Chapter 4 – Alex comes too

Two weeks later

Meredith had spent the last 2 weeks barely existing, she had rarely left her room, had taken to eating in her room (if she was hungry) when Cristina and Alex where in work and had spent hours rereading the letter from William in a desperate attempt to remain close to him.

His Mom rang at least once a day, she was fond of Meredith and found solace in speaking to her...but Meredith did find her hard work, as she dodged around the subject of her son, and bombarded her with questions of her new surroundings. Meredith knew she meant well, she was adorable, really, but it was hard to help someone else deal with their grief when she had no clue how to deal with her own.

'Mer...Mer...Meredith' Cristina bawled up the stairs trying to get her friends attention, and failing...

Ignoring Cristina's call, Meredith sat on the bed, that she had almost got comfortable in these last 2 weeks, and breathed a heavy sigh...tomorrow her 'house' would be ready, she would move out of Cristina's and into this overly big house that had been one of the few things available when she first decided a clean break to Seattle was needed. Everyone had said it was a good idea, a new place, a new city, a new start...but now the day loomed like a dark thunder cloud casting its evil shadows over the land!

Meredith's thoughts were interrupted as Cristina burst through the door and Meredith jumped with the shock...

.'Crap, don't you knock Cristina, you scared me.' Meredith exhaled deeply as she placed her wedding photograph back onto the bedside table beside her

'Sorry, I was calling you, I didn't know if you were home.' Cristina replied, her eyes falling on the photograph as Meredith straightened it so she could see it from where she was sitting.

'Home...' Meredith couldn't finish the sentence as a lump formed in her throat and the tears threatened to fall, instantly Cristina was next to her on the bed and scooped her up as best as she could into her arms and let her cry.

'Sssshhh, don't cry Mer, you can do this, we can do this, you can get through all of this, I know it.' Cristina said reassuringly

'I...I...its...I...cant...' Meredith struggled to finish her sentence as Cristina took her face in her hands looked into her best friends eyes

'Please talk to me Mer, there is no judging here, I'm your person, no matter if you've said it all before.' Cristina wiped the tears from Meredith's face as she began to play with the wedding ring, twisting the band round and round in circles, something Cristina had noticed that Meredith did a lot.

Meredith took a deep breath and new that Cristina meant every word...

'Home, home is supposed to be where the people you love are, when you have worked a 100 hour week you go home to the people you love and they make everything better, they make every little thing that ruined your day disappear, because they love you and they are your home. Tomorrow I'm supposed to move into a new home, just like that, a new home with no memories; no personal things that make me, me, and more importantly no one to share it with! 4 bedrooms, 2 studies and 3 bathrooms – all for me! How am I going to want to go home when there is no one there who loves me, waiting for me after a hellish day in work?'

Meredith took a deep breath before continuing.

'Instead I'm going to go to a house at 3 in the morning, freezing, aching, lonely and climb into an empty cold bed with no one to talk to, hold me, make me feel better, wearing a wedding ring that is practically falling off my finger, and then a few short hours later when the alarm sounds and rounds have arrived, I'm going to walk downstairs, to an empty kitchen, no coffee already on the go, no pancakes bubbling away, no debates over the latest news in the paper...it's just going to be me.'

Meredith looked up, her eyes meeting with Cristina's once again, trying to read what Cristina was thinking

'That's not a home Cristina, it's not a home.'

Cristina looked at Meredith in disbelief, not disbelief for what she was saying, but an amazed disbelief that Meredith was opening up to her, it had taken a while, but right now, in this moment Meredith was making a few small steps in dealing with her grief, and in a crazy kind of way, Cristina was proud.

'You sure didn't forget how to ramble Mer' Cristina chuckled trying to lighten the mood a little but soon stopped as she saw the seriousness remain on Meredith's face.

'It's not a joke Cristina' Meredith sobbed

'I know I'm sorry, I wish they had a smaller place for you, I really do, it seems crazy, you get this huge house to roam around in, where as when I was looking I ended up in this match box of a house with hardly enough room to even swing a cat in...

'Move in with me' Meredith interrupted as she sat up on the bed and held onto Cristina's hands,

'You said it yourself this place is tiny, I've got all these rooms, all this space to move into, come with me, move in with me...'

Cristina looked up and realised Meredith was serious, she really wanted to do this. Cristina looked around the small room that Meredith has lived in the last 2 weeks and began to realise something, Meredith was right, a home had people, and things and memories, and love. As much as she had enjoyed living here, she realised that really this house meant nothing to her, it wasn't a home, after all she was hardly ever here, for her the hospital was her home, her sanctuary.

A small smile spread across her face and Meredith tried to work out what Cristina was thinking

'This isn't my home' Cristina began

Meredith looked on confused

'You're right; a home needs people, memories, love...none of that is here, not really...'

'So what are you saying Cristina.

'I'm saying, yes, I'll move in with you...but I'm keeping this house too, ill rent it out or something'

Meredith leapt across the bed and threw her arms back around her best friend

'Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

And for the first time in a long time Cristina saw what could be a genuine smile on Meredith's face

'I just have one condition' Cristina said with a mischievous grin on her face

'Anything'

'Alex comes too, he is to proud to admit it Mer, but I think he is living in his car! But if you ask him, how will he be able to say no! This way I get to keep an eye on the two people I care about most in the world.'

'But Mer...'

'Yeah'

'You get that I'm untidy right? You have seen this place; I'm hard work...no yelling ok...'

'I've asked you now, I'm not going to go back on it...but you will try...won't you?'

'Urm, yeah...trust me...' she laughed

Meredith agreed straight away, and as they hugged once more, Meredith began to wonder where the hard faced, unemotional cardio resident had gone...Cristina seemed...human...and she was exactly the kind of person Meredith needed even if she was as untidy as a spotty, hormonal teenager!