A/N: Still no Fury... hope you enjoy it anyway!

Disclaimer: All my poor self owns is the idea and Gucchi.

"Why?" the man intoned coldly, staring down the god huddled at his feet.

Thor let out a small squeak, then clapped his hands over his mouth, embarrassed for making such a girly sound. He cleared his throat to try again.

"I, Th-Thor Odinson, order, you t-to take off your hood and sh-show us your face…" he stuttered. The man glared...and glared…and glared… then opened his mouth.

"Alright!" he chirped happily and, with not a flourish, shook the cloth off his head.

Thor faceplanted into the floor.

"The name's Matthew Oxford Davies, nice to meetcha!"

The Avengers, Matthew, and Gucchi were seated around a table, Matthew with his hand held out for someone to shake.

Steve stared at the hand extended in his direction. "Uh...Steve Rogers," he replied, hesitantly shaking the hand and taking in the features of the man sitting in front of him.

Matthew was...handsome, Steve supposed, with black hair and shockingly green eyes amplified with round glasses. That, coupled with his slim yet muscular build, made him quite attractive. However, looking at his deranged grin and the red and gold t-shirt featuring a roaring lion he wore under his robe, Steve felt the intense desire to run and never look back.

Steve blinked, realizing that in the thirty seconds of him observing Matthew, the man had not stopped shaking his hand and was now staring at the captain with a leery grin on his face. Gulping, Steve yanked his hand back and scrubbed at it desperately with a napkin. Tony snickered into his shawarma, then spoke.

"Tony Stark, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. And, you know, Iron Man."

"Who?"

"...You don't know me? Stark Industries...Weapon production?"

Matthew brightened up at that. "Ah, you're the one that caused the mass genocide a few years back," he exclaimed, clapping in delight. The smile abruptly dropped off of his face. "You have no idea how much paperwork that caused me. I just wanted to…"

Finding no words to describe the emotions he had had, Matthew stared at a napkin until it began smoldering. Tony laughed nervously, sweat beading at his temple, and made eyes at Clint. Help me please.

The archer rolled his eyes. "I can't see him, remember?" he muttered to Tony, eyes fixed on the burning napkin. "He got some tech or something?" Tony looked at Matthew a bit more carefully. No obvious weapons or gadgets...the billionaire shrugged at Clint. Matthew took notice, and blinked at Clint.

"Whozzat?"

"Oh, uh, that's Cl- Hawkeye."

Matthew's eyebrow rose and waggled a bit. "Hot guy, huh? I approve."

A strange coughing sound could be heard from Steve. "You okay, Cap?" Clint asked worriedly. The supersoldier nodded, red in the face and not meeting Clint's eye. Tony rolled his eyes and waved a hand.

"And the redhead's Natasha, the dorky guy's Bruce, and the buff dude is Thor. That's everyone, right?"

Matthew nodded approvingly as Tony introduced each person, then clapped his hands. "It was wonderful meeting you all, but-" "No, no, no," Tony interrupted. Matthew looked at him quizzically.

"We gotta take you to Fury."

A/N: YES I'M ALIVE!

Don't worry, this fic is not abandoned. As I (might have?) mentioned before, updates will be sporadic, short, and not very often. *cough cough* - been a year - *cough*

Thank you all my supporters! I am honestly stunned by how many people have favorited, followed, and reviewed this story. I will work on writing more if I can find my inspiration again.

I apologize if people find this whole fic confusing and/or strange. It's more of me exploring my own little universe and writing random stuff that I enjoy :). I can't promise that I'll explain any of it, so it's your decision to keep this on your radar.

I appreciate all reviews, even if they make my poor heart bleed. But that's its natural state of being, so hit me with your worst!