Chapter 3: Joker Vacations in Blüdhaven
Author's Note: Love you all! Please, please review! I will take suggestions for this story! I need some plot Ideas! Help me out! This is the second update for the five I owe you guys! Also, Dawn speaks differently then I'm writing her thoughts, the slang of Blüdhaven has corrupted her English, but I've translated her thoughts to avoid confusion. When she speaks, I'll add translations. I've made it so that Blüdhaven speech is thick with slang so that it's impossible for outsiders to understand. That's why Dawn may on occasion call the team 'foreigners'. To her, unless they're from Blüdhaven, they're foreign.
Disclaimer: I tried to hack the bat-computer in order to steal ownership, but because I'm horrible with computers, I accidently made it blow up. Man, was Batman mad!
Dawn's POV
Tired, cold, hungry. My recently broken arm was splinted with dirty rags, just like the ones that were wrapped around the open gash on my leg. I shifted in my make shift house, a corner of a collapsed building down I the slums. The bullet lodged in my shoulder from last month that I'd never managed to remove, and now the skin had healed over it, grated against the joint. Pretty normal, nothing horribly out of the normal wrong. In fact, I had painkillers! So this was above average. I clutched my only ragged blanket around me tighter. Man, it was cold. My black hoodie and torn jeans did little to keep off the chill. They were old and stained, and the only clothes I owned. My old T-shirt had recently become too holey to do any good, so I'd turned it into wrappings for my feet and wounds. It was good the hoodie was loose, when I pulled my hood up it was impossible to tell if I was a guy or a girl. It also helped that I wasn't terribly curvy, modest would be the best you could say. I heard a tide of murmurs coming from a band of homeless a street down. Rising to my feet, I dropped the blanket and limped over to the commotion. They wee clustered around this T.V. some rich dude had thrown out and they'd snagged. It was still in great working condition, and they were watching something.
"Free's, 'ut's on the clanker that ruckles up yer wagers?" I asked. (Free is a word for homeless, ut is what, clanker means mechanical device, ruckles is unsettles and wager is tongue. 'What's on the T.V. that has you talking so much?' is what she asked.) A middle-aged woman turned to me and gestured me over.
"Ruckleing paps, 'at's ut. Cume tael a geak 'or yerself." She told me. (Ruckleing is unsettling, paps is news, 'at's is what's, cume is come, tael is take or steal, geak is look, 'or is for and yerself is yourself. She said 'unsettling news, that's what. Come take a look for yourself'.) I did as she suggested and joined the huddle. On the screen was this idiot with green hair and a pale face. Seeing him, I cursed.
"The Devil's Devil demon's curse. He's a doozy black bat." There were sounds of agreement. (Devil's devil is Blüdhaven's name for Batman. Demon curse means worst foe. Doozy is an all around insult of intelligence while black bat means a threat. She said 'Batman's worst enemy. He's an idiot, but dangerous.' Devil's devil demon curse has become a second name for the Joker.) I frowned, I couldn't tell, but it looked like he was in top of one of Blüdhaven's buildings. I peered closer, yes; I could recognize the city skyline. What was the Joker, a Gotham baddie, doing in Blüdhaven? He seemed to be speaking, so I tried to listen.
"Good citizens of Blüdhaven!" he began. I snorted, I fell under neither of those categories, "For the wonderful holiday of April fools day, I have decided to take a vacation away from that blasted bat." He frowned, and his voice became lower at that last part. Damn, he was hard to understand through the Gotham dialect. Why didn't he bother to learn Blüdhaven? It would make listening to him SO much easier. Was blasted bat his way of saying Devil's devil? He began smiling again, "And for this holiday, I have devised a wildly fun party plan!" Man, why couldn't he speak like a normal person? I was almost 100% sure he wasn't having a mafia meeting. Why did he use party then? He continued, "I have planted BOMBS all over the city! Only one is real though! However, if you manage to find the real bomb and deactivate it, I have planted a fake hotdog vendor cart that will flood the city with laughing gas! If you stop the gas, the bomb goes off! And if I get bored, I have the remote for both!" He shouted in glee, waving a purple box with two green buttons it. Dawn couldn't really understand the plan, why did he have to talk so weird? But she got that it was bad, it was illegal, and from the skyline, she could tell where he was. She stood up, pulling up her hood and jogged off towards where he was broadcasting. Forget April fools day, it was Dooms day.