A/N: First of all, thank you so much to all who read/reviewed last chapter! It means more than I can say, it really does.
WARNING: please note that this chapter contains some violence, a coarse word, and sensitive material. This story is rated 'T' and not just as a precaution! The violence is more implicit than anything, nothing that happens is meant to offend anyone, and I don't think it's anything too appalling, but I just wanted to be clear.
Chapter 4 is dedicated to StrawberryFields and Fanfiction fan, both of whom left a spectacular review on chapter 3 but who I couldn't thank by personal message. Thanks so much for the reviews!
Chapter 4-Out of the Fray
"No, he would not."
Nymphadora Tonks felt her entire body tense as she whirled around and saw, to her horror, the Death Eater Avery, staring at her with a demonic gleam in his eyes.
Before she could do anything more than make a confused, strangled noise in the back of her throat, he had raised his wand and shot a spell at her. Tonks felt her eyes widen in surprise and ducked right in time, before feeling an arm wrap firmly around her middle and tug her upright. Remus Lupin was holding her with one arm and firing spells with the other in rapid succession, countering and deflecting those of Avery.
As Tonks glanced behind Avery, she felt her insides turn to stone; he was far from alone. Standing around him were numerous other Death Eaters, all of whom were advancing on her and Lupin with incredible speed.
For a moment it felt unreal. As she saw them advancing, it felt as though her mind and body disconnected a bit; she heard nothing but a ringing in her ears and her own heart, beating surprisingly slowly at first but quickly picking up speed. She saw them moving but their motions seemed slowed, fluid-like, exaggerated.
After the briefest or longest of moments, she wasn't sure which, she came crashing back down, feeling the blood surging through her veins and hearing her heart beating faster than it ever had before. All of a sudden, things were not moving in slow motion. They were moving fast. Too fast.
In a flurry of motion her wand was in her hand and she too was firing spells - a shield around herself, stunners towards Avery and Crabbe, Goyle, Jugson, Nott, Rowle, and Gibbon, all of whom she recognized from various wanted posters and pictures from her training. It felt as if the world around her and her attackers slowed to a stop - all the people in the bar were still, silent, it seemed, though she knew they probably were not.
Tonks did not notice the people looking between her and her adversaries with confusion, no doubt trying to decide who was the enemy and who was the civilian. She did not notice when the man from the bar left through the front door, probably to contact the Ministry. She did not notice the screams of those around her, who had finally seemed to recognize her opponents as the enemy - maybe from posters or just from the unprovoked attack. She did not notice when a few people stepped in to fight for her and Lupin. She did not notice anything but the eyes of those she was fighting, their sneers, their yells. She did not even notice that she was still only centimeters from the man she'd been about to kiss.
The world around her blurred into a cacophony of screams, lights, flashes, and yells. Mere seconds had passed since they were attacked and yet it felt likes years. She deflected spell after spell, shot stunner after stunner, hit one Death Eater - Nott, mabye? - and felt herself becoming fatigued. This was not like training, she thought grimly.
In training, she'd fought countless people, but it hadn't been real. Even once she'd qualified she had been the rookie, stuck doing paperwork and talking to paranoid old ladies who thought the neighbor's cat was an unregistered-animagus-turned-murderer. She'd been on missions for the Order, sure, but never like this - she'd never been so obviously outnumbered, so caught completely and utterly off guard. Never before had she fought for her life, not really, and it was a surreal experience.
A few men who were not panicking were ordering the innocent bystanders to leave, and the bar was clearing, but through the chaos Tonks couldn't tell how people were reacting. The Death Eaters weren't masked, probably playing to the fact that the Ministry was sure to try and pass this off as a bar brawl, and she had no idea if anyone understood the severity of the situation. She had no idea who was where, no idea how she was going to survive.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lupin stun yet another Death Eater - Jugson? - and even in that moment she couldn't help but notice how incredible of a wizard he was, how strong. And that thought, misplaced as it was, cost her. As she lost focus for the briefest of seconds, she felt an arm encircle her waist, and suddenly she heard a sickening crack.
It took Tonks a few seconds to realize that she had not, in fact, broken a bone, but had instead been disapparated with. She'd recognize the feeling of disapparition anywhere.
And suddenly, she was scared.
It was not that she hadn't been frightened before - she had been, of course. But that had been adrenaline fueled fighting, chaos. Now she was alone with a Death Eater, she was sure, out of the fray, and the fear was much more acute.
She felt herself fall to the ground as her kidnapper released her, and though she tried to regain her balance, it was too late. When she finally straightened up, wand in hand, three others already had their wands pointed directly at her heart. With a cold, sinking feeling, she looked into the faces of Avery and the Carrows.
"Drop your wand or we'll kill you." Amycus said in an almost bored voice.
Tonks glared at him but complied. He had the advantage and she was sure he knew it. She realized, idly, that it had been a set up. An obvious one. They'd attacked and sent Avery to isolate her and bring her to where the others were waiting.
Tonks, as she stood there, tried to figure out where she was; Mad-Eye'd always said to try to discover your location. They were outside, in a suburban area - an alleyway. It was dark and freezing; the weather seemed the same as in the bar they'd been in. She knew better than to try to disapparate, for they were sure to have put up a ward to prevent it, and she no longer had her wand in hand. She was trapped.
The area looked oddly familiar, and for a moment, Tonks wondered whether they'd been dumb enough - or arrogant enough - to keep her as close as she thought she was to the bar. It didn't matter, though, she knew; there was no way for Remus to find her, not now, not while he was fighting off at least five Death Eaters on his own in a bar full of innocent bystanders. She was utterly alone and defenseless.
"I'll make this easy for you," Avery said in a thick voice. "Tell me where the headquarters of your precious Order are."
Tonks stood, preparing herself mentally for what she knew would soon come, and said, "No."
None of the Death Eaters looked surprised as Tonks jutted her chin out and tried to look as insolent and confident as possible.
"Have it your way, then," wheezed Alecto. "CRUCIO!"
Though Tonks had known it was coming, her mental preparation did not make the Cruciatus Curse any easier. As the light streaked towards her, Tonks knew not to dodge it, for they'd only retaliate more. The last thing she did before the spell hit her was focus on something strong, as Mad-Eye had always told her to. With Remus' smile in mind, the spell hit her squarely in the chest.
No amount of descriptions of the curse and its effects could have prepared her for the pain she felt upon the spell's contact with her skin. She'd read, for training, about the curse; she'd read it was worse than one thousand white hot knives boring into the skin. She'd read it was worse than every bone breaking, worse than being crushed, cut, banged, bruised or anything else she could imagine.
It was more intense and painful than anything she'd ever experienced. It was a sharp, hot, unbearable pain, all over her body, ripping through her and causing her to fall to the ground. It was unimaginable, indescribable. Her thoughts, which at first had been at least slightly controlled, soon jumbled under the influence of pain.
When the curse was lifted after an indeterminable amount of time, Tonks felt as though she was slowly returning to a world the pain had taken her away from. She had no idea she'd been biting her lip hard enough to make it bleed. She had no idea whether she'd screamed or not and no idea how she'd ended up flat on her back when she'd initially fallen to her knees.
"Where are the headquarters of the Order?" Alecto spat at her, brandishing her wand.
She didn't need to tell Tonks what would happen if she refused, for Tonks already knew. But even if she wanted to tell the Death Eaters - which she didn't - she wouldn't have been able to, since she was not secret keeper.
So Tonks said nothing and instead stared into her adversary's eyes, unflinching, appearing much braver than she felt. The woman glared at her before flicking her wand, almost nonchalantly, and repeating the torture.
Knowing what to expect still did not ease the pain upon receiving it. As the curse hit her once again, Tonks could feel her mind slipping, surrendering to the pain, to the urge to black out. Yet she was determined not to pass out, determined to stay awake - it could be the difference between life and death. With this knowledge, Tonks fought hard to, if nothing else, remain conscious.
"Filthy mudblood!" Amycus shouted, spitting into Tonks' face when she sat up after the curse was removed. Tonks felt the spit hit her face seconds after it did - it seemed time was warping, things were slowing down.
She heard Avery scolding Alecto in the background, but his voice sounded faint and far away and was second to the ringing in her ears. He was saying that she'd held Tonks under the curse too long - that she was going to repeat what'd happened to the Longbottoms.
As he scolded her, Tonks felt fear thrill through her - she would not end up like Frank and Alice. She knew what'd happened to them, knew the consequences of being under the Cruciatus Curse for too long - but how could she get out of this? She would not give them any information they desired, she knew that, but could she stall them? Give them false information? Try to flee?
Somebody turned back to her, she wasn't sure who, and demanded the location of headquarters again. Tonks once more said nothing and once more was placed under the Cruciatus Curse. This time, however, it was only used for a few seconds - and she was able to keep her mind through it all.
This was repeated for minutes or maybe hours. They'd demand information, she'd say nothing. They'd use the Cruciatus Curse. As time wore on, Tonks was losing hope of finding a way out. Sure, she was still alive - telling them nothing was preventing her from being murdered, for she had something they wanted - but she was unable to see a way out for herself.
As they tortured her more and more, Tonks felt her body weaken and weaken. Any strength she had was drained by the Cruciatus Curse, and she was left on the ground, unable to stand. She had no hope of escaping on her own - even if she had a wand, she didn't think she had it in her to preform even a simple disarming spell. She was far too fatigued to try to morph. She could not even scream.
She would not be getting herself out, that much was painfully, horrifyingly clear.
This left her with two options - be saved or be killed. It was both comforting and anguishing to know neither was in her control.
Tonks knew that her chances of being saved were slim to none. Even if Remus somehow managed to overcome all of his adversaries, he'd have no way of finding her. Tonks felt sure that at some point the people watching the struggle would take Remus' side; it was clear that he was being ganged up on, that he was the one attacked. But could the people in the bar see that and protect him before he was taken down? What if he was disapparated with, just as she had been? What if he was stunned, or injured, or - no, she wouldn't think that.
But even if he did get help and manage to fight off the Death Eaters, she knew he'd have to spend time at least explaining what was going on, and he'd probably be interviewed by the Ministry, assuming the Aurors were contacted. She hoped, vaguely, that he kept his disguise and was not questioned longer or taken in because he was a known werewolf.
But even if he overcame his adversaries, got out of there, and wanted to find her, how on earth would he? How could he possibly find her? Even if she was nearby, he'd have no way of knowing where she was, and she couldn't scream, not with her lungs feeling like lead, not with so much fatigue, not with her doing all she could to keep from blacking out.
No, it did not seem like she would be saved.
Tonks knew the only other option was death. She knew some people would probably see death as a welcome option, a way out, a way to get rid of the pain. But Tonks didn't want to die, not even a bit. She didn't want death, even if it meant being spared the pain. She had too much she hadn't done - she hadn't kissed Remus, not properly, or told him how she felt, or gotten married, or had children, or visited all the places she'd dreamed of as a child. She couldn't die, not yet.
But at the same time, how could she live? How could she get out of this situation with no strength left in her body?
A large hand yanking her to her feet by her robes made her start and return to the present. Avery and Amycus were surrounding her, looking, if possible, even more sadistic.
"I know how to break her." Avery was bragging, a cruel and bone-chilling smile playing over his face.
Amycus let out a sickening laugh, and Tonks could see Alecto looking slightly hesitant behind them. It didn't take Alecto's almost regretful stare, or Avery and Amycus' evil glances, or the way they pushed her down so she was laying on a stairwell for Tonks to know what was coming, however. It took nothing more than that comment.
I know how to break her.
Tonks felt as if she was about to be sick. Suddenly she felt terrified - truly and utterly terrified. What they were planning for her was much, much worse than any magic could ever be.
I know how to break her.
She felt fear threaten to pull her under and into its dark oblivion as Avery leaned over her, trapping her in between the stairs and his body. She felt fear digging into her as he came too close and began to rip at her robes. She felt fear overwhelming her as she became exposed, vulnerable, naked - and as she thought of what they had in store for her she wanted, for the first time, to die.
I know how to break her.
It was not the way his hands pinned her arms to her sides that sickened her. It was not his crushing lips, which suffocated her, choked her. It was not the fact that he tasted of stale cigarettes and fire-whiskey as he shoved his tongue into her mouth. It was not his hot, moist breath in all the places it shouldn't have been. It was not his rough, calloused hands ravaging her, or the promise of him forcing himself upon her that sickened her.
No. What sickened her, more than anything, was that look in his eyes - the way he raked his gaze over her, the way he didn't even need to touch her to make her feel dirty and violated and unclean.
I know how to break her.
"Where are headquarters?" He all but whispered into her ear, breath making her want to vomit. Tonks said nothing.
I know how to break her.
"You're a whore, you know that?" He spat when she refused to answer.
Still she said nothing.
"I think I'll leave you a reminder, Nymphadora, of what you are." He crooned, still holding her down as if she had the strength to fight him off even if he wasn't.
I know how to break her.
Tonks vaguely registered that he recognized her and wondered whether his relationship with her aunt was influencing his behavior as he reached for his wand and then stood back from her, leaving her with her ripped shirt haphazardly around her stomach, not covering what it should. His eyes raked over her for the millionth time, and Tonks wished, once more, for it to be over. He studied her as if she was a blank canvas and he was the artist, and then, with a flick of his wand, the pain began.
I know how to break her.
It was not the Cruciatus Curse, though it hurt almost as bad. It was a hot, searing, sharp kind of pain, but localized to a spot on her chest, above her heart, not all over, as the Cruciatus would have been.
It came in bursts - five of them. Eventually he stopped and looked back at Tonks with a satisfied expression, and once the pain wore out she realized that her skin felt wet. Hesitantly, she looked down.
I know how to break her.
There, in between her clavicle and left breast, was a pool of growing blood. Tonks had never been queasy around blood before, not even her own, as she fell so often, but there was a lot of it, oozing out of deep gashes - five of them. Five different shapes. Five letters. W-H-O-R-E.
I know how to break her.
Tonks felt sick when she realized what it said and what it would always remind her of. She felt sicker than ever before when she realized that he intended to completely rob her of her innocence, that the worst pain was yet to come.
I know how to break her.
"By the time I'm done with you he won't want you anymore." Avery promised her.
He didn't need to specify. He'd seen her, seen her with Remus...Remus...
Tonks thought she'd be sick for sure, but although she could feel the bile in the back of her throat, she couldn't throw up, couldn't do anything but feel completely nauseated.
I know how to break her.
Tears threatened to come as he approached her once more, but she wouldn't give him that satisfaction, wouldn't cry. That was the one thing she still had control over, the last piece of resistance she had. With strength coming from who-knows-where, Tonks clamped her legs together and prepared to fight.
I know how to break her.
He approached her once more, forcing his hand between her legs, though her jeans were still on and he couldn't take them off without restraining her. He seemed to have thought that she was too tired to fight back, for he tried to remove her belt, but without him holding her hands back, Tonks struggled.
I know how to break her.
It was foolish, really, when she thought about it. Amycus was there, and he and Avery were both armed. And yet she struggled, forcing her knee into his groin and her hands to claw at his face. He yelped and sprang away from her, and in the split second in which he and Amycus were too stunned to do anything she staggered to her feet, yanking her torn and bloodied t-shirt back on, covering herself back up.
I know how to break her.
It was naïve to think it would make any difference, because he still had the wand and the advantage. But suddenly there was a feminine yell from the other end of the alleyway and Tonks watched in shock as Alecto's body slumped to the ground. A second later, Amycus was falling too, and then there was silence. Avery looked around wildly, searching for the source of the stunning spells, but without knowing where his attacker was he could not retaliate, and a few moments later he, too, slumped to the ground, unconscious.
I know how to break her.
Tonks was far too out of it to feel joy or even relief as her attackers became incapacitated. She did not even bother to look for whoever it was that had saved her as she felt the last ounce of strength she had in her legs give out and she, too, crumpled to the ground.
I know how to break her.
With the last bit of energy she had, she closed her robes around herself with shaking hands and drew herself into a ball. There, still far too numb to feel pain or even disgust, she waited.
~ o0o ~
It did not take Remus Lupin long to remove the disillusionment charm he'd placed on himself. It took him less time close the distance between him and Tonks, and even less time to crouch down next to her and feel thoroughly terrified.
In the time it did take him to reach her, he noticed that something was very obviously wrong. She did not look terribly hurt, nor was she screaming or sobbing or anything, and maybe that was it.
He knew, as an Auror, that she was used to fighting and minor injuries. He'd expected to find her healing herself, refusing his help, laughing, joking...he'd hoped to find her like that, anyway. In a worst case scenario, he'd expected crying, unconsciousness, too much pain for her to heal herself, screaming...but not this.
Not silence, not shaking, not a lack of obvious wounds.
He wondered, briefly, if she had some sort of internal damage, but she did not appear to be in physical pain. Her face was blank, indifferent. Her cheeks were streaked with tears, but she was not crying or sobbing. She looked completely exhausted, helpless, and weak. And through every piece of herself that Nymphadora had shown him, Remus had never once seen weakness.
As he bent down next to her, he cursed himself for not finding her sooner, but he couldn't have. The fighting had broken out so suddenly and unexpectedly...he'd done all he could to protect her, himself, and everyone in the bar. He knew they must've cottoned on to their disguises when Dora'd lost control of her hair, and he was thankful that he, at least, was still disguised, but her cover was blown and he'd not been able to help her as they were so outnumbered.
He'd recognized Crabbe, Gibbon, Goyle, Jugson, Nott, Rowle, and, of course, Avery. Some of them he'd met before in battle, in the First War. They were unmasked, and though it meant he could recognize them, he knew it wasn't a good thing; without the signature masks the people in the bar wouldn't have a way to distinguish enemy from civilian.
He'd forgotten how it felt to fight for his life. He'd forgotten the adrenaline, the simultaneous feelings of invincibility and vulnerability, the way the world around him gave out and left just those he was fighting for and those he was fighting against. He'd forgotten how scary it was to see someone else in danger - most of all Nymphadora.
He'd never before fought alongside someone he loved the way he loved her, and it was horrifying, to say the least. He loved James, Sirius, Frank, Alice, Dorcas, Lily...he'd loved them all, of course, but not in the way he loved Nymphadora.
It felt foolish to him, thinking he loved her, when she had no idea. But that had changed, too, right before they were attacked, when he'd almost kissed her. And as he'd been fighting, a tiny part of his brain was cursing himself for not kissing her when he had the chance, because as he fought six Death Eaters, once she'd disappeared - he didn't know if he'd ever have the chance to kiss her again. He remembered thinking that if he managed to get out alive, somehow, he'd have to tell her how he felt, or at least show her. She deserved to know.
So he'd fought; fought for himself, fought for her, fought for the chance to have something with her. But she'd disappeared. And the fear had threatened to overcome him, the despair, the sorrow, the feeling of helplessness - how could he help her when she was gone?
But he'd fought on, knowing he couldn't find her, not yet, and then some men in the bar, after getting the bystanders out, had helped him, and the Aurors had arrived, and he'd been questioned and talked to and prevented from getting to her. Thankfully he'd kept his disguise and alias and they'd let him go quickly, assuming he was just a good samaritan. They hadn't questioned him as they would've if he'd looked like the recognized werewolf and previous Order member he was, especially since he was sure they had plans to cover it up.
And then the Aurors had taken the Death Eaters, the two that had been stunned, with them back to the Ministry, but the others had disapparated when they'd heard the Aurors were coming and they'd gotten away. Once the Aurors were finally gone and people let him go, he'd realized he had no idea how to find them - Avery, who he'd noticed had gone with her, and her. Nymphadora. Dora.
He'd been panicky, but still he'd run out into the street, turned on the spot, and thought, take me to Dora.
Somehow he'd ended up a few blocks away, in a deserted alleyway, with just enough time to disillusion himself before he'd stunned Alecto. He'd seen her a second later. She was standing, looking ruffled and a bit bloodied but not too bad. He'd stunned Amycus, then Avery, and he'd turned to her, to ask if she was okay, but she'd already fallen, fallen to the ground, though he'd only preformed three spells.
And as he crouched down beside her, quickly removing the appearance altering charms so as not to frighten her, he tried to remember how long it had been since she'd disappeared, but the minutes blurred together and all he knew was that it was too long - had they just wanted to kill her they would have already done it.
The realization that more had to have happened hit him, accompanied by a wave of nausea. There she was, curled in a ball, not moving...it was too similar to how they'd found Alice and Frank, and he felt true terror wash over him for the first time that night.
"Dora?" He breathed, fear constricting his voice to barely a whisper.
She looked up at him but her gaze was bleary, distant, disconnected. She seemed to see him, or see right through him, and she said nothing, made no move to sit up.
Her hair, he noticed, had gone a limp, mousy brown, a shade he'd never seen before when she was awake. He realized, quickly, that she must be in her natural state. She looked smaller and paler than he'd ever seen her.
"Dora, are you okay?" He asked, struggling not to panic, looking over her, searching for a wound and finding nothing but some dried blood near her left shoulder, which appeared to be a minor cut.
"Remus. Just-just take me home."
Had he not seen her cracked and swollen lips moving, he'd never have believed the sound came from her. Her voice was weaker than he'd ever heard it, sounding raw, hoarse...and when it broke he wanted nothing more than to hold her close, but she was pushing herself up from the ground now, edging slightly away from him.
But still her behavior could not quell the immense relief upon hearing her speak, upon hearing her make sense - she was not like Frank and Alice. Yet she was weak, something was wrong...
"Dora, what happened?" He asked urgently, not bothering to hide the fear and concern in his voice. "Are you okay? Do I need to take you to St. Mungo's?"
She shook her head slightly, looking as though she was about to fall as she whispered, "Just-just take me home."
A/N: All right, so it's out! That's the reason for the rating. Nothing too bad or too shocking, I hope. This is the chapter I was most nervous about, for what I assume are fairly obvious reasons.
I've never written a fight/action scene or anything like that before, so I'd love to hear how you thought it went! I'll say it a million times; reviews mean the world to me!
Special thanks to my beta and IsThisLove394 for their constant support/handholding, especially in regards to this chapter.
Thanks so much for reading!