Snap to the present; Beck does a small jump down from the railing, onto the grass, and meets me at the door of the structure. He keeps back a bit. He smiles, but it's not the one I remember loving so much. Without speaking, he gestures for me to walk ahead of him up the few steps into the gazebo. The wood groans and protests under our feet, but remains sturdy.
My arms are folded; his hands are in his pockets. We both stand facing each other, yet reserved. I know I don't deserve to have him here, ready to listen to what I'm about to say. But then, he's always been this way, ready to be the bigger person.
December: My eyes were stinging with unwelcome tears, and I was trying to make this go quickly so the pain wouldn't last, like pulling off a Band-aid.
His hand, which had been in his pocket moments before, was balled up in a fist around something small.
A glint of gold between his fingers, and my stomach felt like I had just plummeted ten stories.
With eyes on the ground, his voice was quiet, and wavered almost imperceptibly as he spoke.
"I wanted to tell you something, Jade. It's probably not worth anything now, because I know you, and I know that once you get something in your head, you're going to stick by it, because if you don't, you'll go crazy." As he said those last words, he looked me in the eye, and I swear a look has never caused me so much pain.
"We wrapped the show today. I wanted to surprise you. I'm moving back to LA in a week. I guess it doesn't make a difference now. I'm not your problem anymore."
I never thought he'd give me up without a fight, but I think he didn't want to hurt anymore either.
Now he stands in front of me as that April breeze stirs around us, his gaze hard and unreadable.