It's been a long day for him and he's more than happy to settle down with Sawyer to watch a film. Despite Peyton's belief that he doesn't discipline her he has taken away her cell phone and grounded her. Then again he doesn't really think that she wants to go anywhere anyway. He glances over at her snuggled up with a cushion and blanket over her, eyes staring intently at the screen with a bowl of popcorn resting on her legs he smiles. Despite all the mistakes in his life he can't bring himself to regret a single one – they all brought him to this point. They gave him his beautiful daughter and he would not give her up for anything. But soon he would have to. He had tried his best to ignore the truth since Peyton had told him, but fact was when Peyton married Mark and they moved with his job Sawyer would no longer be here. And he would love her just the same but she would be less of his daughter and he would be less of a father to her just because she wouldn't be near him. The times he'd lost her over the years had always proved difficult, but it was a comfort to him now that she actively sought his company.

"You do know that you'll be sticking to your mom's curfew of ten a.m. don't you?" His heart was heavy when he said it, knowing that Sawyer would pull away from him at the reminder.

"I could just not go back, like stay with you permanently." She didn't look at him but he knew there would be hope in her eyes to match the tone of her voice. And he wished he could say yes. But despite the lack of any warmth between him and Peyton the strained relationship his ex wife and daughter had he couldn't take Sawyer away from Peyton.

"I know you don't want to move, but it is going to happen. Your mom thinks that given all the trouble you've been in here it's best to make a fresh start."

"First time I shoplifted mom told me she'd done it when she was younger and it wasn't such a big deal so long as I didn't do it again. Mom really hates you you know." It was more of a statement than a true question. But Lucas did already know that Peyton hated him. She was a far cry for the girl he'd fallen in love with, but then he was probably as far removed from the boy she'd fallen in love with as she was from her former self. "I've never really got it, she left you. But now I think I understand. Maybe I hated her and it should have been you, so please don't lie when I ask you this – did you have an affair with mom's old friend? The one I'm named after." Lucas sighed deeply, he didn't know whether he'd ever actually planned on telling Sawyer why he and her mother had broken up. He still wasn't completely certain he knew himself. Apart from the obvious, he always felt there was more, at least for Peyton.

"I might as well have done. Sawyer your mom was adorable and in high school I finally spoke to her. What I never counted on was the fact she'd run away from me, and I would enjoy spending time with her flighty best friend. But that's what happened. I was an ass to both of them, turning your mom into the 'other woman' while I was with Brooke. But somehow we all got past it and we were friends. Then I fell in love for the first time – and it was with Brooke. Brooke never was really able to trust me when it came to your mom, eventually she walked away. She cut herself off from me and your mom and our friendship grew in that time. I didn't realise that your mom was in love with me, but when she finally told me Brooke gave us her blessing and that was that. Your mom and I grew apart after high school and there were years we went without seeing each other, then when she came back I was engaged to someone else. But she still loved me and wanted to make sure I was certain of what I was doing. Eventually Lindsey left me, said that I was meant for your mom. It took a while but I finally agreed with what everyone else said and your mom and I got married and had you. I loved your mom Sawyer and I would never have left her or you for anything. But when Brooke was leaving town to go be with Julian I realised I still loved her too and I went and told her. Later when she was getting married I made the mistake of telling your mom how I felt. Despite the fact I loved your mom, loving them both was not something she could deal with and that's why she left me."

"That's an awful lot for a thirteen year old to take in."

"I'm sorry. I ruined everything, for Brooke, your mom, you and even Haley and Nate got caught in the crossfire."

"The way it is in movies and books if you love someone you can't love anyone else at the same time." Lucas smiled at her softly.

"I know, and even I write it that way. But the truth for me is that Brooke and your mom are at polar opposite ends of the scale I don't think there is anything similar about them. When I fell in love with Brooke there was only her. But when I fell in love with your mom Brooke was already in my heart."

"But you must have loved mom more to marry her." Lucas considered this carefully. There was most certainly a time he imagined having what he had with Peyton with Brooke, marrying her and having children with her. He also remembered their 'plan' for their future together the night they celebrated his novel being published in New York when they were just 19. It might have been Peyton's ring on her finger but as they spoke he could see that future so clearly. And again when she had Angie, it had felt so like the three of them were a family. Yet just days later he was in Vegas planning to marry Peyton. Looking back the lunacy of it all struck him.

"Sawyer your mom and I just fit better than Brooke and I did. With Brooke it was constantly a fight to make it work and I guess loving each other wasn't enough."

"You look sad when you talk about her, think if you and mom had never got back together and got married and then divorced you'd be sad when you talked about her too?"

"Sawyer relationships are complicated. I don't honestly know what would have happened. But fact is they are both happy with their lives, they both met the person they want to be with. Everything else is in the past."

"But it's not in the past is it Lucas? Unless by past you mean a matter of months ago when you told her to stay and that you loved her." Peyton leaving had snapped him from his depression over Brooke leaving and her impending marriage. Peyton coming back was a blessing – until she'd told him she wanted a divorce.

"Peyton I said I loved her, but she and I both knew I would never leave you and Sawyer." Peyton's pained green eyes met his and she looked so utterly defeated.

"Lucas would you leave me?" He began to shake his head.

"Peyton I just said…" She held her hand up to cut him off.

"You said you'd never leave me and Sawyer. But that wasn't what I asked. See everything from the last 8 years has been going round in my head and the question that I keep coming up against is this – what if Brooke didn't let you go? See I walked away Jake despite loving him because I loved you more. I wanted to be with you. I came back to Tree Hill for you, and though it makes me seem like an awful person I knew I could get Lindsey to leave because of all people she knew what we meant to each other. Only now I wonder did I even know what we meant to each other? You keep saying to Brooke, yourself, probably Haley and to me that you love us both, but you'd never leave me. The problem is Sawyer comes into that. And I have to know if you'd known how I felt about you and Brooke hadn't walked away and given us her blessing would we have seen high school out together? Would you have proposed to her and not me at the age of 19? Or even if when we both came back and Lindsey had gone and you were together all the time with Angie, if she'd said she wanted that with you would I be the one who went to Vegas with you? Will you never leave because you love me more, or because we have Sawyer together and you won't be Dan?" He wanted to give her the answer she needed to stay – but the problem was she knew when he was lying.

"If I knew how you felt in high school when I was with Brooke no, if she hadn't left me I don't think you and I would have ended high school together. I don't know if I would have proposed to her when we were 19." He neglected to mention that a considerable crowd of people in New York believed he had done just that. "If we'd stayed together we might have been the new Naley, or we might have burned out. I can't answer that Peyton." She nodded her head along with him, either processing his words or merely accepting that her suspicions were correct.

"And if she'd fought for you when Angie was here?"

"Peyton I called you to marry me in Vegas."

"But did you call me because no one else would do, or because you didn't think she'd come?" He had considered calling all three women that night, Brooke included. True she may well have dropped everything to join him in Vegas – but as a friend who was suffering and needed time away from Tree Hill, not as a potential bride. It was on the tip of his tongue to say he'd called her because he knew she'd come. But those were not the words that would allow him to keep his wife.

"I called you Peyton because I wanted you to marry me." She walked slowly over to the mantel and reached out to trace the lines of their happy smiling faces in their wedding photo.

"That was the happiest day of my life, all my dreams came that day. I think I wanted to be your wife since I was 16, before I admitted it, before anything even happened. You were strong and smart and sexy, you seemed to get me like no one else. You became my best friend overnight. And that day I became Mrs Peyton Scott, I was carrying your child. Life was just perfect. Trouble is life is never perfect Lucas. Mrs Peyton Elizabeth Scott…Mrs Brooke Penelope Scott. Which do you think sounds better?" He stepped closer to her, hearing her tears rather than seeing them. His hands came to rest on her shoulders but he was too scared to face her.

"I think Mrs Peyton Scott sounds real. Peyton I can't lie to you and say she was never there. I can't say won't always be there because I loved her and I will always love her. But you're my wife, you're my family, my home." Tears began to fall softly from his eyes as he felt he was loosing this fight.

"You were so confused back then about why she just walked out your life, it's been 7 years in coming Lucas but here is why she left: she loved you more than she could handle because when it came down to it she knew if she stayed she'd spend forever thinking she was second best. She would live her life wondering when you'd walk away because you realised she wasn't enough." His throat closed up as Peyton spoke. His voice a hoarse whisper when he finally managed to respond.

"You're not just talking about Brooke are you?" A strangled sob escaped her lips and she turned leaving her wrapped in his arms, her head pressed against his chest while she clung to him. He felt like she was hanging on for dear life.

"No Lucas I'm not just talking about Brooke." He held her tighter than he thought was possible, knowing in his heart it would be the last time.

"Doesn't it matter that I love you?"

"You don't love me enough, not while she's still in your heart. I can never know whether you'd be with her right now if she'd fought as hard I did, or even fought at all. Lucas Eugene Scott I never thought I would leave you, I didn't know I could. But now it feels I don't have a choice. Now I know how I made Brooke feel, how I made Lindsey feel. I understand just how heartbroken they were to walk away from you, to feel like they were ripping their own heart out and leaving it with you. To feel desolate and know they'll love like they loved with you. All because you can't live your life feeling like you're second choice." Her voice finally broke and the tears replaced her words. Still they clung together, neither willing to end the moment. But both knowing it would.

"Do you still love her?" Lucas smiled at his daughter with knowledge that only years can bring.

"Sawyer it's not possible to love someone when you don't know them, and after ten years with no contact it's safe to say I don't know Brooke Davis anymore, or Baker as she is now. Yes she was my first love and I'll always love her in a way because of that and I do still care about her and wish her only good things. But that was all a long time ago. People move on."

Lucas pulled up outside Peyton's house at 9:50 the following morning, Sawyer sat sulkily beside him, despite her newfound knowledge of why her parents were not on good terms she still harboured ill will towards her mother and a definite reluctance to return home. Peyton was waiting at the open door when the car stopped and was up and over to them before he'd ever applied the parking brake. She opened the car door to let Sawyer out. The moody teen unbuckled her belt and lowered her head, refusing to look at her mother. Peyton's attention was rooted on Lucas anyway.

"Sawyer you need to go to your room. I have to talk to your dad a minute." Sawyer's head shot up.

"He said I'm grounded and took my cell so don't give out to him about not disciplining me." Peyton shook her head.

"Sawyer I need to talk to him, it's about discipline. I just need to talk to him." The way she sounded filled him with apprehension. He unbuckled his seat belt and got out the car, Sawyer followed his lead and he locked the car before making his way to Peyton's door. His hand rested on Sawyer's shoulder for minute.

"Just go straight to your room honey, I'll come say bye before I go." A look was shared between father and daughter before she disappeared leaving Lucas and Peyton alone.

"Can we call a truce for 5 minutes?" Her words did nothing to allay the growing worry within him. Maybe she was about to inform him they'd be moving sooner than planned. He just nodded not trusting his voice. "Haley stopped by yesterday, while she was here Brooke called. I don't…Brooke didn't really say much. She sounded even from where I was standing hysterical almost, a police officer took the phone. Lucas there's been an accident." His heart contracted at the words.

"Is she okay?" He was unable to stop the words coming out his mouth, unable also to read the look that passed across Peyton's face.

"It wasn't that kind of accident. There was a problem with a plane."

"You mean the one from New York. I saw it on the news. It was flying from JFK to LAX right?" Peyton slowly nodded her head and realisation began to dawn on him.

"They suspect some mechanical failure, crashed soon after take off." She didn't need to say the words for him to know what was next. He began to slowly shake his head.

"No, no Peyton." She nodded her head sadly and tears were in her eyes.

"Haley flew to LA this morning. Nathan and Jamie are joining her tomorrow." Lucas began to pace the narrow confines of Peyton's living room. "I called your mom already, I figured she'd need to know as soon as possible to arrange a flight."

"Yeah Peyton she'd want to be there. So assuming we can make our truce last a little longer considering, should we fly out with Nathan and Jamie do you think? Or maybe we should leave Sawyer with Mark, you think that's a better idea?"

"Actually Lucas, I'm not going." He pulled up short from his pacing and stared disbelievingly into her face.

"You're not going?"

"Well given the last decade I think it would be hypocritical of me to go."

"Well the last decade has been no different for me yet I wouldn't dream of not going."

"We both know it's different for you."

"Yeah it is, I have a heart." Leaving her with that stinging barb he marched across to Sawyer's room. He bid her farewell, and in response to her plea to tell him what was wrong all he managed to choke out was to ask her mother.