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--- C h a p t e r -- F o u r ---
Nine and a half minutes earlier…
"DAMNIT, LEONARDO! So help me, if you've laid so much as ONE FINGER on my Bawls you owe me FORTY BUCKS!" Donatello could be heard thundering this protest throughout the lair. By the time he had reached the large painted screen, he saw that it was now ajar. Leonardo had taken up a casual lean against the delicate frame of the door, waiting.
"Come on in, Donnie," he offered with a friendly and infuriating show of calm. Then he turned and retreated back into his own room, leaving the screen open for his brother to follow.
Don slipped in after Leo, his temper still running hot and his body held taut with caution. His brow furrowed as he watched Leo glide off to the back of his room with all of his characteristic grace. "We need to talk, please," Donatello growled."What are you—?"
Kneeling now, Leonardo was ignoring him to rummage through a ratty knapsack. But at the snap in his brother's tone, he paused and looked back over one shoulder at Donatello with a flash of concern. Then he spoke in a tone that was still completely amicable, "Forty dollars, you said? I'll have it for you in just a moment." He smiled then, even taking a stab at disarming his brother with humor by quipping, "Though I've got to tell you, Donnie. They're a fine pair, and you just might be selling yourself short."
"Har-har," Don murmured, folding his arms and looking away. Apparently he was not amused.
It was Leo's turn to wrinkle his brow as he turned his attention back to the knapsack, counting out the rest of what he figured he owed Don. It bothered him, though, these little flare-ups of resentment he'd been sensing from his second-in-command. Always over the pettiest things, too… Don's soda was just the latest example. Leo stared at the small stack of colorful bills sadly. When are we going to talk about what's REALLY bothering you?
Rising back to his feet, Leonardo turned and caught Donatello staring across the room. He approached and had to clear his throat before Don seemed to startle awake and accept the money that was being offered him.
"These are pesos," Don realized with a frown, flipping through the bills.
"Yeah," Leo agreed. "Sorry about that. They're all I've got right now. I gave you a bit more than forty US dollars' worth, just for your hassle, but—" He trailed off with a helpless shrug. "If it's not good enough, you'll have to wait until I can get with April. She was going to help me exchange it, but I told her it wasn't pressing."
"Whatever, then. I guess it's fine," Don sighed. His gaze started to drift back towards the meditation mat, and then came back to Leo's face with a jolt.
Leonardo's smile faded. He didn't need to follow Don's gaze to guess that he'd been eyeing the pink plastic figure set in front of Leo's mediation mat. But now he did look, just to let Don know he'd noticed.
"Err. Souvenir from your trip…?"
This earned Don a look of scrutiny. "Of the four of us, you've always been the worst liar," the older brother reminded him with a note of disappointment in his voice. "You should keep that in mind if we're going to have this conversation."
"Right." Don scowled and turned as if to leave, "Then, let's not have it."
"You're the one who said we needed to talk," Leo reminded him, reaching out to take Donatello by the arm. "So, by all means, let's talk. I take it you knew about this…?" His voice went slightly incredulous.
"Leo…" The smaller turtle tried to pull away, but his brother's grip was commanding. "This isn't fair, putting me in this position!" he pleaded. "Things are already bad enough between us. Please don't make it worse!"
"Bad enough… between you and Mikey?"
"Between me and everybody," the distraught terrapin stressed the last word through bared teeth. "I couldn't control them! With Mikey, it feels like being in charge of him has made us grow so far apart. It just – kills me, Leo. And Raph… I swear to you, there've been times I really thought I hated him."
Leonardo's eyes widened. Raphael and Don had never clashed much before. "Sit," he commanded gently, indicating the practice mat with a glance. He moved to the door and closed the painted screen to give them more privacy while Don obeyed. After taking a seat he continued hesitantly.
"Everything I thought we should do, he wanted to do the opposite! Every order I gave, he would fight it. There was just no talking sense to him. He – he always had to make it physical! You have no idea, Leo. He would say the cruelest things to me, for no logical reason at all!"
The eldest's lips twisted with irony. "You're right, Don," he reminded his brother quietly. "I have no idea what that feels like."
The two fell into awkward silence.
Finally, "Do you hate me too, then?"
"Sometimes I thought I might… especially for not writing to us anymore. There were times I needed your guidance so badly. But… no." Don sat on his heels, hugging his arms close to his plastron and huddling in on himself. "No, of course not, Leo. I could never hate you. More than anything, I was just scared you might not come back." He shook his head and brought his hands up to his face, suddenly frustrated by his own show of emotion. "Rrrh..! I told myself I wouldn't even bring up any of this! None of it – none of it MATTERS, really. I just-" he turned and gave Leonardo a look that made him seem briefly younger as he pleaded softly, "I just need you to stay."
"I'm going to stay," Leonardo promised, but not without a sad pang gripping his heart. His glimpse of freedom had been sweet, after all.
"Never pick me again. Promise me, Leo. I can't do it again. Raphael would have done better. I swear to you, I've never felt so meddlesome, and ineffectual, and… and STUPID before."
"You're a genius, Donnie," Leonardo assured him with a sympathetic flinch. But he knew what he needed to say. Even though it killed him to say it, to trap himself in the dreaded role forever, he promised, "Never again, okay?"
Donatello let out a shuddering breath and nodded.
Leonardo took a chance, slipping in closer and putting his hands on his brother's shoulders. He gently touched his forehead to Don's, and said very quietly, "I'm sorry."
Don sniffed and nodded again, closing his eyes.
"Let me take this burden." Leonardo pulled away enough to look at Donatello earnestly, his hands still gripping his brother's shoulders. Don's eyes opened and met his. "I want to fix all of this, okay? But I need the relevant data first. How can I fix it when I don't even know all the variables…?" He was trying hard to speak Don's language, and he could see that it was working. "Please," the older terrapin continued, "just let me take everything you've been dealing with and I will make it mine. It should have been mine. Please, Donnie..."
"The thing, it… belongs to Mikey," Don whispered, after a long pause.
Leonardo felt a knot of tension in his shoulders start to unwind. Donatello was back in his confidence. It was an important step. Releasing his brother, he nodded encouragingly. "I figured as much. When did it start?"
"It's been going on for about," he paused, frowning at the ground as if thinking back, "Six – no, seven months now?"
"That long?"
Don shrugged weakly. "Yeah, at least." He chewed on his lower lip worriedly for a moment before confessing, "And it hasn't quite become daily, I don't think, but – you should know that recently it's been getting close to that. Even Raph is taking notice. Also? The stuff is expensive!"
"That's not my first concern."
"Well, as sole breadwinner it was certainly one of mine. It was part of the reason I helped him go out and get a job of his own, but ultimately – I think I just enabled him with a means to buy even more of the damned stuff."
"Don… there are bigger priorities than the cost, honestly."
"What are your priorities then?"
"Well, first off – what exactly does it DO?"
"What do you mean?" Don blinked.
"At the risk of sounding clueless when I just agreed to take the problem away from you, uh – yeah. There's just no way around it. I'm working blind here, Donnie. I probably have less knowledge than any of you about this kind of thing. I mean… I've never even considered it."
Donatello couldn't help smiling a little at that. Of course Leo never would have. "Well, to be honest? Mikey stoned is kind of like… Mikey times ten. MORE giggle-prone, LESS likely to keep up with whatever you're telling him, MORE likely to chase shiny objects out into the street. And let's just hope you don't have any junk food in the house that you actually wanted to keep for yourself. 'Cause yeah, it'll be gone before the night is through. "
"Oh, shell," Leonardo winced.
"Leo…" Donatello was smothering a grin. "When we turned eighteen, Splinter made this speech. We're still expected to mind his rules during training and lessons, but for the rest of the time he considers us old enough to choose our own words." He scratched the back of his neck, grinning. "We thought you'd just sort of catch on, but – heh, haven't you realized yet that you're the only one still making that stupid substitution? Everyone's been sort of laughing at you behind your back for still saying it. I mean,I'm not going to lie. I'm right there with them. We're coming up on nineteen soon. Don't you think maybe it's time to—?"
"I don't care what you guys think." Leo returned Don's grin, unruffled. "Go ahead, laugh it up. Splinter's disapproval of swearing didn't go away just because we got a year older. Personally, I think he just wanted one less reason to gripe at Raphael."
Donatello just shook his head slowly, marveling at this news. "I thought for sure you just didn't realize the ban had been lifted…"
"I know that none of you are likely to understand it, but – that's just who I am. I want to live up to Splinter's expectations. I want to do what feels right to me. And if I decided to change who I am and what I believe just because you guys might laugh… Don, how could you ever respect me for that?"
The purple-masked turtle was speechless for a moment. "You're right. Of course you're right." He finally lifted his gaze back to Leo's and quirked an amused look at him. "Not necessarily reverting back to it MYSELF mind you, but… you keep on saying "shell", Leo. And I'll just go ahead and love you for it."
"Thanks," Leo grinned. "Now can we get back on the topic of Mikey and his marijuana pipe here?"
"Bong, Leo. It's called a bong. If you call it a 'marijuana pipe' he's gonna laugh his head off."
"Okay, bong then. Good to know. See, I may be clueless, but at least I'm a fast learner."
Don had a chuckle at this, but sobered when he went on to confess, "Truth is, I started out pretty clueless myself, Leo. But you know me… When I found out he was messing around with this stuff, I dove right into researching it. Five months later I feel like I'm a veritable expert as far as textbook knowledge goes, and even ran one, uh – inconclusive field study." Leonardo canted his head wryly at this, and Donnie gave a sheepish shrug. "But after all that… I still had no idea what to actually SAY to him. I completely dropped the ball,Leo, and for that I'm truly sorry."
"It's all right, Don. I promise you, somehow I AM going to resolve this. Tell me where you think he gets—"
An irate voice shouted suddenly from the hall just outside. "THANKS A LOT, DONNIE! WAY TO THROW ME UNDER THE FUCKING BUS, MAN!"
"Ohmigod." Donnie's eyes widened, and he looked up at their fearless leader with sudden panic. Leonardo leapt swiftly to his feet and ran to the door, yanking it open and peering out after the bitter words.
But he only got a glimpse of Mikey snagging a duffle bag of street clothes from a hook on his way out the upper portal before he disappeared from sight. Then the sound of his footfalls could still be heard slapping the concrete noisily, taking off at full tilt down a tunnel that would lead him back up to the surface.
Both older brothers tore after Mike initially. Don seemed to realize it was a futile effort right away and stumbled to a halt in the middle of the lower common room.
Leonardo trailed him as far as the outer-ring of their security system before accepting that he was rapidly losing ground on Michelangelo. The sad truth was that, in spite of all his recent and vigorous conditioning in the jungle, he still had no hope of catching his out of shape, pot-smoking little brother running at full speed. The kid was just that fast.
When he slipped back into the lair from the upper portal, Leonardo made a beeline for Raphael's room. He pounded on the door. Raph's answer was less than cheery. "Whaddya want?" he barked.
Leonardo took this as permission to enter. Having expected to find his brother in bed at this civilized hour, he was taken aback at the sight of the hothead shrugging on the last of his Nightwatcher suit. "Wh— Raph!" he piped, caught off-guard by this sight. "What are you doing?"
"Well, gee! I dunno!" Raphael stalked up to Leo and brought his face aggressively close. Looking him dead in the eye, dripping sarcasm, "What would YOU rather have me doin' right now, Fearless?"
Leonardo didn't flinch. But he did freeze, looking Raphael in the eye long and hard as understanding dawned. In a lower, humbler, but entirely calm voice he said, "Find him, Raph. Bring him back to us. Please."
"WHAT A GREAT IDEA!" Raphael boomed, shoving past Leonardo roughly – but with the ghost of a grin lurking about the corners of his lips. "Why the FUCK didn't I think of that?"
"But, why do you need the suit?" Leonardo couldn't help asking. He hated the sight of the damn thing.
"Intimidation factor," Raphael explained shortly, without glancing back. He was barreling towards the ladder leading to the upper portal landing, but a wet, strangled sound drew his gaze down to the common area. He stopped dead in his tracks. "Donnie…?"
Donatello was on the floor with his knees tucked under him, head bowed and trying to muffle his tears with the palm of his hand.
"I'll deal with Donnie," Leonardo asserted, coming up behind Raphael and looking over the banister. Privately, though, he was grateful not to be alone in this task. Even as he spoke, Splinter darted across the room and was quickest to reach the huddled turtle's side. "You go find Mikey." Raphael tore his gaze away from the sight of his distraught brother, looking back to Leonardo with a start. "When I decided to turn back, he was still gunning down the main canal that runs under 9th Avenue. He's moving fast and may have hit the surface by now, but on your bike you should be able to catch him. Go!"
Ticking off a mock-salute from the corner of his brow, Raphael rumbled, "Roger that," and took off to hunt down Michelangelo.
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