Okay so again thank you to sweet and sassy nessie who has been reading through the chapters and has been helping me the best she can!

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Read and enjoy!

I look at both of them, neither of them speaking and the atmosphere well it was oh so silent. And then I froze, all of my muscles tense up, everything inside me went numb. I'm so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What am I blind?

"you know I always thought I would recognize my father!" I say cutting the tension like a knife.

"I always thought, as soon as I saw him I would know! I would know the man that left my mom before I was born, the one who left because he didn't want the responsibility, he didn't want a pregnant girlfriend dragging him down and he didn't want a baby to look after. The father who didn't want me. The guy who left town and never looked back. But it's been staring me in the face since yesterday and I was too caught up in my own problems to realize" I look over at Edward and tears had appeared in his eyes. He sniffs and then rubs his sleeve over his nose. He doesn't look at me.

"You left for college instead of staying to support the life that you created! You lazy bastard.

I honestly never thought I would meet you! I could never understand why I hated someone so much, someone I've never met, but now I know why. Just looking at you it repulses me, you make my blood boil. You know what you selfish bastard, I used to stay up and listen to mom cry on the phone to Esme about how she couldn't do it, how she missed you. But she never needed you, you unworthy asshole. Just leave you're not wanted here, I don't want you like you didn't want me." I spat at him, I was crying myself, not because I was sad but because I was so angry.

"Ness i-"

"No you do not call me that, you have no right to feel comfortable calling me that! Use my real name you low life." I yell at him.

"Renesmee you don't understand. I regret it all I wish I had stayed, but I didn't and I can't change that but I can change the future and be here for you starting right now. You've never seen me because when you've gone on vacation each year I would come back and visit my parents-" He had taken a step towards me which had taken me of guard. So I bring my voice back to my lips.

"Don't you dare come any closer to me." I shout, burning my lungs and point at him to go back to where he was. He takes a step back awkwardly. I look down at mom, she had her face in her hands.

"So you came back when I was on vacation. So even now you're a coward, you didn't want the trouble of facing your responsibilities. You're really digging a hole now."

"I came back when you were on vacation because that's what your mom, Esme and Carlisle said was best." He was trying to defend himself, why was he defending himself? This just made me even more angry.

"Don't defend yourself asshole, What has this got to do with- Esme and Carlisle they are your parents." I wasn't even shocked, I just felt numb. All this time I thought I knew everything that no secrets were kept, but everything was just a massive lie.

"So all this time you were lying to me, you couldn't just tell me? Mom." I take moms hands from her face, forcing her to look at me.

"You always told me that whatever I wanted and needed to know about him you would tell me, no secrets will be kept." I felt like bundling in a ball and never facing the world again.

Edward was brave enough to cross the room to me, he didn't touch me but he did come and stand in front of me.

"Renesmee just let me explain, please I never wanted to leave you or your mother, I loved her so much I-"

"If you loved her so much then you never would have left." I scream at him, pushing him backwards causing him to stumble. I run from the front room, into the kitchen and then straight through the backdoor.

I waited until I was deep into the woods to let the screams escape from my dry broken lips. I scream and cry until I was heaving and exhausted. How could this happen? I'm so stupid. It was in front of me all this time, all I needed to do was open my damn eyes and realize that I couldn't trust any of them to tell me the truth. How am I supposed to face any of them knowing that they had kept all of this from me? I prop myself up against a tree and look up at the clear sky. No rain today.

"Renesmee." Jacob yells from the distance. I found myself jumping up and running with the little strength I had left. I ran in the direction of the meadow and soon come to the clearing. I see Jake standing there.

"Jacob." I cry, making him turn in my direction, he ran towards me and caught me in an embrace picking me up of the ground and hugging me tight. I let my sobs loose and cry into his shirt. He just held me there until I was ready to face him. Smoothing down my hair Jacob set me back down on the ground and took hold of my face.

"I heard you screaming Ness, I've never heard you scream like that, it scared me half to death. Tell me what's wrong baby." Wrinkles were deep on his forehead and they matched the concern in his voice. I sank to the ground and he followed.

"Okay, I just met my dad! I uh we bumped into him at the mall yesterday and mom recognized him but I didn't then he showed up today and he was nice and stuff and then he drove me home and mom just, she just told me that he was my dad Jake. He was trying to defend himself, he was trying to explain why he abandoned us but it just made me angrier, he doesn't deserve to try and explain himself." Jacob rubs my back and listens to me intensely, taking it all in.

"And they've all been lying to me because Esme and Carlisle are actually my biological grandparents, I've never bumped into the asshole because he's always came and visited when me and mom were on vacation." I stifle another cry and sniff back my feelings. I breathe slowly and control my emotions. I look at Jacob and he wipes the tears that had escaped from my eyes.

"Oh Ness." He soothes taking me into an embrace. As I hug him I mutter into his shirt.

"I need to talk to you about Sam." He pulls back slowly and looks at me.

"I know Ness I'm so sorry, I was such a dick, you're right I shouldn't have found it funny, what happened was awful." He looks down at the ground feeling guilty. Why wasn't he like this all the time, he's never like this when he's with anyone else.

"Not about that, I called Jess and she told me what happened. Then I saw him and started bitching him out because I was so angry Jacob. I hit him because he was being all patronizing and nasty and then he came at me Jake, he came a me twice." Jacobs head shot straight up, his Jaw clenched as he registered what I had said.

"He did what?" His voice had been limited to an angry whisper.

"Ness I'm so sorry." Tears started to form in his eyes, which was different. I'd never seen him cry before.

"I never thought for one second that he would ever go for you, baby did he hurt you?" Jacob takes my hand and looks me in the eye, pleading for forgiveness.

"No The guy who I just found out is my dad he stopped him and made him feel the way that he makes everyone else feel, Jake this isn't your fault." I smile at him, genuinely meaning what I had said; I don't blame him for any of it.

"Wait until I get my hands on him." He mutters. I lean on his shoulder and he wraps his hands around my protectively. Talking to Jake made me feel better, he listens and doesn't keep anything from me plus now that I've told someone I feel better, I feel like I've gotten it out of my system for now.

"Jake." I mumble sleepily.

"mmm?" He mumbles in response, planning a kiss on the top of my head.

"I should probably go home, I need to help my mom pack."

"Are you sure? You can stay at my house if you want." I shake my head, I needed to go home, mom goes on vacation in few weeks and I needed to talk to her before then. Jacob helps me up and holds my hand all the way home. We don't talk, instead let the silence take over us. I assure Jake that I would be fine going in alone. He tells me to call him if I needed anything and then walks back into the forest, back to his own home.

Slowly I walk up to the house and push down the door handle. Instead of being welcomed by silence, shouting hits me as I walk through the door into the kitchen. Esme, Carlisle, Mom and Edward are all screaming at each other so much that they don't even hear or see me walk in.

"SHUT UP." I scream making them all jump and stop whatever they were screaming. I slump down in a chair around our table and look at all of them, tears once again forming in my eyes. Edward is the first too speak, he turns to Mom and starts to shout at her.

"Look at her, this isn't all my fault, this wouldn't have been so hard if you hadn't filled her with all your fucking lies Bella." I slam my hands on the table making everyone's attention once again fall on me

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare talk to her like that, my mom brought me up by herself asshole, I don't need you okay any views I have of you are my own, my mom told me the truth and that's all there is to it. All you are is fucking sperm donor, you will never be my father, hell mom's boyfriend is more of a father to me and that says something doesn't it." I didn't even raise my voice, all eyes were on me and I was coming loud and clear. Edward looked at everyone in the room before leaving out the backdoor, slamming it shut. Esme and Carlisle left soon after, not uttering a word. Mom came and sat down next to me.

"Ness, I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything, I was just worried how you would react, please try to understand."

"I don't understand mom, but I'm not angry at you, this isn't your fault." I take her hand and smile at her through blood shot eyes and a runny nose.

"Mom I want you to go on vacation with James." I say with all my strength, I didn't want her to go, but this wasn't about me, she was going to have a perfect vacation with the man that she loved and then he was going to go down on one knee and ask her to marry him and she is going to be so happy. I was not prepared to take that away from her.

"I'm not going now." She says almost shocked at the idea, I raise an eyebrow at her and laugh uneasily.

"Mom, too much time has gone into this, I will do anything for you and because of that I will tolerate having to see him if I have to." I breathe in my decision, feeling calmer, happier knowing that I hated him but will tolerate whatever interaction I have to have with him.

"If it gets too bad. I give you permission to stay at Jacobs, but only if it gets bad okay." I nod my head and smile at her. She brings me into a warm and comforting hug. Keeping me there for what seems like forever. She tells me to go to bed and get some sleep. I follow her instructions. I'm pretty sure that I was asleep before I slumped on my bed. It was a sleepless night, full of confusion and betrayal.

I stayed in my bedroom for the next three weeks. I sort of fell into a hole of depression. I couldn't believe that the people who I loved and trusted the most, the people who I looked up too had filled my life with a bubble of lies. It's total bullshit that they decided to do what they thought was best for me instead of asking me. My opinion of him would have never changed so there was no need to lie about him. It's my life they were fucking around with. If they really cared about my feelings they would have told me the truth. This is what keeps going around in my head as I lie in my bed and doubt everything they were told me about him. Mom had tried multiple times to come and bring me out from my pit of despair but I would just shrug her off and tell her that I would be fine, that I just needed time. Jacob would sneak into my room at night by climbing the tree that was next to my bedroom window. I would cry and he would just cuddle me until morning in which he would sneak back out the window be came through the night before.

Carlisle and Esme had tried their efforts to reason with me but I just stared at them blankly, I didn't know what to say to them. They were the wisest people in my life, they had influenced so much in my life and had taught me the best life lessons but now I didn't know how to overcome the lies that they had told. Mom would bring me food, sit with me and watch TV for a while. We would sit and watch and not one word was spoken about him. Eventually Mom got me to talk and we would talk about her vacation and anything else that would keep me engaged in a conversation.

Three days before Mom and James were due to go on vacation I came out of my room and settled into reality the best I could. I helped mom pick out her vacation clothes and finally I called Jess back after rejecting all of her calls for the last three weeks. I knew that I had to plaster a fake smile on my face, get back to my old self by the time that she went on vacation. Otherwise I knew that she would never leave. Dying inside I knew that she was going to leave and I was going to have to stay with Carlisle and Esme. I knew that I was going to have to face him. Whatever happens he has it coming. I guess I was good at faking because mom came in at the early hours of the morning and woke me up.

"Honey, me and James are about to go." She whispers delicately in my ear. As my eyes shoot open I look at her and smile. Giggling I stand up and give her an amazing hug.

"Have an amazing time mom, don't worry about me I can look after myself." She giggles a bit herself then releases me. She takes a step back so she can see me in full view.

"Ness do me a favour and stop growing." A massive grin forms on her face. I shake my head and then laugh at her. Taking my hand she leads me down the stairs. James was picking up the last of the suitcases to take to the car. He smiles as he sees me. I give him a hug and he hugs me with his spare hand. As he releases me he winks.

"Stay safe kiddo." James says as he lugs the suitcase out of the house to his car.

"I will I laugh." Mom Gives me more hugs and kisses me on the forehead before she tells me she loves me.

"Mom just go, please you're going to miss your flight otherwise."

"Alright boss." She laughs as she follows James and soon enough she was in his car and they were off. I wave as they drive away. Slamming the door I make my way upstairs. Instead of going into my room I make my way to moms room and fall into her unmade bed. It was warm and comforting, it also smelled like her, soon enough I fell back to sleep.

Around eleven I sat up in moms bed feeling refreshed but alone. So I showered and got rid of all the stress and grime that plagued me from yesterday and then dressed quickly. I was sat at the kitchen table eating some toast as my phone rang, I picked it up and pressed answer, Jess's voice came through dull and plain.

"You okay to come over?" She asked.

"Yeah sure when?"

"Whenever, I know I said I'll come over but I'm too depressed to move."

"Alright be there in fifteen." I leave my half eaten toast and leave the house. I prepare myself for what Jess was going to tell me, It was going to anger me, I know that, but it was obvious that it was already stressing Jess out enough, I needed to be there for her rather than worrying about myself. He just, God he makes me so angry. Now that Jake knows how much of an ass clown Sam really is he may re-think his friendship with him and look for better people to hang around with, God knows it would be better for my health.

As I press the doorbell I stand uncomfortably, fidgeting from foot to foot. No cars were in their driveway so I guess Jess had the house to herself. The door opens and I put my hand over my mouth. I've never seen Jess look so bad, it was obvious that she hadn't had much sleep last night. He skin was red and blotchy from all the crying she'd been doing and it complimented her blood shot eyes. Her beautiful strawberry blonde hair was tied back into a greasy, messy bun. She pulled me into the house quickly and then slammed the door. Silently we walk up to her room and sat on her bed. She grabs a pillow and hugs it as I position myself so that my back is leaning against her wall. For the first time since I'd got here she looks me in the eye then sighs.

"I know I look awful, please don't point it out."

"No Jess, you look beautiful as always," I say smiling which made her form a small smile herself.

"Okay so after I left your house I met Mike and he took me out for ice-cream. We found one of those like small ice-cream truck things in the park near the mall and so mike lined up to get us some. While he was doing that I sat on a bench and while I was waiting, Sam came and sat down next to me. At first I ignored him but he started to flirt badly and he was like trying to touch my hair and face and stuff. It was creepy as hell. So I shouted at him to get off me, but he didn't and he tried to kiss me." She stopped and bit her tongue, trying to keep the tears away, after taking a deep breath she started again.

"So I slapped him across the face. Granted it wasn't very hard and he just laughed at it. He started to try and kiss me again so I started screaming. Mike soon came to the rescue and he got all defensive. They started to argue and mike punched him first, Sam got really angry and started to beat him up and then out of nowhere Sam's friends joined in and then Mike was on the floor and they just, they wouldn't stop kicking him! I was screaming for them to stop but they wouldn't. I tried Ness I really did. It wasn't until a police officer who must of being patrolling the park or something shouted at them to stop that they took off." She'd come and sat by me now. She was crying and I just I didn't know what to do or how to comfort her. So I held her hand and squeezed it for reassurance.

"How is he now? Did he talk to the police." I ask sensitively.

"He didn't give names and said that he didn't want to press any charges, so it doesn't matter. I think he's scared that if he does they'll hurt him again or me or something. He told me not to talk to the police or give them any names, so I didn't but I know it frustrated the police and our parents."

"I think that you should do what you think is best Jess. That's your decision. I'm just saying that if that was me then I would have told the police."

"I know I should of Ness but Mike is so sensitive right now, I didn't want to push him over the limit." Breathing another deep breath she smiles.

"So tell me what happened with your mom, you were so vague on the phone Ness. Oh and don't you ever, ever disappear from the face of the Earth like that again" Now it was my turn. I let everything go and like I did with Jacob I wept and wept and told Jess everything that happened. She gasped and held me making comments that she though would make me feel better. In the end we both cried, holding each other in a tight embrace.

"I should probably go have a shower, I think we need to go out and get some food." She mumbles still clinging onto my top. I nod my head as a silent reply. She jumps up and heads to the bathroom leaving me alone. Quickly I take out my phone.

Want to go out for lunch?

My phone buzzed moments later, I opened the text and read what it said.

Sure where to?

Meet me at Jess' in half an hour. I text back to him, almost as quickly as I sent the text, Jake replied.

okay love you x

love you too x realizing I didn't have anything left to do I put my ear phones in and close my eyes. I listen to I choose you by Sara Bareilles and get lost in my own world. I travel back to the events of three weeks ago. His story, what he said about mom, about him leaving, he was pretty much spelling it out for me. There was as second there that I actually thought he was a decent person. I didn't feel any hate for him like I thought I would. I thought I would know him instantly and continue my hatred for him, but I didn't realize and I didn't hate him until I finally put the pieces together. Song after song played but all I could concentrate on was that I thought he was a half decent guy, it's so confusing. I know that I hate him, but I also know that I could get along with him.

"Ness I'm ready. Do you want to go?" Jess was dressed and looking as stunning as ever. No one would have known that just this morning she had looked such a mess.

"Yeah sure." A knock came at the door just in time, Jess turned to me eyebrows furred but I just smiled at her. Taking our time we walk down the stairs and then Jess opens the door.

"Hey guys." Jake smiles with enthusiasm.

"Hey Jess I'm really sorry about what happened to Mike." Jake pulls Jess into an embrace. I could see that for him it was awkward but I knew that for Jess it was a comfort to have his support.

We took Jess's car since Jake's truck only seated two people. Jake sat in the back and barely engaged in conversation but it was nice to know he was here and that he was willing to support both me and Jess. We found a small diner and Jess parked in its parking lot. Jacob being Jacob was eager to go inside and get some food and so walked on ahead. Once we were seated a waitress came over to take our order. She was wearing a skirt that barely stopped below her thighs but she had a pretty face that was complimented by the makeup she had on rather than being ruined by it. Because of this she was a threat. She batted her eye lashes at Jacob and I almost laughed out loud.

"You're kidding right?" I smirk at her. She turns to me, she raised a delicate eyebrow as she continues to chew her gum.

"Whatever, what can I get you?" She took our orders and then stalked away shaking her ass as she went.

"She'll probably spit in my milkshake." I mutter as I place my elbows on the table and my head in my hand.

"I just got a text from Mikes mom, she said that he's feeling much happier and that he's doing good. He's at home resting up now" Jess looked up at us smiling, her grin reaching all the way up to her eyes.

"Aww that's great Jess." I say as I reach to hug her, hugging over the table is the stupidest idea that I've ever had since it sort of winded me.

"I swear to God when I get my hands on Sam." Jacob mutters.

"You'll what Jake? You've never been one for fights! You've just stood back and watched them, I honestly can't see you getting in a fight." Jess nods meaning she agreed.

"You've never seen me get angry over defending you Ness, you might be surprised." He says as our oh so lovely waitress brings our drinks over to us. I start so slurp on my milkshake before I answer.

"I'll believe it when I see it." I challenge.

"No, no more fights, I can't handle anyone else getting in to one." Jess says holding one finger up in the air and shaking it side to side.

"Well apart from rocky here." Jacob motions his head towards me; I almost choke on my drink as he does.

"That's a stretch don't you think. I'm pretty sure I barely left a mark." I say coughing loudly.

"Still braver than I." Jess points out.

"Yeah don't mess with Ness." Jake joins in making us all laugh.

"Rocky like her-" Jess stops herself. Only thinking through what she was about to say after she had started her sentence. Everything fell silent, Jess looked down at her lap.

"Like him, well I guess that's one and probably the only one good quality I share with him." Jess saw that I'm not taking it personally and smiles. But inside I was! I didn't want to be anything like him. I didn't want any trace of him because I don't want to be reminded of him, but it's there hidden away in the back of my mind. I am half him and therefore I will be like him.

Our food arrives and as best I could I got involved with the conversation. Jess and Jake talk football. Well Jake talks football, Jess talks cheerleading. So I nod, smile and comment where I was supposed to but otherwise my mind was elsewhere. Until I saw who was coming towards the diner.

"You've got to be kidding me." I mutter. This caused Jess and Jake to look out the window as well. I could feel Jake tense up next to me.

"That's it." Jake says as he wipes his mouth with a napkin and then stalks out to meet Sam. I sigh and rub my face then slump out after him. I don't think I can take seeing Jake get beat to a bloody pulp.

"You." Jake yells as he and Sam get in each other's face.

"You don't want to do this Jake." Sam was surprisingly calm but he was still tense, veins showing in his neck.

"You went after my girlfriend? You wanted to hurt her? That's pretty low even for you Sam." Jake was breathing heavy, anger rising in him.

"She had it coming." Jake didn't even reply he just went straight in for the kills. His fist cracked straight against Sam's Jaw making his head snap to the side with much more force than mine ever did. Sam brought is head back and went to swing for Jake but was to slow, Jake ducked and instead punched Sam in the gut making him hunch over. Sam's friends stood there, not sure who they should be defending or who they should be fighting and so they stayed silent.

Sam straightens up and stalks towards Jacob. They were face to face. Sam's face was a deep red and veins were popping out of his neck now. Jacob was perfectly calm not intimidated by the monster in front of him.

"Back off Jake." Spit and blood flew from Sam's mouth as he shouted in Jake's face. Jacob proceeds to wipe the spit from his face.

"Not gonna happen Sam." He yells and then pushes Sam back making him stumble. Before Sam could attack hands on his shoulder stopped him. Those hands belonged to his friend.

"Come on Sam don't do anything you'll regret." Seth's deep voice came from behind him. Although he was the smallest out of all of them, he was the bravest and quite frankly the wisest. Much like Jacob I had no idea how he wound up in a group like this.

"Yeah come on Sam it's not worth it." Another voice came from behind.

"Sam leave it, you don't want to get in trouble, you got lucky with Mike." Seth encourages. Sam's cold eyes stay on Jake until he turns around. He pushes through his friends and stalks of. One by one they follow him, trailing behind. All except Seth. Jacob nods a silent thank you to him and Seth replies with a nod of his own before walking off after his friends.

"See what did I tell you." Jacob muses as he comes over to me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"No one is more important than you Ness." He whispers and then kisses me lovingly. Falling into the kiss I smile on his lips as my belly did flips.

"You two are too cute." Jess says awkwardly which was my cue to pull away.

"Ness its 4:30! I only have an hour to get home and do something nice with my hair." Jess checked her watch and then pointed at her head frantically. I laugh at her and then shake my head. Going back to the car Jake was a lot more talkative, but as we get to the car someone passes us. His hair was black and from the back you could see his muscular frame, he was tall and slim and looked so strong. I couldn't stop the word escaping my mouth.

"Asshole." I shout causing the guy to turn around. I feel my face drain of blood as I see the guys face. He was not who I thought he was. He looked shocked and startled like he couldn't quite believe what he'd heard. Slowly without a word he turned around and walked away.

"What was that about?" Jacob asked quizzically.

"I thought it was someone else." I mutter, feeling embarrassed and humiliated. I sat in the back and Jake sat in the front this time. I didn't listen to their conversation. I felt sick and the car journey felt like it took forever. I've never done that before, I can't believe I'm now imagining that I see him. This isn't right! I hate him, I want to hate him and I have all of my life. Why couldn't he just stay away? I wouldn't be feeling so confused if he had just stayed away like he was supposed to.

"Ness?" Jess's soothing voice woke me and my eyes snapped open.

"Okay sleepy head?" Jacob says, helping me out of the car. I lean on him for support as he helps me onto the pavement. I yawn a little.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a bit tired that's all, I'll call you later okay." I kiss Jake on the cheek. He then proceeds to get into his truck. He waves as he drives away.

"Ready to curl my hair?" Jess says, eyes wide with a massive grin on her face. I laugh and then follow her into her house.

Jess sits on the floor and I sit on her bed. We settle into silence as I curl her hair, distracting things on both of our minds. I never thought I would meet him but I always pictured a situation where I did. I always thought of smart and offensive things to say. There's so much that it's hard to remember every reason, every point I wanted to tell him that made me hate him. But I can't think of anything. Have you ever got that feeling where you've got so much to say but you don't know what to say or what order to say it in. My mind is running so wild that it feels blank. It's the most frustrating thing in the world because I'm never lost for words but when it comes to this, I just don't know how to say it all.

"There done." I say curling the last strand of her perfect hair and then turn off her curling iron.

"Thank you." Jess proceeds to stick bobby pins in her hair as she creates a messy but elegant up do. One again she checks her watch as she unplugs her curling iron and sets it on the heat proof mat.

"Ready to go?" She asks shrugging her jacket onto her shoulders smoothly.

"Let's go."

Entering the hall I could see that there was a circle of chairs set out, some were taken but most were empty. Jess takes my hand and leads me over to a guy holding a folder.

"Jess, glad you made it." He shows his gleaming smile, his teeth perfectly straight and perfectly bright.

"Ness this is Charlie." Jess says introducing us, breathing in and sticking out her chest a little bit. I could see why! He was gorgeous, he was tall, muscular and had broad shoulders. It was like looking at a super model up close. He was young too, maybe twenty two, twenty three.

"Oh I know you! You called me an asshole like an hour ago." He laughed pointing at me. I feel the heat burn in my cheeks and look down at the floor, oh how embarrassing.

"I'm sorry I thought you were someone else."

"Hey it's cool no harm done." He smiles cockily then writes something down in his folder. Jess drags me over to the circle and we sit down in our chairs. Soon after Jake comes into the hall with fresh new cloths on, trailing behind was Seth. They come and sit by us.

"Hey guys."

"Hey I didn't know you were into drama Seth?" I ask curiously looking over at him. He just shrugs.

"Needed something to do, I'm growing sick of Sam! Oh and Jess I hope you know I was no part of what happened to Mike." He says sympathetically giving her a warm yet apologetic smile. She puts her hands out in front of her as if to tell him that she understands.

"Okay I think this will be it." Charlie announces as he came and sat down in the circle with us. Fourteen of us not including him were sparsely spread out in the circle. I could see the thin smile of disappointment on Charlie's lips.

"Okay so were all going to go around the circle and say our names, I'll start."

"Charlie."

"Angela."

"Erik."

"Alice"

"Jasper"

"Victoria"

"Riley"

"Bree"

"Paul"

"Tyler"

"Emily"

"Jessica"

"Ness"

"Jacob"

"Seth"

"Okay good now were going to play a game. It's called budge okay the game goes like this. If let's say Paul was stood in the middle of the circle and he chose Bree then he would say "Bree budge". Okay then he would start walking towards her. Bree would then look at someone one else and say their name I dunno maybe Victoria before Paul gets to her. She would then start walking towards Victoria and then Victoria would have to be quick enough to say someone else's name and so on. But if you don't say a name before the person who said your name gets to you then you're out, so you got to be quick! Everyone got it?" We all nod our heads and then Jess nominates herself to go in the middle. She sets her eyes on me.

"Ness budge." She starts to walk towards me and I squirm in my seat I look at who is opposite me across the circle and say her name.

"Alice budge." I start to walk to her just as Jess gets to me, she sits in my now vacant seat. Alice picks her target and starts to walk towards them before I reach her so I sit down in her chair. This is sort of fun, I feel loose and relaxed to be honest. Maybe this won't be so bad. When it got to the end it was only Jess and Seth left so Charlie made them stand back to back.

"Okay so I will say a series of objects with each object that isn't a fruit you must take a step forward, when you hear the fruit you have to turn around to your opponent and yell bang. The quickest person wins." They both nod their understanding, Charlie starts.

"Chair." Both of them take a step forward.

"Book." Another step forward, silence had filled the room.

"Table." Jess was fidgeting, I could see that she was concentrating hard on this.

"Ap-"

"BANG." Jess almost screeches making Seth jump.

"le" Charlie finishes, we all clap and laugh as Jess jumps up and down in triumph.

We all sit back in the circle and Charlie passes a pile of song sheets out.

"Pass these around." He commands as he pulls out his guitar.

"Now I know not all of you are going to be singers and that's fine, I'm not a good singer myself, but there's no better way to break the tension like singing a song." He smiles. Groans and sighs come from around the circle, I just look at the sheet that had been passed to me. Wake me up by Aloe Blacc. At least it was a decent song. Charlie starts to play the song on his guitar and comes in with the lyrics, painfully killing the song. Jess joins in for confidence and then she looks at me for help. I role my eyes, open my mouth and let the words come out. Singing quietly I build confidence slowly and finally start to enjoy myself. Others join in but I could feel all eyes on me as we sing. I smile a little and then it grows wider. This is the first time I've sung in front of people I didn't know or trust, but it felt right, it felt comfortable. Soon enough I was singing freely and comfortably. I hadn't realized but everyone else had stopped singing and instead they were clapping me on, as Charlie approached the end of the song he smiled wickedly at me. He put his guitar down and joined in the clapping. I looked around the circle. They were all smiling and clapping not laughing. Small tears prick my eyes and I laugh along to. Out of confidence I stand up and curtsy.

The night went smoothly, we played more games like park bench and chicken. By the end of the session everyone was talking and laughing with each other. There was no individual groups here, just one massive one. As everyone started to disperse Charlie came over to me.

"That's some voice you got there,"

"Thanks." I say shyly. Jacob came and put his hand around my waist lazily.

"Ready to go?" He asks putting a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Will I see you next week?" Charlie asks, I nod my reply and he smiles. It felt good to be noticed I guess, I think I'm going to like it here.

I hug Jess and she makes her way home in her own car. I get into Jake's truck and wave at Seth as he drives away. Reluctantly I tell Jacob to take me to Esme's and Carlisle's. The journey was speechless, mainly because I fell asleep and only woke up after Jake turned the engine of. I say good night to him and then let myself into my grandparents' house.

"Esme? Carlisle?" I call out as I leave my keys on the counter. Instead of an answer I'm met with the presence of him.

"Uh nice day?" he asked hopelessly. Rolling my eyes I bite my tongue and walk past him. I hear him sigh but I keep walking up to my bedroom that Carlisle and Esme had for me. As I get changed into my Pj's I feel that unfamiliar tightness in my chest. I start to heave and I know that I was about to up chuck . Quickly I run to the bathroom down the hall. Slamming the door I barely make it to the toilet before I vomit my lunch up. Throwing up into the toilet I then sit against the wall next to the toilet feeling weak and limp. I hadn't been sick in so long that it made me feel unsteady and upset, like a little child tears come to my eyes.

"Renesmee." A small knock comes from the other side of the door.

"Go away." I call out in dismay.

"Renesmee please, let me help you. What do you need? Just tell me." He answered meaningfully.

"I need you to leave me alone." My voice broke and silently I started to weep. Why wouldn't he leave, he was not the person I needed right now.

For a while there was silence. But then Edward pushed the door open, silently he came and sat opposite me on the bathroom floor. He handed me some aspirin and a glass of water. I look at him with hard glazed eyes but take the offering from him. The water was chilled and felt good against my hot forehead. I didn't take the tablets, instead I reached my arm up and put them next to the sink.

"Thanks." I say tight lipped as I hand him back the now empty cup. We sit there for a while just looking at him. Like I said I had all of this stuff to say to him but every time I wanted to tell him something it's like all my hateful thoughts had scattered. Too far to reach. Silently I got up of the floor and sluggishly walked to my room. That night I dreamed of a perfect family, with a happy little girl who loved and knew both of her parents.

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