sighed. Just not bad enough to fight for me, I finished to myself.

July 4th 2038

I knew our friendship was supposed to be kept secret, I knew it deep down from the second he climbed into my window limping, so it made it harder for me to find out about him. He didn't tell me much and I wasn't supposed to know him. I've known Solace for almost a year and all I know about him is that he's a wolf, he's divorced and that he hurt himself in the battle that Devlin died in.

When I was being sneaky, I could get little things about him out of Phil or Tara. Like the fact that he liked meatloaf and Tara's meatloaf was his favorite because it was spicy. He was old, very old like my dad, but he still looked young, so I didn't have to worry about him dying.

Since Devlin died I worry about everyone dying. Anyone could die at almost any time, ya know? Then they're gone forever. Solace's mother was dead, and he never had a daddy, it was so sad. My dad was the coolest guy I knew. I couldn't imagine life without him, and Solace didn't even have a mom left or a sister and brother like me. He was all alone like those people in the old-folks' homes my mother volunteered at sometimes.

"Can I hold her? Can I hold her?" I cried as I hopped around Tara who sat holding her youngest daughter to her chest. She caved after a few minutes, pointing me over to a chair before she place baby Hope into my waiting arms.

Hope was almost year-old now, still super tiny and so beautiful. I want babies just like this, so, so perfect. Hope Solace Lynch was Tara and Phil's first baby together but Tara had two other daughters, Chloe and Ava, that I loved the most in the world.

It was so hot, even in my bathing suit I was still uncomfortable, and Hope was like a little heater in my arms. Babies are hot, it's a mammal thing, I read about it.

"It's boiling," Tara whined, but she smiled brightly anyway when Phil came from behind and pulled her to him. This was the only Fourth of July in La Push that I could remember being sunny and hot, but that's not exciting for me, I hate summer and I don't like heat unless it comes from Solace.

He wouldn't be here today, I knew that. I stopped hoping to see him at pack meals or parties a long time ago. He said it was because they didn't like him, but how could they not? Solace was my most favorite person on the planet and not just because he was the handsomest person I ever seen, but because he was also the goodest.

It makes him sad that people don't like him. He says he doesn't care but I know he does, I just know. I like having him all to myself though, every night that I don't have dance class, I can spend with him. I already quit tap class so I could have an extra night of the week with him; I didn't miss it. Sometimes I miss nights with my family, painting with Harley and Mama or watching movies with daddy and Addison, but whenever the sun goes down I can't stop myself from running upstairs and locking my door. We don't do much, not really, he climbs into my window and helps me with homework or just talks to me, but it's my favorite time of day. I look forward to it more than I look forward to my birthday or even Christmas.

Only my sister Harley and my best friend Chloe know about it, and they both had to double pinkie swear they wouldn't tell. Harley was pissed, but she gets pissed a lot so I wasn't taking it too seriously, and she wouldn't tell on me anyways because I had way too much dirt on her. I mean, it was also sorta sweet 'cuz she was looking out for me, but Solace wouldn't hurt me.

I'm not stupid, I've seen all those shows where kids get snatched and end up in cabins or in someone's basement with a guy that wears trucker hats and has a big beer belly—Solace wouldn't hurt me though, I don't know how I know, I just know.

Chloe backed me up about Solace, her step-dad Phil brought him over all the time. It was so unfair they got to see him whenever they wanted. He babysat them sometimes and if Tara and Phil trusted him, it was good enough for me.

"She likes you," Ava announced turning her body so that Eli could read her lips as she spoke. Eli and Ava were best friends and she always made sure he didn't miss anything because he was deaf. Whenever she spoke around him, it was slow and loud so he could read her lips. In town, the kids made fun of her for talking like that or for signing but she didn't care and neither did I.

"I like her too," I cooed. My mom swooped in and scooped her up as I stood, too hot to sit still anymore. There was a feeling, I don't know what it means but there was a feeling when he was around, so I didn't need Ava to scream his name before I knew he was there.

"Solace!" Ava howled, hopping up and down and he made his way across the sand.

"Solace," I breathed too quiet for anyone to hear, but he did. His head whipped up and his eyes met mine for less than a second before he looked away, it made my stomach drop. He never looked away from me when we were alone together.

"Come on, Maddox," my mom grabbed me, passing baby Hope to Melody. Melody was the only girl wolf in the pack, and her imprint Taylor was my first crush ever. He's still really cute… but no one can compete with Solace.

"Mom," I pulled my arm trying to free myself but she just held me tighter. Ava ran to Solace, opening and closing her hands until he picked her up. He never picked me up, the only time we touched was when I did it.

"Come on, Maddie, let's help with the fireworks," my mom's voice was high pitched and weird. My dad came to the rescue pulling me into his arms and holding me so that my head was over his shoulder and I could watch Solace.

"Your mom can't know you know him, Precious," he whispered in my ear giving me a huge kiss on the cheek before taking me over to Jared and Kim, who were busy setting up the fireworks down the beach.

"Daddy, you know?" I whispered holding his face between each of my hands. When we did this, he knew it had to be a secret, it was a Me-and-Daddy thing.

"We'll talk about it tonight, okay?" I nodded and for the rest of the night, he held me, letting me watch Solace from afar. Ava, Chloe, Eli, they were lucky. They all hung on him and I was forced to watch, sweaty and jealous, why couldn't he hold me?

Before he left, Solace did a little bow towards me and disappeared. I wasn't sure if he would come by my room tonight and it made me sad, but if he did, I would be with Daddy; we made an appointment and I wanted to keep it.

Solace doesn't come too late and he doesn't spend the night. I want him to, I want to wake up with him and make him breakfast. It wasn't because he's cute, but he is, it's just, sometimes, I don't think he eats, but every time I ask him to stay, he says he can't. He doesn't like to be too close to me because it's not "correct." I like to touch him, he's warm and he feels nice, but I know it makes him uncomfortable so I don't, not often. But why could Ava and Chloe hug him? What was wrong with me?

He lets me hug him but he never starts it and he doesn't hug me back, he just stays stiff and waits for me to let go.

"It's not appropriate for an old man to sleep in your bed, remember that for when you're an adult." I'd heard that many times in the last year.

When we got home my mom put my little sister, Harley, and six-year old brother, Addison, to bed while Daddy sat with me on the porch swing. I don't have a bedtime anymore, which made is easier for Solace to spend time with me. Me and mommy fought about it for so long that my favorite auntie Kim had to come to my rescue. All of Kim's children had no bedtime after they were ten, it's supposed to teach me responsibility but it was just a way for me to stay up with Solace until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

"Dad, why?" I started. He was the first adult I could talk to about it and I wasn't waiting for him to start.

"Why, what?" He asked, placing my hand in his.

"Why can't he be my friend? Why doesn't he hug me? Why does mommy hate him?" I was whining, I don't know why, I wanted to talk like a big girl but I felt like crying.

"He is your friend… it's just complicated right now with your mother. This is something you're going to have to learn early. We as a pack are family, but sometimes that family has battles and tense relationships, do you understand?" He asked bringing my hand to his mouth to kiss it repeatedly.

"Like Uncle Mark and Trisha?"I asked, tears welling over and pouring down my face. He glanced down at me in shock then nodded his head yes. Listening in on adult conversation has given me a lot of information about the pack and wolf-girls but Solace was like a bad word or something, they never even said his name, and I know because I've listened harder since I met him.

"Yes, like Mark and Trisha, and it's better for us to not get in the middle of it," he said waiting for me to respond. That was so fucking stupid!

"That's so damn stupid dad, Solace didn't do anything!"

"Maddox," he scolded with a big secret smile. Daddy doesn't care if I swear during our secret meetings, not usually.

"He didn't!"

"Your mother and he had… a bit of a misunderstanding, she doesn't trust him," he elaborated.

"Do you?" If Daddy said he didn't, that might change things. He was the smartest man I knew and he would have to know what was right.

"If I didn't trust him, I wouldn't let him stay with you. He's not bad, Maddie, he's just a mess. Sometimes people, adults, they don't know how to take care of themselves, and it's hard to trust them with our most special little ones when they can't take care of themselves can you understand that?" He asked rocking the swing.

"But I'm not a little girl. I can take care of him," I insisted. He was my brother, my very best friend; if they let me see him I could make sure he ate everyday and always got eight hours of sleep.

"Baby, that's not your job. He's an adult, he needs to do it on his own," Daddy moved to dry my tears but I shook my head angrily. Why was she making him do this? He needed help, everyone needs help sometimes.

"What does he need to do? I'll make him do it. He'll do it if I ask him to, Daddy." My dad chuckled, I like his laugh, it comes thick from his belly and his eyes always get smaller, but this was the least funny thing in the world.

"Hmmm what would your mom approve of? Well he needs to go to work, he buy furniture for his house and take care of his body. Your mom… she's good friends with the other moms, she needs to see him being a grown-up… and he should start patrolling with the pack again," my dad listed but I had to stop him.

"He does patrol, he watches all the houses with retired wolf-daddies." As soon as the words passed my lips, I realized they were wrong. I never thought about it before because I was too interested in Solace, but that didn't make sense. "Why does he do that Daddy?"

"He didn't tell you why?" Daddy sounded shocked, and nothing ever shocked Daddy.

"No. Why would he patrol just our houses and not the rest La Push? And why is it a secret?" Everything seemed like a secret in the pack, I hated it.

"Maddox, everyone has their secrets, when Solace wants to tell you about it he will."

What if he never did? I don't know why, I can't explain it other than saying I love him, but not knowing everything about him hurt. I wanted to be with him all day, every day, and hear about every part of his life from when he was a baby until he climbed into my window, especially the Amber part. Why weren't they married, why did she hurt him and would he ever be better? This must be love, right? These feelings must be love.

"Daddy, I love him," I pouted, my chest hurt from trying to keep myself from crying.

"You should tell him that, I'm sure he'd like to hear it. Come on, he's waiting for you," Daddy announced, picking me up. The night got colder and Daddy's warm chest felt good, but Solace would feel better.

"Why is she crying?" My mom asked stopping us on the way to my room. I was so close, so close to Solace that it started to hurt.

"She's just tired," Daddy said taking my down the hallway closer to my Solace.

"How much of that did you hear?" Daddy whispered as soon as the door to my room was closed behind us. Solace came out of the corner, where it was dark, I hadn't seen him there but I felt him.

"The last part," Solace said stiffly, watching me cry.

My father said something in Quileute, he was from the old generation when they still learned at school, we didn't anymore so I didn't understand and that made me cry harder. Solace nodded twice before he spoke, his eyes on me.

"It's not like that." He talked to daddy but looked only at me.

"It will be." Daddy gave me a kiss on the cheek and with a sigh he put me in Solace's arms, which I had been straining to reach from the second he put them out for me.

"It's late, Maddie, I can't stay long so you have to stop, okay? Everything will be alright," he murmured in my ear as he sat on my bed. My bed is the biggest thing in my room, a big circle flower in the middle, big enough for Solace to lie on and bring me down with him, my whole body curled on top of his chest.

"I-I love you, so you can't h-hold Ava," I cried hiccupping painfully.

"Breathe, Maddie, please," he sounded scared and it scared me so I took his advice. I unfurled, lying across his chest like he was a mattress and wrapping my arms around my chest, breathing hard until I stopped hiccuping.

"A-all better," I whispered and he giggled flipping us over so we were lying on our sides, facing each other.

"I've gotta go now, Madd," he whispered turning to go but I attached myself to his arm so he couldn't.

"No, I didn't tell you yet! You have to be an adult Solace, Daddy said so," I pleaded as he moved to remove my grip.

"What?" Solace stopped fighting with me, rolling back on the bed and pulling me closer this time.

"If you want to be my friend, Mommy wants you to clean your house and be a good wolf," I said seriously, this was usually how I got him to stay longer.

"Okay."

"Okay?" I squealed wrapping my arms as far around him as I could.

"Yes, if that would make you happy," he whispered pressing his lips, which he had never placed anywhere near me, against my cheek. It was perfect, better than I could have imagined.

"I love you, Solace." I yawned putting my face into his neck which was the best smelling part on his body.

"Let's sleep, okay, Beautiful?" The bright red blush that always crossed my face when he called me 'Beautiful' made my cheeks hot, but he didn't notice. He didn't move to leave, he just settled in, taking off his shoes and covering me with a sheet before he clicked the lights off. The first night of hundreds we'd spend together.

Endnote: Before you ask, Quil told Solace that he didn't like lying to Claire and he was doing this for Maddie so never break her heart... something along these lines.