She's far too excited. Cosima knows that much. She's been jumpy most of the afternoon, so much, in fact that her mother has threatened twice to send her to help in the shoe store.
"Now, help me with dinner." Lillian demands, "it looks like we'll be having your new friend for dinner, and possibly her brother as well."
Cosima balks, "you can't possibly expect me to be interested in Raymond now. He just left Delphine at the wedding."
"No… of course not. But we are certainly not going to be rude." Lillian instructs her daughter, motioning for her to mash the potatoes more firmly.
Cosima puts her extra energy into the potatoes, and then to stirring the homemade gravy on the stove while her mother quickly cleans the dining room to prepare it for guests.
A knock at the door has her gleefully passing the whisk to her mother while she wipes off her hands and heads for the door.
"Hello Delphine." Cosima greets her brightly as she opens the door to reveal Delphine, alone, clad much more simply in a dark a-line skirt and a white blouse. She's pleased that Raymond has not accompanied the blonde, delighted to have her new friend all to herself. And not have the evening concentrating on her father berating Delphine's brother.
"Bonjour Cosima." Delphine smiles back, seemingly slightly nervous before stepping in to the cozy home.
She wasn't embarrassed of her parents' home. It was a nice three bedroom home, modest, but well furnished and cared for. But she'd gotten the inkling that Delphine was from privilege, then again, Delphine was also one of ten children.
"What does your father do?" Delphine asks looking around, removing her coat and handing it readily to Cosima.
"He runs a shoe store, also does repairs and the like. But he doesn't work on Sundays, my mother just sent him out to get a pie." Cosima tells her briefly, her father's business is not of great interest to her. Although, she knows she will end up working in the store most of the summer, even with the new hires of her father's. She hangs up the coat, and shows the guest into the living room.
"Oh! Do you work there as well?"
"Sometimes." Cosima answered honestly. It wasn't her favourite pastime, but she was cheaper labour than most. "I can't like make shoes or fix them though."
"Hello Delphine!" Lillian greets their guest enthusiastically. "No brother? Oh never mind, Cosima will show you the house and then we'll eat for about six. How does that sound?"
"Very good. Merci, Mrs. Newman." Delphine answers.
"Call me Lillian," her mother insists gently, never overly concerned with formality. But very concerned with keeping her guests well fed and attended.
Cosima is pleased enough to show Delphine around, but inevitably she reaches the same awkward point in the tour.
"So that's my parents' room, my room, the washroom and…" Cosima hesitates pointing at the last door.
"Your brothers?"
"Yeah. They slept there. Mom's cleaned most of it out now, given things away."
"So it's…"
Cosima shrugs. "A spare room." It's the best thing she can refer to it now, but she hates going in there.
"I won't bring them up at dinner." Delphine assures her, "I won't even bring up Raymond."
"What about the other… eight?" Cosima giggles, leading Delphine back down the stairs. The sound of the kitchen door opening and new grumbling alerts her to her father being home.
"Jean-Paul is older than I am, and after Raymond there is Lucien, Marie-Marguerite, Georgeanne, Yves," Delphine stops herself. "Should I really continue?"
"Only if you want to." Cosima giggles at the thought of a younger Delphine squished around a table with all those other children.
"Thérèse, Katherine, et Antoine." Delphine finishes, "but they are quite young. Still little."
"How little?"
"Eleven, eight and five." Delphine finishes with a giggle.
"Wow. Okay. definitely a different family than mine." Though maybe if her parents had had more children she wouldn't be stuck being the only one now.
"It was my normal. I mean, whatever you grow up with is. Besides, I have been at school a lot of that time, I always lived at home though, until recently."
She's about to ask why, now that they're alone. Wanting to much to know everything about this new friend. She's had intense friendships and weathered the fallout before, but this draw somehow surpasses what she's felt before.
"Girls," Lillian calls up the stairs, "we've got dinner on the table. Come on down."
Instead, Cosima simply turns, grins at Delphine and thunders loudly down the stairs like a small elephant.
"Cosima! You're a tiny thing, stop making such a racket!" Arthur hollers from the dining room.
The look on Delphine's face falls somewhere between amused and perplexed. "You did that on purpose." Delphine hisses at her, trying to hide a laugh as she quickly follows her down.
"Guilty as charged." Cosima mutters back, quickly sitting down to eat.
Conversation follows the usual pattern, where Delphine is from, what her father does, about her family. And Delphine has to name all her siblings again, go through the typical pleasantries of introducing oneself over mouthfuls of roast chicken and mashed potatoes.
Cosima watches in surprise as her parents purposefully avoid speaking of religion, she's confused before it hits her. Delphine is French, she must be Catholic. And yet, she'd been at Sadie's protestant wedding. She's curious enough to ask about the differences but knows that her mother will berate her if she so much as nudges towards the subject.
"And then I went to university of Montréal, I lived at home, of course." Delphine assures Arthur and Lillian. "My parents were hesitant, but ultimately my grades and my teachers insisted that I be allowed to go."
"Is it rarer in Québec?" Cosima asks.
Delphine nods, "I should be married already, really, with children of my own. It's… a bit of a disappointment for my family. Marie-Marguerite may marry before me."
"Oh, well," Lillian places a comforting hand on her arm, "I'll bet you found yourself a lovely sweetheart at university. Is there a fellow back home waiting on you?"
Cosima watches Delphine pale, and her smile become rather forced.
"Non. I do not have a sweetheart." Delphine responds as simply as possible. "Anyway, I'll be teaching in the fall, that should fill my time."
"Oh it will." Lillian assures her kindly, "and you never know who you might meet. Cosima must have some friends she can introduce you to, unless of course, you'll be going home to Montreal."
"Young men back around, and not one wants to put in the time." Arthur grumbles. "In my day, you found your person, and that was it. You got married. None of this gallivanting business."
"Arthur…" Lillian chides her husband, "they're still young."
"I don't know." Delphine responds, "I assume so. For now, I'll look after my brother and try to keep him out of trouble."
"That boy…" Arthur shakes his head. "Shameful the way he acted yesterday."
"Dad… let's just leave it." Cosima advises quickly, not wanting this dinner to turn into another one of her father's tirades.
But it's her mother that puts a stop to it. "Dear, let's not offend our guest. He is her brother."
It's after dinner, when Delphine has gone out onto the porch to smoke a cigarette that they are finally alone. The wireless blaring her parents' preferred music into the living room.
"I hope you had a nice time, I'm sorry about my parents." Cosima starts only to be met with a shaking head and a warm kind hand to the shoulder.
"Non, they were lovely." Delphine pauses to take a drag from her cigarette. "I wasn't offended, lots of people ask."
"What was it?" Cosima asks without specifying. She's sure they both know what she is referring to.
"There was… a situation." Delphine finally says diplomatically, sitting next to Cosima on the porch. Whatever that meant, Delphine seemed uninterested in elaborating, she instead holds out the cigarette.
Cosima considers her options, and decides to proceed. She inquires gently taking the offered cigarette from Delphine fingers and taking a drag herself. "What kind of situation?"
"I was engaged to be married." Delphine looks at her very seriously. "I don't think I was ever in love with him, but it was the thing to do, but then I changed my mind." Delphine looks almost sheepish at this. "My parents were extremely disappointed and that was bad enough but then, he…" Delphine shakes her head again, plucking the cigarette from Cosima's fingers, probably to delay her answer.
"Oh no." Cosima breathes, easily able to picture her own parents' distress if she had done something similar. "What happened?"
"Louis became very angry with me and said some very unkind things." Delphine surmises briefly, obviously glossing over the worst of the situation. "Some people believed them."
"What…" Cosima looks into wide open hazel eyes, the vulnerability looking back at her is another surprise. "Were they true?"
"Does it matter?" Delphine laughs humourlessly.
"I guess not. So you were sent away?"
"Yes, my parents are hoping a year or two away will kill the scandal." Delphine pauses, "and they do not feel comfortable leaving Raymond to his own devices. It all worked out."
"So that's your secret." Cosima nods.
"Oui." Delphine answers, "do you want to smoke another?"
"No. But, I'll share my secret with you." Cosima offers, "it's only fair." And she's been told many times not to tell people. Not to explain anything, and yet, she wants to tell Delphine.
"What is it?" Delphine props herself up.
"My family name isn't really Newman. Well it is… but it was changed from Niehaus." Cosima confesses quietly. "It's German. My family is German, not English. But… it's safer not to be."
"But your family…"
"Has been in Canada a long time, my grandparents changed it when they immigrated." Cosima says simply.
"I don't mind." Delphine says softly, reaching out to stroke Cosima's hair, to reassure her. "It doesn't bother me." There's a warmth in Delphine that's new, that she cannot explain.
Part of her finds it difficult to hide her surprise. "You're not going to call me a Nazi?"
"Non. I'm not." Delphine pushes herself to stand, "I should get home."
"I could drive you." Cosima offers eagerly without thinking, "I mean, if you want to get home a little faster."
"I'd like that. Thank you, Cosima."
Present day
"Cosima." Delphine chides her softly, not moving from her spot on the couch next to her re-found love. She shifts, starting to gingerly flip the page.
"What? He doesn't care. I'm betting money on Max here having a boyfriend." Cosima stops her from turning the page, intent on looking at this image of their younger selves, near-perfectly preserved in time.
"Umm yeah, I do actually." Max replies cordially, happy enough to share, "Daniel."
"Daniel. See?" Cosima turns to Delphine with a satisfied look on her face, "And once Delphine was my… girlfriend?"
"Lover?" Delphine tries brow furrowing. Amoureuse. That is the first word to come to her mind. L'Amour avec le grand 'A'.
"You're rushing the story." Cosima chides her gently, fingers cupping Delphine's jaw.
"I am not." Delphine insists.
Max looks between the two of them, "I think, I'll leave you two alone for a while. But umm, if you need anything. Or want to let Daniel interview you for his LGBT blog, let me know."
"Delphine." Cosima sighs, snuggling herself into Delphine's cheek. "Weren't we dishy?" She lets her fingers linger besides the photo. Remembering that day, remembering all of those gorgeous days that followed.
Her love laughs in response. "We were."
"It's too easy to love you." Cosima mumbles, "I wish I could still dance. I'd love to dance with you."
"Oh, Cosima." A warm kiss is pressed to her forehead, "I don't care about that."
"Well I do…" Cosima backs away with a mischievous smirk, "imagine all the trouble we could get up to if I weren't reliant on that damned contraption."
"Are you referring to your walker?"
Cosima scowls. "Yes."
"I wish… I wish we'd found each other again before now." Delphine sighs, "I was widowed, nearly thirty yeas ago."
The reaction is instantaneous. "Why didn't you try to find me?" Cosima asks roughly, hurt. "You knew I was in Toronto, you knew!"
"I… I was afraid." Delphine says finally. "Not of what people would think, though my children would probably have had a problem with it. But… after so long I thought you would have found someone."
"I did." Cosima laughs. "For nearly twenty years, she and I shared our lives. This was once Laura was grown… I couldn't risk losing her." They both know what that means.
"What happened?" Delphine asks gently.
"She died. Cancer." Cosima laughs, "the doctor said it was all her damned smoking that did it. I guess we just got lucky. I quit decades ago."
"I"m sorry." Delphine's apology is genuine. But she doesn't ask the woman's name, as if she prefers Cosima's former partner to remain nameless and faceless a while longer.
"Me too." Cosima smiles, "but it doesn't change how happy I am to have found you."
"We were so happy." Delphine admires the photo through the thin plastic lining of the photobook. She has a few photos of Cosima, or with Cosima. But it's this early one that delights her. After all, that was the beginning of everything.