Chapter 3:

"You."

Naruto peered curiously up at the raven-haired teen addressing him. He was standing upside down on a branch, his arms crossed, while using his Chakra to stick to the tree; an impressive feat for a fresh-out-of-the-academy Genin.

As Sakura had said earlier though, he was still using too much Chakra. To truly master the exercise, he will have to be able to do it with as little Chakra as humanly possible – which, coincidently, is the point of the whole exercise.

Refining one's control over their Chakra to a point where they learn to waste as little as possible when using Ninja techniques.

"Me?" Naruto asked curiously, before realisation dawned on him. He pointed at Sasuke and elaborated in a voice that made him sound very much like a Neanderthal, "Me, Uzumaki Naruto. You, Uchiha Sasuke."

Sasuke ignored him. Dropping to the ground with a graceful flip, he approached the curious blonde man with a scrutinizing glare. Well, Naruto assumed he was being scrutinized. Either that, or that was just how Sasuke's face naturally looked. "I know you."

"Yes," Naruto nodded, patting him on the head as if Sasuke were a toddler. "I know you too."

Slapping his hand away with a scowl, Sasuke elaborated. "You're the ANBU that's always visiting my house. I recognize your voice."

"You're an ANBU?" Hideaki asked with shock. "What the hell? You're barely older than us!"

Naruto ignored Hideaki and eyed Sasuke curiously, surprised that he didn't remember him. Naruto obviously never hung around the Uchiha compound often when younger, but Sasuke often tagged along with Itachi to training when they were still on a Genin team. It may have been a long time ago, but Naruto liked to think of himself as unforgettable. "You recognise my voice, you say?"

"You're there all the time," Sasuke said darkly. "You're always there, bothering my mother, why is that? Wasn't what happened five years ago enough?"

"Wow," Naruto chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "Just when I was about to tell you how impressed I was by your keen observational skills, you put your foot in your mouth and prove that you really are just an idiot Genin."

Ignoring the boy's livid expression, he pointed at Sakura and Hideaki.

"Just like those two," the Jounin dryly stated, much to the shock of the two mentioned Genin. Sakura looked ready to blow a gasket, such was the intensity of the vein throbbing in her forehead. Hideaki, on the other hand, had his grey eyes narrowed angrily, but said nothing to refute his new Sensei and protector.

"You want to know why I'm always over at your house speaking with your mother?" Naruto asked the Uchiha rhetorically, before motioning Hideaki and Sakura over and taking a seat on the grass. "Come, you two, I have something cool to show you."

Despite her anger at the blonde Jounin, Sakura couldn't help being curious about what their new sensei wanted to show them. Hideaki, on the other hand, hesitated, and remained standing.

"This isn't a test," Naruto informed the Fire Lord's son. "If I had the option of failing you in some way, shape or form, I'd send you all back to the Academy just so I wouldn't have to deal with you." Naruto used two of his fingers to point at Sasuke and Hideaki, "Suffice it to say, that's not an option, if you know what I mean."

This statement, while calming Sasuke and assuring the arrogant Uchiha of his political dominance over the regular human being, only seemed to anger Hideaki further

"Are you gonna come and look?" Naruto asked Hideaki impatiently, removing a small booklet from his pocket. "Trust me, what I'm about to show you will change how you look at little Sasuke over there for the rest of your life."

Naruto grinned when Hideaki, albeit reluctantly, made his way over to Sakura and he. The girl sat on her knees beside him while the still mistrustful Hideaki stood at his rear, peering over his shoulder at what Naruto had in his hands. The boy seemed dubious about whether the small booklet could do what the blonde claimed it could.

Opening to the first page, Sakura and Hideaki frowned in confusion when they saw a picture of a beautiful woman carrying a basket of flowers and smiling serenely at the photographer. She wore a casual, yet pretty summer dress while tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Gorgeous, right?" Naruto asked, smirking knowingly at Sakura's envious look and Hideaki's annoyed one.

"You're a pervert too?" Hideaki asked incredulously. "First we get stuck with a moron who reads porn in public, and now this?!"

"Are you denying her beauty?" Naruto asked in a dangerously calm and eerie tone, his head tilted downwards and to the side so that his fringe cast an ominous shadow over his eyes as he addressed the boy.

The three Genin in the clearing collectively shivered at the tone of his voice.

"C-creepy," Sakura muttered with another barely suppressed shiver.

"N-no, it's not t-that," Hideaki replied, his bravado from earlier having disappeared. "I just don't s-see the point of t-this."

"Oh, well that's okay." Naruto answered brightly, his mood having made a complete one-eighty. "Let me finish showing you these pictures before you say anything – anyway, I call this one 'Happy while shopping Mikoto'."

Sasuke's eyes widened in disbelief as he started to understand what exactly it was Naruto was showing his two teammates.

Flipping the page in his book, Sakura stifled a chuckle while Hideaki raised an amused brow.

"You'd think I wouldn't like this one, but it brings me such fond memories," Naruto narrated with a content sigh. The woman, now snarling angrily, was dressed in a pink, fluffy bathrobe while brandishing a large frying pan and seemingly chasing the photographer around her living room. The picture seemed hurriedly taken, but it still captured her long, wet hair framing the same beautiful face. "I call this one 'Mikoto pissed because I walked in on her in the shower and almost saw her naked'."

Naruto sighed dreamily, recalling the mental image and the glorious amount of 'side-boob' he'd seen. The kids looked at him warily when a blush adored his features and a perverted giggle slipped out.

Sasuke, at this point, had his eyed narrowed dangerously and begun to make his way over to the group.

"If you finally don't understand why I always go over to the Uchiha's house, I think this one should make it crystal clear," Naruto exclaimed as he turned towards the back of the booklet. His grin widened at Sakura's envious gasp and Hideaki's coloured cheeks.

This time, the woman in the photo was only wearing a simple black string bikini, and a wide brimmed summer hat protecting her from the harsh Konoha Sun.

She was not alone in the photo.

Naruto stood beside her in a pair of swimming trunks, an arm wrapped around her shoulder with a large grin directed at the camera. The woman, Mikoto obviously, had her arms wrapped around his torso for the photo. She was in the process of planting a sloppy kiss on his whisker-scarred cheek.

"Her skin is so perfect," Sakura noticed in a depressed tone, bemoaning her obviously 'less-than-perfect' skin. Naruto couldn't blame her, not many could compare with the goddess in the photo. "She's got a perfect body too, and look at those thighs!" she moaned in despair, "the world's so not fair."

"What do you think Hideaki?" Naruto asked smugly. "Amazing, right?"

"You have a hot girlfriend, so what?" Hideaki asked, trying to hide his embarrassment. "I don't see what this has to do with the Uchiha."

At the mention of 'girlfriend', Sasuke's glare turned absolutely murderous.

"Oh, my stupid little friend," Naruto sighed dramatically. Yanking Hideaki down beside him on the ground, Naruto was easily able to overcome the embarrassed boy's futile struggles before throwing a friendly arm over his shoulder. "This isn't my girlfriend, as much as it saddens me to admit. This," he motioned to the picture, "is Uchiha Mikoto, otherwise known as Sasuke's mum."

Both Sakura's and Hideaki's heads snapped in Sasuke's direction instantly. Despite the fact that they'd been going to the Academy together for years, they had never actually seen Sasuke's mother. Hideaki, much to Sasuke's annoyance, couldn't help giving the raven-haired teen a somewhat respectful look.

"I call this one 'A day by the lake'," Naruto announced, drawing the three teens' attention once more. "You see, about two months ago, on Mikoto's birthday, she was sitting at home, bored out of her mind and preparing lunch for her bastard of a son when I whisked her away for a day by the lake."

"I was busy with training," Sasuke replied to the incredulous and disbelieving stares of his teammates curtly, no trace of defensiveness in his tone whatsoever. "I didn't have time for foolish things such as birthday parties."

"Busy with training?" Naruto asked in amusement. "Must be difficult to give her a kiss and tell her you love her on the way out of the house, right? Those three hours you waited for Kakashi picking your nose must have been pretty important, I imagine."

"I can't believe that's your mother," Hideaki exclaimed. Taking advantage of everyone's diverted attention to spy the photo once again. "And you, you got her to kiss you!"

"I know," Naruto said, sounding immensely pleased with himself. "I'm awesome."

"Enough!" Sasuke shouted sternly, the talk of his mother getting on his nerves. "You, stop looking at that picture!" He exclaimed angrily, pointing at Hideaki. "And you, why were you late?"

"My, my Sasuke, so demanding," Naruto chided. "But if you must know, I had a late night."

"What kind of excuse is that?!" Sakura shrieked angrily, having seemingly forgotten all about the pictures.

"Well, if you must know," Naruto began with a sigh, "I spent the majority of my evening running from a beautiful woman who would not stop chasing me until she had her wicked way with me. Fortunately, or unfortunately for me, depending on how you look at it, she passed out before she had the opportunity to do so. Then, I had to spend the rest of my night carrying her around town until I actually found her home . . . took hours, I tell you."

Silence met his proclamation, each of the Genin looking at him with different degrees of shock until Sakura finally voiced her opinion.

"Liar!"

Naruto let out a deep, depressed sigh. Why did he agree to do this again? Oh right, he didn't.

"Whatever," he said with a shake of his head. "It doesn't matter, now you know why I'm always over at Sasuke's house. It definitely helps with my assassinations," he added, with a chuckle.

His nonchalant answer was met with three equally perplexed and blank stares.

"What the hell?" Hideaki exclaimed first, breaking the silence. "How does spending time with the asshole's hot mum help you kill people?"

"Kill people?" Naruto asked with genuine surprise. "You mean to tell me you've never heard of the term 'Assassinating' before? What do they teach kids in the Academy these days, honestly?"

"I think it's obvious that we have no idea what you're talking about!" Sakura replied crossly. Being the smartest ninja in her graduating class, she valued her intelligence above all else. To be told she didn't know something was not only an insult to her intelligence, but also an insult to her pride. "And I very much doubt that you're talking about murdering people by means of a surprise attack, or for Political reasons!"

Naruto blinked owlishly at the pink-haired girl, wondering if she'd just recited the literal definition of the term to try and impress him before shaking his head and grinning slyly at the teenagers. "There's no Political reasons behind my assassinations, that would be hilarious though," he mused with a chuckle. "To assassinate, or rather, killing off my 'morning problems' and making sure to get rid of the evidence," a large grin spread across his face, however it faltered when he noticed the teens' blank stares. "Ah, you're right, it's a pretty stupid joke. Guess you had to be there . . . "

Sasuke, taking only a few moments to understand what Naruto was talking about, begun to tremble with barely suppressed rage. His fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. His once onyx eyes also flashed red before he dipped his head down and glared ferociously at the ground.

Hideaki, picking up on the crude terminology almost instantly, covered his mouth with his hand and snorted in amusement. The snort turned into quiet snickers, which then turned into loud chuckles before finally evolving into full-blown, bellyaching laughter.

Sakura still had no idea what he was talking about.

"Bastard!" Sasuke roared before whipping out a kunai from his pouch and charging Naruto, fury written all over his features.

What happened next was almost a blur to the three Genin.

Before Sasuke could even make half the distance towards Naruto, something had knocked him hard on the back of the neck and sent him crashing towards the ground. Quickly trying to regain his footing, he found that he couldn't move due to a heavy weight pushing down on his back, pinning him to the unforgiving earth.

Sakura and Hideaki stared in disbelief at the scene before them. Naruto was sitting atop of Sasuke. The boy's arms were pinned behind his back by a smiling Naruto who didn't look like he was going to let go any time soon.

Hideaki, still in a state of disbelief, gazed to his left where Naruto was still holding him in place with an arm around his shoulder.

"Shadow Clone . . ." Sakura exclaimed in awe, ignoring her crush's predicament for the moment. Seeing Hideaki's confused glance, she elaborated. "The Shadow Clone Jutsu is a ninja technique which makes a physical replica of the user out of their Chakra. Unlike the regular Clone technique where the copy is only an illusion, this one uses much more Chakra to give the clone a physical presence – it's a forbidden technique because the user must have an extremely large Chakra capacity to use it."

Hideaki looked to his new Sensei – the one by his side – with awe after Sakura's explanation. At first, he didn't think much of the young Jounin, but after such a display of speed and power, it was hard not to. Hideaki hadn't even seen Naruto use hand seals to mould the Chakra needed for the technique, which means one of two things: Naruto had made the clone before approaching them in the clearing, or he was just that good.

Hideaki wasn't quite sure of the answer quite yet.

Sakura, having finally realised that Naruto had no intention of getting up off the struggling Uchiha, finally snapped out of her awestruck state. "Hey, get off Sasuke! You're hurting him!"

Both Narutos ignored her completely; the one atop of Sasuke used his free hand to muffle a yawn while the one beside the other two Genin stared directly into the struggling boy's eyes. Where his irises were once a plain onyx, they were now a blazing crimson. Small black tomoe surrounded each pupil, two in each eye that randomly and rapidly spun around said pupils.

This was the Uchiha's famous and revered bloodline ability, the doujutsu known as the Sharingan. Its abilities earned the virtually extinct clan notoriety and scorn all across the Elemental Nations.

"You know," the Naruto beside Hideaki spoke in a conversational tone. "Your brother had a fully matured Sharingan by the time he was eight. I'm not impressed."

At the mere mention of his brother's name, Sasuke's struggles increased tenfold, such was his fury. His struggles, however, proved pointless. The clone sitting on his back may as well have been a one tonne boulder, for all the good it would have done him.

"Rule number one," the Naruto sitting beside Hideaki and Sakura spoke, gaining the Genins' attention. "Never, ever charge into a fight in anger or without a plan. A ninja must keep a level head at all times. Doing so in the field can not only get you killed, but your teammates as well."

The clone sitting on Sasuke's back disappeared in a puff of smoke, freeing Sasuke from his captive position.

"That's just one of the many rules I'll give you while we're together," Naruto explained. "If you break them . . ." Naruto trailed off, dipping his head forward so that his fringe cast an ominous shadow over his face before continuing in an eerily calm and deadly voice. "I'll break you."

The Genin felt a collective shiver run down their spines at the tone of Naruto's voice.

'This guy . . .' Hideaki thought warily.

'How can he be so cheerful at one time, and then so creepy the next?' Sakura mused to herself as the bright smile returned to Naruto's features. 'This guy's creepier than Kakashi-sensei when he's reading his porn . . .'

Sasuke said nothing. The Sharingan in his eyes faded, returning them to their original blank onyx.

"Let's get one thing clear," Naruto spoke up once more. He motioned to the forehead protectors with the metallic, leaf engraved plates that signified the Genin as Konoha ninja before continuing, "I don't care if you have forehead protectors or not. Just by looking at you I can tell you're all just a bunch of idiots that have no idea what it means to be a ninja. However," he continued, despite the glare he was receiving from all three, "I'm getting paid a shit load of money to make sure you can pass as capable ninjas sometime in the near future, and I intend to deliver, despite how hopeless the situation looks."

Naruto could tell that every word he spoke only served to anger the three Genin further, just as intended. He never had it easy as a Genin. Shit, he never had anything easy in his life. For these kids to expect otherwise was insulting.

"You're all dismissed," he waved them off and started to walk away. "Meet me here tomorrow at noon for your training."

"Noon?!" Sakura exclaimed loudly, shocked at how late they'd begin their team training. "Why the hell are we meeting so late?"

"I like to sleep in!" Naruto called out to them from over his shoulder before disappearing from the clearing in a swirl on leaves.

Sasuke, Sakura and Hideaki stared at the spot their new sensei had just disappeared from with varying emotions. Finally, Hideaki said, "At least he's honest about it, and told us he'd be late."

"Hn," Sasuke shrugged before turning around and charging at the tree he was exercising on earlier. The boy seemed to be venting his anger at the helpless tree as he continued his Chakra Control exercises.

"I don't know who's worse; Kakashi-sensei, or this 'Naruto'," Sakura exclaimed sourly before using her excellent Chakra control to easily stick to and scale the tree beside Sasuke's to watch him train.

"Uzumaki Naruto, eh?" Hideaki mused quietly, narrowing his eyes at a large tree – larger than the one Sasuke was scaling – on the other side of the clearing. "I'll show you who's an idiot."

"Is that you Naruto?!" the woman exclaimed incredulously as the grinning blonde Jounin in question plopped down on one of the stools at his favourite Ramen stand in town.

"In the flesh," he greeted before shouting into the back of the store, "Yo, old man, I'll take three beefs, make it snappy!"

"I'm on my break you ungrateful brat!" the voice hollered back with annoyance. "The gorgeous girl minding the store is there for more than just looks!"

"The gorgeous girl is otherwise occupied!" Naruto winked at the woman in question who was currently busying herself with scrubbing down the bench with a clean rag. "I know you're always tired in your old age, but you're still on the clock! Make me my Ramen!"

"You'll get old one day," the old, balding man in chef's clothing warned with a shake of his fist as he came out from the kitchen. "And when you do, I'll be laughing at your ass from heaven!"

"Well seeing as Naruto isn't getting old anytime soon, and you're not dying anytime soon either, go and make his Ramen," the pretty, brown-haired woman ordered her father, ushering him back into the kitchen.

"What happened to the youth respecting their elders these days?" the Ramen chef grumbled, mostly to himself, as he tied an apron around his waist and headed back into the kitchen. "No respect, I tell you."

Rolling her eyes, the woman leaned over the counter and planted a chaste kiss on Naruto's scarred cheek. "It's good to see your face after so long!" she gushed excitedly. "It seems like years since I've last seen it!"

"It probably has been," Naruto agreed with a smile.

"And you look so handsome now," she exclaimed while busying herself with trying to flatten out his otherwise untameable hair.

"What do you mean I look handsome now?" Naruto plastered a look of fake hurt on his face and held his heart in mock pain, "You wound me, I don't," he sniffed loudly and wiped a fake tear from his eye, "I don't think we can be friends anymore! You're too mean!"

"Oh you know what I mean, you idiot," the girl said with a roll of her eyes and a scuff to the back of his head. "Before you had the mysterious thing working for you, what, with that sexy uniform and the mask you wore all the time? Now though? Well, without the mask, you're quite handsome!"

"Oh, all right," his fake sniffing quickly ceased, only to be replaced by a huge grin. "You're forgiven, we can be friends again," Naruto relented with an over dramatic sigh. "Oh darn, look, now I'm blushing!"

The girl chuckled at his antics despite herself, she could always count on him showing up for lunch and otherwise brightening up her boring days working at the Ramen stand.

Naruto took the moment of comfortable silence to yell into the back of the store once again, "Hurry up ya geezer, I'm starving out here!"

The old chef's muffled voice thundered from within the kitchen, "You can't rush art you impudent brat!"

"Bah, this guy," Naruto shook his head before smiling at the girl again. "So, how's things Ayame?"

"Ah, you know, working, trying to learn everything my dad has to teach me," she explained nonchalantly. "Enough about me, what about you though? Doesn't that vest mean you're a Jounin level ninja now? When did that happen?"

"Ah, a long time ago actually." Naruto shrugged uncaringly. "I just got reassigned from my old job to a new one, a Jounin sensei actually."

While it was no secret to Ayame that Naruto used to work for the super secret ANBU organisation, it wasn't exactly a commonly talked about thing amongst the citizens of Konoha. The ANBU worked from the shadows and wore masks for a reason, to keep their identities a secret.

The only reason she knew that Naruto was a commander within the organisation was due to the frequent visits he still made between missions and work. While eating at your favourite restaurant in uniform wasn't exactly protocol for ANBU, it's not like he had time to change, so nobody really said anything.

ANBU commander, Chunin, Genin, it didn't matter. Naruto always came every day – unless he was out of the village – for lunch. That was something that never changed, and also something Ayame frequently looked forward to.

If there was one thing that you could always count on with Naruto, it was his near-addiction to the tasty fried noodles.

"They gave you responsibility over three children?" Ayame asked dubiously, an amused smirk showing her amusement. "What has the world come to?"

"That's what I said!" Naruto agreed with her. "I figure if I beat the crap out of them enough, and show them enough porn, that they'll realise I'm an irresponsible sensei and have me removed."

"You don't need to try anything overt like that for them to realise you're irresponsible, Naruto," Ayame replied dryly.

"Ouch!" Naruto exclaimed in mock hurt with his hands over his heart. "Heart punch, Ayame!"

Ayame grinned at Naruto's reaction as her father reappeared from the kitchen with a tray holding three bowls of Beef Ramen. Placing the bowls in front of the Jounin, waving off his words of thanks, Ayame and her father both watched, bemused, as Naruto virtually inhaled the contents of each bowl as if it would run away if he didn't quickly devour their contents. Ayame often likened placing Ramen in front of Naruto to placing fresh meat in front of a starving tiger.

It didn't last very long.

"Ah, that was awesome!" Naruto exclaimed, patting his bloated stomach in satisfaction. "Thanks Teuchi, you can go back to sleep now, the cool kids are gonna talk now."

Teuchi rolled his eyes and said before disappearing into the back of the shop, "Meal's on the house, congratulations on becoming a Jounin sensei and all that crap."

"Hah, love you too gramps!" Naruto called after the grumbling old man.

"Want a drink?" Ayame offered as Naruto cleaned his teeth out with a toothpick.

"Yeah, get me a fruit juice," Naruto requested, eyeing the humming Ramen waitress speculatively. The Ramen stand was always empty at this time of day, being right in between the lunch and dinner rushes.

It was Naruto's favourite time of day to visit.

"So," Naruto began, breaking Ayame out of her reverie. "Are you gonna tell me why you're so happy today, or am I gonna have to weasel it out of you?"

"What are you talking about?" Ayame asked with a hitch to her voice. "I'm always happy, since when do I need a reason?"

Naruto just stared at her, not deeming her question worthy of response.

Sighing, the Ramen waitress relented and spoke in a hushed voice so that her father wouldn't overhear. "I'm going on a date tonight."

The unexpected admission had the Jounin's fruit juice travelling down the wrong pipe and coughing uncontrollably. Finally, getting himself under control, he was able to ask, "Excuse me?"

Ayame frowned, "You heard what I said."

Regaining his composure, Naruto straightened and scrutinized the woman for several moments with a penetrating gaze before asking, "Name?"

"Akira." Ayame answered with a light blush. "Yoshida Akira."

"And where does this 'Akira' live?" Naruto asked curiously.

Speaking before thinking, Ayame answered. "Akira actually lives in the apartment complex next to yours . . . Naruto! Hey, where are you going?!"

Seeing Naruto vanish around the corner of the dusty street, she let out an annoyed sigh.

"This won't end well."

The girl quickly rushed to her front door, a silk bathrobe wrapped snugly around her impressive figure while her sandy-blonde hair still dripped water all over her carpet. She was taking a nice, long shower when somebody knocked on her door, and interrupted her bathing.

"One moment please!" She called through the locked door as she peered through the peephole. Seeing that it was a ninja, she quickly unlocked the door and stepped back to open it, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Can I help you?" she asked as the ninja quickly looked passed her into the apartment, ignoring her completely. Quickly getting annoyed, despite the man's position, she asked again in a much more forceful tone, "I said can I help you?"

Naruto eyed the woman who had obviously just stepped out of the shower speculatively before pushing passed her and heading right into her apartment uninvited.

Now, the attractive woman understood that, in a ninja village, ninja are to be respected above all others. However, that definitely didn't mean she'd stand for some stranger barging into her apartment without invitation. Her fury only increased tenfold when, as she tried to follow his quick strides, she saw him storming out of her bedroom and head towards the bathroom.

"What the hell are you doing?!" she shouted angrily, grabbing his arm and stopping him from entering the bathroom and embarrassing her to death. Being a woman with a healthy sexual appetite, and having the house to herself, she had several things out in the open in the bathroom that she was in the process of using during her shower that she definitely didn't want some stranger seeing.

"Where is he?" Naruto asked with a menacing tone, narrowing his eyes at her and shrugging off her arm.

"Where's who?" the woman asked desperately, her fury having quickly morphed into fear at the menacing tone in the man's voice.

"Akira, where's Akira?" he asked again in a no-nonsense tone. "And don't even think about lying to me girl," he threatened the confused girl.

"Um . . . " She stepped back warily, not sure what to make of the situation. "I don't know who you're looking for exactly, but my name is Akira . . . Yoshida Akira . . ."

The anger on the ninja's face vanished in an instant, only to be replaced by mute shock. Akira seemed to be just as confused and shocked as Naruto, as neither spoke for several moments.

"You're Akira?" Naruto asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah," Akira answered slowly, drawing the word out warily.

"Yoshida Akira? You're name is Yoshida Akira?" he asked again, his disbelief growing by the instant apparently.

"Yes," Akira answered curtly this time, quickly getting annoyed.

"You're a girl," Naruto pointed out needlessly.

"Well spotted," she snapped irritably. "You must be a credit to the ninja force! Now can you please tell me what the hell you're doing in my apartment?!"

His eyes wide and his mouth hanging open, he slowly, warily locked eyes with her again and asked, "You wouldn't happen to be going on a date with a certain Ichiraku Ayame tonight, would you?"

Surprised, and not seeing how that was any of his business, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Unless this is a matter involving the security of the village, I don't see why I should answer that question."

"Oh, wow!" Naruto chuckled nervously. "Well, this is awkward . . ."

"What?" Now it was Akira's turn to be confused. "What the hell are you talking about? And more importantly, what the hell is going on here?!"

Naruto chuckled again and scratched the back of his head nervously. "Well, you're Yoshida Akira, a girl, who is going on a date with my friend, Ichiraku Ayame, who, until roughly one minute ago, I was certain was straight."

Akira looked at Naruto incredulously before bursting out in laughter. "Oh, this is too much!" she exclaimed between giggles. "Let me get this straight, you, the big scary ninja, came here, expecting me to be a man, ready to give me the 'you hurt her I'll kill you' talk, without even knowing your friend was a lesbian!"

Naruto slumped against the wall and slid down to the ground, his mouth open and ready to object before he wisely shut it and smirked. "Yeah, something like that. When I saw you answer the door like that, I guess I just assumed that mister Akira had another girl on the side. I guess I got a little angry."

"She means a lot to you, huh?" Akira asked gently, sliding down beside Naruto on the floor. "I guess that's kind of sweet of you, in a weird sort of way."

Naruto nodded, using the few moments of comfortable silence to eye the woman sitting beside him. If nothing else, Ayame definitely had taste. Akira, judging by the way her robe hugged her figure, had a curvy, well-proportioned body. She had a cute face framed by sandy blonde hair with sharp, green eyes. Her legs were long, and sexy while her bum, from what he could see, was nice and shapely.

"Are you done checking me out?" Akira asked in amusement as Naruto chuckled.

"If nothing else, I must say that Ayame has taste," Naruto admitted with a charming smile.

"Oh, wow, are you hitting on me?" Akira asked in amusement. Earning an eye-roll from the only ninja in the room. "I don't even know your name."

"Don't worry," Naruto assured with a cocky grin. "If Uzumaki Naruto started hitting on you, I'd have you straight again in no time at all!"

"Is that right?" Akira asked dryly. "So, is 'Uzumaki Naruto' going say what you came here to say?"

"Yeah, been thinking how to word that to be honest." Naruto chuckled in embarassment. "I'm not gonna lie and tell you I wasn't blindsided by all this."

"Why don't you try your best?" Akira urged him. "I'd like to get back to my shower, if you don't mind."

Naruto chuckled again, a nervous habbit, but nodded. "Fair enough." He paused. "Before you penetrate Ayame with some penis-shaped toy, you better mean it, or I'll be back to kick your pretty, and shapely ass! I'll have none of this promiscuous nonsense with Ayame, you'd better not break her heart!"

Akira was gaping at Naruto with an embarrassed flush and opened mouth shock. She hadn't expected him to be so . . . blunt! She'd have probably laughed had it been said to anyone else, but as things were, she was just too embarrassed to do anything.

"Oh, a shy one, that's kind of cute." Naruto nodded sagely. "So, now that we have all of that nastiness out of the way, can you promise me to video-tape you two going at it if things go that far? I need it for –!"

"Out!" Akira ordered while trying to hide a small grin.

"Well, can I at least see what you were so desperate to hide form me in the bathroom -?"

"I said out!" she got up and started shoving him out of the apartment.

"You know," Naruto said as he let himself be shoved out of the apartment. "You're kind of pushy, are you like that in bed too? You know what? Forget the tape, let me watch! I promise I won't try to join in -!"

"Out, out, out!" she exclaimed with a laugh. "You can rest assured that I am suitably cowed, and, after this display, positively certain of my sexual orientation. Now, it was nice meeting you, goodbye!"

Naruto stood in silence on Akira's doorstep for several moments, the door having slammed shut behind him, the sound echoing loudly in the otherwise silent corridor. "Well, that was interesting," he mused humorously.

He leapt onto the railing of the nearby balcony and used his Chakra to help him swiftly jump to a nearby roof.

Being a Jounin sensei may not be so bad after all. He was definitely having much more fun already.

Reaching into his pouch, he pulled out his medication and swallowed two tablets before deciding that it'd probably be best to lay-low for a while. Ayame, bless her soul, had one hell of a temper.

She'd probably poison his Ramen if she heard about the stunt he'd just pulled. It looked like he'd have to rely on the instant variety for at least a week before Ayame would calm down enough to at least not try and kill him.

He expertly leapt off the edge of the building and jumped through one of the large windows in his apartment and broke his fall with a roll. Springing up, he grabbed the small watering can nearby and silently began to tend to his plants before letting out a tired sigh.

How in the hell was he supposed to teach a group of Genin when everything he'd ever learned was mostly self-taught?