Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.

A/N: This chapter is more serious than the others have been seeing as that was just how I had set it up. There are a few warm and fuzzy moments though and I hope you will like that. I know some readers hate the seemingly unrealistic things but I promise you, not all the chapters are as gooey as this one. Holly isn't really the fluffy type.

Chapter 4-In which secrets are revealed

Embry's POV:

There was a ringing in my brain that wouldn't shut up. What? What had she just said? After freaking myself out for hours I come here to find out she already knew! And at what cost? Only my sanity! How long had she known anyway? If she knew before why didn't she say anything? Why was she here now if she was ok before with never wanting to see me again? These thoughts were jumping around my head so fast it blocked out any other previous thought that might have been there. I could barely remember my own name, only I couldn't say anything at all, it was like someone had just ripped my tongue out and then shoved it back down my throat. Seriously what?! How could this even be possible?

I watched as she slowly uncoiled her arms from my waist cautiously and bit her lower lip. She looked slightly scared. I wondered if I may be losing it, so I stole a quick glance at my hands to make sure I wasn't shaking too bad. What surprised me was that I wasn't shaking at all, I was completely frozen. I took a deep breath, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth and stared at her from underneath my eyelashes. Maybe I had heard her wrong.

"What did you just say?" I asked, the silence was still ringing in my ears, so much it almost hurt.

She sighed, almost with relief, probably glad that I hadn't exploded out of my skin. That is if she truly did know about me.

"I wasn't going to say it like that." She said softly as she pinned a lock of hair behind her ear. I just kept waiting, she still hadn't confirmed what she had just revealed to me.

"You're a werewolf…aren't you?" She asked as she crawled cautiously back closer to me again.

I didn't want to say yes, I wanted to lie to her, to make everything better and happy again. How could she be so accepting of this fate of mine when I was not?

"How long?" I asked her instead, I outstretched my hand to take her small and delicate one in my own only I stopped halfway not knowing if I should.

She smiled encouragingly up at me and took my hand giving it a light squeeze. Probably still glad that I wasn't ripping her to shreds right about now.

"I've known for a while, I saw you walking by my house that one day…before you left."

Before I left, she was making it sound as if I had just gone on vacation or something. She added the last part hesitantly, probably not wanting to go back on the lighter mood she had been trying to establish. But I wouldn't let the anger bubble up inside of me, not with her tiny hand clutched in mine, not now. Even if it did hurt, the fact that she didn't tell me that she didn't want me to go.

"Why didn't you say something Holly?" I said harsher than I had meant to. But she rubbed her thumb in slow soothing circles on my hand and it calmed me down some.

"Sorry," I said putting my other hand up to squeeze the bridge of my nose in concentration.

"No it's alright, you should be mad at me. I still don't even know why I didn't say anything, it's bothered me every single day since then, you don't even know." She then took her hand away from mine quickly and readjusted herself to sit on her knees in front of me. I looked at the dirt beneath us instead knowing that if I dared look into her sparkling green eyes I may say whatever came to mind.

What she did next surprised the hell out of me. Her hands took firm hold of either side of my face and forced me to stare at her and only her. A fierceness shone in her eyes like nothing I'd ever seen before and she brought my face so close to her own we're were just mere inches apart. For a second I had no idea what she had in mind. My mind went blank.

"I know I've made a lot of mistakes Embry, but I don't ever make them twice."

I didn't blink, I just waited motionlessly. Wanting to believe her with everything inside of me, wanting what she said to be the truth so badly.

Holly's POV:

It was as if his giant brown eyes were trying to lift the truth up from my own. He was just waiting there, hoping. His large hand slowly reached up to take mine and he held it to his chest. I felt his heart beating wildly and I remembered what this meant. He knew it too.

It had been a couple summer's ago when it happened. The summer right before he changed actually and I had gotten real sick. It was pneumonia only it was in a pretty bad stage seeing as I had had the flu for a while before that too. My immune system wasn't working as it should, it had weakened a lot from the flu. I was taken to the hospital I don't even remember the trip or what day it was. All I remember happening was I was just hanging out with Embry in my living room as he waited on my every whim. He wrapped me up in a heating blanket and ran around fetching me all the Saltine crackers I wished for and countless hefty bottles of Ginger Ale. I just giggled weakly at his eager to please attitude but I was actually starting to feel dizzy. I figured it was from all of the attention. So I just stood up and said, "maybe you should go home, I need my rest anyw-" But my voice had drained to a whisper and the ground came zooming up to my face. The last thing I recall was Embry's frantic call of "Holly!" before I hit the ground and completely blacked out.

I opened my eyes a few days later only to find myself strapped to a hospital bed. I was rather surprised that I didn't have too many tubing's and wires hooked up in me, but the second I thought that I saw a collection of them by my bedside. I must have seriously recovered since I last had all those stuck in me. I grinned feebly, noticing the weakness of my jaw muscles, not to mention every other muscle as well. Embry had fallen asleep in the chair to my left next to my bed. His leg was carelessly draped across the arm of the chair.

"He hasn't slept for about a week, I was beginning to get worried." A nurse whispered softly as she placed her hands on her hips and shook her head at him. I just laughed weakly and shrugged my shoulders. I cringed momentarily at how heavy my shoulders felt. She just nodded and walked off hurriedly, probably off to fetch me some more pain medication.

That was when I saw it. It was this tiny little snow globe on my nightstand amongst the many vases of flowers. I picked it up slowly and held it in my hands. There was a small tag on it that read, "Hope you like her. Love, Embry". It was sparkling all over and it had this tiny little white teddy bear with huge green eyes inside of it. It was wearing ice skates and was hugging a big old yellow sun to its chest. I shook it up and down once gently and it began its song. It was the tune to you are my sunshine. So I sang with it as best I could.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

Embry's hand curled around mine and I scooted over in my bed so he could climb in too. I put my head on his shoulder and breathed in as deeply as I could. He smelled like vanilla and peppermint. I wondered if he had been eating the hospital gift shop candy, and if that had been all he was eating for a while.

He then placed the palm of my hand to his chest and said, "hear that? You scared me to death Holly."

"I'm glad you stayed." I whispered as I began drifting off to sleep.

"I'll always be here for you." He whispered back.

That's what he meant when he put my hand to his chest just then. It meant that he was telling me he'd always be here for me. I knew I probably looked like I didn't believe him cause he added, "I mean it." But who could blame me. He had said this before and then he left me. I wasn't prepared for him to just come leaping back into my life again and expect me to trust him right off the back. Sure I wanted too, but I was afraid. And coming from me that was a pretty scandalous thing. I was never afraid of anything.

Embry's POV:

She looked hesitant and I couldn't blame her. I wouldn't believe me either, not after how I hurt her before. Not after that. I didn't know how to make her believe me so I opened up my stupid mouth again and said whatever I was thinking, desperate to make her believe me.

"Holly, I've missed you ok? More than I can even explain, I just didn't want to hurt you, you of all people should understand that! I mean you knew, you knew what I was….what I am Holly! What I am isn't even feasible or possible in any way but it just happened. I didn't want it, I was so happy with you, you made me feel real and better no matter what happened. You were and still are a part of me!" I said slightly shaking her, begging her to understand. She was looking at me with those fierce eyes again.

"You were my best friend Holly, I didn't want to hurt you."

There was a long moment of silence in which both of us were still.

"Well you did."

I let go of her arms as another shock was sent through my entire body. I felt as if I had been slapped. I had hurt her after all. And I knew that. I had put her through probably one of the greatest losses of her life, when I didn't even need to. Sure she had accepted it and turned away from me. But she was only being noble. It was me. I had hurt her, and without even meaning to.

I didn't weigh what I did next carefully at all, but I was very glad I did it. I lurched forward and hugged her to me, as tightly as I could without cutting off her air supply. Hugging me was probably the last thing she ever wanted to do to me but I only gripped tighter.

"I'm sorry."

She hummed softly and wrapped her arms around my neck in response, planting her chin on my shoulder lightly and squeezing back in return.

"I know."

We were both glad we had each other back. And for her to hug me back was just irrational seeing as she was never one for sentimental moments. She tended to shy away from things like that, I never had seen her cry before. Not that she was now, it was just unfathomable at all that she was hugging me.

And of course the second that thought came to mind she leaned backward and smiled at me coyly.

"So how about some lunch then I'm starving." She laughed some at my expression as I stared at her questioningly. Talk about a major mood change, how crazy was that. Holly was pretty crazy though so I'm not really sure why it surprised me.

"Well I guess brunch would be a better word, but you know, now that that's all over and done with." She continued as she pushed herself up into a standing position and took hold of my hand. I knew it wouldn't last long, it was just a matter of time. You see, Holly always got kind of uncomfortable in situations like these, like I said before, she liked a liked a lighter mood. So I. just went along with it, not to mention the aching pain in my empty stomach begging me to eat something soon seeing as I had skipped breakfast for this girl.

"Sure. Let's go to Port Angeles though."

"Agreed, I'm feeling a lot like a cherry coke what about you?" She brushed off some of the dirt on her knees and smiled up at me.

"Whatever you say Holly…just as long as I'm driving." I cracked a grin at her and she smirked back at me, before dangling her keys in front of my face and sprinting off in the direction of the beach. I just laughed and chased her all the way back to her car.

A/N: I know it wasn't a really light and happy chapter but it was needed I think, also I couldn't bare to leave you all with that terrible cliff hanger. So please review, thank you thank you.

Next chapter preview:

"Could we get a table in the back?" Holly asked as she wiggled her eyebrows and put on this brooding expression. Her hand slid down my arm and she smiled up at me with this crazy affectionate look in her eyes.

As soon as the waitress stepped away, smiling at us endearingly, Holly snorted and tried to choke back the laughter that was enveloping her. Probably because of the shocked look that I knew that I was giving her.

"Holly what are you doing?"

"Getting us a good table, now shut up we're newlyweds."