"I thought you were a dude."
"I am, Noah. I thought the fact I had a penis and loved having my prostate slammed into every night clued you in, despite the high pitched voice and love for fashion." Kurt anxiously twisted and twirled his fingers from where they sat resting on his knee, daintily crossed over his other leg.
"Then explain this baby shit." Puck stood facing Kurt, hands on his hips. "First Quinn last year, and now you. Who's gonna get knocked up next year, a shrub? Is the Puckerman jizz really that potent?"
"Actually, yes."
"Wait, you seriously think I'm going to have sex with shrubbery in a year or so?"
"What, no!" Kurt rolled his eyes. He may love the mohawk'd teenager, but god damn did he have his moments. "The potent sperm theory, however, seems to have some truth to it."
"Are you sure you didn't fall and hit your head or something? Because that would explain this ten times better than my love juice being overly intoxicating to any life form it comes into contact with."
"I saw a doctor. He said that when my mother was pregnant, she was originally carrying twins, and somehow or other, my unborn sister fused with my embryo, leaving parts of her undeveloped body within mine. Primarily, her reproductive organs."
"You don't bleed once a month like a gaping war wound like every other pussy I've ever met, though. I mean, yeah, you get bitchy every now and then, but I just figured that was you." Puck finally took the seat adjacent to Kurt, tangling his fingers with Kurt's out of habit and instinct.
"I don't understand it either, Noah." The impregnated boy looked up from his intertwined hand to his boyfriend's face, tears pooling in his eyes. "I don't know what's going to happen, or what this all means."
The look Kurt was giving him nearly broke Puck's heart. He had been down the teenage-parent route before, and while he kept true to his word and let Quinn make all the decisions, clearly Kurt being pregnant didn't happen as an accident. The two had been going out for nearly eight months, and both parties already knew they wanted to spend the rest of their natural born lives together. He could only imagine how much harder this would be, not to mention the aftermath, but he would be there for Kurt. He would pick up extra hours working for Burt, and would sell his video games and extra junk lying around his room. He would go with Kurt to all of the baby-classes and doctor appointments, and protect him even more from bullies and bigots who felt like they had the right to vocalize any and all distaste towards their predicament and lifestyle.
Most of all, Noah Puckerman promised in that moment to never let Kurt cry again; he knew his anger at the news worried the other boy, but he couldn't deny his initial emotions or reaction. All he could do was make things better, and he was going to die trying, so help him God. Holding both porcelain hands in his own calloused palms, Puck looked Kurt dead in the eye and held his gaze, their breaths coming out in an unspoken synchronized rhythm.
"I will stand by you no matter what happens. This baby, no matter how obscure and complicated its life will inevitably be, will have two loving dads. This unborn child will be protected night and day, and I swear to you, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, I will never stop loving you, no matter how ludicrous the situations we get ourselves into become." Without missing a beat, the Jewish teenager leaned in and captured Kurt's lips into a kiss. Not hot and fierce with an undying, burning need, but soft, sweet, slow, and sensual. They had the rest of their lives to be together, there was no need to rush something as small and intimate as a kiss.
A/N "Baby" requested by animelvr23.