Randy and Mickie ended up watching a movie in his hotel room. Now that the cat seemed to be out of the bag for the most part, they figured they could be a little less secretive. They weren't going to come out and completely flaunt their relationship. It still wasn't anyone else's business but theirs.
"What are we even watching?" he asked Mickie. He hadn't been paying much attention to the movie Mickie had ordered on pay per view.
"Slumdog Millionaire," she answered.
"Okay, why this?"
She grinned at him. "Because I want you to pay more attention to me than the movie."
He grinned back at her. "Oh really?"
"Yeah."
The phone rang, interrupting anything from getting started it. Randy was the one who answered it. "Hello."
"Hi honey," Sam said cheerfully. "I didn't wake you up did I?"
"Of course you didn't Sam," Randy said, saying his wife's name out loud so Mickie would know to be quiet. "I was just going to call you and make sure you and Alannah were doing okay."
Sam's smile could almost be heard in her voice. "Aw, how sweet of you. Yes, we're fine. We miss you, but we know you're going to be coming home tomorrow morning."
Randy winced. With everything that was going on with Mickie, he had almost forgotten about his flight back to St. Louis tomorrow. "Yeah, I can hardly wait to see you guys. Can I talk to Alannah real quick?"
"She's asleep right now. She had a play date with the neighbor boy Peter and it tired her out. But I know she's excited about you coming home. She keeps asking about you nonstop."
Randy grinned. "Well I'm excited about seeing her too." He glanced at the clock. "Listen Sam, I should really get some sleep. My flight is in a few hours and--"
"Oh of course," Sam said quickly. She didn't sound very upset by the conversation being cut short. "I know you're probably tired after working so hard. I just wanted to check on you before you went to sleep."
"Well I appreciate the concern. I love you."
"I love you too. Bye."
"Bye." Randy hung up the phone and sighed. It had been really hard for him to act natural right then and there. He looked over at Mickie. She was trying to act like she was really interested in the movie, but he knew she had been listening to every word he had said. "I had to tell her I loved her you know."
She looked at him. "I know you did. You do love her. I know that."
"It's not that I don't care about you at all. It's just that--"
"Sam is your wife Randy. You're supposed to love her." Mickie sat up and turned off the television. "This thing with us…it's not about love. We both knew that from the beginning. Yes we've had sex, but it's not about love."
"Then what is it about?" he asked. He was really interested in hearing her theory because he was losing track as each day went on.
She shrugged. "Friendship…control…comfort…hell if I know. I know the voices don't bother you when you're with me and you need that release from them. I also know that you need to gain control of them again and I want to help you gain that."
"And what's going to happen to us if I ever do get that control?"
"I don't know. I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it."
Randy sighed and snuggled up against Mickie. He didn't know what to think anymore. He did love Sam. There was denying that fact. She had stuck by him through some difficult times and she was the mother of his child. She was the first woman he had ever truly loved. But sometimes, he found himself wondering if he was still truly in love with her. Was he staying because he was still in love with her, or was he staying because he knew she was still madly in love with him? Was the love she gave him just a comfort he was used to now? He didn't want it to be that way, but sometimes he found himself asking these questions over and over again. They were worse than the voices sometimes.
Then there was the question of Mickie herself. He knew he cared about her. The way he had attacked Cody for insulting her proved that. The fact that he was jeopardizing his marriage to continue being her proved that. But was it love? Had he fallen in love with Mickie? She understood him in ways that Sam couldn't. It wasn't Sam's fault, but Mickie had her own psychotic issues in the past. Mickie could relate more to Randy on some levels and he was drawn to that. Then there was the fact that she was compassionate, selfless and completely willing to take the brunt of the backlash she was going to receive now that some of the locker room was realizing the real nature of their relationship.
He sighed and closed his eyes. This was all very confusing for him. Loving Sam…maybe not loving her as much as she deserved to be…maybe loving Mickie…maybe just needing her to keep his sanity…it was all making his head spin. He wanted two things at once, and for the moment, he had them both. But eventually (and it was probably going to be sooner than he liked) he was going to have to make a choice: Sam or Mickie. And honestly, he had absolutely no idea who he would choose in the end.