Disclaimer:I do not own NGE.
A/N:Not a crossover!!
Ritsuko's office
"Now THAT'S gay", said Kaoru.
"Considering that Misato is a man, I would say that this is VERY gay.But if Misato was a woman, like his name implies.It wouldn't be that gay.But it still would be a tiny bit gay seeing as how Misato has been a man all his life, and even if he was turned into a woman we would still remember the old Misato by calling him a him instead of a her, even if he now was in fact, a woman", said Ritsuko."And vice versa".
-hint hint-
"Fucking FINALLY!That's what's been bothering us!Our genders have been switched around!Misato WAS a woman, just like I was a boy, Asuka a girl, Kaoru a boy...well, sort of, and Rei a girl!!", yelled Shinji.
"Huh?That's impossible.But that would explain your names.Hmmn?Maybe if time and space itself was damag-"
"Don't even try to explain it to them.They won't listen, I tried already", said Kaoru.
"Then to make it more understandable.I believe you all came from a similar universe where only your genders were different".
"That can't possibly be the only thing that changed.What about commander Ikari?He's totally different now", said Asuka.
"Well, maybe many things have changed for you guys, but I was already in this universe.So the only thing that's changed around here, is the way you guys are".
"Unless we find a way to return to our universe-gulp-We'll have to adapt to our new bodies", said Shinji.
"You hear that fagface?Now that you're a girl you have a good reason to like dick", said Asuka through a big grin.
"Well that may be, but, (kicks Asuka in the nuts) at least I have a way to hurt you now", said Kaoru though an even bigger grin.
-Asuka falls to the floor-
"I guess being a man can't be too hard", said Misato.
"What about me!!It's gonna be super hard being a girl!!", yelled Shinji.
"Shinji, this is like, every boy's dream.Now that you're a girl you can do all sorts of things to yourself", said Kaji as he put an arm around Shinji."ALL sorts of things ".
"I-I never thought about that", said Shinji with a blush.
"Same goes for Asuka and Rei.Now that you're boys, you can experience the wonderful world, of oral sex", said Kaji.
"A-awsome", grunted Asuka from the floor.
"Kaji!That's highly inap-"
-Bell rings-
"Saved by the bell", said Kaji as he dashed out of the office.
"What's the bell for?", asked Misato.
"Huh?You don't know?That bell is the end shift bell", said Ritsuko.
"WHAT!!We get off work at (looks at watch) 4:00 in the afternoon!!", yelled Misato in disbelief.
"Uh, duh.We alwa-Oh yeah I forgot that you guys are from a-You know what?Let me take you guys on a tour of NERV to see if anything else if different".
Around NERV
"This is the NERV 5 star restaurant, which sits right under the NERV 5 star hotel and resort", said Ritsuko as they walked by a HUGE restaurant.
"What!!Why the hell does NERV need a fucking restaurant and hotel?!", asked Misato.
"Well.How else are we supposed to get extra money?We can't rely on the government for EVERYTHING.If we did, they might get tired of giving money to us, and they'll probably send wave after wave of men to take us down".
"R-really?Then thank god we got sent here", said Shinji with a sigh.
"That means that the people in our NERV are going to die...", said Rei in monotone.
"Rei, what the hell is wrong with you?You're so quiet and unemotional.You used to be so happy and full of life", said Ritsuko conserned.
"I have always been this way".
"I don't know what commander Ikari did to you in your universe, but it must've been bad".
"Hmmn?Something doesn't feel right", thought Kaoru.
At another area in NERV
"And through these doors (opens doors) is NERV's very own mall!".
"Oh my goddess!!This place is huge!", exclaimed Misato."What do you sell here?".
"Everything from shoes to cars to Eva action figures".
"Wait?Eva action figures?Why would you sell those?Evangelions are supposed to be top secret", said Asuka.
"Huh?Why would we keep them a secret?They save the world, people love you guys.You're like heroes to them.Even if you haven't actually fought any angels".
"What did you say?", asked Shinji.
"Nothing nothing!".
"Hey, how come that store over there is selling hentai figures of me and Shinji?", asked Kaoru.
"Well, some people love you a little too much".
"B-but we're underaged".
"This is Japan.Our most famous porn star is only 11 years old.Do you think being 14 is gonna matter?".
"This place is fucked up", said Kaoru.
At yet ANOTHER area in NERV
"This is NERV's hospital.As you can see, it is very big and provides us with 10 star health care".
"Ooooh, that's a lot of stars", said Misato."In our NERV, the hospital's so cheap that they can't cure a simple runny nose".
"Your universe was a piece of shit".
"Well that may be, but something still doesn't seem right to me", said Kaoru.
At the Eva cages
"Here are the Evas.I'm sure nothing is different here, correct?".
"Well, yeah.Nothing's different here", said Misato.
"Good, because up ahead in the custimization room-"
"Custimization room?The hell is that?", asked Asuka.
"It's the room where you can custimize your Eva, plug suits, wepons, and buy new parts for your Eva".
"DUDE!!YES!!That's awsome!", yelled Shinji in joy."Fuck our old universe this one is WAY better!".
"What's even better about custimization is that you can up-grade your Eva to a new more powerful model.And if your Eva gets destroyed, or if you don't have one, you can just get another one.And no, this area is NOT open for the public".
"Woah.I agree with Shinji.This place is much better than our old universe.But still, hmmn?", said Kaoru.
Back at Ritsuko's office
"Well guys, I hope you enjoyed the tour.But I din't get to show you everything.So, any questions?".
"Um, how many angels have we faught so far?Because in our universe, we've already faught like (counts fingers) 15 angels", said Shinji.
"Fifteen!Damn!We've only faced two angels so far".
"WHAT!!YOU MEAN WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALL AGAIN!!", yelled Shinji in anger.
"Well, not exactly.He he.You see-gulp-There's more than 15, way more.And the first two came together, so we asume that the remaining angels will come in partners as well-"
"NOOOOO!!", yelled Shinji as fell down and started crying.
"I knew this place was to good to be true", said Kaoru with a depressed voice.
"Great!Just fucking great!What else are you gonna tell us!That Godzilla and Gamera are real and we're gonna have to fight them too!!", yelled Asuka in fury.
"Uh?..-"
"Oh my god!!They exsist here!!", yelled Asuka wide eyed.
"Um, not just them, but also a few other monsters", said Ritsuko nervously.
"How the fuck do they exsist!!", yelled Misato.
"Well, some time ago.Some crazy scientist guy created them because he loved the movies so much.If he had created them like in the movies, the Evas could easily defeat them.But, he made them super strong.So model after model of Eva has been made fight them".
"This universe is fucking retarded!If this was some type of fanfic, it would lead me to believe it was some type of crossover with Godzilla and Gamera.But then the writter would assure his readers that it's not a crossover with Godzilla and Gamera, and that he just included those monsters as a way to make the story longer and funnier!", yelled Shinji.
"Wh-what?The hell did you say?That little speach you made, has absolutely NOTHING to do with what we were talking about", said Asuka."You're just fucking stupid".
"I don't know what came over me.I'm sorry".
-BOOM!!-
A/N:Not a crossover!!By the way, if you don't know who Gamera is.Just search him up.