Chapter 4 – Memories and reflection (final chapter I've written and will be posting)
"Haruhi-chan... wow," Kotone stared at Haruhi wide eyed. It was monday morning and Kotone had been sitting out the front of their apartment block when Haruhi had come out wearing a Ouran Academy boys uniform. After the initial surprise Kotone hid her mouth behind her hand and tried to retain a laugh. "Or should I call you Haruhi-kun maybe?"
"Haruhi-chan is fine," Haruhi said sternly. Kotone grinned at her.
"So how was your weekend?" Kotone asked. The two of them started to make their way to the station.
"Ne, alright. Caught up on a lot of study," Haruhi replied. She appeared quite pleased at this fact. Kotone smiled to herself. She had gotten the impression that the Host Club she was in was taking up a lot of her time.
"That sounds great!" Kotone replied.
"What about you, Kotone-san?" Haruhi asked. Kotone held back frown. After the clash she had with her mother on the friday night, she had spent as much time as she could avoiding home. She had ended up going to work early, not to much surprise to her boss Haruka who was aware of the kind of relationship Kotone had with her mother. On the saturday night, she had stayed out late and ended up hanging around Doki park by herself half wishing she would run into Ami and her other friends for a drink just so she had an excuse to crash at one of their places. However she knew her chances were slim. They had after all only been there the previous night, a party Kotone had rejected so she could hang out with Taro, Ryuu, Gorou and Yuki.
By the time she had gotten home, her mother had long been asleep. It was good. If she avoided her for long enough the fury would slow to a halt and they would, like they always did, forget the argument had ever occurred.
"Oh not much really. I hung out with some new friends from school on friday night at one of their houses. Other than that, just work on Saturday morning," Kotone replied. She laughed nervously.
The two of them walked in silence for a several minutes.
"So what's up with the new look anyway?" Kotone asked, changing the subject. Haruhi grimaced.
"Tamaki-senpai insisted I become a host and organised this uniform and some contact lenses," Haruhi stated. Kotone smiled.
"Ne, Tamaki? Is he a friend?" Kotone asked. She stared at Haruhi, analysing her expression for any hint of a smile. She saw none.
"No. Just my senpai. He's the club leader," Haruhi replied. Kotone nodded.
"Ah. I see. It was very nice of them to give you a school uniform though!" she said. Haruhi found.
"I suppose you can say that but the cost for it is going on top of my debt," Haruhi said and sighed. Kotone laughed.
"I'm sure it will work out Haruhi-chan. You have a cute face. A lot of girls go for that right? I'm sure you will be able to pay it off in no time. What are the conditions?" Kotone asked.
"I have to get 100 customers to request me and then I'm free," Haruhi replied. Kotone grinned again.
"Wow! Good luck," Kotone said scratching the back of her neck. "Hey, do you think I'll be able to come and visit you some time?"
"I suppose so. I'll have to check with them if people from other schools are allowed though," Haruhi replied. They two of them arrived at the station and got on the train.
"That would be great. I admit, I would love too see you entertain the ladies Haruhi-chan," Kotone said. Haruhi scowled.
"Yeah, whatever. I haven't actually done any entertaining yet. So I won't be able to guarantee anything amazing," she replied. Kotone reached out suddenly and ruffled Haruhi's hair affectionately. Similar to how Taro sometimes did to her. Haruhi was temporarily startled by the action but soon smiled at Kotone and patted her hair back down.
"What are you saying Haruhi-chan! You'll be a natural at it. You'll have your debt payed off by the end of the month even!" Kotone said.
"Yeah, yeah. Thank's for the encouragement," Haruhi replied smiling.
"So tell me about the other hosts, Haruhi-chan. What is Tamaki like?" Kotone asked. Haruhi laughed shortly and started to explain the ridiculousness of all the hosts.
"Tamaki-senpai is a bit obnoxious. He's supposed to be the princely type. He's a second year who is always prancing around everywhere. He's very loose with is money. In fact, they all are," she said. Kotone listened carefully to what she was saying.
"And what about the others?" she asked.
"Well theres the twins Hikaru-kun and Kouru-kun They're in my year. They represent brotherly love. I don't really get it but they are always acting a lot more intimately than what brothers usually do. There's also 3rd year Mori-senpai an 3rd year Hani-senpai. Mori-senpai is the stoic type while Hani-senpai is the boy lolita. They work together a lot in the club. And then there's Kyoya-senpai. He's the 2nd in charge. He's supposably the cool type. The twins call him the shadow king," Haruhi explained. Kotone grinned as Haruhi explained their roles.
"And what are you Haruhi-chan?" she asked. Haruhi pondered for a moment.
"I don't know. I suppose I'm just a rookie still. They might come up with a character for me later," Haruhi replied. The train slowed down to Yamoto station.
"I'll see you later, Haruhi-chan." Kotone said. Haruhi nodded.
"Yep. Would you like to study together tonight?" Haruhi asked. Just as she was about to get off.
"Yeah sounds like plan!" Kotone replied. She waved to Haruhi as she got off the train.
"See you later," Haruhi said.
Kotone arrived at school shortly. She met up with Taro who engaged her in conversation about what happened after she left at friday night. When recess came, Ami waltzed in, late as usual. She briefly glanced at Kotone but otherwise took no other notice of her. At lunch, Taro and Kotone sought out the others and found an empty classroom to eat in. Overall, the day was reasonably uneventful until after the last bell rang.
Kotone was walking down a busy hallway by herself when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned her head and saw Ami. She didn't look happy. In fact, she looked a lot more dishevelled than usual. She was exhausted, her eyes bloodshot and large dark rings hung below them. Her hair hadn't been brushed and instead had been pulled pulled into pony tail that hung over her shoulder. Her complexion was paler than usual, almost sickly looking. She frowned at Kotone.
"Good afternoon Ami-chan," Kotone said, pleasantly smiling. Ami's expression didn't change.
"Hi," she said. The two of them started walking down the hall together.
"How are you?" Kotone asked when Ami didn't pursue a conversation.
"Not so fucking fantastic, Ko-chan. But you wouldn't know that would you because you haven't seen me in more than a week," she replied crudely. Kotone looked away.
"What's happened?" Kotone asked. Her appearance was typical of what Ami would look like during a bad hangover. However, Kotone was sensing there was another issue she was having that may have also contributed.
"Nii-chan was in an accident," she said. Kotone bit her lip. Ami had an older brother whom she was very close to. Kotone knew him as well. He often bought alcohol for the two of them and would occasionally hang out with them in Doki park. "Car crash on Friday night. I found out when I got home after hanging out with the group."
"Is he alright?" Kotone asked. She was genuinely worried for him.
"Both of his arms are broken. He's still in hospital," Ami said. Kotone sensed she was on edge at the moment. She thought about suggesting to Ami that they go visit him together. However would that mean that Ami would then expect her to hang out with her again? Kotone had plans to slowly unwind their friendship by simply avoiding her.
"Tell him I wish for him to have quick recovery," Kotone said. Ami nodded. She stayed quiet for several moments. The silence was heavy.
"I was so scared, Kotone," Ami said softly, using Kotone's full name without an honorific. Ami had never spoken to her like that before. Her voice was full of such vulnerability, a word barely associated with Ami.
The two of them turned around a corner just before flight of stairs. Ami stopped walking next to the wall so they wouldn't be in anyone's way while they had their conversation. She leaned backwards against the wall. She sighed an placed the palm of her hand against her forehead and proceeded to run her fingers through her hair. Kotone realised Ami was constraining a lot of frustration and anxiety.
Kotone wanted to reply but all words seemed to be stuck in her throat.
"I was so angry with you later that night. I couldn't stop thinking that you should have been there with me like you had every other friday night for the past year. I feel like I've already made this clear but I'm so pissed off that you've just suddenly started ignoring me, Kotone. Please tell me why you've stopped hanging out with me," Ami pleaded. She was looking for a way to vent her anger and emotion. Ami was never afraid to make her feelings known and Kotone had only given her a too perfect opportunity.
"I..." Kotone started. She was unsure weather to lie and say she had just been busy. But Ami knew her so well. Would she be able to bullshit something like that? Kotone had a feeling that Ami already knew the answer. She took a breath, "I hate my lifestyle Ami. I hate the hangovers I get. I hate wasting the money I earn every week on bottles of vodka and Jäger. I hate..."
"You hate me," Ami stated. Kotone saw Ami's eyes start to glisten. A few students turned their heads as they walked past the two of them town the hallway. Out of the corner of her eye, Kotone saw Taro and Yuki heading up the stairs. Taro grinned and it looked like he was about to shout out to her but Yuki silenced him, whispering something in his ear. His expression changed to worried frown.
"No Ami. That's not it..." Kotone insisted. Ami's hand suddenly made contact with Kotone's face. Taro shouted out and made a move to run up the stairs. Yuki restrained him.
"You know, I wish you would just say it. I need to know that if something like what happened to Nii-chan ever happens again not to turn to you for support," Ami said in a raised voice. People stopped to watch the interaction between them. Kotone cupped her cheek in one hand. It stung painfully.
"Ami..." she said softly.
"Try to learn from your mistakes and stop avoiding the issue you have with me like you avoid the issue you have with your mother. We both know how that turned out a year ago," Ami said in much softer voice and before Kotone could respond she had left down the stairs, bumping into Taro's shoulder as she went. Other students continued on their ways, whispering to each other. Kotone remained still.
"Kotone," Taro said as he raced up the stairs to her, followed by Yuki. He put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and Yuki who wore concerned expressions.
"Are you alright?" Yuki asked. Kotone nodded. She finally took her hand away from her cheek. Taro swore under his breath. She assumed a red hand shape had appeared.
"I'm fine. I've been slapped harder than this before," she responded. She shrugged Taro's hand off her shoulder and began to walk down the stairs, the two of them following. "I think I deserved it."
"I don't believe that..." Taro started.
"You don't know me very well," Kotone quickly replied. The two of them seemed taken aback. Kotone sighed and forced a smile at the two of them. "Hey I should probably get home. I'll see you guys tomorrow, ne?"
"Of course," the two of them replied. Kotone stepped out of the school building. She waved at them and they returned the gesture. She walked towards the train station, Yuki and Taro watching her go.
"What the fuck was that about," Taro exclaimed. Yuki turned he head to look at his friend. Taro's expression was just as confounded as his own. It was rare that Taro swore with such seriousness.
"I don't know," Yuki replied. The two of them started walking in the direction of Taro's house. Tonight they had plans to study together. "I told her I wouldn't mention this to any of you guys but last friday before we all met up to go to your place Ami seemed to be confronting her about something then as well."
"Now that I think about it, there has seemed to be tension between them in class," Taro stated. Yuki nodded.
"She is right. We don't know her very well," Yuki said. Taro shook his head.
"I guess it's not like we've ever really spoken to her before but come on Yuki, we were in homeroom with her last year. Obviously she doesn't seem to remember our faces otherwise I think she would have said something. She was always so out of it last year, clearly hungover most of the time. I remember she was often so late to school and teachers were always criticising her. I wouldn't expect her to have ever payed any bit of attention to those around her," Taro said. Yuki was surprised by Taro's insight.
It was true. Kotone had been in their homeroom class in their first year of high school. He remembered how... angry she had always looked. He remembered thinking 'how could someone care so little about their education and health?' and deciding that she was a complete lost cause. Which only bought up another question in his mind.
"What made you go to that classroom Taro? On the second day of school at lunch, I know you made that comment 'I think this one's empty' and everything but you saw she was in there didn't you? You could see clearly through the window that someone was in there. What made you want to approach her?" Yuki asked. Taro grinned and scratched the back of his neck.
"You are too observant Yuki. You are right, I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to know if it was really the same person you see..." he said.
"What do you mean?" Yuki asked. They were only a short way from Taro's house now.
"Well when she sat down on the desk next to me on the first day of school, she smiled and waved at me. And then I was curious. I wanted to know what possibly could have happened to make such a scary person like Kotone smile and wave at a complete stranger like me," he said. Yuki laughed.
"You really are such an invasive person Taro. Most people wouldn't even consider doing something like that you weirdo," Yuki said. Taro grinned momentarily.
"It is apart of my charm," he said. They arrived at Taro's house. Taro fished around in his bag for his house key. "I'm still concerned though."
They stayed quiet for several moments. Taro found his key and unlocked the front door. They stepped into his empty house.
"Did you hear what Ami said to her before she left?" Yuki asked. Taro nodded.
"About her mother? Yeah I did. I don't know what's going on there but I suppose if the opportunity arises I'll ask about it," he replied.
"That's if she's willing to speak about it," Yuki stated staring Taro straight in the eye. Silence took over the two of them. Taro shivered and frowned picking up on the second meaning of Yuki's comment.
The two of them had known each other for a very long time, since they were 11 in fact. They were 16 now and in the 5 years they had been friends they had never had a single issue with each other. He was grateful for their friendship. Gorou and Ryuu had commented several times on the tight 'bromance' that they shared but also acknowledged it was completely understandable. Yuki was very supportive when Taro's parents divorced when he was 12 and always got him back on track. When Taro was 14, Yuki had caught him smoking and holding a packet of cigarettes. He had bluntly told him to stop being stupid and that smoking wasn't going to makes things any easier, took the packet from his hands stomped them in a puddle.
Now that his father had remarried only 4 months ago to his step-mother, Taro had been feeling frustrated. His step-mother wasn't a bad woman, just severely conventional and conservative. Taro felt smothered by her presence sometimes. She wanted him to do well at school, eat right, get a nice girlfriend... All these things Taro felt were important but the way she went about getting him to do them was stifling his enjoyment of his home life. He just wanted to go at his own pace while she would seemingly monitor his every movement and criticise him when he did something that was just 'plainly outrages'.
Yuki had picked up on this frustration Taro was feeling. When he said 'only if she's willing to speak about it' he was also telling Taro he could talk about his own mother if he wanted to. This wasn't the first time he had approached him about his new mother but so far Taro just hadn't been feeling up to discussing it.
"Would you like a coffee?" Taro asked. He decided to ignore what Yuki was implying. Yuki sighed.
"Yeah that would be great," he replied. Maybe Taro would discuss it another time.
As Kotone walked from the station to her house, she couldn't shake a certain feeling from herself. Guilt. She felt guilty that Ami had to drunkenly worry and suffer by herself on friday night when usually Kotone would have been with her. Ami was emotional enough sober. When she was drunk it was only heightened to another level. She could only imagine how much fear would have incased Ami that night.
She put her hand up to her cheek again. It was sore.
Kotone remembered back to the start of high school.
Kotone sat quietly in her seat while students buzzed around her finding places to sit down, chatting with each other. Today was the first day of high school and everyone was excited.
Kotone was the only person from her middle school going Ouran Public High. She was completely alone. She contemplated introducing her self to someone but everyone in her class already looked like they had made friends.
"Yo, can I sit here?"
Kotone looked up to her left. Standing there was a girl in a matching uniform to her own. She had dark hair pulled into a plat over her shoulder and her right ear had piercings all up the side.
"Yes. No one is sitting there," Kotone replied. The girl put her satchel down and pulled up the seat Kotone stared at the girl curiously. Her appearance seemed rough but after she gave Kotone a large grin in her direction she suddenly appeared much softer.
"I'm Ami by the way. Kaneda Ami," Ami said. She held out a hand for Kotone to shake. Kotone took her hand momentarily.
"It's nice to meet you. I'm Kida Kotone," Kotone said and smiled.
Often things were so extreme with Ami. She was sometimes extremely kind and almost patronising or out for a thrill and a good time and other times excruciatingly upset. Kotone had grown used to her though. She just accepted it as a part of who she was.
She arrived home. It was locked. This made her smile, it meant her mother wasn't home. If there was any day where she wasn't in the mood to cope with an argument with her mother, it was today. She pulled out her house key and let herself.
Kotone looked at the clock that hung her kitchen wall. It was still only 3:00. Haruhi probably wouldn't be home for another couple of hours.
She sat down in her mothers armchair, bringing her legs up underneath her. She rested her head against the back of the chair. Maybe just for a few moments she would try and relax herself. If she was lucky she might even be able to sleep away a few hours of guilt.
Haruhi jogged to the club room. She had almost forgotten that today that Tamaki had requested that she come a bit early so he could give her a run down of todays session when she would be hosting. Usually before club meeting she put her bag in her locker but today she simply didn't have the time.
She arrived at the room and pushed the doors open.
"Good afternoon Haruhi. Ready for your first session of hosting?" Tamaki said as Haruhi entered Music room 3. She shrugged. Kyoya who had his laptop out and Tamaki were sitting at a table across the room. Tamaki stood up in a gleeful manner. Kyoya nodded a greeting at Haruhi and then turned back to what he was doing.
"I guess it will be interesting," she replied. Tamaki approached her and flashed her a charming smile. They walked over to the side of the room near one of the buildings large windows where Haruhi put down her bag.
"Are you feeling nervous?" Tamaki asked as he led her to a table near the centre of the room.
"Not really. It's not like this actually..." Haruhi started but was quickly interrupted.
"Well do not fear little piglet. I will be here to help and train you when it's needed. I'll be just sitting over there," Tamaki pointed to a set of couches near by. "In fact, I've just had an idea. Let's work out a secret code of gestures so if you come into trouble or an awkward situation I can grace you and your customers with my charm..."
Haruhi zoned out. It was just another lecture from Tamaki after all. She was beginning to get used to them and realised that most times he didn't actually have anything entertaining or productive to say. It was for this reason however, she was surprised when a small smile started etch its way over her face. She watched Tamaki perform ridiculous movements in front of her, it would be a very unsubtle code, and she decided that maybe she could actually make an attempt to enjoy herself, just a little bit in this club.
AN: Aaaaaand thats it. Thats all I've written. So this story will now be either put on a very long hold or simply not completed. I'm putting together a quick plot line and explanation of ideas that I'll put up in a little bit. Maybe in a week depending on how fast I finish it. At the moment I'm trying to grab all of my unfinished fanfictions and do something with them. If you go on my profile page you'll see I've put up a KyoyaXOC oneshot 'Impressions and Aspirations' that was intended to be an extended fanfiction but didn't get passed the first chapter so I did that up a bit and posted it.
For you bleach likers out there I've also done a MatsumotoXIkkaku fanfiction 'Fighting Loneliness' that again, was going to be the first chapter of an extended fanfiction that didn't continue from first chapter and therefore fixed up and posted as a oneshot.
Thanks for reading guys. I can't say how much I've appreciated the response for this even from the first chapter. It was highly unexpected and very encouraging. :)