Yeah it's late...a bit. I have no excuse besides that law is really boring :/ and has tons of homework. I would plead the fifth, but I'm not American. I'm Canadian, so in accordance to section 11-C of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms I have the right not to give any evidence or testimony that could incriminate me. Thank you to everyone who reviewed! And...*gives cookie to SilverHeart09*
Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or Barbie. I know you thought I did, and I am so sorry to disappoint you.
Tony stared at the ceiling, unable to tear his eyes away. There was Captain America, clinging to a chain dangling down low enough that he was just exposed to the flashing lights. And he was dressed in a sparkly red, white, and blue miniskirt. His bare chest and neck was covered in red lipstick marks, like someone had attacked him with their lips. Steve's face was caked with makeup and glitter. Noticing the dumbfounded man below him, Rogers gazed at him with pleading eyes, clearly saying, "Get me out of here." The genius grinned, shaking his head and pointing to his watch, mouthing, "One hour..." The soldier groaned, but it quickly changed to a shriek as the chain he was holding onto creaked under his weight and he fell into the middle of the dance floor.
Stark cracked up, watching as all the men gave sarcastic catcalls to the flustered captain. Steve raced into the washroom, and Tony followed, unwilling to contain his hysterics. Rogers was splashing his face repeatedly with water, trying to get all the makeup off, but it seemed impossible.
"Why won't it just come off already!" the soldier growled, scrubbing his burning face with paper towel.
The billionaire chortled and leaned heavily against the counter, "It's waterproof!"
Steve just sighed, "I was flocked by some young ladies, and they did this to me. It's strange, their leader looked vaguely like Natasha, but with blonde hair and purple eyes. How long have we been here for Stark?"
"You're like a constant downer aren't ya?" Tony rolled his eyes and checked his watch, "Only twenty minutes."
"WHAT?! BUT IT'S BEEN ETERNITY!"
"Hey," called a strange voice, "could you keep it down? Some people are trying to take a piss here!"
Tony turned on his heel and calmly walked out of the bathroom, "Let's find your clothes."
"You two are gay? Gross dude!" the voice called out.
Rogers huffed, "No we're not. You just don't understand the situation."
"I think I understand all I need to know," the person quipped back.
The inventor poked his head back in, "Capsicle! Don't bother arguing with the person in the stall, come on!"
It took a while, but the two men finally found Steve's clothes...in a vent. "Strange..." thought the genius. He waited until Cap was done changing before abandoning him to look for his group of ladies again. Rogers followed after him like a lost puppy, eyes shifting to look carefully around the room.
"Time?"
"Thirty-five minutes, keep it up Spangles," Tony turned around and promptly bumped into the blonde haired, purple eyed woman Steve had described. "She does look like Natashalie..." The girl zeroed in on the soldier, and smiled innocently, "accidentally" throwing a bottle of strong perfume on the horrified man.
Tony laughed, then gagged, holding his nose and clapping Cap on the shoulder, "They really got it out for you tonight." He quickly whipped out his cell and sent a text to the Black Widow, Send me the pics ;) His phone blipped soon after, Sure, but there's a price...expect it soon. Stark shrugged, there was nothing he couldn't pay.
What neither of the men were expecting, was for one of the ladies to sidle up behind him and push him into the cap's arms. The other women took notice and squealed, gathering around them and cheering, "DANCE! DANCE! DANCE!" Steve glanced down at Tony who turned to a woman that looked suspiciously like Clint. The Clint-woman smirked and held up a camera, the following flash temporarily blinding the playboy. Rogers flushed bright red, and quickly pushed Stark away from him, ignoring the disappointed groans from the ladies gathered. The crowd of girls had grown, apparently the sight of two men drew them in like flies to poo (A/N: a great comparison I know).
Tony whipped out his phone, Come on Tasha I can pay any amount of money you want! He almost died at the response, I know. That's why this is my price. Do it or no pictures for blackmail. The billionaire grinned despite the situation, How do you know I want to use them for blackmail? Rogers gave him a strange look at the laugh he emitted, Stark, we both know you're not gay, no matter how much you act it. Tony shoved the phone in his pocket after a quick reply, Touche.
The genius suddenly put his hands on an unsuspecting Steve's hips, if he was going to have to dance with Capsicle, then he absolutely was not going to let him lead. The soldier let out an undignified squeak, watching as all the women screamed happily while Tony lead him into a dance. Rogers absently recognized that the song was slow, which was why they were dancing more traditionally. He let out a frantic whisper, "Stark! What are you doing?!"
"Just dance with me Spangles, it's all for the camera. Trust me, we have to do this, I got a message on my cell saying that we had to dance or else."
Steve blushed even more if that was possible, "Fine," he moved Tony's hands to wrap around his neck, putting his own to rest on the inventor's hips, "then I get to lead."
When the song ended, the embarrassed men quickly separated and turned to head towards the bar. Stark saw Natasha and the Clint-woman disappear into an air duct near a plant in the far corner of the room and chuckled, pulling out his cell once more, Happy? He put it away again after reading the response, It was acceptable.
"Time?" Steve looked at him with begging eyes.
"Fifty minutes. Only ten more to go, you're doing great Capsicle!"
The genius downed a drink and Rogers opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a strange, yet somewhat familiar voice, "Hey!" Both Avengers turned to see a young redhead marching towards them, he was wearing a leather jacket and his grey eyes were flashing with amusement.
"Yes?" Stark drawled.
"I though you guys said you weren't gay," the collage aged boy crossed his arms.
Steve sputtered, "We're not!"
"Suuuure. Hey, aren't you guys apart of the Avengers?"
The playboy shifted to face the young man, "Yeah, I'm Iron Man and this is Captain America. What's your name kid?"
"Gay-vengers? Wow, I don't think anyone expected that, and I'm Ryan."
"Oh come on!" the captain whined, "We're NOT gay!"
Ryan nodded his head, "Uh-huh, whatever you say. This will make the front page!"
Tony snapped to attention, "What? Front page?" he sounded almost...panicked.
Ryan smirked, "Woops, didn't I tell you? I'm a journalist. Nice dancing by the way, I got lots of pictures." he held up an expensive looking camera before walking away.
"NOOOOOOO!" The billionaire dramatically flung his arms around, "This will ruin my public image! We're leaving Rogers, before this gets even worse."
Steve looked up at a clock near the bartender, "Well, it has been an hour. So...mission accomplished. Sort of."
May 12, 2012
I'm doomed! My reputation has gone to the dogs and I will die! Now everyone's going to think Spangles and I are gay. And we are absolutely NOT. The only good thing I got out of yesterday was blackmailing pictures of Cap in a miniskirt. Let me tell you what I have learned recently.
Fact 1: Clint is either a manly-woman or a womanly-man. I can't decide, maybe I should ask Natashalie to confirm his gender. He honestly rocks the black wigs.
Fact 2: Thor is afraid of mice, I was in my lab and I heard him. He was all like, "BEHOLD! A FOUL BEAST HAS APPEARED! I SHALL VANQUISH IT WITH MY MIGHTY HAMMER!" and then later on I went upstairs and he was balancing on the island counter while the mouse ran around beneath him. I think his brave shouting was all a facade.
Fact 3: Meanwhile Bruce is afraid of cockroaches, I was getting a coffee and noticed one near the kitchen sink. I jumped and Banner came along and was like, "Oh don't worry it's just a little- HOLY CRAP IT'S HUGE!" Then he smashed it with his book. I think his Hulk was showing.
Fact 4: I think Thor used to play with dolls or something when he was a kid. Seriously, that guy can pick up things with his big hands more gently than a man his size should be able to. Maybe it was Loki who roped him into playing with the Asgardian version of Barbie or something...
Fact 5: Never EVER try to crawl through the vents if you have not been professionally trained to do so. I tried, and after getting stuck fifty gazillion times, stumbled upon a hole made through the vent and into the drywall. The things I found in Clint's nest there are to horrible to describe. Stuff like mouldy apple pie, a pair of Pepper's earrings that she's been looking for, A page ripped out of Bruce's book, which bothered him to no end since the book was incomplete. He almost Hulked out, just because he couldn't read the ending. So I bought him another copy. I also found some tin scraps (don't know why he has them) and one of Cap's socks (ya hear that Spangles? That's where your socks are all disappearing to).
Fact 6: Natasha has a knife equipped to every piece of clothing she owns. I was searching through her closet and when I pick up a slipper I almost stabbed myself in the hand. There was a secret compartment on the side which held a mini-knife that had gotten loose. I don't know how she doesn't feel them...
Fact 7: Amazingly, Fury is very OCD. I went into his office and he had thirteen pencils all perfectly lined up. So of course I had to shift them to odd angles. I watched as he came in and carefully moved each pencil back into place. So when he left I tossed them around again, then he came back and tediously lined them up once more. We repeated this process about seven times before he got angry and banned me from his office for the rest of the day.
Tony tiredly rubbed his eyes, last night was hilarious but he had a slight hangover and it was still early for him. Yep, ten o clock came early. He absently wondered how Steve was feeling, but knowing the supersoldier he was perfectly fine. The inventor looked down once again at the pictures of the captain in makeup, glitter, and a miniskirt. He chuckled tiredly and got up, heading to the kitchen for coffee.
Stark evilly cracked his knuckles, making Bruce wince, the doctor hated little noises like that. Plopping down next to his friend, Tony slurped his coffee loudly, earning an irritated glance. He was tyring to see if he could make Banner Hulk out, it was a ritual he did every morning. Tony grabbed a pen from the coffee table and repeatedly clicked the end, watching as Bruce's knuckles tightened and turned white around the book he was reading.
Steve walked in, snapping his fingers in a rhythm known only to him, not noticing how the scientist gritted his teeth. Grabbing an apple, the Avenger's leader turned around to greet the other men but stop and quickly left the room after seeing the green tint to Banner's skin. Tony grinned, now was the perfect time to activate his main torture device. The playboy pulled out a taser and after turning it on, touched his friend's arm with it.
Bruce let out an angry roar as his shirt began to rip, skin turning green as he grew into the Hulk.
Well that's it for today! Review please! They make my day more than a follow or favourite could :) *shameless bribing*