This chapter is pretty short actually compared to the other chapters but it's just as great! =) Needy's POV for you. How are you guys liking the story so far? 500+ hits! Woohoo.

I felt a strange, warm sensation rising up inside of me

Oh, like a tidal wave came from nowhere swept me off my feet

Oh, but somehow making me complete now

Whatever I do, I am under the influence of you

~James Morrison - Under the Influence~

Disclaim, disclaim disclaim...

My life has never been interesting. Everything has always been played out in a routine that I designed for myself. I know every single detail of my plan and nothing throws me off because I know how to get my state of mental equilibrium back. I've learned to compartmentalize and I had to learn the hard way, too. My parents dying really threw me out of my element. I was thriving in school, getting all the good grades, had a great circle of friends. And then they just died. Fucking car accident on the freeway.

From then on, my life was basically thrown into the fast lane. I had to be strong for my brother and take care of him. We stayed with our foster parents until we both got our life rhythms back on track enough for us to venture out on our own. I couldn't even cry everyday or else William would cry too and the thought of acting selfishly in front of our foster parents was a big deal for me because I wasn't that kind of person. I appreciated their efforts into making our lives better after the tragic event but it just wasn't the same for either of us. They were good people, but they couldn't ever be able to replace the people that my brother and I had lost.

Then one night I was just realized that having everything all messed up inside wasn't the way that I should live for either Will or I. Hence the idea of compartmentalization. There was one part of me that was reserved for my pained emotions, another for working, another for being strong for my brother and the list went on. It's worked well enough for me so far to survive to this day with a healthy mental state of mind. I have a stable job of being a writer, a great boyfriend who truly loves me, and I'm perpetually happy.

So why do I suddenly feel like I want to change the direction of my life? I feel so thrown off-course because…of Jennifer? I don't want to contemplate on it any longer but lately, she's all I've been able to think about. I really do wonder how she got through all of my 'compartments' and managed to mess it all up again. The conversations that we have are so easy and spontaneous which makes me believe that we've known each other since we were little kids playing in sandboxes.

At the same time though, I hate that she throws me off of my element. I've got everything set for me now and I never wanted it to jeopardize it for anything. But she makes me want to. I don't know what kind of attraction is happening between us but I am so sure that she is going to become one of those people in my life that I'd invite to my wedding. I know that she feels the connection too because I can see how the protection in her eyes sometimes falters when we our eyes meet even for an instance. It's as if for that infinitesimal moment, there are no pretenses, we're both stripped to our bare souls, no little boxes or masks, and neither of us is running away from it--from each other. Then again, it only lasts for a millisecond and we're back on either side of this wall that I'm pretty sure was built for her benefit. Why it was there in the first place, I didn't know.

Thinking about her now makes me want to jump out of bed and be with her again. Just to hang out and have fun. I realized that the monotony of my life deserves a little spontaneity and Jennifer brings it out of me—like the time I told her about my old nickname. That isn't something that I normally share with anybody because it's sort of a personal thing between my brother and I. Naturally, I had told Rafael about it but he laughed at the funny ring it had to it and that had made me not want to tell anybody else. And then I go telling Jennifer. God, I remember feeling the anxiety right after blurting but I channeled it into something else. Hopefully, she didn't see it. I just want to be me around her and I wished it the same for her. I don't know what she's shielding herself against.

"Babe?" I'd been lying on the bed I shared with Rafael who had been writing in his planner. I swear, sometimes he loved that thing more than me. Only sometimes.

"Hm?"

"I want to get a tattoo." I didn't know what propelled me to blurt that out, but having crazy thoughts running through my mind has been influencing my actions lately. I finally bought contacts but I never had the chance to wear them. I actually created a Tumblr account against my better judgment. I've actually encouraged Rafael to try out new sex positions with me (some of which require actual flexibility—a skill I have yet to acquire). Yes, something has definitely taken over me.

Rafael closed his planner and cocked his head at me, probably wondering where his real girlfriend went and who this imposter was laying in front of him. "Like for real?"

I sort of did a half-shrug, half-nodding gesture as I propped myself up against my pillow. "Well, sort of. What do you think? Would you get mad?" Some people were very conservative and against liberal acts and I thought that with Rafael's Roman Catholic background, he would have a problem with some ink on my skin.

"Of course not, babe. I actually think it's kind of hot." He smiled mischievously at me as he moved closer to where I was on the bed. He wasn't wearing any top, just his old, plaid boxers that I love seeing him in.

"What kind of tattoo did you have in mind?" I was shocked that he was open to the idea. Nevertheless, I answered him anyway.

I'm a nerd because I actually researched on the Internet about tattoo design possibilities. I discovered that I had an affinity for Japanese characters or kanji, as they are called. The mystery about them and their ancient meanings really fascinated me. It was either that or a nice tribal design that would look really cool. "I'm thinking of getting a Japanese symbol 'cause they're kind of cool," I added, sounding like a total dork.

He moved even closer to me to the point that I could perfectly smell his aftershave and feel his body heat against my normally cool skin. His curly hairs on his leg were rubbing against my calf and I giggled quietly. I loved this playful side of Rafael and I love the fact that despite his hectic schedule and erratic duties, he can still find time to be with me. Our relationship, I think, is almost perfect because we know almost everything about each other and we're each other's best friend. We're almost too close for comfort and that's ultimately satisfying especially now in a world full of mistrusting people.

I don't have anything against people with façades or anything because it only means that they had such a sad past that would make them face their future with a shield up to their eyes. They have every right to that and I know I'm not a hypocrite because I wouldn't consider my compartmentalization a defense mechanism. It's the only way that I can organize my thoughts into their proper place. With Rafael nuzzling into my neck, he was making it more difficult than it already was.

"So where were you planning to put it?" He whispered into my ear as his hand began to trail the length of my leg. My breath hitched in my throat but I threw him an innocent look.

"Well, I don't know really," I began thoughtfully. "I'd love one on my back, like above my shoulder blade or on my arm maybe." He didn't seem to be listening though because he pulled me even closer to him so that I was lying down underneath him.

"You know where I want your tattoo to be?" He held my gaze.

"Right here," His fingertip traced my neck down towards my hipbone. He pushed my shorts down enough to expose my right hip and what he liked to call my 'happy trail'. "Right on your hip. That's where I want it." He began drawing his finger all over my hip to my belly button, making me squirm under him.

"Why there?" Barely whispering, I couldn't contain myself anymore. I started to place open-mouthed kisses all over his neck and loosely wrapped my arms around his lithe form.

"Because," He bent down to claim my mouth with his. "Then, I'd be the only one to see it." He added in between sultry kisses. My senses were going haywire with him doing magic on my body that I succumbed to the feeling of him moving over me.

I may have been changing, but I wouldn't want to change this for anything.

How long before she changes her mind? Tell me in a review!