Disclaimer: ah nope, don't own LOTR either. Or The Hobbit. Sigh. Nor do I own Martin Freeman, for that matter, though he is brilliant.
A/N: Well here we are! On to Middle Earth! This chapter is longer because honestly, it's probably my favorite one.
Read away!
Middle Earth - Bilbo
"Middle Earth?" the Doctor questioned incredulously.
"It'll work, right, Sarah?"
"It should."
The two girls nodded with certainty as they agreed. The Doctor raised his eyes to the sky. The pair grew more confusing by the second. First Sherlock Holmes, now Middle Earth?
"Like, Lord of the Rings?" he continued.
They nodded, heads bobbing.
He shook his own head. "Might as well give it a try," he murmured, "And I will not be surprised if it works. In fact," he changed his statement, all the while piloting his ship, "I'm almost counting on it to work." He pointed at them, "You two don't make any sense."
Their lips spread in broad smiles. "I don't think we're supposed to," Sarah said cheerfully.
The TARDIS rocked for a moment, throwing them around, before coming to a stop. He still had his dirty, cream-colored trainer up on the console and Ashlyn stuck her foot up beside his. She had the same shoes, only they were kept squeaky clean. He stared down at their matching shoes, frowning and nearly going cross-eyed in his examination of confusion. She smiled creepily at him. Sarah put red high-top trainers up on the other side, also smiling rather creepily at him. His mouth floundered for a moment, eyes darting between them, until he just shook his head and put his foot down.
He turned on the scanner; they crowded around him to see what it showed outside. The TARDIS seemed to be parked in a clump of bushes, so there wasn't much to see. Ashlyn and Sarah, naturally, took the incentive to be the ones to venture out the door. The Doctor protested, "Don't wander off! Wait!" he hollered. "Oh, every time!" he moaned as they bolted out the door. "I always say don't wander off—don't leave the TARDIS until its safe…" Donna rolled her eyes.
"They're excited!" she said as they quickly followed the girls.
He pushed brambles from his face, climbing free of the bushes surrounding them. He spit leaves from his lips, looking disgruntled. "They could get hurt!" he exclaimed, "There are a handful of creatures out there, and they could run in to any one of them! Here, I'm practically useless. All I've got is a screwdriver. That won't work on, on—" he stuttered and gestured to the leafy green nature around them. "Against goblins and-and—"
"Wood?" Donna suggested. He glared at her so she changed her suggestion: "Orcs?"
The Doctor swallowed and nodded, trying not to show fear. "Well, yeah. Lord of the Rings fan, Donna?" he asked in passing. "I can't believe we're in Middle Earth. These girls are-are impossible—it doesn't make any sense!" he stopped, groaning. There was no sign of the girls. "What did I say, I said don't wander off—that's always the first thing I try to tell them, and what's the first thing they do? They wander off!" he shook his head, "Every time… Sarah! Ashlyn!"
"Girls!" Donna said loudly.
Pushing through the tangled bushes, they finally found the pair. They were spying on a group of what appeared to be dwarves—and a tall, gray-bearded man with a staff. The Doctor pointed, "Its Gandalf! Are we in The Hobbit?" he smiled.
"Shhh!" Sarah and Ashlyn hushed him.
He made a wounded face. The girls waved him off. "We're just going to follow them for a while!" Sarah whispered, "We won't get too far."
"Fine, but don't interfere!" the Doctor replied, jabbing his finger at them. "Stay out of trouble, you hear me? Back at the TARDIS in an hour!"
They waved them away distractedly. "Sure, sure, Doc," Ashlyn said. She smiled at him before turning back to watch the questing group. Ashlyn and Sarah exchanged open-mouthed expressions of happiness. "Oh my heavens, he's so beautiful," Ashlyn hissed.
"So beautiful!" agreed Sarah, "It feels weird saying it because he's right behind us." They giggled quietly. "We're so creepy, Sherlock!"
"That's okay," Ashlyn replied. They laughed. "I'm surprised we haven't exploded yet." They resumed their contagious laughter.
The Doctor and Donna returned, resigned, to the TARDIS to wait, which probably wasn't the smartest idea. Donna had the same thought. "Is it smart to leave them out there alone?" she asked him quietly, glancing back at them. They were giggling to themselves.
"I can train the scanner on them," he replied with a grin. "I'll know what they're up to. I need to dig up an old tool of mine before we follow them around Middle Earth."
Ashlyn and Sarah crouched behind the tree; they had been watching them move, for the most part. Creepy, maybe, but what more could they do? At least, that was what they thought before—now they had a plan. Roughly. It was probably a bad idea, but it was also an excellent idea. In their minds it was, anyway.
"Ready?" Ashlyn hissed
Sarah took a deep breath, held it, and then slowly let it out. "Ready!" she agreed.
They took off, yelling: "Gandalf! Gandalf!"
The thirteen dwarves, the Hobbit and the Wizard all turned in surprise. Gandalf frowned. "Yes?" he asked slowly. The two strange girls ran towards him at full speed. The dwarves picked up their weapons, but Gandalf motioned for them to lower their tools. The pair was unarmed. They halted in front of him and doubled over, panting, as if they had come a long way. The brunette held out a piece of paper; Gandalf studied it closely, smoke gusting out of his long pipe. After reading it, he examined them with his ancient eyes. They seemed to look up at him with a sort of awe. "We'll be leaving shortly," he informed them, motioning to the part of dwarves and the Hobbit.
They nodded. "Five minutes," the blonde said.
His head dipped in apparent agreement, "Bilbo!"
Bilbo frowned and moved forward hesitantly. The girls were giving him weird looks. Gandalf handed him the paper and motioned to him while looking at the girls. Bilbo went to read it—the two girls stepped closer to him and he looked up. "Can I—?"
"Go!" the blonde one said emphatically.
They bent over, each taking a side, and hauled him over their shoulders. They proceeded to run.
It took the dwarves a moment to react—they were non-pulsed by the sudden actions of the pair of girls. With a battle cry, the dwarves snatched their weapons up and charged after them.
"Why do you sit and watch as they carry him away?" Thorin demanded of Gandalf.
He pointed after them with his pipe. "They asked to borrow him."
Thorin sprinted after them with the other dwarves. "We'll bring him back!" one of the girls yelled. "Promise!" they cried together.
Bilbo, from his perspective, bumped and racked between them, balanced precariously on their shoulders. The dwarves were screaming their battle cries as they followed the girls in a hoard of angry, dirty creatures. Bilbo, confused and unworried, read over the paper they had given Gandalf.
"Dear Gandalf…" he read slowly to himself through his bumpy ride. "We know you're a powerful Wizard and could probably… stop, us if we did not ask for your permission. We would like to borrow Bilbo…" his eyebrows rose, "For a few minutes… we'll return him unharmed before you continue on your way." He pursed his lips, considering, murmuring: "Sounds fair enough…" Gandalf wouldn't have let them run off with him if he wasn't confident they could get him back.
He waved the dwarves off. "It's alright! We'll just be a minute!"
"Yeah!" agreed one girl quickly, shouting breathily.
"We're just borrowing him!" cried the other.
All thirteen dwarves, confused, came to a stop and let the girls scurry off with their burglar. "Bilbo?" called Kili. Unsure of what to do, the dwarves remained where they were, unmoving.
"They're not following anymore," Bilbo informed them, "Could I maybe walk now?"
They halted and, gently, put him back on the ground. He dusted himself off. "Thank you," he said with great dignity, briskly. "Now, what's all this about?"
"Well…" the darker haired one started.
"We wanted to meet you…" said the blonde. She smiled. "We're, er, admirers."
For a moment, Bilbo said nothing. He shifted his hairy feet. Then: "Admirers?" two heads bobbed, grinning. "Why?" he asked suspiciously.
They shared a glance. "Multiple reasons," said the dark-haired girl. "But they don't matter. We have a few… requests for you, Bilbo, if you don't mind."
They seated themselves on a log. Bilbo joined them so that they were now at equal height. "Requests? What kind of requests?"
"Nothing much," said the blonde. She held out her hand. "I'm Sarah, and this is Ashlyn."
He shook their hands and the darker haired girl, Ashlyn, spoke. "For one, we would like you to, ah, sign some things for us."
"Sign?"
"Yes," Sarah said. She held out a dark colored, folded paper which, unknown to Bilbo, had his face on it. "Sign that portion there, please." He did so and repeated the process with Ashlyn. They were about to voice their last requests when a lone orc stumbled around a tree. It didn't spot them immediately—its back was to them. They shrank back in fear.
"Bilbo," Sarah said under her breath. "Use the sword while its back is turned!"
Shocked, cowering little Bilbo silently moved forward. Sting slithered from its scabbard. The orc turned. Quickly and clumsily, Bilbo stuck his sword through it. The ugly creature fell to the ground with a piercing cry. Further back, more orcs could be heard—Sting was glowing blue.
Bilbo stood frozen in a panicky fear, unsure what to do. Ashlyn and Sarah jumped forward and seized him by the arms, picking him up and carrying him away in an awkward, scampering lope. He's adorable! Sarah mouthed to Ashlyn as they ran for their lives.
Ashlyn didn't have the breath to respond, but she completely agreed. All she could do was nod.
As they neared the dwarves, they set Bilbo on his feet so he could maintain his dignity. For a moment, he fumbled with Sting in his grip. Sarah gladly took his sword and she and Ashlyn each grabbed one of his hands to get him moving. "Orcs!" the trio cried together. "An orc pack is coming!"
The dwarves turned. "What?" Thorin demanded. "Did you—"
"No, Thorin," Bilbo defended them quickly as they halted before them, "They didn't set us up. They saved my life back there."
The group of dirty dwarves glanced between the girls. Thorin nodded his thanks. "Then you have my gratitude."
The breathless pair waved it off. "You might want to get ready," Sarah said. "We heard an orc pack."
"Who are you two?" Balin questioned them.
Bilbo introduced them. "This is Sarah and Ashlyn." The dwarves nodded in acknowledgment. Ashlyn saluted tiredly at her name. Sarah waved a hand and bobbed her head.
"While we'd love to stay and help you fight a pack of orcs," Ashlyn said, "I'm pretty sure you can handle it. We would just get in the way."
The Doctor exploded through a clump of bushes with a sword in his hand. He glared at them. "What did I tell you about interfering?" he roared.
The dwarves automatically raised their weapons, but Sarah frantically waved her hands to soothe them. "He's a friend!" she exclaimed, "He came looking for us."
"Sorry, Doc," Ashlyn said shamefacedly.
The orc pack was drawing nearer. The Doctor strode forward; he looked quite heroic in his blue pinstripe suit, carrying a sword. And attractive. "Come on, you two," he said, pointing the tip of his sword at them, "We're going back to the TARDIS. Now."
The sound of the orcs was drawing nearer. The Doctor ushered the girls back, and they tugged Bilbo with them. Behind the dwarves, Sarah stuck Bilbo's sword point first in the ground for a moment. She and Ashlyn bent down and, one on either side, kissed his cheeks. His face colored. "Last request," Sarah said, "A hug."
Nearly kneeling, she hugged him. He returned the embrace hesitantly at first. "Thanks, Bilbo," she said cheerfully. She stood.
Ashlyn got down and embraced him tightly. "Bye, Bilbo." She stuck Sting back in his hand. "Good luck."
The Doctor waved them ahead of him. He smiled, "Good luck, Bilbo Baggins!" The girls waved happily at him. The Doctor pointed with his sword, "Allons-y!"
"Goodbye," Bilbo waved.
Sarah and Ashlyn sprinted through trees and bushes with the Doctor on their tail, sword waving wildly. "Go faster!"
They picked up the pace, sprinting hard. The Doctor's long legs carried him past them. A wandering orc ran, squawking, into their path. The Doctor cut him down quickly. Another minute of tiring sprinting and they arrived at the TARDIS, diving inside and almost falling to the floor. The Doctor quickly jumped the TARDIS forward with a hard jolt. Ashlyn and Sarah fell to the floor at the movement. Donna, in the seat beside the console, managed to stay upright.
The girls sat on the floor of the TARDIS, breathing hard. After a moment, they looked at each other, grinning goofily. "That was fun!"
So? Thoughts, ConCrit, etc – Review, dear readers!
I honestly love Bilbo. I can't watch him get all demonic in LOTR anymore. It hurts!
You know what to do – tell me what you think! REVIEW! (:
-Anevay