Finally another chapter you guys! Sorry for the wait! But honestly, the fact I'm even updating at all (I tend to abandon stories) is a miracle. All the comments/faves/follows really helped motivate me so thank you and please keep up the awesome motivating! Every time I get an email notification it reminds me that I should really write another chapter and today I was finally like fucking shit I should really get on that shit. Fo' reals. So here we are!

Enjoy! ^^

Also, for the casino/hotel picture the one from the Bond movie. This one:

www . /userimages/Skyfall13. jpg

and this is the city:

.blogspot -3g9wtguCrzg/UTUKU7LxCLI/AAAAAAAAB9w/kNH5cklOpD4/s1600/Macau. jpg

minus the spaces^

Warnings for this chapter: copious amounts of non-con/dub-con, unwanted branding, and slight aspects of torture(whipping)

~X~

True to his word, Eren didn't come back.

It was an entire two years later before he saw either Erwin or Levi again and honestly, that was probably a good thing. It had taken him a while to heal from 'the encounter', as he was calling it in his mind. The brunette didn't get therapy or drown himself in alcohol and drugs like most would. Instead he simply plastered a smile on his face and kept moving forward.

Fake it till you make it, they always say.

So that's what he did. He pretended to be ok and happy and acted like getting drugged and raped didn't bother him. He pretended to be fine until one day, eight months later, he woke up and he actually was. Over time it became so that it slowly didn't bother him as much anymore. The former soldier would never be the same and things were never going to be perfectly fine ever again—time didn't move backwards after all—but eventually it just slotted into the back of his mind somewhere and was generally forgotten.

Sometimes things would trigger him and force him to relive moments or remember the pain he felt, but in general he really was fine. Eren was quite embarrassed though. About Levi. He was afraid to talk to the man again, not because he thought he would drag him down, but because he felt like he had made such a fool of himself the last time he had been with the raven. By breaking down like he had in front of the older soldier, he had opened himself up and shown the other such an emotional and vulnerable side of himself which he usually kept hidden. It felt wrong and just thinking about it made Eren shiver with distaste. He hated himself for it. So he avoided the parts of town he knew they frequented, he avoided the club he had seen them at, and he avoided Levi's house.

He so desperately wanted to see and be seen by that kindred soul, but he also was so terrified of what the man would say or think. It was definitely a feeling which he was unaccustomed to and since he didn't know how to feel about the incident and his actions, the brunette simply tried never to think about it.

But then here he was two years later and two years older and they were meeting again. This time it wasn't even in Sina, Trost, Maria, or any of the cities that existed before the war. After the last meeting with Levi he had continued working up the ranks of those who provided pleasure. He went from streetwalker to stripper to one of those people you saw dancing in a window. That was when everything changed. He had caught the eye of an escort agency one night when he was on a window shift—there were two types of shifts at that particular place, the one where you danced in the window and the one where you fucked in the back, and on that night he was on the first one.

The escort agency hired him on the spot and from then on his clients became either the incredibly rich or the ridiculously well known. It worked out well for a while until one of his regulars decided that they no longer wanted to share Eren. Normally at this point the agency would simply terminate the client's contract and no longer allow them to purchase his services but this man was not the average customer. He was high up in the underground, the head of an incredibly powerful yakuza group. So, unfortunately for the former soldier there was nothing that could be done.

The man simply lifted a finger and said 'mine' and all of a sudden Eren went from being a somewhat wealthy and independent escort to being the property of another human being. His life was no longer his own. The brunette had lost everything—his apartment had been sold, his job contract terminated, and his personal belongings destroyed.

They even moved him to another city since the yakuza, which now owned him, was one of the groups that had ventured out of the walls once the war had been over. They had ended up taking partial control of one of the beautiful ocean side villages which had popped up only a day's ride from Maria. On the surface it was a modern new city which attracted those interested in vacationing or exploring just a little ways outside the walls but underneath it was a city run by the yakuza. There was drug trafficking, human trafficking, and murders by the dozen. It was the type of place where people often disappeared when they had unpopular opinions.

And poor little Eren was right in the middle of it. He was the number one whore for the head of everything. The brunette was expected to look like a million dollars of sensual desire as he followed the older man around and spread his legs like butter at his every whim. Sometimes he was even used as a party favor or as a sexual object to sweeten a deal with a business partner.

If he tried to escape or act out he was punished severely. He was left with a myriad of scars to go along with the tattooed on brand he received when he was first taken. The healing abilities the brunette had when he was younger had long since dulled and only served to heal his various injuries slightly faster than an average human. However, most of the time he wasn't abused too badly. They didn't want him looking like shit after all, he was the boss' top slut. He was expected to be beautiful.

Sometimes though, things got a little rough at parties. One night, in what Eren thinks was meant to be a gesture of power, his owner—and fuck if he didn't absolutely abhor that word with a burning passion—forced him down, tied him to a table, and had him whipped and fucked at the same time. Supposedly, it made him tighter since he clenched up every time the whip snapped down onto his bleeding back.

Of course the next day was the one he happened to run into the two people he both never wanted to see again and desperately wished to run away with—aka fucking Levi and Erwin decided to check into the incredibly luxurious hotel and casino he was currently unwillingly living in the penthouse of with the yakuza boss.

Which was totally great.

But not really.

Erwin was the first to recognize him, but Levi wasn't too far behind. In all honestly, the brunette hadn't expected them to recognize him at all. Since becoming what was essentially a slave he had been forced to let his hair grow and it now reached a little above his shoulders. That, in combination with the mandatory eyeliner and the midnight black silk yakuta adorned with a golden dragon on the back—the symbol of the yakuza—Eren was pretty sure he was almost unrecognizable. However, Levi and Erwin were not to be underestimated. They were ex-soldiers after all, and their eyes were sharp and observant.

Even though they were on opposite sides of the casino, with the younger soldier barely lit up by a few glowing lamps where he was standing near the edge of the water, they were able to spot him. There was a moment were everything seemed to freeze around them as the three stared each other down, and then Levi was rushing towards him and suddenly everything was happening way too fast.

All Eren can remember was the raven shouting, "I thought you were dead! I fucking looked for you, you piece of shit!" with such a distinctly devastated look of hatred on his face and Erwin holding him back with an equally contemptuous rage scrawled across his expression in big bold letters. The brunette was sure someone must have dragged them away since they were making such a commotion but all he could remember was his heart breaking as he stood there motionless, unable to defend himself, unable to even cry.

They hated him. He had hurt them—unintentionally and against his will—but regardless, they hated him.

Levi hated him.

The only person left in this world who he cared about couldn't even look at him without having a breakdown.

For the longest time Eren had just been surviving. After what had happened two years ago it had taken him a while to be ok, and he had been for a few months. But then the yakuza had taken him and his life fell apart. The former soldier had wanted to be ok so badly that until just then he had simply been trying to live on autopilot, numb and uncaring what they did to him—to his body. But this changed everything. Seeing those two again reopened wounds and carved out new ones. He couldn't be numb anymore.

He couldn't.

Because Levi hated him. Because Erwin hated him.

He wasn't sure what he had done but clearly he had hurt them deeply. Maybe he shouldn't have been so selfish and gone back instead of walking away from them. If he had none of them would be here now. It was all his fault if he really thought about it. Even the fact that he was forced into sex on a regular basis and degradedusedabusedbroken was his fault.

If he hadn't been a titan, if he hadn't let Mikasa save his life, if he had protected Armin, if he hadn't been an addict or a whore or a selfish horrible disgusting excuse of a human being—not even human really—none of this would have happened. Everything would have been perfect if he had never existed in the first place.

No, actually that was wrong. Because they needed him to end the war.

What should have happened was that he should have died. Months ago, years ago even. There was a perfect moment somewhere along the road for him to have kicked the bucket and he missed it. Where was it? Where did he go wrong?

At the end of the war?

No, it was when Mikasa died. He should have gone in her place. The war had ended only three weeks later. Yes, it should have been then. They hadn't really needed him anymore at that point. If he had died at that particular point in time then Mikasa and Armin would be alive and Levi and Erwin could have been happy together. It was all because of him that their lives were destroyed. And every second that he kept on living was another second of torture and destruction for others. Perhaps if died then they could move on and be content. That's all he wanted in the end, for the ones he loved to be happy.

That was all he ever wanted and all his life that was the one thing taken from him. First his mother, then his father, then Mikasa and Armin, and lastly Erwin and Levi. Everyone he ever tried to make happy ended up dead or devastated. If he could just quit now then that would be the end of it. He could get out of the way and stop dragging others down.

He wasn't doing anything good with his life anyways. Nothing worth living for. He was just a puppet on a string with two holes. He danced to a tune and spread his legs and that was his life. Bend over, suck this, fuck that, look pretty, and don't forget who you belong to.

In other words, a waste of space. There were only two things he was good for and the titans were already extinct so what was he still doing here?

Absolutely nothing.

~X~

Eight hours later and he was pulling himself out of the bed were the yakuza boss and his friend were still sleeping. He could feel dried semen on his thighs and crusted blood on his back. He could feel the warm sea breeze flowing in from the open balcony doors. Pulling on his black yukata, Eren reapplied his eyeliner, straightened out his hair from the mess it had been pulled into by four tugging hands, and walked over to the balcony.

They were in the penthouse, on the top floor of the casino. It was high up and the brunette could see the sun rising. It was beautiful and calming and the waves crashing on the shore directly below were breathtaking in the early morning light. Almost everyone was still asleep since people tended to have late nights when visiting places like these, and that meant the noise was minimal. He could hear birds chirping in the distance and the occasional sound from far away, but the height of the floor the brunette was on added a slight sound barrier and muffled the noises of the life below.

The silence was beautiful.

The sunrise was beautiful.

The white sand was beautiful.

And the ocean was especially beautiful as he climbed over the railing and propelled himself towards it.

He felt like he was flying.

He had always wanted to visit the ocean. Ever since Armin had read him that book as a child and told him about the far-off lands with the glowing light of the sun in his blueblueblue eyes Eren had thought, 'it must be magical to visit the ocean.'

Though this wasn't what the two young children had envisioned when they had talked about it, it was the closest the brunette was going to get. And since Armin never got the chance, it was only right that he took this opportunity.

It was only right.

~X~

A/N: Ok, guys, so we have two options here. Either the story can end here with Eren dying or the story can continue with his suicide attempt failing. Please let me know which you prefer by leaving a comment/review! If the story continues it'll probably start getting happier and the romance between Levi/Eren and maybe Erwin mixed in(if you guys want, let me know in a comment!) will pick up. So drop me a comment/review and help me decide! Thanks lovelies~ ^^