'There are so many things which I regret,' he said, 'but of one thing I am certain, that were I given the chance again, I would still ask you to marry me. I know I messed it up, but that's me as you know only too well. I am fully aware of the dreadful pain that I caused you when I ignored Mani and he killed George although I would however have found a way to save Nico or that is what I told myself at the time. I know how much you miss them and that despite you telling me that it wasn't my fault, I destroyed your one chance of happiness and then dragged you back into my messy little world.'

He paused and held her hands even tighter as though they were a lifeline, which of course for him they were. Closing his eyes, please don't get this wrong he told himself.

'I am truly sorry, for everything really but never for the fact that I met and fell in love with you. It overwhelms me to the point that I can barely think, let alone sleep, and until now I didn't believe it possible to want and love someone as much as I love you.'

He knew that he looked and sounded needy but he no longer cared. He had laid himself open to rejection and if that was what she wanted, then he had to let her go. Struggling for breath, he finished what had always planned to say, to give Ruth a way out should she want one. It would be crass to do otherwise.

'Despite what I have said, whatever happens to me in the future is not important. What does matter is that you find a way to move forward and what I want most is for you to be happy.'

They were by far the most honest and heartfelt words that he had ever said and it had left him totally spent. Lifting both her hands to his lips, he kissed them gently before getting up from the sofa and walking to the window. He stood unseeing across the silent landscape, fighting to control the tears that were now rolling down his face.

Ruth was equally still as she tried to marshal her thoughts and think how on earth she was going to respond to what Harry had said. She had come here to tell him that she loved him and didn't want to lose him although at this stage anyway, she didn't want to marry him. Providing that they took things slowly, she wanted them to build a relationship and she certainly didn't want him to resign. He was the other half of her own broken heart and without him, she was totally lost.

She had never forgotten Mani's words when he had suggested that perhaps her relationship with Harry was outdated and akin to Brief Encounter, which of course it had been and up to now still was. Needing to put some space between them and give herself time to think, she stood up and told him that she was going to make some tea.

By the time Ruth returned to the sitting room, Harry had resumed his seat on the sofa. He looked totally defeated, so different from the man who not two hours ago had rubbed her feet and thrust a hot water bottle into her hands. Scarlet was cuddled into his side and she could see quite clearly the tear tracks on his face. It was not something that she had seen since the day Ros had berated him after Havensworth, and just as it had then, it tore at her heart strings.

For some reason though, it made her feel stronger and able to take control of the situation, so putting their two mugs of tea on the table between them, she sat down in his armchair and took a deep breath.

'Harry, look at me please.' she said with more bravado than she actually felt. 'Before I say anything else or your overactive imagination spirals further into the abyss, I need you to know that I love you.'

She answered the question that he had asked her on that dreadful day in the warehouse when Mani had left them alone, that despite feeling safe and for most of the time happy when she had been with George, that she had never loved him. That she had tried but failed to accept the fact that she would never see him again and how her first question to Malcolm was to ask asked him, how he was. She missed Nico and she imagined that she always would, but given the chance to turn the clock back she wouldn't do so, she was where she wanted to be and that it was with him.

Returning to the here and now she ploughed on.

'I can't marry you Harry, well at least not now, but I don't want to lose you and I certainly don't want you to resign. I need us to take this slowly but as I've waited more than three years since the last time, I'd quite like you to kiss me.

Harry was smiling, in fact he had been smiling since the moment that she had said that she loved him. She had always been the strong one his guiding light was the best way to describe her. If she wanted to take things slowly then that was exactly what he would do, providing that her idea of slowly didn't take them into the next Millennium. Big steps and little ones had been his Mum's motto and it had served her well. He and Ruth had taken a big step today as they had finally offloaded the turmoil and pain that had for so long kept them apart. She had told him that she loved him and with two more days before they had to go back to work, there was plenty more time to talk.

Add that to the fact that when he had last looked out of the window it was still snowing, who knows he thought.

For what felt like an eternity to Harry, they sat there like a couple of idiots just grinning at each other.

'If you want that kiss, you had better come here.' he said patting the sofa for her to come and join him.

The speed with which she moved surprised him, given that she had just told him that he needed to take things slowly, as in the blink of an eye she was sitting next to him with her hands on his thighs. 'Well?' she asked.

Epilogue to follow.