The Hardest Game
Chapter 4
A day later, Tate and I were in my room. He had helped me unpack most of my things and we bonded for the most part. He met my brother Michael. He likes Michael. Tate then left to go home.
He hugged me as we sat on top of the roof. I felt comfortable with him. I never made friends easy, but with Tate it just was. The way he felt, his body molded to mine, was ecstatic. He told me of his sister, she had Down syndrome. He told me of his brother, he has respitory problems. He told me he wants me to meet them some day. I said I would like that. I shivered slightly, from the adrenaline that pulsed through me as we naturally grabbed each others hands. He blushed, as I did. But he smiled.
Oh my… I like this boy. Its no surprise, the first guy I make friends with on my own, I should have an attraction to, right?
I got butterflies looking into his eyes, so dramatic. So compelling. So real. "What are you thinking about?" I whispered as he turned his head towards the stars.
"We could like each other you know. I can tell, you have been hurt before. By who, I don't know, but I will protect you. I will be here for you if you need me. I hope you feel the same. You should be happy. Like how you are when you first saw your castle we sit on. We could like each other if it made us happy. I don't know why, but I have like a 6th sense for these things. You were unhappy before you came here, even if you can't realize it, this place won't make you happy. You will make it happy. In return you wil be happy. I could make you happy. I could give you everything. If I am moving too fast, tell me, because if you want me to go away, leave you alone, just say it." We then proceeded to sit in silence.
I liked his way of thinking.
-Next day-
Rape, no, that's not what happened… it was more… I slapped on a smile for Tate and asked him if he was ready to go exploring. "Sure. Whatever you want. Hey, why don't we play a little game?" He said smiling slightly. "Okay what game?" I said. "Its like a treasure hunt, ."He paused while speaking and looked at me "We would be looking for shit from the old family. Like up in the attic, or down in the basement…" He closed the space in-between us trailing his fingers up towards my face. His touch was electric and his eyes were glistening. I thought he was about to kiss when he parted his lips, ever so slightly. No, I don't know you. His head shot up. "Violet?" He was looking out to my doorway. I spin around to see who he was talking to, almost loosing my footing.
A lass, about fourteen or so, stood in my entrance arms crossed. She had auburn eyes, and a pale complexion, more pastel than Tate's, but more or less the same. Her blonde straight hair curled at the ends, inward towards her face. She wore, rather swam in a blue shirt tucked into a paisley maxi skirt. She looked annoyed and I imaged her as Tate's sister. Rather hoped.
She stepped into the room breaking her glare with Tate, and started to gaze at my bookshelf. I was getting angry that no one was telling me who she was or why she was here, "Who are you? How did you get in my house." I demanded. Tate put a hand on me. She held a hand out "I'm Violet, like Tate said. I'm his ex-girlfriend. I used to live here." One question answered. Tate let go and pulled her aside from me, whispering to her "What are you doing here? First the yard, now actually speaking to her?" He glanced at me, I crossed my arm.
Two people, I don't know, in my new room, whispering, one lived here, "Whats going on?" I said irritated. They emerged from there secret circle. "Nothing, Violet was just leaving." He said putting space in-between Violet and I. "I think you should leave." I said to Tate. "yeah Violet leave." He retorted. She rolled her eyes. "You should really lock your front door. Someone could break in and kill you yah know. Or even worse, steal all your food, FATTIE." I snorted. She did not just front on my territory. She did not just call me fat. Am I fat?
One cold November morning 14 year old Annabelle looked out her window. It was snowing; her favorite thing besides sailing and violins, but even that couldn't make her happy. She looked to the mirror. Atop her bed she stood, looking down to her mirror, staring at her body. Tracing the outline, mentally comparing herself to other girls her age. She was taller, had bigger thighs then most girls her age, She wasn't fat, just not model material. She wore a size 11 at the time and she thought that was too big.
Tears fell down her face as she raced to the bathroom. 'One problem after another,' she said. 'But this one I can fix.' She heaved up everything by pressing her finger to the back of her throat. THIS HURTS. She thought. She kept going. Finished, she flushed the toilet and looked in the mirror. Her face was red and puffy, and the thought of fat was slowly becoming a thing of the past. Soon she would have the body she wanted, the one everyone else had. She just had to keep it a secret, tucked away in the vaults of her lies, she hid it.
This bitch needs to learn. Anger pulsed through me as I forgot all common sense. Tate was telling Violet to leave when I broke out into full on yelling. I am not fat, I am not fat,
I am not fat, I am not fat. I AM NOT FAT. "I AM not fat. I'm surprised you can even stand on those toothpicks you consider legs! Listen here, VIOLET. I don't know why you came in here but: Get the HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
Violet stayed where she stood. Tate looked at me bewildered then almost happy, happy that I just yelled at his ex-girlfriend. "Where's the self-conscious girl I met this morning?" Violet rolled her eyes and excavated my room. Before Tate could come closer to me again, I pulled him to my bed. He gave me a crazed look "I normally make you buy me dinner before we-" I smacked his arm. I sat down and said "Where did you come from." I was expecting down the street, but instead I got a worried look. "You figured it out that quickly?" He sat down next to me, taking my hand in his. This boy is moving WAAAY to fast for me. I paused, "I'm sorry?" He then started to tell something, crazy and unbelievable.
"I feel I can trust you, and you should trust me too. My name is Tate Langdon. Sound familiar?" I shook my head.
"I used to live here. With my mother and two siblings, Addie and Beau." I waited for him to go on. Finally some answers. He stood up and moved around my bed uncomfortable. He stood at the end of my bed and rested his hand on my bedframe.
"They are both dead." My mouth dropped open. The question of how seems to personal to ask.
"Before my sister died, I killed some people at my school. I also set my mom's boyfriend on fire. It's a filthy world we live in. It's a filthy goddamn helpless world, and honestly… I felt like I am helping to take them away from the shit and the piss and the vomit that run in the streets. I am helping to take them somewhere clean and kind. It was genocide, and at an unprecedented level. I know it was wrong. So wrong beyond wrong, and I have paid for what I did."
What.
What?
WHAT?
My hands started to shake. He is crazy. He killed people? Are you serious? "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?" he rushed to me and put his hand on my mouth, I tried to pull him off and as I tried he said "I'm dead. I died here right in this house! That girl you just met, Violet? She died here too. Lots of people died here. This is murder house. You need to go, escape while you can." He became gentle with me as I struggled. I fought him as hard as I could. He won though. He held my wrists with one hand, and covered my mouth with the other. He pulled me into a hug. I wanted out. As soon as he let go of my mouth after I bit him I started to yell. "BULLSHIT! YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZ- !" He cut me off by kissing me. I struggled against him. His lips were urgent, needy, yet soft and enjoyable at the same time.
I finally fell. I started falling, head over heels, for this boy. One kiss, three days, and I am in love. Literature, movies, people, songs, artists, feelings. We talked so much yesterday. In the yard, in my room, on the roof. He showed me how to get up, I thought it was strange since I didn't even know we had a terrace. But he showed me. Without realizing it, I fell in love. I knew it from the moment he touched me. The moment he held me in a hug to calm me. Crazy, or not, I wanted him. But the lying needs to stop if he actually wants to be with me. Making up crazy shit like this won't fly with me. I feel so wrong, human and flawed, liking him the way I do. Loving him rather. I feel in love, and didn't realize it.
But he needs to stop. I need time to rationalize. My first kiss, with a boy who is a physco path.
When he broke from the kiss I immediately started yelling at him and hitting him harder. "WHAT THE HELL TATE! GET HELP!" I threw my pillows at him. He was lucky my family was out rug shopping.
"ANNABELLE STOP!" He yelled backing towards my door.
"GET OUT! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GET OUT! GO AWAY TATE!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, my asthma started to get me.
My lungs closed, the last thing I saw was an empty doorway. All I could hear was my heavy breathing and the thump of my head hitting the floor. Followed by pain to add to my asthma attack.