An update, you are not dreaming. And yes, I am terrible at keeping schedules.

Soorry for those who were waiting for a quick update (they're few, so I don't feel too guilty 8D)

Aaand good reading to those who will! : ]

"Doodoodoo"

Sasuke arched one eyebrow at the phone in his hand, glaring at it so fiercely it would probably melt. (Even his phone was fangirling about him, surely, and gosh why did he personify his phone now of all times?).

Still, he didn't understand what was going on. The phone light was biting his eyes and sleepiness was begging him to ignore 'The Idiot' and to bury his face into his pillow again. And to let his perfect dream about being the World Wide Tomato King continue.

But… Nah, one does not ignore his idiot… even though the idiot texts you so fucking late it is actually early.

So Sasuke did the colossal (Titan! … ha ha ha) effort to reply, concisely still but Naruto should've known normal human beings slept at that time of the night. Well yeah, Sasuke wasn't so normal sleep wise but that was NOT the point!

"what?"

He waited some seconds that felt like hours, and then his eyes decided it was enough already, and he crashed.

… Only to be woken ten minutes later by another irritating message from his sweetly irritating idiot.

"im wztchin dun yo draw"

… Yup. … What.

"what the fuck, naruto?"

And three minutes later, he was again fast asleep and nothing but his alarm decided to interrupt his dreams, at, at least, godly hours – 7 AM – when his mind was functional. He didn't really remember the weird nocturnal texts until late that same morning, when Naruto sent him yet another Text. A normal one, thank god, the idiot's brain didn't end up unusable.

"Hey hey hey Sass!"

He glared yet again at his still-fangirling phone, and drank his whole cup of café latte in one row of irritated gulps, under the slightly surprised stare of Hinata, who chose to let it slide and return to explaining basic trigonometry to the hopeless Kiba.

Well, Sasuke was as useful as a green plant in this situation, because even though he knew of that thing since he was thirteen years old, he was the worst teacher you could find on earth.

Because no one was worthy of the little patience he had. … But maybe Naruto could be an exception.

"Good morning. What was up yesterday night..?"

Waiting for his friend's speedy reply – Naruto was stunningly fast, really. – Sasuke let his gaze slide on the few people using the café they usually studied in as a shelter from the winter bite. And Sasuke wondered; was it cold where Naruto was? … How was it, there? Maybe he should ask. But there was no reason to, really.

His uninterested eyes finally returned to his phone, landing on a "New Reply" notice.

"sorry, I just saw that. I was drunk."

Well that explained a lot. Had Sasuke not been much traumatized at the idea of alcohol and the like, he would've found it pretty amusing.

"wow. Just wow." He replied, smiling a little bit and checking no one saw that. Because no one should. His smiles weren't others' to see.

… He kind of liked the idea that they were exclusively Naruto's. But… But he wouldn't admit that. To anyone. Hardly to himself.

Yes, Sasuke was as tsundere as you could get; but what can we do, really? Another reply made his phone tremble between his fingers.

"... Sorry, sass. doodoodoo at 5am looked like a suuuuper good idea..."

He couldn't help but let out a little snicker, then a laugh, which he suppressed firmly when noticing the shocked stares his friends were giving him.

And no, he was ABSOLUTENY NOT blushing. Not even slightly. Hinata smiled a knowing smile, making him cringe because no, she didn't know anything! And Shino's mouth wouldn't shut, so Sasuke hoped a fly would land in there for the sake of it being cliché. And it was Shino, after all.

« Stop looking at me. » he warned, trying to look composed, then chose to ignore the teasing that soon came on Kiba's end, to instead reply to his idiot. His amusing idiot.

"fuck why do you make me laugh I don't want to laugh and everyone is watching me weirdly. Fuuck."

He then stood up from his chair, explaining vaguely that he was going to buy some croissant… Yes, he was fleeing, because he seriously did not want to argue with them about not having a girlfriend. And no, Hinata, not even a boyfriend, let me be for god's sake.
While he waited in the line, he kept his head down, staring at his phone for an answer and not wishing to make eye contact with any human being at the moment… because no, the cute waitress eyeing him wasn't interesting in the slightest.

"so sorry, your ever grumpy face must hurt~"

Oh, and then there was this guy texting him and Sasuke didn't know if he was annoyed or amused.

"your hungover head must too" he replied, replacing a sadistic smile with a charming one while politely asking for the double-chocolate croissant. Yes, he felt like having some extra calories today. And why not?

"why did you remind me I hate youuuu my brain is gonna exploode"

"Do you even have one? And what about the 'drawing' part?"

He took a bite of the sweet pastry, returning silently to his chair without any of his friends noticing. Taking out his copybook from his bag, he took a pencil and started doodling.

"mystery. We'll have to investigate" replied Naruto, making him roll his eyes.

"investigating your exploding brain won't be the easiest of things"

The little sketch of a little fox was taking form on the sheet of paper, and maybe, just maybe, he would call that fox Naruto.

Some hours, three fainting fangirls – no, not even exaggerating – and countless glares later, Sasuke was in class.

« …And thus, that thing there and this thing here make this thing here but in orange, and I am not going to say why because that's what I'll ask on the exam, so, let's watch the thing and be proud of the wonders of science-… »

He shut off his hearing after trying to understand a teacher being a bad teacher. Or a jerk. Or whatever really, Sasuke didn't care, he knew all about digestion or whatever…. Wait, that thing wasn't digestion? What was he doing here, for heaven's sake?

Boring. Absolutely boring.

The only thing he could think about was going home. Maybe eating something. And just lazing around. Oh, heaven.

He also felt eyes on the back of his skull, but would not dare (or care, really) to turn around. Those people still didn't understand he wasn't interested. Seriously, they had to be blind. And deaf. And everything. They were dead bodies trying to flirt with him.

Zombie apocalypse.

Vibration.

He felt his heart jump, and tried to calm himself down. Why he was so jumpy, god only knew.

What he knew was that there could be only one person that would text him. Well, he didn't give his phone number to random strangers anyway.

"Whatcha doing Saseme?"

Oh, a new surname. Naruto seemed to like those. Well, he would forgive him anyway, as it was Naruto, and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Good evening. In class. What the heck did you do to my name?" Send.

Hey, he was grumpy, so he had to show that through words. Of course he wasn't always grumpy. But he liked being able to vent that to someone instead of keeping the cool façade and fuming on the inside. Though he didn't fancy being see-through to others. Ah, what a complicated life he led. Bzz.

His eyes landed on the teacher who was too busy trying to explain something he didn't know himself.

Okay, safe to look at the phone.

"... I think it's best if you don't ask. It's a bit creepy."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow at the answer, then wrote down on his otherwise useless notebook:

Sasuke Saseme (?) Creepy

His fingers tapped on the tactile surface of the phone, as quick as they had learned to be after years of practicing.

"Then why did you call me that, if it's creepy?"

Someone coughed. Another person did. Sasuke figured it was nervous. Or else someone was carrying some sickness and he kept in mind to not approach anyone.

Not that he would anyway.

"I spent too much time with the girls. I need brain washing."

So it had some link to girls. Weird. Naruto spent time with girls. Not so weird. But maybe Sasuke just wanted him to spend time with him instead.

… Sasuke let his forehead land silently on his desk, as he cursed himself mentally for being such a possessive bastard.

For having such emotions.

"I don't get half of what you are saying, you blond"

He didn't get whole of what the guy on the front was saying, so Naruto was way more interesting. In every possible way. If you see what I mean.

Sasuke doesn't.

"Well i AM blond so yeah. I mean, physically."

He couldn't help but let yet another snicker pass the barrier of his perfect – mind you – mouth. He quickly added some coughs, covering his up tilting lips and hoping the look on Hinata's face wasn't one of amusement, as his eyes met hers. Tssk, girls and their instincts.

His glare returned to the phone in hands.

… Well there was an interesting information there. Sasuke mindlessly wrote 'Naruto is blond' on his notebook, before feeling a little bit stalker-ish. He crossed out the sentence multiple times, as if it was a secret no one else's eyes may land on.

"Do you have to make me laugh randomly? My reputation is deteriorating because of you!" was his answer, as he omitted the new information his mind held dear. He could picture Naruto better, wasn't that cool?

"Where is the problem in laughing?" said the phone, "Get that stick off your pretty ass, emo-guy!"

He was not emo, for god's sake. Not in the slightest. Fuck anyone who said otherwise. … Fuck everyone and see if he cared.

… No believe him, he wasn't emo. ~

"I'd lend it to you, you'd probably need it." He tapped, ignoring as always the details that did not suit him.

He didn't want to debate on that. And then, bzz again, and Sasuke shamelessly decided to use his phone with less discreetness because the teacher was as bad at seeing as he was bad at teaching.

"Oh. Oh yeah. Of course, Sasuke, i need your stick up my ass~"

Sasuke paused as his cheeks turned pink and his heart jumped in his ribcage. Naruto. That moron. How was he supposed to react to that, huh?

"... I didn't mean that. You perv." He sent, keeping himself from pouting because anyone could see him.

"HAHA it was clever right, right? I'm so proud!"

"It was perverted, not clever, you moron."

"... Totally told you I spent way too long with the girls."

"Spending time with girls makes you sound gayer than gay, then."

"Well, yes..?"

"Unless you ARE gay."

"My battery is dying!"

"You little liar. Know that I don't mind, though."

"I didn't say anything about being gay!"

"Wasn't your battery dying? You are too obvious for your own sake."

".. It IS! On the way. Of dying. Kind of. I guess."

"Stupid."

"Meanie."

"Shut up."

"Not talking."

"You battery is not dying, right?"

"It is, it is, see, dead, boom."

"… Stupid."

"… Meanie."

Needless to say, Sasuke had never laughed that hard in class. Or anywhere, in fact. That day became a legend, as no one figured what exactly had caused the outbreak of joy in the national emo-boy.

Oh, well, as if he'd share his new discovery with anyone.

Naruto was gay. And terribly, utterly adorable.