SURPRISE! Ch4 - First Day Back

Disclaimer: Slash. You should have gotten the message by now anyway. And I don't own anything either.

A/N: Yeah... this chapter is extremely overdue. So enjoy it and more from me afterwards. :-)

Well. Over the month-long winter break, I never once got a chance to get the answers I needed.

I had left Nick numerous Facebook messages, text messages, and even voice mails, but the only thing I ever got back was one text saying "I can't talk now. Call me later."

And according to his Facebook (which is always where a college student goes to find, or I mean stalk, people and the events that happened in their lives), he was still happily 'in a relationship' with Kaila. Plus, there was even pictures to prove that happiness. And of course, every time Nick was tagged in a picture, it was always one with Kaila hanging all over him. Every time I saw one of those pictures, any hope I had that Nick was actually sincere that last day before break slightly declined.

I arrived back on campus to Nick already in our room, unpacking.

To say the initial conversations were awkward was an understatement. We tried to make some small talk, asking how each other's breaks were, and so on. Finally, I decided to break the ice, mostly because I wanted answers.

"So. Why didn't you return any of my calls or messages?"

Nick immediately became on guard. "I'm sorry. I meant to call you back all those times… I really did mean to get back to you."

I simply rolled my eyes. "Well, we both are here now, so I need to get this out in the open. Did you really mean to do what you did that day? The kiss, I mean. 'Cause I really need to know."

Nick would not make eye contact with me, and had resorted to playing with the ties on his hooded sweatshirt. "Uhhh... I don't know?" He answered questionably, not giving me a straight answer.

"Look, it's not that difficult of a question. Did you like making out with me or not?"

"Well, yeah, I did…"

I smiled a bit at that remark. "So, you like boys then." I said matter-of-factly.

Nick's head shot up. "No!" He cried out, his good eye looking like a deer in a headlight, but immediately caught himself. "I mean, I… Well, Kaila's a girl and I still like her…" He trailed off.

At the Kaila-comment, everything changed. "Of course. I knew you were just playing with me."

"Ceej, no, I swear, I'm not. It's just…"

"Just what? Just that you like fucking with people's minds?"

"No! Will you just listen to me?"

By that time, I was really pissed off, so I started rambling on and on about what he did, cursing my head off. In the middle of my ranting, Nick, I'm guessing, got fed up with me, and cut me off by pressing his lips onto my own.

Almost instantly, I found myself melting into Nick's kiss, my mind whirling with thoughts of how wonderful it felt. But then my better senses kicked in, and I shoved him away. I must have pushed harder than I thought, as Nick wound up falling backward onto his bed, and he stared up at me in shock.

I stood there for a moment, reeling with anger, hurt, and confusion, before I finally found a response. "You do NOT get to kiss me like that. It's…" I trailed off, staring at him, and eventually just gave up. "..It's just not fair."

Without a second glance, I turned my back to Nick and walked out of the room. It basically took all my strength not to turn around when Nick began protesting my exiting. I headed straight for Emily's room, but unfortunately for me, she was not there.

So instead, I opted to go for a walk around campus to clear my head.

He kissed me again. Right after he told me he was still with Kaila. What the hell was I supposed to think of that?

He couldn't just fuck with my emotions like that. First, we were best friends, then he found out I was gay and completely shut me out, then suddenly he confessed everything and kissed me. He had some time to think after that kiss, and I guess came to a decision that it was a mistake. Which I could have eventually dealt with. But then if he still wanted to be with Kaila, why did he kiss me again?

Why did the world hate me?

The boy that I really liked finally kissed me, but no, of course nothing could go perfectly for me. My love life had to be cursed.

After almost making an entire circle around the campus, I finally had an epiphany. Nick was confused about his sexuality. It had to be the case!

I felt really stupid for not having seen it before, as Nick's behavior was basically a classic in the confusion stage. I smiled at my dumb self, and headed back toward the dorms, hoping Nick was still there so we could talk this through.

No such luck.

Well, technically Nick was in our dorm room. But so were all his friends who hate me so much.

As soon as I entered the room, I wished I hadn't, as I heard the ever present call of, "Hey, if it isn't Queer Boy?" from Jack, one of Nick's friends, which was always followed by rounds of laughter as if that was the most hilarious thing any of them has ever heard.

I simply glared at them, putting on a front that I didn't care. But of course, hearing Nick laughing at that comment with his friends hurt so much. Not just because he had kissed me a mere few hours before and might possibly be gay/bisexual/whatever the hell he was, but because… well… I don't know. I guess it was because of the fact that I actually really like him,

I quickly grabbed a jacket (it had gotten cold out), and left the room. But as I was leaving, I heard someone say something along the lines of 'I can't believe you have another entire semester to live with that fag,' to Nick, which I heard him reply just as the door was shutting, "Yeah, I just hope he doesn't try to kiss me like he did last semester."

I almost turned around and corrected them, but I held back my anger. What was up with Nick saying that? I tried to kiss him? What was his problem? I had just come to the happy conclusion that Nick was confused and that's why he had acted that way, but then he went and pulled that crap. I couldn't deal with his mood swings.

For some reason, I thought this semester was going to be different. I had in my head these happy daydreams where Nick and I were together, and everyone would eventually except us for who we were. And even though the Nick-and-I-being-together thing might not happen (at least right now it won't), I wished people would just grow up and stop bashing me. Ok, I know the bashing won't ever completely stop, even after college, but I just… I had enough of this bullshit in high school, and I wanted it to stop.

It wasn't until late that night that Nick and I were able to talk one-on-one. My mind was spinning with what I wanted to say.

I cornered him in our room after he returned. "Nick, we need to talk."

He sighed, but nodded his head in agreement. "Before you say anything, I… I'm sorry… About what my friends said to you earlier."

"But not about what you said back to them?" I retorted back, my anger rising.

He bit his lip. "You heard that?" I nodded. "Shit, you weren't supposed to hear that."

"Oh, so now you're gonna talk shit about me behind my back? Thanks a lot."

"Ceej, please. I had to say that, they expect it from me. But I swear, I don't mean a word of it."

"Whatever, I don't need this crap, especially from you." I pushed past him, trying to get out the room, but he blocked me.

"I thought you said we needed to talk. And we do, in a non-confrontational way."

"Whatever. But just know I am in no mood for bullshit." He nodded meekly, and I continued. "Fine. Then I'm just going to get this out in the open right away… Nick, what are you exact feelings for me?"

With a sigh, Nick muttered, "I knew you were going to ask me that eventually." He took a deep breath, and slowly let it out before responding. "Okay…well… I, kinda, uh…" He sighed again, mumbling under his breath, 'this is harder than I thought.'

I sat down next to him on his bed. "Take your time. I know things like this are hard to say."

He smiled a bit, and took another deep breath. "CJ, I… I think I might be gay. Or bi. Or something… God, I'm so frickin' confused!" He buried his hands in his head in frustration.

Inside, I freaked out. Nick just admitted to me that he might be gay. This was huge. But on the outside, I had to play my role, as I knew from experience how hard it was to Nick to even admit that.

I touched his shoulder, trying my hardest to comfort him. "That's a big step, Nick, telling me that. And don't feel like you're the only one feeling that way… Back in sophomore year of high school, I was going through that same confusion. It gets easier, trust me."

Slowly, his hands disappeared from his face, and he smiled at me. "I knew you'd understand."

Suddenly, his lips were on my again. I wasn't sure if kissing him was the smartest idea, but right then and there, I couldn't resist him. I melted against his touch, quickly falling back on his bed, with him on top of me.

The simple kiss had escalated into a full-blown make-out session, complete with groping and hands roaming all over. For someone who was apparently 'confused' about his sexuality, Nick had gone from a straight homophobe to rainbow-loving queer in seconds. As the kiss progressed, I randomly had a thought cross my mind that scared me: Kaila. What was going to happen with that? But that thought disappeared as quickly as it came when Nick went from kissing my lips to my neck, as I went into a complete state of bliss.

Until we were jarred from our blissful state with "HOLY FUCK. You're a fag too?"

Shit. That was not good.

A/N: My muses were all over the place. I literally had to change my outline like five times because of this stupid chapter. haha

So... yeah... This fic won 3rd Place Most Promising Fic in the most recent NML FF Awards (thanks to anyone who vote for it!), and because of that, I was inspired/encouraged to write this chapter. YAY.

In other news, I've been extremely busy with college and such (second semester just started... yippe... lol), and I don't have anything (besides an outline) for the next chapter, so I don't know when the next chapter will be out... Sometime relatively soon, hopefully.

A big THANK YOU to all my loverly reviewers, and as you all know, it's that time again... REVIEW:-)

-Braids