Thanks to Samantha Spanner for several great ideas, not all of which appear in this chapter.

"What?"

"That makes no sense—"

"Who wrote that?"

"I'm not that psychotic…." Astrid muttered. "I would never kill Toothless, even if you were some sick couple and I was jealous, I wouldn't be stupid enough to try and comfort you, and I most especially wouldn't blow up Berk and ride off with Snoutlout."

"What does that mean?" Snoutlout demanded.

"It means she doesn't and won't ever like you," Ruffnut explained.

Hiccup bit his lip, looking awkward. "I most definitely wouldn't fall in love with Toothless, but I can't promise that if anyone killed Toothless I wouldn't go nuts."

Astrid cleared her throat. "I can promise none of us are that stupid." Her eyes lingered on Snoutlout. "None of us," she promised.

While the others read, Hiccup carefully inked fanfiction terms and definitions onto a scroll. "OOC," he read. "What?" He sighed. "This should be counted as hard labor."

"Who is this Camicazi?" Astrid demanded. "I've read way too many where she hits on you and we fight. Who is she? Do you know her?"

Hiccup cocked his head. "I feel like I could know her, like, in a different world. If that makes sense."

"Not at all."

"You know," Snoutlout leaned against Ruffnut. "We have a fair amount of supporters." She rolled her eyes. "I'll consider it, but only if you get out of my face. Besides," she resettled, "Apparently I have supporters for me and Hiccup. Half of these things have me and Astrid going out of our minds with jealousy over Hiccup and one of us dies in the catfight."

Astrid coughed, "You." Ruffnut glared, but thankfully she was distracted by Fishlegs's groaning.

"This is so out of character," He mused. Hiccup yelled in triumph. "Out of character! Thanks, Legs!"

"What's so out of character?" Tuffnut asked.

Fishlegs made a face. "Someone put me and Astrid together. Would never happen for one, and two, I was so not right. I was too…bold." he blushed.

Tuffnut looked at Ruffnut and smirked.

"Quit, dumbbell!" she snarled. "Or I'll feed you to Toothless." Toothless' ears perked up.

Tuffnut edged away from the dragon's bright green eyes.

Snoutlout giggled at his scroll. "Hehe. Drunken Toothless."

"Don't give him any ideas," Hiccup cautioned. "I have enough trouble keeping him from getting into ale at the mead hall."

"Can you imagine him drunk?" Ruffnut laughed.

"Falling everywhere…"

"Pounding headache…"

"Couldn't fly straight…"

"Might try to eat Hiccup…"

"Might try to eat you," Hiccup suggested.

Snoutlout pouted.

Everyone else laughed.

"Doesn't it change the entire story if Hiccup takes Toothless and takes off? Then he and Astrid would never get together, then the battle of the Green Death would have never happened, then Berk would be…."

"Different," Tuffnut finished.

Hiccup shrugged. 'It's just fanfic, guys. Nothing in it's true, really."

"Two words: half-dragon. Still just fanfic?"

He scowled.

My next chapter in the works, probably coming up this weekend when my stupid exams end.