Disclaimer: I own two characters plus a few possible others. If I had wrote LotR it would be terrible, and no one (except my two wonderful reviewers, you guys get cyber cake AND cyber cookies later) would ever read it. Man, that's depressing. Oh well, here's the story.

"We too will come."

Elrond nodded, saying,

"Well then, there shall be eleven walkers, eleven against the nine. And you shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."

About a week of frantic preparations later, Simon and I were packing. Our nice robes had disappeared, and in there place were heavy, practical and warm-looking clothes. Simon held up a quiver full of arrows.

"Check it out. I've got something like 40 arrows in here."

"Simon, this is a last ditch effort to stop Sauron. I think they want us to be as prepared as they can make us."

"True. I like your sword."

It had been hanging off the wardrobe door when we came in. Being the first to see it I claimed it. I won't go into much detail, although I do need to describe it partially, for accuracy's sake. It was about four and a half feet long, about as big as I could handle, and styled much like the sword Aragorn had in LotR before he got Anduril(in the movie, that is). Come to think of it, it could've been that one, Aragorn was after all using Anduril (One thing the book got right, but the movie didn't). Or it could just be a random sword. Who knows?

"I wonder where our leathers went." Simon said, about five minutes later.

"Yeah, it'd be really good to find out where they are." I glanced around, half heartedly, knowing that we wouldn't be able to find them. Rivendell is massive. We managed to get lost for about eight hours last time we tried to find our leathers. That was a very weird day.

After a while we got hungry so we entered the warren of hallways leading eventually to the Great Hall. It only about 20 minutes, which was a record for us so we had gotten quite hungry. We grabbed plates and loaded them up with slices of the various pies (meat pies and fruit pies), cakes and puddings. A little unhealthy, I know, but we were going to be trekking on little more than bread, dried fruit and meat, and other such marvellous food. We found a couple of seats and sat down. When we were about halfway through our piles someone sat down beside us.

"Hi!!1! Im lyke Arwengaladrieleowynbuffy Lookitsyourfavoritecelebrity Von Doomssister imsooooobeautifulandimthegreatestintheworld. Whats yer name?" the speaker was an extraordinarily beautiful young woman. Her hair shimmered like water reflecting moonlight as it subtly shifted from colour to colour. Her eyes, a deep pearl-like blue, sat in a perfect face, which sat upon a long, elegant neck. Her revealing gown was at the same time perfectly modest. It curved along her gyawebtkln. Zxhjv

Sorry about that, the Sue began to take over.

Needless to say, it was a Mary Sue, the most dreaded of all creatures known to canon abiding people.

"Uh, I'm 'Fred'." I replied, searching my mind for how to non-violently destroy Sues. Slicing off her head and then dismembering the body would attract too much attention, and Simon and I would have to explain. She would then have some back-story which meant that the Canon characters would believe that she was meant to be there. Shame really. Dismembering a Sue might've been fun.

"Im lyke the grate, grate, grate granddaughter of Luthien. My grate grandfather married a Dwarf woman and there daughter (my mother) married a man from Rohan. Cool aye?"

"Yeah. Say, is that a zit? In the middle of your forehead?"

She screamed and grabbed a mirror that was hanging conveniently hanging off her belt. As she found a decided lack off zit she calmed down. I prepared my next assault.

"What are you doing here?"

"Lyke, what do you mean? I, lyke live here."

"No, what are you doing here. Here in middle earth."

"Uh"

"Well?"

"Lyke, this is hard"

"And why is your hair changing colour?"

"I don't know. It's, lyke always done it"

"But why?"

"Uh" she then puffed out of existence. As the pink smoke cleared, I noticed a large Japanese sword lying on the ground. Inscribed along the pink and sequined scabbard was

"To my Darling grate, grate, grate granddaughter, Arwengaladrieleowynbuffy Lookitsyourfavoritecelebrity Von Doomssister imsooooobeautifulandimthegreatestintheworld, love from your grate, grate, grate grandmother, Luthien"

It disintegrated into a pile of pink sand when I tried to pick it up.

It was not to be our last experience with Sues, unfortunately.

Authors note: all my reviewers will get Cyber cake or cyber cookies, and will be mentioned in my next chapter. Hint hint

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