A/N- This chapter is kind of sad…sigh oh well, swearing ahead, so be warned. Go and check out the story Revelation by Lady Gwen, or summat like that. I just put it on my favie stories list. But it's really awesome! I've just spent like the last short while reading through it. Anywhos, I hope you like this chapter…it's taken me forever to write and I'm sorry. I went to camp for like a week…up in Boston. It was a lot of fun though, even if I did have an unfortunate thing happen with me and my roommate…oh well…read the story and review. Reviews are life! They are the air in my lungs and my reason for getting up every day! I hope the ending was alright, it's going on 2 as I finish this up…anywho…all my love, Beccs!
Chapter 3
Guilt and Shame
"Where is Gwen?"
Jack looked up from a file he was going over that afternoon and over to Ianto, "She called this morning and said she'd be a bit late," he answered.
"Oh," Ianto studied Jack for a moment, "How are you?"
Jack looked at Ianto for a moment, trying to see if he was serious or not, he decided finally that Ianto was serious, he shrugged, "I'm fine, why?"
"Just wondering," Ianto replied.
Jack looked back at his case file and Ianto studied him for a moment before going back to writing up some files.
XX
"Gwen, are you going to eat?"
Gwen looked away from where she was looking at the bay to Rhys, "What?"
"Are you going to eat?" Rhys repeated.
She looked down at her plate of beans on toast and egg, when the waiter had brought it; she had just poked at it and then looked out at the bay. Her mind was anywhere but on food. She shrugged, "I'm not that hungry I suppose," Gwen answered softly.
"Do you feel alright?"
"Yeah, my mind is just all over the place this morning. I'm sorry."
Rhys took Gwen's hand and smiled, "It's alright, don't apologize."
She sighed and then took her hand back and began to eat a bit on her eggs.
Rhys studied her for a moment and told himself that nothing was wrong as he went back to eating.
As Gwen took a bite of her toast her mind went far away once more.
XX
Their tongues clashed together in a frantic matter as they undressed each other. Within mere seconds they had relieved themselves of their clothes, and were one. Gwen laid back on the bed as she allowed Jack to make love to her, clutching at the bed as he did so. Gwen tried to clutch at the sheets, but it didn't suffice, so she merely clutched at Jack's back.
XX
"Gwen?! Gwen!"
She shook her head and looked at Rhys, they were now walking towards the Millennium Centre, "What?"
"I asked you a question," he snapped.
"Oh….what was it?"
"Do you want me to go into the Hub with you, or are you going to be fine? Cause you seem to be on Auto Pilot," Rhys answered.
"I don't care, you can come in if you want," Gwen said softly.
Rhys nodded and took Gwen by the arm as they walked onto the slab of pavement. A moment later it took them down into the Hub.
Jack looked up from where he was sitting and then stood up when he saw her coming down with Gwen. He walked over and said painfully, "Mr and Mrs Williams, what a pleasant surprise."
"Hey Jack, sorry I'm late. We went to get breakfast," Gwen said before pulling away from Rhys and not looking Jack in the eyes and going over to her desk.
"Gwen didn't seem to be herself, that's why I came down with her," Rhys said as an answer to Jack's expression, which very clearly said 'what the hell are you doing down here anyways?'
"Ah, well will take things from here. If she needs you, she knows how to get in touch with you," Jack replied.
Rhys looked unsure for a moment, but after looking at Gwen for a moment (who was looking at some papers on her desk) he used this as a reassurance, "Alright…love you Gwen," he called across the room.
Jack sighed as he walked off, taking a mug of coffee off of Ianto's tray as he went. Gwen nodded, "Yeah you too," she replied.
Rhys then turned around and left the Hub. Once he was gone Ianto came over and handed Gwen some coffee, "Is everything alright with you two?"
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well you just seem…well not your self. I've never known you to just grunt when Rhys has told you he loves you," Ianto answered.
Gwen shrugged, "I dunno…I've just got a lot on my mind."
Ianto looked like he didn't believe her, "Well you and Jack both then," he said absent mindedly after a few moments of silence.
She looked at him sharply, "What do you mean?"
"Well when I came in, he was just kind of like…well you. Grunting mostly, nodding at things, and not talking much. He tends to get like that when he's deep in thought," he explained.
Gwen was silent for a moment, "Do you really love Jack? Or is your relationship just a convenience thing?"
Ianto looked for a moment like he might get upset with Gwen but then was silent as he thought about it. "I don't know…I do care for Jack, but most of the time that we are together is when one of us is really hurting," Ianto paused then felt the need to add in, "Although he didn't come to me last night…or call or anything. But don't get me wrong, because life without Jack would be a living hell. I don't think I could cope. Personally I love Jack, I just wonder if he feels the same way."
Gwen looked down at her hands, feeling even guiltier now for sleeping with Jack. She then took a sip of her coffee, hoping that Ianto would leave. He eventually did. Gwen watched as he left and brushed past Jack who briefly made eye contact with her but then he quickly averted his gaze to something other than Gwen.
XX
The day wore on, for what seemed like forever to Gwen and Jack. To Ianto it seemed like the day went slow, but that was for two reasons. One, no activity occurred, and two…Gwen and Jack seemed to be avoiding each other, and personally it was starting to weird him out.
"Alright you can go home. No sense in sitting around when nothing is happening," Jack finally called later that evening.
Gwen silently thanked God and then silently gathered up her things and left for home. Jack watched her as she went through the cog door; he stood there for a moment, even after she was gone and then went into his office.
As Gwen's apartment building came into sight, a light shower of rain began to fall, and by the time she got inside she was drenched.
"Hey beautiful, supper is almost ready," Rhys said as he heard Gwen close the door behind her.
"Alright, I'm just going to go take a shower real quick and get out of these wet clothes," Gwen said softly, tiredness evident in her voice as she went to the bathroom.
Rhys went back to preparing the food, oblivious to his wife's inner turmoil.
As the hot water began to run Gwen put her iPod on its docking station and put it on a shelf in the bathroom and turned it up, after that she undressed and hopped into the shower. She stood there for a moment, letting the steaming hot water beat down on her skin. Then a big fat tear rolled down her face, seeing Jack again today just reminded her of everything that she had done with him the night before.
--
As he thrusted down, trying to get deeper inside her body, Gwen thrusted up, to meet his movements. Something in the back of her mind was telling her it was wrong, but she couldn't stop nor be bothered to give it much more thought, because Jack was bringing her the most pleasure she had experienced in the longest time.
--
A sob escaped her lips; her mind would not stop flashing back to the previous night. She could still feel Jack's lips upon her own, his body against her own. She slid down to the floor of the shower as her emotions over came her, and for several long minutes, she sat there. Letting the hot water beat down at her body as she sobbed, she sobbed for when she had betrayed Rhys before, she sobbed for the deaths of Owen and Tosh, and she sobbed for sleeping with Jack the night before.
Finally she composed herself, bathed quickly and then stepped out of the shower. Gwen wrapped a large towel around her body and then went into the bedroom to change into her sleep pants and tank top.
She then walked into the living room where Rhys was setting the plates onto the table; Gwen flopped down onto the sofa and stared off into space.
"Gwen, do you wanna stay there, or do you want to come over here and eat?" Rhys asked.
She shrugged and emanated a barely audible sound, a cross between a grunt and a groan. Rhys sighed and brought her plate over and handed it to her. She looked down at the Spaghetti Bolognaise and poked at it a bit before taking a bite of it.
Eventually she decided she was not going to eat, and that was after only four bites. She stood up and said nothing to Rhys as she walked into the bedroom and crawled into bed and succumbed to sleep. He stayed on the sofa for awhile longer however, his thoughts all over the place, but mainly on his worries about Gwen. Ever since she came home that morning she seemed even more distant and hurting than she had been the night before. He was trying his best to not loose his temper with her, mainly because the last time he had, she had disappeared and not answered her phone all night.
At some point he eventually stood up, washed the dishes and then went into the bedroom. He rid himself of his clothes and then climbed in next to Gwen. For a few moments Rhys watched her sleep, he could tell she was hurting, but there was nothing he could do about it. Rhys finally fell asleep a half hour later.
XX
The next few days and nights were the same, Gwen and Jack avoided each other, and Gwen was completely absent to the world when she was at home, mostly grunting or making some sort of barely audible noise with her mouth whenever Rhys had asked her a question.
Four nights after the incident with Jack, Gwen should have been happy; Rhys had been put in charge of another office that was a sister to his own, located in England. He would only have to go up there at least once or twice a month, and the pay was going to be fabulous. But Gwen was still her numb self. She didn't replay the images of her with Jack as much anymore, but she still felt numb from all the crying she had done.
"I can't believe it Gwen! I mean I knew that I deserved it; you even said the last time a promotion like this occurred, that I totally deserved that job. I did, and then I get the call today! This is just wonderful! Tomorrow night I'm taking you out to the most expensive restaurant in the city, or we could wait till the weekend and go to Paris. That little café we went to the last time we were there was wonderful. What would you prefer?" Rhys was walking on cloud nine as he came over to the sofa and sat down beside his wife.
"That's nice sweetheart," she muttered before standing up and going over to the kitchen to find herself something to drink.
Rhys was clearly hurt, but he quickly regained himself. He was silent for a moment as he thought, "You know, the darndest thing happened today! I was walking down the street to get a coffee, and I happened to see Walt Disney! He asked me to be in the Mickey Mouse Club, but I told him I'd have to ask my wife first. What do you think honey? Can I be a mousekateer?" Rhys asked, feigning excitement like a child on Christmas.
"Whatever you want honey," she replied.
This set Rhys off, he jumped up, "What the fuck is going on with you Gwen?!" he screamed.
She was wide and alert now, "What are you talking about?" she cried.
"I just asked if I could be in the Mickey Mouse Club and you told me whatever I wanted to do! You've been like this the last few days! Barely talking to me, and when you do talk you're not even giving me proper answers!" Rhys screamed at her.
"What are you talking about? I've been talking to you! Look! Were talking right now, don't act stupid Rhys!" she screamed back.
"Yeah I know, that's all I am! A Big stupid oaf, if that is what I am, and then why the fuck did you marry me? For a laugh?! Did you and the girls play truth and dare and you just so happened to get the dare that said 'Marry Rhys, because it'll be hilarious! Be good for a laugh!"
Gwen looked at him for a moment, "I just have a lot on my mind right now! I'm sorry alright?!" she cried, tears brimming in her eyes.
"Well I've been trying to tell myself that, I've been repeating over and over 'Gwen is stressed, she's mourning…she needs to get through this' but after you came home the other morning you seemed even more distant, and it's getting worse and worse. Everyday you come home, emotionless, quiet, I can't handle this anymore! You can't even be happy for me when I get a promotion! You just sit there and nod your head in agreement, as if I was telling you a fact or something, not informing you of something so important to me!"
She paused and thought for a moment, "What promotion?"
Rhys blew up, "This is exactly my point! Your mind is just in outer space, you didn't even hear me tell you that I had been promoted! Dear God Gwen! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
She just rolled her eyes and then made up her mind right then and there; she was not staying the night in the same flat as Rhys Williams. She brushed past him and went into the bedroom, grabbed her purse, phone, and slipped on her shoes. "I'll see you later Rhys, when you're not in the mood to scream at me!" she cried before walking out of the house and slamming the door behind her.
Rhys stood there, remembering this was how things had ended four nights before. But tonight he wouldn't call her cell phone; he wasn't going to worry himself with it. It took too much out of him. He then grabbed his beer off of the kitchen counter and sat down on the sofa to drink off his anger and hurt…
XX