Part 4: What Has She Done?
"I don't think love has the same meaning in Israel as it does in America." Tony was walking with Tim on the way back to the bullpen from the evidence garage. "You should have seen the way she was playing with that rubber band. Do you think she understood what Abby meant this morning about the replacement keys?"
"Oh, yeah." Tim smirked. "She asked me how to get rid of them while you were meeting with Gibbs."
"Great. I'm done for."
"Do you think she's going to kill you?" Tim waited on tenterhooks to hear Tony's response to Ziva's 'I love you.'
"No." Tony said and Tim relaxed. "Remember the prank war that we carried on during the stakeout when we were watching the stolen radar?"
"Yes. You looked great with raccoon eyes."
"Thanks. She's going to try to get even."
"What do you think she'll do?"
"I don't know, but it's going to be good. I had that thing in place on her computer for over two weeks."
"Yes, I heard all of the swearing. I picked up quite a few new phrases. I wish I knew what they all meant."
The elevator opened to their floor and they stepped off. Ziva was just leaving to visit the archives. She smirked at Tony as she left with a stack of folders in her arms.
Tony was alarmed. "Wait. She was here. Alone. With my stuff."
He ran to his desk and checked the drawer in which he kept his extra-curricular reading material. Tony pulled out the latest issue of GSM and flipped through it. He sighed with relief when he found the magazine was present, accounted for, and in pristine condition.
"What do you think she will do?" Amused, Tim leaned against his desk.
"I don't know, but it's going to be big." Tony began to check his chair for signs of tampering. "Big, like taking a desk drawer, lining it with a plastic bag, and then filling it with water and a couple of goldfish."
"What?"
"I did that to the chief's desk in Peoria just before I left. He mounted a full investigation—had forensics up there and everything—but he never identified the perpetrator. It was probably one of my finest moments."
"If you say so."
Tony was on his knees checking out the underside of his desk when Abby walked in. "What in the world are you doing?"
"Tony thinks Ziva's trying to get even for the replacement keys prank." Tim was still watching. This experiment had become extremely entertaining.
"I know she's done something, but what?" Tony stared at his desktop. "My stapler. There's something different about it."
"It looks the same to me."
"No, it's too shiny. I bet she tried the old Vaseline on the stapler trick." He pulled a tissue and gingerly picked up the stapler.
Tim examined the tissue. "It's clean."
"Okay, it's not the stapler. What else looks different?" His eyes roamed over the desktop. "That pen! That's not my pen."
"You're right, that's…" Abby started.
"Just like the exploding pen I saw online the other day. Stand back, I'm going to crush it."
"Wait, Tony! That's…" Abby protested as Tony stomped on the pen. Ink squirted out.
"Oops."
"…My pen." She finished with a scowl. "I must have left it here at lunch."
"Sorry." He said absently as he analyzed his desktop.
"Tony, what are you going to do about the ink stain on the carpet?" Tim asked.
"I'll deal with it later. Maybe I'll have my probie, who asks so many questions, deal with it for me. You know, reflecting on the raccoon eyes she gave me last time, I think she'll stick with the classics. How about," he reached for the phone, "toothpaste on the earpiece."
"It's clean, too." Abby smirked. "Maybe you should have installed a hidden camera."
"Abby, that's it!" Tony brightened at the idea. "The security tape footage of the bullpen. Can you get it for me?"
"I could, but we'd have to ask the director for his approval."
"Why?"
"We would need permission to invade everyone's privacy."
"It's a public building, there is no such thing as privacy." Tony scoffed.
"Maybe not, but I'm not allowed to pull footage unless something's really hinky; like when that psycho swak lady sent us the Y. pestis."
"Something is really hinky. Ziva is going to prank me and it's going to be epic. As in stealing-all-of-your-clothing-while-you're-in-the-shower-after-gym-class-so-you-have-to-run-through-the-hallways-in-a-towel-to-your-locker kind of epic."
"I don't think that's a good enough reason, Tony." Abby warned and Tim straightened up in response to Vance's entrance into the bullpen.
"Sure it is. You could do it easily. No one ever has to know."
"Know what, Agent DiNozzo?"
"Know that Abby can bowl over a 200 in the tournament this weekend." Tony winced and said the first thing that came to mind as he turned to face the director.
"Why would she want to keep that a secret?"
"Well, she's not the boasting kind, sir. I just wanted to encourage her to do her best." He looked imploringly at the others.
"That's right, Director." To his surprise, Tim found himself helping Tony. "Abby sometimes hides her talents so that others aren't intimidated."
"Really." The director seemed unconvinced, but willing to drop his questioning. "Are you discussing anything besides Ms. Scuito's bowling ability, perhaps something work related?"
"We've been reviewing the pictures of the crime scene in the Slaugenhaught case and updating the original computer reenactment of the killing."
"Carry on then." Director turned to leave. "Oh, and DiNozzo, you might want to do something about that ink stain on the carpet."
Tony waited until the Director was no longer in sight. "This is crazy. I'm never going to figure it out in time."
"Then you should resign yourself to suffering whatever Ziva has done in retaliation. You did strike first." Tim said.
"But she's the probie. She isn't supposed to get me back. You never did."
"That you know of." Tim muttered.
"What does that mean?"
Abby interrupted. "Ziva's different. She's not used to being treated like a probie. Remember the blue teeth she gave you at Halloween?"
"You're right. I still owe her for that." Tony thought. "You know, I think I'll strike preemptively. That will settle the score for the blue teeth and whatever she did to my workspace."
"But you don't know that she did anything." Tim objected.
"She did. I'm sure of that." Tony bent over and pulled something out of the bottom desk drawer.
"You keep fishing line in your desk?"
"It comes in handy sometimes."
"For what?" Abby was amused.
"I'm going to tie everything sitting on Ziva's desk to the back of her chair. When she pulls out her chair to sit, everything will go crashing onto the floor."
"That's creative."
"Yes, but she's not going to be happy." Tim warned.
"I wasn't happy when we returned from interviewing the witness at Norfolk and I discovered my teeth were blue." Tony retorted.
"Still, I don't think I want to be here. It feels like I'm aiding and abetting, and I don't want Ziva to think that I helped." Tim replied.
"Good idea. I think it's time for a coffee break. Would you like to treat me to a Caf-Pow?" Abby smiled up at Tim.
They returned a few minutes later to the scene of a disaster. Ziva must have just pulled out her chair and triggered the prank. Besides the pencils, pens, and other desk top items spread across the floor, it looked like her empty coffee mug snagged on the potted plant beside her desk and that had fallen too. Unfortunately, she'd just watered it and mud had splashed onto the carpet, assorted papers, and Ziva's clothes. She was staring blankly at the mess, while Tony was half out of his chair with a stricken look on his face.
"Oh, my." Abby gasped.
"I don't think that was supposed to happen." Tim stared.
"Tony?" Ziva's tone was quiet and steady.
"Yes?" Tony's tone wasn't steady at all.
"Do you know who might have fishing line here at work?"
"Well, maybe Gibbs. He builds boats, maybe he fishes in his spare time." Tony responded weakly.
"I see. Do you think Gibbs is responsible for this mess?" Ziva walked over to Tony's desk.
"Well… I don't think… I mean he doesn't seem…"
"I doubt that Gibbs fishes in his spare time and I do not think that he is responsible for this mess." She leaned across the desk.
Tony slid down in his chair. "Really?"
"I seem to recall that when Abby wanted to hang Christmas decorations, you had a spool of line in your desk."
"I did?" Tony almost squeaked.
"Yes, you did." Ziva leaned closer. "I do not know why this was done, but I believe that I am looking at the perpetrator right now."
"You are?"
"Yes." Ziva reached out to pat his cheek. "I love you, Tony."