Chapter 4!
Disclaimer: I still do not own Shiki in anyway and it belongs to it's rightful owner.
"N...Natsuno?"
The expression written on the face belonging to the voice was just as shocked as the tone. In ways, it looked as if they were extremely disbelieving of whom was before their eyes. There was so much emotion written across that face: shock, pain, regret, guilt. It was all written plain as day. Natsuno gave a vague nod as his deep purple eyes remained on the other and watched closely.
"Yeah...It's me, Tohru. I..Saw your body. There was a stake through it."
Part of Natsuno had been certain he had seen his friend from a distance after the village was no more and since it's rebuilding. He hadn't wanted to believe his own eyes though and hadn't wanted to accept maybe, just maybe his friend somehow survived despite having seen his staked corpse up in the mountains among dozens of others. It would have taken a miracle with all that had occurred. On top of that, he also hadn't forgiven Tohru fully for what he had done to him. Tohru had been the one who slowly, thick crimson drop by thick crimson drop, drained his life from him. Part of him rationalized that Tohru had just been hungry to the point the starvation was to blame, but the other part was still bitter. He had offered his best friend the chance to escape with him and find a solution and had stuck by it to the very end. Yet Tohru had behaved as if it were simply hopeless and a lost cause to try to even attempt it. That there was no escaping his situation. That there would be no coexisting and that there was no hope as he would continue to murder for food.
Excuse after excuse.
And yet until the very end, he allowed Tohru to drain his blood and therefore his very life. He remembered the last night when Tohru came to feed. He had been too weak to even get up and go outside, having to settle with inviting the other into his room for his meal. He could barely breathe at that point and was so very cold. His limbs felt as if they were weighed down and numb. Tohru had apologized and cried upon reaching his bedside, knowing this would be the last time they saw one another. Natsuno remembered the cold flood of tears that had hit his face and neck as Tohru leaned down and sank his fangs into his overly pale neck one last time. They were the last thing he felt as he died, listening to the sobs of his despairing best friend. Not the fangs, but the icy tears that coursed down his flesh despite belonging to another. It had been the last thing he marveled and speculated on as a human.
But even if he hadn't forgiven Tohru, there was still the part that recognized the fact Tohru had cried as he did the gruesome deed. The fact that after he 'died' Tohru had visited his window nearly every night did not escape him either. The older boy left a flower and offered a prayer. Natsuno witnessed this himself several times, quietly looming within the trees and listening to his friend confess his sorrow and regret or any sins he may have committed. The way it sounded, these confessions seemed to be one of the few things keeping Tohru sane in his despair. Tohru nearly always came until one night, he just stopped for a reason unknown to the Jinrou. Yet Natsuno was aware he was still in torment over what had been done and that it probably would always haunt the blond Shiki until his death.
And now, Tohru, whom he thought was dead stood before him quite alive. Or rather, quite undead due to his nature as a okiagari.
Tears slowly seemed to well up in Tohru's eyes as it sank in his best friend was standing before him also quite alive. He wavered for a moment before he took a step closer and paused. When Natsuno didn't budge or recoil in fear, he took another step closer. It put him just before Natsuno before his legs seemed to give out and he hit the ground rather hard on his knees. Natsuno tensed as he watched the others arms snap out, ready to defend himself should Tohru attack. Yet no attack came as the older boy wrapped his arms around the younger's waist. Natsuno found the other's face buried in his stomach as he was put in a tight hug and the sobs of his friend caused him to freeze up, eyes wide as he just stared down. At that moment, he was very uncertain as to what to do.
So he just let Tohru sob and cry as well as cling to him as if the other were hanging on for dear life. He didn't try and comfort the Shiki, but he also didn't shove him away. Instead, he allowed Tohru to just let it all flood out of him. All his grief and sorrow, anything he likely felt from feeling responsible about his death. Natsuno was patient and allowed minutes to tick by, his gaze soon lingering at a random point in the alleyway and away from the creature on his knees before him.
His thoughts began to stray for a moment on what he should do. Rightfully, he should kill Tohru just like any other Shiki. Yet it had pained him deeply when he thought Tohru was dead before. He couldn't possibly reenact that pain as well as be the very cause of it. His mind continued to drift to how things were before the okiagari came into the picture and ruined his life along with so many others. All his fond memories of Sotoba involved Tohru in some way, shape or form. Even if Tohru was the nicest, most outgoing individual he had met in the village and so much different from himself..Somehow, they had gotten along. Tohru quickly became his best friend and almost his only friend at that. The older boy easily pierced right through the facade Natsuno erected of just disliking everyone and had managed to win the boy over after just a few times speaking with him. Most of their free time was spent together it seemed, be it walking together somewhere to just goofing off. Tohru was the only real friend he made..
Remembering the time spent caused his chest to tighten. The nights he would stay over and watch Tohru play video games. Listening to the other about nurse Ritsuko and his crush on the woman who was likely closer to a decade older then him. He helped Tohru with his homework despite Tohru was three years older then himself. Tohru always said Natsuno was one of the smartest guys he knew and not just because he was in advanced classes. Natsuno also opened up to the other, often times giving up answers about himself he wouldn't even to his own parents. Why he dressed like he did. Why he really studied so much. His ideas for life when he finally got back to the city. It was always Tohru who sat smiling patiently, listening and offering advice. What more, he often times really did care about Tohru's thoughts and wishes. He usually didn't show it, remaining aloof but deep down he always cared.
"Natsuno..?"
The younger boy blinked, the utterance of his name snapping him out of his thoughts and out of his memories. He looked down to find Tohru was looking up at him, but still close to him even if his arms had loosened in their grip around his waist. His shirt along his stomach was soaked from the tears the other had cried, cold much like the creature they belonged to. But the red irises looked up, seeming concerned and a tiny bit afraid as they regarded the Jinrou.
"Sorry..I thought it was better to just let you get it out of your system, Tohru."
The older nodded and soon realized the odd position he was in. He quickly scrambled up and off his knees, dusting them off and looking away almost shyly. Like he was suddenly embarrassed of his actions. He swallowed and then looked back at Natsuno. It was as if all he could do now was watch the younger Shiki, like he was sure words weren't needed to express he was terrified of the other boy just vanishing again. Natsuno noticed they could be here all night with Tohru just staring at him like that, so he decided to break that silence.
"I saw the stake through your heart. You were dead and Yamiari was already in flames. How is it you're standing here, alive? Or..As alive as an okiagari gets?"
Tohru blinked and then glanced around, finally realizing they were talking in a dark back alleyway. He doubted anyone would pass by and overhear or see them, but there was still a fragment of a chance it could happen. That and other things on his mind made him reluctant to start spilling his guts right then and there..
"Um..It's a bit of a long story, Natsuno."
The Jinrou stared intensely at the other for a few moments then gave a nod. Turning around, he slid his hands in his pockets. It was clear he assumed Tohru didn't wish to speak on the subject and thus, was going to leave him be. Vanish and likely try to forget he ran into him despite he knew that was impossible. Tohru's hand shot out and rested on Natsuno's shoulder to stop him from going, blurting in a rather hasty panic to keep the other from leaving him there alone.
"Where are you staying, Natsuno?"
Blinking, the younger turned his head to peer up at the blond boy from over his shoulder. He seemed confused for a second before shaking his head. "It doesn't matter. But I should probably return there. Just..Forget you ever ran into me, Tohru. And..." Drifting off, Natsuno couldn't find it in him to say what he wanted. It was just awkward and he wasn't sure how Tohru would even take it, considering. It could be seen as hateful or spiteful after all and despite he hadn't forgave Tohru, he couldn't just do that to the other.
"You're staying in the woods, aren't you Natsuno? I can tell by your clothes and your scent. Plus it's dawned on me that someone was there, but I wasn't sure who. Please Natsuno..Will you come with me? I..Where I'm staying isn't much, but it gets cold at night and.."
Abruptly, the older teen was cut off as Natsuno snapped in a harsh tone, a dark look coming into those purple eyes that almost made Tohru flinch back.
"I don't deserve to hide from the cold! I'm dead! Why should I even worry about being warm!"
Tohru was speechless for a few moments at the mini-rant, but refused to let go of Natsuno's shoulder or back off. He felt the bundled tension where his hand rested and knew he was walking on thin ice. But he had seen Natsuno upset before and always he had managed to slip past the other teen's guard and get him to calm down in the rare instance he wasn't calm and rational in his anger. He hoped he still had that ability and hadn't lost his touch. Otherwise, it could get ugly since Natsuno clearly wasn't pleased with his state and he was technically the one who put him in said state.
"Will you at least come and talk with me? I..You may not seek comfort, but I would do anything to make you comfortable. It's just that...Natsuno, I thought you were dead. I thought I killed my best friend for good and that you were cremated, never to even get a chance to rise up. Did you know? I visited your window every night, since it was the only grave I had. I talked like you were still there, wishing you were. I've had to live with the thought I killed my best friend for a year now.." Natsuno could tell the other was on the verge of tears again and his look softened a touch at the confession. But he didn't interrupt and let Tohru finish. "So will you please come talk with me? I..I'm so lonely now and I don't want to lose you again. I'll tell you anything you wanna know, just..Please come with me?"
"Fine.." Natsuno couldn't say no to that. Not that desperate plea and certainly not that look. He sighed faintly and turned to face Tohru, only to have the other suddenly hugging him excessively tight. His eyes widened as he was reminded of how affectionate Tohru had been when he was alive. It caused the usual, instinctive reaction he himself had when he was alive. He was trying to push Tohru off to no avail while squirming. "Hey, I know dying didn't erase your memory on the fact I told you to cut it out with the physical affection!"
The soft but honest laugh of Tohru nearly made Natsuno melt in his struggle though. It was a sound he had almost but not quite forgotten, thinking he would never hear it again. Tohru hugged him tighter before finally letting go and smiling down at him.
"I know buddy. But I'm just happy. Come on, home is this way. I know you clearly don't like human comforts, but I do have some things to drink there. Um..Blood you'll have to get on your own and.."
Natsuno quickly spoke, shaking his head as he uttered one word.
"Jinrou.."
Tohru blinked in surprise at discovering Natsuno was like Tasumi had been. The special kind of Shiki who could walk in daylight, didn't have to drink blood like Shiki and all sorts of other stuff he wasn't sure of. But he smiled after a moment, nodding and correcting himself.
"Well, I'll just have to rustle up some food for you then..My treat."
He slung his arm around the other's shoulder in a friendly manner and started leading Natsuno out of the alleyway, only to be rewarded with a sharp jab of an elbow to his side. He just chuckled after a slight grunt and continued on towards where he stayed.
The first hour or so spent together at the small apartment Tohru lived in had been..Nice. It was as if they weren't blood sucking monsters at all and were merely two friends hanging out just like old times. Tohru had ran out to get something for Natsuno to eat despite the purple haired teen's protests. He had insisted though, since even if Natsuno didn't have to drink blood, he had to eat Something or he would starve. The older boy had been more then pleased when Natsuno ate the take-out he brought to him. It was clear Natsuno was hungry and if Tohru had to guess, was likely only eating when he absolutely had to. Tohru could only imagine Natsuno was likely to never drink blood..
They got into the subject of their current state and survival slowly as if both felt unsure how exactly to bring it up. Natsuno inquired how Tohru had gotten an apartment, to which the older teen had sheepishly rubbed the back of his head and looked away with a guilty expression. He was honest though and explained he had bitten the landlord, but insisted it was only to provide himself with a place to stay and hadn't taken any blood. It did open up the subject though of what had happened with Natsuno getting the nerve to ask first..
"So Tohru..Will you tell me how you survived now?"
The two were seated in the small living room. The apartment was barely furnished, but such lack of clutter was a good thing otherwise it would be cramped. They sat side by side next to the futon and across from the small tv with a video game console. "Definitely Tohru.." Natsuno thought upon first seeing it.
"Like I said, it's a long story.." The blond almost looked as if he were reluctant to tell it. But Natsuno continued to just stare at him. It was clear Tohru wasn't going to get out of it so the older boy sighed and looked down. He wasn't even sure where to start but after collecting his thoughts, began to relay what he could.
"There was a stake through my chest, yes. But..Whoever put it there obviously wasn't use to doing that because it was on the right side of my chest. Not the left side where it would have done more damage to my heart."
Natsuno blinked stupidly at the other for a moment, his mind flashing back to when he had seen Tohru laying on the ground. Now that Tohru mentioned it...But still, he let the other continue.
"I remember I woke up and there were flames all over the place, like I was surrounded by hell or something. I could barely move and I was scared. While the stake was in the wrong place, it was close enough I was nearly paralyzed. But someone was shouting at me and trying to drag me away, yet I still blacked out after a few moments. I woke up and it was really dark. I could still smell smoke, but there was no fire. My chest still hurt something fierce too, but I could move..Someone had gotten it out of me and I found myself in a cave in the woods."
Tohru swallowed and peeked up at Natsuno, almost as if he hoped that sufficed in sating the other's curiosity. But the younger teen gave a nod as if to tell Tohru to continue. It was clear Natsuno was eager for more details and he had told the other he would tell him anything he wished to know. The younger's curiosity had merely doubled.
"Ritsuko had saved me." He let that hang for a few moments as his voice wavered. Instantly, Natsuno knew why Tohru may not wish to relay what all had happened. He wasn't sure of the exact details, but he could guess where the story was heading. The nurse had been staked and lay beside him when Natsuno had last seen them. He started to tell the other he could stop, but Tohru continued on his own. "I guess because she was a nurse, she was able to get the stakes out without doing more damage. I was healing up and she said given a few nights, I should be fine. But..."
Natsuno blinked, brows arching as the other stopped. His head cocked to the side as he asked. "But?"
Tohru swallowed again as tears began to creep into the corner of his eyes. By the fact his lip was trembling, Natsuno was becoming more and more certain that his thoughts were true.
"But..She wasn't healing as well. Or more so, at all..."
"You don't have to tell me any more. It obviously hurts.." Natsuno was merciful in trying to stop his friend. But Tohru, despite tears were already sliding down his face, shook his head.
"She died, Natsuno. Or more so, she let herself die. She was so much more stronger then me because she refused to drink blood. Flat out refused and in the end, it's what killed her. She couldn't heal and was in constant pain, so one night I woke up and...She had...Had.."
Turning to face the other more, Natsuno watched Tohru with amethyst colored eyes. He was frowning, but it was clear if Tohru wished to stop the boy's offer still stood. He was morbidly curious, but didn't want to force Tohru to relive the events and suffer from it. However, Tohru seemed as if he would be tormented either way.
"She..Went out into the sun so she wouldn't suffer any more."
Silence hang over the two as Natsuno stared, shocked. A Shiki who would willing die instead of giving into hunger? He had thought if Tohru hadn't been able to, no one would! Tohru hadn't been able to fight off the hunger and had been fearful for his own life despite being such a gentle and kind soul. Hearing another had was..Very, very different and not what Natsuno would expect since so far, all he had seen from the okiagari was selfishness.
"I'm sorry, Tohru." He was never good in these situations. Nothing seemed to be the correct thing to say. The irony hit him of having been in the same, awkward position when Tohru had died and he had tried to comfort and console the boy's parents. There was nothing that could be said that would change the situation and make it okay. This was another he was in and wasn't sure how he should act.
"I..I almost knew she would do it. She had told me to help me heal, she had gave me most of the blood she had left in her. She told me that..If I choose different people to feed on, maybe I could avoid killing. To just take enough to survive and let my food live. She talked to me about it for hours and finally, I promised her I would. When we went to sleep that day, she didn't really go to sleep. She wrote a note and then..That was the last I saw her. She didn't even scream as far as I know when she went out into the sunlight. I found some of her ashes to..But she's gone now.."
Natsuno was quiet for a moment, then murmured. "And you've kept your promise to her. Earlier, when you fed..You didn't kill him and said he would never see you again. That's why there have been no strange and unusual deaths reported. You aren't killing people and just taking what you need..Like what I tried to get you..To.."
His words drifted off when he noticed Tohru was sobbing. Ever since his friend had become Shiki, it was as if that's all he did. It was as if Tohru knew only sorrow. It caused his chest to tighten a bit as he remembered Tohru as always happy and smiling when he was alive. He wasn't sure what compelled him to do it, but he found himself leaning over and hugging the other. Tohru was just as surprised for a split second before he turned and buried his face against Natsuno's shoulder. His sobs were heart wrenching and filled with more pain then Natsuno thought a single being could hold. But he kept the other in a hug. It felt like it was the right thing to do, even if he still felt awkward. He was never one for intimacy, much less physical.
But if it could help ease his friends suffering...
Friend..
Tohru was still his friend after all this..
"I forgive you, Tohru.."
The words were whispered softly and only slightly began calming his friend down who clung to him for dear life. But until Tohru had calmed, Natsuno decided he wasn't going anywhere.
I managed to write a longer chapter. Yay! I am not sure when I can get to Chapter 5. I have a loose idea for it, but need more inspiration to hit me. But I will try to get it updated soon ;)