Chapter Four
Our arrival at my parents' cottage took me completely by surprise, he hadn't replied with anything for the entire trip and that made me worry even more about my Jake. We had gotten out of the car a while ago, and now we were at the doorstep. "You'll need to sleep early; we will have a long trip on our way to Alaska."
He hugged me tightly and I didn't feel like letting go. I heard the sound of someone clearing his throat and smelled father. Jacob let go of me after two seconds and my heart returned to its normal, almost inaudible pulse.
"Hello Jacob." My father said when he first looked at us, his eyes widened when he looked at me. "What's wrong Renesmee? Why are you wearing Jacob's shirt? And Jacob why aren't you wearing that shirt?" my father was always the first one to get maddened over nothing. "Relax Eddie, everything is fine." They both exchanged deadening glares.
My father's breathing soothed when I heard mother come behind him. "Oh no. Edward, we agreed to this, remember? Calm down honey." She touched his shoulder and he turned towards her. "Bella, can you take Renesmee to her room?" It took my mother only a look in his eyes to know what was going on. "Come Nessie."
I didn't understand anything, but I was instigated to follow my mother whether I wanted to or not. But I needed her advice on those weird feelings that I have been having. We went up the stairs, and after the door closed father started talking. "Mother can you put your shield up?" I asked her politely, I didn't want my father to know that I could perfectly hear him.
She smiled, "I have already had it on the both of you when I heard the car." I joined her with an identical smile. "Look Jacob, if you allow any of this to ever happen again, you can forget about my blessing!" I heard father screech. "Oh, come on Edward. You know very well how I can't deny her anything. And I am more concerned about her wellbeing more than you'll ever know." Said Jake calmly.
"What are they talking about?" I asked my mother. She pressed her lips together; she had never been a good liar. "Look dear, your father and Jacob are simply discussing your safety matters. You know how over protective they can be. When I was still a human, your father didn't even want me to go to La Push."
That was how my mother avoided any unwanted conversations; she just talked about something from her former life as a human. "Well, I know more about the both of you_ shut up" Father whispered the last part; he might have noticed that he couldn't read my thoughts, an indicator that I could hear him perfectly.
"Great." My mother mumbled under her breath. I heard footsteps march out of the door, the sound after that was followed by the quiet silence of the night. "Honey you need to get some sleep before your usual bed time. Come on, put your pajamas on and then go to sleep. I love you." She had always treated me as a child, even in my current state.
I couldn't argue with her want to go observe what they were doing, I would have done the same if I were in her place. "Fine" I said. She smiled her faint, temporary smile before closing the door behind her. I took Jacob's T-shirt off, my clothes were dry again. When I was finished with that part of mother's command, I sat on the bed and held Jake's shirt in my hands. I inhaled the scent, his scent.
The feeling it gave me, it could not even be described by simple words or even the most complex of adjectives. All I could say was that it felt like a thousand butterflies were gathering in my stomach, and my nose was getting warmer, and I never wanted to get that shirt off my face.
My odd thoughts took me aback for a few seconds, and then I was back to reality. The lines which I had thought of, they reminded me of a teen novel which Aunt Rosalie had given me; she said that I needed to learn how the normal teenagers coped with our modern world, so that I would fit in when needed.
The girl in that novel had a 'crush' on one of her fellow peers. She constantly reminded the reader about his 'hot hair' or his 'muscular body'. None of that made any sense to me; but that had been a long time ago. I was immediately shot off my bed, and into one of the suitcases which contained my books basically.
I kept searching till I found that book in particular. I flipped through the pages till I reached the page which I had desired. She was attending some sort of a beach party, very common in the state of Miami. But she said that this one was the best one in her entire life, because this was the first time she had seen her lover.
She wrote: 'I left Lexi alone after that; she had no right to call me a slut just because I almost kissed her boyfriend. And I didn't even do so! He was the cheater; I was just the 'game'. I almost cried but that was when I saw one of Mike's friends. He was so hot I couldn't even catch my breath. That dude had abs! He was twisting his head, making his head twirl too… I caught his scent and I had a thousand butterflies in my mouth, I was in love. He Was The One.'
The book itself was a collection of trivial teens finding their 'right ones'. I couldn't even believe that I would go to such a novel –which was not even worthy of the title- for reference. But if that girl was right, if all the girls at her age shared the same feelings, then that would only mean one thing: I Was in Love with Jacob. I clumsily dropped the book.
Nothing was right at that moment, but it all added up. But how could I have ever fallen in love with a person who practically raised me? God, I almost kissed him today, twice. Love was a feeling I was not ready for, but if I had already felt it, then why wouldn't I have been? "Jacob" his name somehow made its way to my mouth when I rested on the pillow.
I fell asleep with no further thoughts, or dreams. The next morning came by quicker than I had expected, my life was speeding pretty fast already. I groaned when I smelled Jacob's shirt on my bed. "Where are you now? I miss you already." I thought of the last time I had seen Jake; it was last night, during his argument with father. His chances were not that high.
I heard a low knock on the door, my cheeks reddened when I saw myself holding Jacob's shirt. Without further hesitation I hid the shirt under the bed. "Come in." I feigned randomness. My mother came in with her face down on the ground; she lifted it up as if only to greet me. "Nessie, you'd better get ready if we were going to catch that plan." I nodded.
During the next few minutes I was getting ready; doing a few last minute preparations and getting dressed. For that whole while I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about Jacob. I was so worried about him especially with the previous day's conversation with father. They both seemed to be deep into the conversation.
The bags were ready and waiting outside my room, I could hardly carry them myself with my half vampire strength. But that was me, never properly fitting in. I sighed when I remembered my childish thoughts. Whenever I showed that to any family member; Jacob in particular, they would just yell 'No!' I even knew that they said that just as not to hurt my feelings, all families did that. And if not then mine was special, just like me.
"Are you ready?" called father from downstairs. Oh no, he was probably listening to my thoughts about Jacob. There was no reply to my thoughts so I took that as a yes. "Great." I mumbled like an obnoxious teen. My fears that I would become like those pathetic, ignorant almost- young adults in those books, movies, series and magazines increased. I was already whining like one.
My father chuckled from downstairs. "Yes I am ready father." I said in the most neutral voice possible. "But I need some help with these cases, can you help me?" I heard fast footsteps on the stairs and I was shocked when my father appeared next to me in about two seconds later. I panted hard, and was about to laugh my heart out. "You know, considering that you have spent your entire life with Vampires and Werewolves, I would have expected you to get used to it." He said while grinning.
I tried to act as if he hadn't read my thoughts, just like he did. He carried the heavy bags like they were full of nothing but foam. Ever since I was young, I had prayed thousands of times to become a full vampire, or a full human, if it were possible. But being in the middle of both worlds seemed like I belonged to none of them.
"Don't think of it that way Renesmee. Think of it as being special, you have more than just your ability to transfer your thoughts into other people's minds as a gift. You are gifted, by both your mother's abilities and mine, or the exact opposite. But what matters most is that you are your own unique self, Renesmee." My father's words should have encouraged me, but I was in no position for them to do so. Thank you. I thought so that he would know that he had been a good parent.
He glared at me; I looked down and raced him down the endless stairs. My mother was waiting for me downstairs –as I had expected- but she was not holding her own bags, they might have been in the car. "Hey Nessie, whom would you like to go with? Jacob or Edward?" There was an ironic edge in her voice, what was it with her and comparisons between father and Jacob?
But her question baffled me. Yet no comparison should have been done. "Jacob" was what I inevitably answered; she should have expected that answer. She laughed her usual quiet laugh, and I blushed, right in front of her. "You remind me of myself as a human, you've grown so much." And for no found reason, she hugged me. My mother had always been emotional ever since I have reached 'puberty', at least physically.
After she finally let me go, she held me by the shoulders and said "he has been waiting for you outside," I shuddered at the verb; he must have been waiting for a lot of time. I wasn't sure why I was still standing there, so I quickly moved towards the door. I had my hand on the handle, but before I could twist it, the door opened by itself only to reveal Jacob behind it.
"Hey" I greeted, trying to hide the uncontrollable relieved screams behind my tone, hopefully I was successful. His frown immediately lit up into a smile. "Hey Nessie, I've missed you so much." He pulled me into another painful hug, which I gladly accepted. But if my ears hadn't mistaken, Jacob would have said that he actually missed me.
Translation: he actually cared about me. I cursed my trivial teenage hormones; did all people in my age think that way about their love interests? But were they all like Jacob? There were so many questions on my mind and I have been simply neglecting them; saving them for later answers.
"Mother says that I can take a ride to the airport, with you. So may I?" politeness was really the last thing in my mind, but it came naturally with Jacob, but it was later questioned. Jacob's grin widened that it now looked as if his face would crack at any moment. "You didn't even need to ask, did you know that?" he hugged me tightly, till my father cleared his breath again.
He seemed to be always the one who ruined the moment, God I was starting to sound just like them! I giggled along with Jacob and we both got into his car, my much favored one. At least it was better than father's new Mercedes. Or was that just because it was Jacob's? In both cases, I just loved the car.
"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to go with Edward?" he asked seriously. I playfully shook my head. "Two hours in your car, or thirty minutes in Father's? That doesn't seem like a fair comparison now does it? For father I mean," he laughed with me, and in the next minute we were in the open road.
I decided to start a harmless conversation to pass the time. "So, are you still certain about your decision to come with us to Alaska? It's all just like a huge forest you know?" Harmless might have not been such a fit adjective. "Nessie, you know that I am perfectly satisfied with my choice. Nothing in my life matters more than you." His eyes concentrated onto mine for reassurance. I looked away and nodded.
So, that was a dull topic, since he always repeated that last sentence through my entire life. Yet I had never come to think about it till now. Could his sentence have meant any other than the stated, what he wanted me to think? Or was it just simply something best friends said to one another as comforters? The awkward silence was not uncomfortable, yet Jacob might have felt other wards.
"Nessie, can I ask you something?" he said after he had blushed a deep red. "What is it Jacob?" I carelessly asked. "Why did you choose me instead of Edward? For real this time." As if my previous answer had been false. "Because, I wouldn't want to sit in silence with my father, who is coincidentally a mind reader." I joked, yet Jacob didn't join. "What's the matter now? Are you still worried about the pack business?" I didn't have to feign concern for Jacob.
He breathed heavily and pressed his foot on the pedal even harder, increasing our speed. "We just need to arrive, fast." Jacob looked in panic, the expression someone would get when a serial murderer was after him. I looked behind the car, there were no other cars besides Father's, problem occurrence explained.
Father had been so hard on Jacob during those days. He hadn't even called him to tell him that he would be taking me. In a matter of minutes we arrived at the airport; I had underestimated a lot.
AN: More updates to come... I hope so, I'll write as soon as I get the chance .