Reading Key: Thoughts and emphasis are in italics. Telepathic conversation is underlined.

"Chapter" Summary: Missing scene from Glimpse 3: Breaking Off, starts from the point where Marion leaves the tent to go after Nycole.

x FNM:G x FNM:G x FNM:G x FNM:G x FNM:G x FNM:G x FNM:G x FNM:G x FNM:G x FNM:G x

Glimpse 4: Differences

When Marion found her, Nycole was sitting in the clearing half a mile from their tent. It was the place where Nycole used to train with Evan Lorne when their lessons had still been hidden from Carson. Marion bit her lower lip in worry and sank to sit beside the slightly older girl. She didn't say anything to Nycole or even look directly at her, knowing from their years growing up together that Nycole wouldn't share until she was ready… if it even happened at all.

Nycole had internalized most of her feelings since they'd had to leave Atlantis nine years before, and it had gotten exponentially worse after Evan had been killed. There were some days Marion wondered if Nycole was going to simply implode one day… or maybe explode, probably at Carson. If that happened, it would make the slap Nycole had just given him look like a love tap.

There were times when Nycole scared her.

But Marion still loved the other girl. Outside of Carson, Nycole was all the family she had. And she still fondly remembered the happy little girl Nycole had been, running through the halls of Atlantis and showing Marion how to use the Gene they had both been born with to get into mischief they never really got punished for. Sometimes, when Nycole coaxed her into doing something outdoors more adventurous than a walk, Marion still saw glimpses of that girl.

Looking back, Marion thought she, Nycole and the other children had been allowed to get away with more things than they should have because their parents and the other adults that raised them had known that any day could be their last. They had to have wanted the children of Atlantis to have as much fun as they could in whatever time they were allowed. And for all but two of them, it had proven far too short a time.

How much more would losing Atlantis have effected Marion if she had been awake during the evacuation as Nycole had been? Nycole had never spoken about it, but Marion could imagine that it hadn't been as simple as walking to the jumper bay and leaving. Just how much had whatever Nycole had seen that night, on top of losing both her parents, been responsible for who Nycole had become?

"I'm not going to apologize to him," Nycole suddenly said, snapping Marion from her memories into the present. "I know he's your father and you love him… I love him, too, most of the time… but he doesn't see me."

Marion frowned, "What do you mean?"

The other teenager… older by a year and a few months chronologically but in some ways many years more mature… turned her head to look at Marion.

"When Carson looks at me, he wants to see another you. You're his daughter, and of course he should love you more, but it's more than that." Nycole frowned and reached over to brush a small bug off Marion's skirt that she hadn't noticed was crawling there. "You not only fit the mold of who he wants you to be, you thrive in it. He expects me to be able to, too. But I'm not…"

"Me," Marion finished for her. "We are separate people."

But Nycole shook her head. "Not just that. I'm not… domestic, I guess. I'm no good at all the things that come so naturally to you. Cooking, sewing, being a comfort when he comes home. I'm too wild, too active. I don't want to assure him that his efforts to heal someone who was injured will help them recover faster; I want to talk about what could have been done to stop the injury from happening. I want to hunt, or act as a guard when a group goes off-world. I want to eventually be able to explore the galaxy like my father and Evan did."

Marion bit her lip. She'd known a lot of that, but had never heard Nycole talk like this about it. She knew Nycole had tried to be more like what Carson expected of her… she just never realized how much Nycole was chafing under the restraints. It was killing Nycole's spirit, and that was the one thing the other girl truly had left from who she had been. Maybe if she were freed from Carson's expectations, she would gain back more of what she'd lost when Evan had been killed. And Marion realized suddenly that Carson's mention of Evan must have been what had sparked the outburst of sharing from Nycole.

"You could move in with one of the Athosian families," she suggested after a quiet minute. "I know Holling has been lonely since Jinto married and moved into his own tent."

Nycole gave a sad half-smile and Marion knew she would refuse before she spoke. The Athosians were not the group Nycole identified with most… the Satedans were. Marion avoided the more rough-and-tumble group. Even as a child in Atlantis, she'd been slightly afraid of Ronon Dex… and she had known him all of her young life. None of the Satedans on Prizax had ever put much effort into getting to know her.

But Nycole had never been afraid. Even when they were younger and the Satedan children would intimidate the others during the breaks in their joint schooling sessions, Nycole had always stood up to them. Years later, a few of those boys had gone from picking fights with her to shooting her admiring glances. Not that Nycole noticed.

It wasn't often that Nycole thought of herself as a girl; she just… was. So when the other young females on Prizax had gotten to the age when gossip, boys and the eventual starting of families were the main topics of discussion, Nycole had broken off from their half of the adolescent social structure. Marion was the only one close to her own age that Nycole spent any real amount of time with. Living with someone like Holling, who though more accepting of the warrior's path than Carson was still likely to treat Nycole as more of a child than she was, wasn't what Nycole needed.

"Actually, Arkin invited me to join the Satedans a few months ago," Nycole said.

Marion nodded acknowledgment and sighed. "I guess you should tell Papa and pack your things."

"No." When Marion gave her a questioning look, Nycole explained, "I've calmed down, but we both know your father isn't going to just agree with this. We'd probably fight again, and I really don't want that. I'll just go and let him get used to the idea before I speak with him again."

Marion nodded acceptance of the plan. This was yet another way they were different. Even if she had decided to do something like this, she never would have just gone ahead and done it. She would have asked permission, and most likely ended up allowing her father to talk her out of it. This one time, for Nycole, Marion would make her father see that what he wanted wasn't what was best.

End Glimpse 4