Chapter 4: Louder Than Words
"How is he, Nobu?" Byakuya asked the clan healer, as they stood by the door to Tetsuya's room.
"Well," sighed the healer, "he is coping well enough in the physical sense, but everything else is a complete mess, as one might expect after what he has endured. He is devastated by the loss of his mate. It should help that you are having the boy buried here. At least, he'll be able to mourn him properly. But he has many other things to overcome. He is agoraphobic, having lived in a small cell all of his life. He is highly sensitive to bright lights and loud noises. He has nightmares when he tries to sleep. He has not touched food or drink since he arrived, to the point where I am ready to nourish him by injection if he doesn't improve soon. He exhibits fear and mistrust towards anyone who approaches him. He is wholly unfamiliar with most conveniences and social nuances. Byakuya-sama, you might want to rethink your plans to keep him here. I think an asylum would be more suitable for one with as many barriers and obstacles as he has."
"Well, he is the son of my father's favored cousin, and that means that, as my father's son, I owe it to my dad to care for him."
The healer shook his head sadly.
"I know you feel for him, sir, but you are taking on more than you can handle, truly. The asylum is not a bad place, and he can certainly return here after he has recovered enough and developed some knowledge of proper social behavior."
"Nonsense," Byakuya said, resolutely, "Tetsuya is staying here. And I would like you to gather as much information as you can about his issues so that we can deal with them appropriately here."
The healer looked as though he wanted to continue arguing, but saw the stubborn glint in the Kuchiki heir's eyes and backed down.
"Of course, Byakuya-sama. I will...do my best."
"May I see him now?" asked Byakuya.
"Yes," the healer said, glancing back into the room, "Just, move slowly and don't expect a response. He is barely cognizant of his surroundings. His grief has isolated him from reality, I think."
Byakuya sighed.
"Thank you. I will remember your advice."
"And I will be back to check on him in a while."
Byakuya watched the healer leave, then stepped into Tetsuya's room, noting immediately, that the room had been darkened. He noticed, a moment later that the bed was empty.
"Tetsuya?" he called softly.
He found the youth crouched in the small corner between the bed and the wall, his wide, frightened eyes fastened on Byakuya and his chest heaving softly with quickened breaths. Byakuya stood quietly for a moment, studying his cousin's spooked expression, then smiled and knelt a short distance away from him.
"It must be difficult being in an unfamiliar place, and not knowing anyone here. But...just so you know, you and I are relatives. My father, Kuchiki Soujun, was your father's first cousin. They grew up together, here, at Kuchiki Manor. So...really, Tetsuya, this is your true home."
The boy's sapphire eyes remained locked on Byakuya as he spoke, and his body relaxed in stages. He peeked out from under a tumble of wispy, unkempt black hair and slowly warmed to regarding his cousin with cautious curiosity. When Byakuya didn't move, but remained kneeling quietly near him, he crept forward, listening to the soothing sound of his voice and enjoying the gentle scent of sakura that seemed to come from him. Byakuya was careful not to move, but kept speaking to the other youth in a calm, quiet voice, until Tetsuya knelt in front of him, looking at him warily in the halflight. He reached out and touched his cousin's long, silken hair and tears filled his anguished eyes. Byakuya noticed that Tetsuya's hair looked to have been carelessly cut away, and recently, and imagined that it had to have been long, like his. He smiled as his cousin's thin fingers slid down the long strands of his hair.
"Someone cut your hair?" he asked softly, "Well, do not worry. You are a Kuchiki. It will grow back quickly. But, Tetsuya, since you do not live in the prison anymore, you will be expected to keep your hair and body clean. If you are ready, I will show you."
Tetsuya looked into his solemn gray eyes for a moment, then nodded. Byakuya extended a hand and Tetsuya stood with him. He pressed close to his cousin's side, his hand gripping Byakuya's as the two left his room and moved out into the daylight. Tetsuya froze just outside his bedroom door, squinting and shivering softly, his senses nearly overwhelmed by the intense colors and scents of the gardens. Byakuya smiled at him and waited patiently as Tetsuya's eyes took in his lovely environs.
"Kuchiki Manor is home to the most beautiful gardens in the three worlds," he told his spellbound cousin, "My father inherited a gift for making things grow, and I too have that gift. Perhaps you do, as well. Once you have adjusted to having the use of your full reiatsu and we take that limiter off, we will see what you are capable of."
Tetsuya glanced down at the slim silver band on his wrist that had replaced the heavy collar all of the prisoners wore. It felt strange having the knowledge that he could use his own powers. Even as weak as they were while controlled by the limiter, it was more than he and the others had ever been allowed.
Byakuya followed his gaze to the limiter and gave him a look of understanding.
"I know it feels like you're still being controlled," he said quietly, "but it is for your safety, because you are not used to having control of your reiatsu. You will have training here to help you, and soon that charm will not be necessary."
Tetsuya nodded and offered his cousin a shy smile to show he understood, then followed as Byakuya led him to a small building just off of the main wing, where their rooms were.
"This is the bathing room," Byakuya told him, leading him through the doorway.
Tetsuya was struck by the beauty of the inside of the building, that mirrored that of the gardens outside. A large, warm pool dominated the room, and boasted lovely sandstone paths around the edge, several bubbling soaking tubs and a number of large, rocky waterfalls. And everywhere around the water, plants and flowers grew, bringing color and life to the room that made Tetsuya's stunned eyes water.
Naoki would never believe this...
His heart ached as the odd combination of the beauty of his new home and the still wrenching loss of his mate collided, and Tetsuya dropped to his knees in the doorway, covering his face and dissolving into silent sobs. There was a moment of stunned realization on Byakuya's part, then the heir dropped to his knees in front of Tetsuya and touched his face lightly. Tetsuya looked up at him, no longer bothering with the tears that slid down his face. He stared into Byakuya's strong, solemn eyes and waited for a rebuke.
But strangely, Byakuya only held his gaze calmly and spoke to him in that gentle, soothing voice.
"I cried too, when I lost my father a few years ago," he admitted softly, "but my grandfather explained something to me, and I wonder if it might make sense to you. I know that when you were a prisoner, you might have felt that there was no hope. But...that hopelessness ended the moment you were freed and brought here. Your tears should end here too."
Byakuya's eyes softened and became somewhat distanced as he continued.
"We should not shed tears. That is the surrender of the body to the heart. It is only proof that we are beings who do not know what to do with their hearts."
Tetsuya stared breathlessly as the words entered through his ears and sank down inside him.
"Some people would say that only a cold person does not allow himself tears, but we are taught that tears are a sign of weakness, hopelessness, surrender. And being part of the strongest of the noble clans, you and I do not have the luxury of showing weakness, Tetsuya. Ours is a legacy of great strength, and we use that to ensure that we not only hope, even in our times of despair, but that we never surrender to darkness. And even when it surrounds us on all sides, we look for the light. We believe it is there, even though we may not see it."
He brought his cousin's head to rest lightly on his shoulder and continued to speak in that calm, peaceful voice.
"Whether you know it or not, it was your connection to the Kuchiki family's strength that saw you through everything. You may have cried, Tetsuya, but you also kept believing you would get out of that place. And now that you have escaped, you must make yourself very strong so that no one will ever take your freedom from you again. Do you understand?"
Tetsuya said nothing, but he took a steadying breath and stood, then wiped the tears off of his face and followed Byakuya quietly to the water's edge. He startled at the sudden appearance of two servants, blundered into the water and slipped, splashing down, then righting himself and sitting in the shallows, blinking the water out of his wary eyes. The two teen aged servants looked at each other and bit their lips, while Byakuya released a coughing chuckle and approached him, smirking.
"Come on," he said, offering his cousin a hand, "They are just here to assist us."
Tetsuya stood and walked back to the edge of the water. One of the attendants approached him and reached for the tie at his waist. Tetsuya stepped back and nearly slipped, but steadied himself and backed away from the attendant. Byakuya gave him a patient smile.
"It's okay," he said, allowing the other attendant to remove his yukata, "They are here to help."
Tetsuya blushed and tried not to stare as his cousin stepped out of his clothes and waded into the warm water.
The attendant in front of him smiled.
"I am Koji," he said quietly, "May I help you with your yukata, Tetsuya-san?"
Tetsuya's eyes widened in surprise at the respect in the request. He yielded the yukata calmly and waded out into the hip deep water, following Byakuya to the waterfalls. They stood, side by side as the attendants waited for several minutes to let them wet themselves, then undressed and waded out to join them.
Byakuya's hand touched his arm, and Tetsuya felt his mind race back to a similar touch, but one more malevolent and forceful...
"Kneel."
"Yes, Orochi-sama."
"Put it in your mouth."
"Y-yes...Orochi-sama."
"Tetsuya!"
Byakuya's strident voice shocked him out of the reverie he had gone into, and he returned to awareness and found himself on his knees in front of his cousin, his lips a breath away from Byakuya's flaccid member. He flushed and turned away, breathless with humiliation as the attendants stood quietly and tried not to make him any more uncomfortable by staring.
"Torio, Koji," Byakuya said, more calmly, "Leave us."
Tetsuya felt a shiver of uncertainty as the attendants waded back to the water's edge, dressed and left the building. He heard the water splash down onto Byakuya's body as the heir began to wash himself.
"It's okay," he assured his cousin, "I know that there were those within the prison who made you serve them that way. But...you are not there anymore, Tetsuya. No one has the right to force those things on you. And you must also respect others' rights to control who touches them."
Tetsuya sat, frozen in the water, too embarrassed by what he had done to move. Byakuya finished bathing, then brought Tetsuya to his feet and led him back to the waterfall. He positioned Tetsuya in front of him and took the soap in his hands.
"Would you like me to help you, so that you know what the attendants will do next time?" Byakuya asked.
Tetsuya hesitated, then nodded briefly.
He stood quietly as Byakuya applied the soap to his body, then rubbed it in. He closed his eyes and wishfully thought of Naoki, standing with him in such a beautiful place and running his hands over Tetsuya's soapy flesh. He blushed again as Byakuya's hand brushed against his slightly aroused genitals. He hardened and blushed even more as Byakuya's fingers sank into his tangled hair, curling in the sweet smelling shampoo and working it in. He was relaxed and nearly asleep on his feet by the time Byakuya coaxed him under the water again and washed the soap away. He knew he should be embarrassed at all of the mistakes he was making, but was so tired that he couldn't focus enough to make the effort.
He yawned sleepily and followed Byakuya back to the water's edge, where the attendants reappeared and wrapped fresh yukatas around them. He met Koji's friendly eyes apologetically and felt warmed at the attendant's kind return smile. He was calmer inside as he walked back to the main building at Byakuya's side. They stopped outside his bedroom door.
"Koji will dress you and then take you to the garden table for breakfast," Byakuya told him.
He tried to keep himself on his feet, but couldn't resist the soft, comfortable bed he had been too afraid to sleep in the night before. He waited until Koji had gone into the dressing area to prepare his clothing, then crawled in under the covers and collapsed in exhaustion.
"Tetsuya-san?" Koji called out from the dressing area, I am ready to dress you now, sir."
He blinked and tilted his head questioningly, hearing no answer.
"Eh...Tetsuya-san?" he called again, walking out into the bedroom.
He spotted the youth curled up in the bed and wrapped around several pillows. His brown eyes softened in sympathy and he shook his head and sighed.
"Is my cousin ready for breakfast yet?" Byakuya asked from the doorway.
"Um..." said Koji, "Sir...he seemed very weary, and fell asleep as I was preparing his clothes. Do you want me to wake him?"
Byakuya studied his cousin's more peaceful expression and shook his head gently.
"No," he said quietly, "Allow him to sleep all he needs to. And inform me as soon as he wakes. And Koji, be ready with tea and something for him to eat as soon as he does. He needs to eat."
"Of course, Byakuya-sama."
Byakuya started to turn away, but stopped as Koji's voice sounded softly behind him.
"It was horrid what those prisoners had to endure."
He gazed back at the attendant silently.
"It is obvious to me that Tetsuya-san is a gentle person. It...makes me want to cry, thinking of anyone hurting such a gentle person. Will he...be all right, do you think, Byakuya-sama?"
Byakuya gazed at Koji quietly, then nodded.
"He only needs kindness and patient instruction," he said finally, "I am counting on you and Torio to help me give him that."
"I will," said Koji, his expression brightening, "I am honored you chose me to help him, sir!"
"That is good, Koji. He will need a lot of help. And there are some who will impede him because of his mixed blood. You know that."
"They may try," said the attendant, frowning, "But they'll have to go through Torio and me to do it!" he promised.
"Very well," Byakuya said, stepping out of the room again, "I leave him in your capable hands, then."
Koji broke out in a pleased expression, then was struck with just how difficult his job might be. His eyes grew more uncertain, but strengthened again as Tetsuya stirred and whimpered fitfully in his sleep.
"N-naoki...Naoki!" moaned the youth, tears leaking onto his pillow, "N-naoki..."
"Poor thing," Koji whispered, walking back into the room and stroking Tetsuya's hair lightly until he settled deeper into sleep again, "Rest easy, young master. You are among friends now."