Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga, nor "Stairway to Heaven"

- - - - - -

Theres a lady who's sure
All that glitters is gold
And shes buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and shes buying a stairway to heaven.

Theres a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook
Theres a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiving.

-Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin

- - - - - -

Bella Swan's Point of View

"Faster, my man whore!" I called angrily, arms crossed over chest and foot tapping impatiently.

Edward was huffing while trying to drag my backpack, his, and our biology project to my front porch. Dammit, why was he so slow?!

"You know...your neighbors...might get...the wrong idea..." He said between gasps. Well, we had walked home, but...

"C'mon, you can do better than that!"

"Suck it, Swan!"

"...So, Mr. James, this is one of the many notes that Edward Cullen has been-"

"Shut up."

This had become a regular argument in the week or so we'd known each other. I slowly found myself spending all my free time with him. Because he was fun. Yeah. That's right.

"Just keep telling yourself that!" Edward finally reached me as I had already begun unlocking the front door. "We all know you think I'm sexy as hell."

"Sexy as hell? A dirty diaper, maybe..."

"Ah, shut up."

"You seriously need to think of better comebacks." I commented after a moment, swinging the screen door open and striding in. I let gravity slam that very same door in Cullen's face. But he still loyally joined me minutes later in my bedroom.

"Where's your dad, anyways?" He questioned, looking around for a place to sit. I was already sprawled out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Work? Lots of adults do that. Forks unemployment rate is only two percent. So...about six people in this town don't work."

"Not too good at math, are you?" Edward asked in a smug, amused tone. That tone irritated me to no end.

"I'm excellent at it, actually. So go jump off a cliff." I shot back, annoyed. If only I could shoot bullets instead of words...

"Don't make me clip your wings, Swan."

"Try me, Cullen."

There was a long silence as I turned to look at him and we just watched each other for awhile. It was weird...not bad weird, good weird. "Aliens coming to Earth and sharing their otherworldly knowledge with us" weird.

Edward finally broke the silence, that bastard. "We should get to work. Now what's this I hear about orchids?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing he did that on purpose to break the 'moment.' His flushed cheeks were a dead giveaway. "Whatever, Edward, you're the second best in the class, figure it out."

"I was first, but then someone had to come up with an evolution debate that would leave Richard Dawkins in awe." Dammit, now he was going to try and distract me with flattery?! Well, fine. I'll take the bait.

"And don't you forget it. Now, you were right for once, let's get to work."

- - - - -

Hours later, while we were organizing when we both had time to go to the store (Erm...well, Edward and I were both more than willing to clear our schedules...), Charlie burst into the room, all smiles.

"Hey, Bella! What do you want for dinner? I was thinking maybe we could order some-"

His cut off voice? That was when dear old dad spotted Edward Cullen sprawled out next to me on the floor.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! I THOUGHT THERE WAS ONE RULE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD! NO BOYFRIENDS! WHATSOEVER! THAT ESPECIALLY INCLUDES THE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL! HOW COULD YOU INVITE THAT DAMN BITCHES SON..." This is where I stop listening, for Charlie's eyes were darting around (most likely looking for a gun) now. Goodness, I hope he's not mad. Edward nicely covered up his snort at my thoughts.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!" Charlie yelled out, his voice cracking with hoarseness. Hrm, how to answer that?

"Not at all." Honesty is the best policy, as they say. So Charlie ranted on for a few minutes, meanwhile Edward and I exchanged looks. Some of fear. Some of ignorance. Some of irritation. But mostly, just boredness. If that's a word. And I'm pretty sure it's not.

Finally, Charlie stopped to take a breath, and I decided to intervene. "Dad, we're not going out or anything. I'd just as soon die. But he's my friend, and we're working on a school project together." Soothing voice? Check.

"...Oh."

There was silence for a long while. "Awkward..." I sang under my breath.

"Well, um, you two kids have fun, and, um..." Charlie rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh yeah! You'd better keep this damn door open!"

"It was open, Dad."

Not having a response to that, Charlie made his escape immaturely. I think he only let Edward stay here not because of the school project or the friend thing. He probably was assured by the "I'd just as soon die" thing.

"Soooooooo...." I dragged out the word, looking back over to Edward. "What problem does he have with your mom?"

Edward shrugged and turned his attention back to the paper. But I could tell his next words concealed a fierce anger. "He's most likely pissed because she sometimes helps solve cases with the police. Esme enlists our help too. I mean, the kids of the family. Me, Alice. Jasper helps a bunch too." He was rambling, trying to calm down. I sat up fully, resting one hand on his shoulder. "Sorry about that. He'll come around." I murmered softly, a nicer side of me coming out.

Edward blushed and shrugged my shoulder off. "Whatever. To work we go."

I sighed inwardly, clicking my emotional settings back to 'bitch'.

- - - - - -

"God, Edward! Could you be any slower?!" I growled impatiently as he was gathering all of his bullshit.

"Yeah, sure, I'll be done in just a-" His reply was cut off by Charlie, who appeared as if out of thin air. Usually he wasn't the picture of stealthy, so this surprised me.

"Cullen. Front porch. I'd like to discuss a matter with you in private." And with that he left us quite bewildered and watching his retreating back.

Author's Note: Sorry for the long gap between updates. I had writers block, and just thirty minutes ago got over it and came up with this WONDERFUL ending to a WONDERFUL chapter. All will be revealed next time. Be prepared.