Through The Looking Glass

The crisp white sheets lay over Jacks body, his arm subconsciously moving over to Kate's side of the bed, then tracing over the pillow. Feeling for her. He opened his eyes, rolled over and steered into space. He saw no curled golden-brown hair falling carelessly falling over her face, he saw no tiny freckles sprinkled over her nose, no smile, no Kate. He rolled back towards his side and stepped out of the now empty bed. For a moment he thought he could hear her, downstairs rumbling around in the kitchen, in the bathroom turning on the shower, calling his name from the bed, but then he realised he would never hear her voice again, never see her smile, never feel the warmth of her skin. Snapping him out of his thoughts was ironically her voice, on the answer machine, he walked closer to the stairs so he could hear there voices in unison.

"Hi you've reached Jack and Kate were not able to take your call right now so call back later or try our cell…thanks"

"Hey Jack its Marc…call me when you get this" Jack stood and listened to the click of the answer machine, slowly sauntering down the stairs he deleted the message. "Message deleted"

Sitting on the edge of the chair Jack picked up the machine, contemplating whether to delete the message that he and Kate had practiced for hours, trying to fit the words in, trying not to laugh half way through it, not get there words mixed up. Pulling himself out of those thoughts that made his heart ache he began to realise if he deleted this message he would never hear her voice again, but if he didn't he would never do it. As he pushed the dreaded button much like Locke had done every 108 minutes down in the hatch, when life was good, when he had Kate, he sighed, a few tears escaping his eyes.

"Its Jack I cant take your call right now…leave a message"

As he played the new message back, his blank, sad, lonely voice hit him. He had nothing. No-one. What was left to live for? Who was left to live for?

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Strolling through the tranquil, empty graveyard Jack noticed the man looking down at Kate's grave, as he stood up tall he recognised him instantly. Sawyer. He was the man that ruined her life, if he had never made her fall in love with him she would never have left him. She would have been with Jack, with him. She would have been safe. Or would she? Would that have stopped the car knocking her over? Maybe it wouldn't, maybe his father was right and fate was real?

"Hey" Jack cleared his throat and laid the flowers on the grave.

"Hey" Sawyer mimicked, his former sarcastic drawl gone, replaced with a quiet unfilled one.

"You come here often?"

"Just now and again" Sawyer replied looking at him, giving him a small smile, though Jack never returned it. "Look…Jack…whatever you may think of me…whatever you think I've done…I loved her…I just never knew how much until…until she…" Sawyer turned his head away unable to end the sentence he started.

"Yeah" Jack replied dryly "I only hate you because she loved you…and I cant help think that if she was never with you she would never be here" Jack took a threatening step forward pointing at Sawyer then the grave.

"Maybe you right…maybe she wouldn't…but I cant change what happened Jack…that's something I've learned in life…and if I could swap places with her I would" Sawyer stepped away from him, not wanting to cause anymore pain than he already had, he'd had enough of being the on that wrecks things, he wouldn't do it anymore. "Goodbye doc"

"Sawyer…just to let you know…I do blame you!" Jack spat coldly before turning and heading back to his car.

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Jack stood silently taking in the view, it was the black of night and Jack found himself standing near a bridge. He had come here often, looking at the lights of Los Angeles, people getting on with there lives, the world was passing him by, he noticed them but they didn't him, no-one knew the pain that consumed him. Slowly eating him until he could take no more and maybe that was now. He thought of what he didn't have, it came easily. No Kate. No Baby. Nothing. He thought of what he did have, that also came easily. Nothing. His former life seemed so attractive, but now, now he had nothing, the bridge lulled him towards it. Jack felt his feet moving but he couldn't remember telling them to. Suddenly he found himself stood on top of the bridge. He took a deep breath and felt himself falling, soaring, tumbling, through the air, hitting the ground. Yet he was still stood there. He couldn't do it. He couldn't jump. Because he would never get the answer to the burning question that plagued his mind everyday. Why? Why her? Again finding himself looking at the endless way down, letting his left leg hand over the edge then replacing it with his right, left, right. He could hear her soft voice calling him, but he couldn't remove both his legs from the bridge. It was like one was permanently glued down while the other blew against the wind. He was always the hero, so why was he playing the victim? Without thinking, without warning he played the victim, played the card he never would have before. He jumped.

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"So how did you like looking through the looking glass Jack?" Ben asked a confused, disorientated Jack, who steered back in disbelief.

"Your lying" Jack shuck his head, trying not to fall for was he thought was Bens bluff.

"I don't lie Jack"

Jack chuckled getting irradiated by the man stood in front of him. "So you can either save everyone but lose Kate and what looked like your life and you know the irony of that option is that the hero couldn't save himself… but then of course you don't 'phone home' and keep her…but then there's always the chance of her going with James... or Sawyer whichever one you would like to call him…so Jack its up to you"

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sorry for the short chap, but thanks for reading the final chapter! Please review it only takes a few second and this is the last chap. Oh by the way Marc is Jacks childhood friend his full name is Marc Silverman, he was at Jacks wedding to Sarah and you saw a young Marc and Jack in White Rabbit. Thanks for reading please review.