Chapter Three

I don't usually spend time with my mother. We don't have much in common but our love for Dr. Phil. That's one man that can wear his hairless head, and moustache, and make it look great. But then some woman came on the show, and she said she could trace down every important event in her life, and that from those events she could see every single path she could have took, having made different choices.

I think we aren't aware enough of the importance our actions have. One tiny action can change generations. For example, if my grandfather had told my father that he could do whatever he set his mind to, and that he would support him, my father most probably wouldn't have the job he has now. My grandfather wouldn't have died young because of a heart attack caused by stress and my father wouldn't have done all those school years to end up stuck in an office to make his father proud. And if my father hadn't taken that job, he would probably have a job that made him home a little more, and if that would of happened, who knows how I'd be. I'd probably be a much more stable person, and if I would be someone better, I probably wouldn't grow up to raise children that are going to end up hating me when they're old enough to understand that I'm not the best parent around.

So I guess I should remind you that we should always try to be the best we can be.

The point of this is to say that today, I was fully aware as I stepped into the cafeteria that I was gonna have to make one of those choices I remember years later.

I saw my friends sitting at their usual table. One of my good friends, Frank, waved at me and smiled. But you and I both know I wasn't looking for him.

I spot her sitting at a table in the corner of the room. She's sitting with a girl I know to be her 'speaker', some girl in most of her classes that has a def and mute mother and can read her signs for when she needs to talk. Personally, I would find it annoying to have someone talk for me and follow me like a 2nd shadow and all, but I guess she doesn't have the choice. I doubt throwing her cell phone in some teachers face when she needs to talk wouldn't be too convenient. There are a couple of other people sitting with her, but they don't seem to be talking to her, or interested in her much. I can't help but get a little angry at that. But I'll give that to her, Spencer might not be having the time of her life, but she sure can blend in just fine.

Here is where I have to choose a path. But the thing is that; I don't think I even hesitated for more then a few seconds before walking to Spencer's table.

''Hey, you look jolly!'' I say, I guess a little too cheerful for when you use the word jolly. Jolly is a word to be used with caution. She gives me a look that says boldly 'Are you kidding me'.

''Come on sunshine! It's a beautiful horrible day! The rain is pouring, the teachers are boring, and if you're lucky like me, you're skating home, to come back drenched and very much smelling like wet dog, and you therefore won't have a date for Mike's party Friday because no one likes smelly people! Here's something to be happy about!'' I tell her with my faux cheerful voice. I can tell she's not having one of her best days. I'm not good when it gets too personal. I'm a disaster if you put me with someone crying or really hurt. I never know what to say but bad jokes and swear words.

''It gets better, you know?'' I shrug; I gave her an honesty I haven't in a long time.

She's a smart girl and releases. She looks at me and smiles slightly.

Today she looks heavy. Like something is just bringing her down. I don't know what to make of that.

I turn to look at the table, The Hulk on my lunch box, looking at me sweetly as he flexes his green muscles. For some reason, I only love men when they're fictitious monsters. I feel like I'm 13 when I walk around with it, but that simple stupid kid lunch box makes me feel so happy. I nudge Spencer and show her The Hulk, and I guess it works on her too because she smiles at me.

I'm humming a Pussycat Dolls song I got stuck and glued to my head as I unpack my Pepsi, ranch dressing and croutons. Oh why yes, I am making healthy choices.

I offer Spencer some of my Pepsi; I hope she knows that I don't want to make a habit out of this. This is a special occasion. I tend to get violent when people don't realise that one sip, is actually that, one sip. She shakes her head.

So I'm like; ''Okay then.'' And I'm kinda looking at her like she's not completely a real human being.

And then I'm like ''I wont beat up if you want a sip,'' I take a look at her juice. It's from the lunch ladies. It's purple. ''Come on, its okay, your juice is purple. I almost owe you this.''

I say all that is made purple, isn't meant to be eaten. Like grapes, purple cool-aid, Hulk's shorts and purple Nerds. She hides her smile behind my bottle as she takes a sip.

The days seem to pass so fast. Tomorrow is Friday. Again.

I see her sign something to that girl, and she signs something back.

I won't tell Spencer that instead of skating, watching documentaries and playing zombie games, I've been spending all my time learning how to sign on this online site. And I won't admit to anybody else but myself that I've never studied so hard in my life. Spencer said something about me, and to ask, and house, and that's all I was able to catch, they're going a little to fast for me.

''Spencer wants to know if you want to hang around at her place tonight, maybe stay for dinner,'' The 2nd shadow says, ''And she says that her dad has been working so much these days, he hasn't had much time for personal grooming, so he almost has a moustache…''

I look at Spencer with my mouth open. I totally melt. She grins. Ew; she's so disgustingly cute.

So I'm like, ''Yeah for sure.'' I also take a few seconds of my time to send dirty looks to the 2nd shadow.