Emptiness.

Darkness.

Weakness.

I am alone, and I am helpless.

I am Bastila, great and powerful Jedi Knight, and yet…

I am…

nothing.

There is no emotion, so why am I not at peace?

We slept late into the morning. Despite my uneasy dreams, I felt much stronger and actually capable for the first time since the Endar Spire was attacked.

Carth and I headed to the cantina for a late breakfast before our assassination mission. While there, I overheard a pair of mercs heading into a dimly lit back room, and trailed after them curiously. Turns out, the backroom of Javyar's Cantina housed more than just a bar and gambling tables.

And that's when I met Zax.

The hutt was small by their standards, but obviously used to the power and authority of his position. He offered me a whole list of bounties, and I didn't think twice before taking the whole lot.

We needed the credits, and what better cover for an investigation than bounty hunting? We would need to go places, snoop around, ask questions, and behave violently. Literally perfect cover.

"This really seems questionable," Onasi said when I showed him the list. "Those government bounties, they're not so bad, but most of this just sounds like contract killing. Would we really kill someone for as little reason as this?"

"We could use the cover. We've been all over, asking questions; better to be seen as contract killers than caught as republic soldiers."

Onasi frowned. "I… guess I can't argue with that logic, but it still feels wrong."

I waved away the concern. "There's nothing we could do to change their fate, once they're on the list, someone would kill them if we didn't. At least this way, the credits will go to a good cause. And we'll need something to occupy our time waiting for the race."

The race wasn't for another five days. I'd argued, persuaded, and threatened, but the Vulkars absolutely would not give up Bastila now that she'd been offered as the prize. They would help me win her back, so long as the 'glory' was attributed to their worthless gang, but I'd have to play it their way. Which meant waiting until the Taris season opener, in five days.

It made me feel ill. Being so close to finally understanding what was wrong, what Bastila meant, and getting off this worthless planet - and having to just sit by and wait.

So, if I chose to fill my days with contract kills to temper my fury, Onasi would have to live with it.

I invited the wookiee along to the Bek base invasion, which of course brought the topic up with the hacker. She did not like the idea that we were 'betraying' her friend Gadon, but I convinced her that they didn't care about her as much as they claimed to and asked her to quietly find out as much information as she could about our list of targets for when we returned.

She only agreed reluctantly, but without further argument.

The Beks let us in without question, but once we started breaking into their security doors they quickly realized we were no longer acting as their brainless lackeys. They attacked, and we attacked back, and they died.

I know I may seem to have written off wookiees, and for the most part they are useless. But they are strong. Watching him tear through the crowd of gangsters was a thing of beauty. I would not want to get on his bad side, at least not without better defences than a single vibroblade.

Still, wookiees are nearly useless. I have always believed in the power of persuasion and thought, that strategy can accomplish what brute force cannot, and wookiees are the folly of blunt strength personified.

We tore through the base, tore through Gadon (he had some very nice equipment, which I appropriated for our own future use) and returned to the Vulkars with news of our victory before noon.

They offered to let us stay at their base, which I politely declined. We'd come back the night before the race, so they could show me the swoop, but until then we had our own affairs to attend to.

And their base, like everyone in it, smelled. I wanted to spend as little time in their presence as possible.

The hacker had found a good amount of information about our targets while we were off taking care of gangsters. We'd dealt with Selven before being asked, as it turned out. She'd been one of those who'd attacked us on sight back when we were ransacking apartments, so that was one down without even trying. Dia happened to have the room just down the hall from ours, so that bounty was a cinch.

The twi'lek Matrik was harder. I thought he might be the guy down the hall, trying to sell worthless energy shields, but the description didn't quite match. There were quite a lot of twi'leks on Taris, apparently they were the only non-human species with near-human rights.

I'm not going to get into their silly ideas of equality and subjugation, suffice it to say they make even less sense than most planetary prejudices.

Anyway, Matrik was much better at hiding than Largo - that fellow had merely registered his room under a false name, which barely slowed our hacker down when he'd left the rest of his personal information intact. Matrik was harder to ferret out, though he didn't put up much of a fight when we finally found him.

While a good way of taking out aggression and frustration over the constant delays, the bounty hunting work was not enough to actually occupy my attention much of the time. A few minutes of actual fighting, with the rest being waiting or traveling, I found myself getting bored and restless. I wandered the streets, picking fights with drunks, threatening those who annoyed me, and generally gaining a reputation as someone not to be messed with.

I spent a good amount of time over those endless three days, whenever not bothering Onasi with questions about his past, fighting in the Duel Arena. It was a good, safe, high-paying way to work my strength back up, combat practice with a purpose. Also, our final bounty target frequented the place and I was hoping to catch sight of him.

Onasi was less useful, but more entertaining. I could almost guarantee a good shouting match any time I decided to press him, another good release for my pent up frustration about my failure to reach Bastila, and he did share a surprising amount about himself once we got past his insistence that no one could be trusted.

"When I think of all those who betrayed me, the one who stands above the rest is the one I respected the most. Admiral Saul Kareth, who left us for the Sith, betrayed every secret we'd entrusted to him, and personally led the attack on my homeworld. He's half the reason Malak has done so well in this war. And I could have stopped him."

"That's way too much responsibility to take on yourself, Onasi."

"That's just it," Onasi replied, shaking his head. "He came to me, talked about how the Republic was going to lose and I should think about myself, my survival. He was trying to recruit me to the Sith, but I… I thought it was just idle talk. He was my mentor, taught me everything about being a soldier. He couldn't be serious. If I hadn't been so naive, I could have put a stop to it all right then."

I scoffed. "Do you really believe that?"

"I don't know. Maybe. We argued, before he left, and I just let him walk away. He might have killed me if I'd tried to stop him, or I may have killed him, but either way it was stupid to let him go."

"So that's why you're so obsessed with betrayal," I mused. "I guess having your mentor turn on your cause like that would be scarring."

"I've fought him for years now, and if I ever catch up to him, he will regret what he's done." He gripped his blaster tightly. "He will regret it," he repeated firmly.

"I don't doubt it," I said. "Don't worry, if we ever get the chance, I'll support your vengeance completely."

Onasi relaxed his hand, furrowed his brow at me. "You know, you can be really dark at times," he said with an odd inflection. "Some of the things you've done - we've done, I don't know what to think."

"Then don't think about it," I told him blithely. "That's what I'm for."

"Was that supposed to be an insult?"

I grinned at him mischievously. "I could compare your intellect to that of a gamorrean, but lucky for you I'm feeling generous, and will merely say that you smell like a damp wookiee."

"Now you're just trying to be infuriating," he grumbled.

"See? You are smarter than a gamorrean!" I said, but barely suppressed a giggle. His grouchy expression was adorable.

He didn't laugh. His eyes were still grim, and I felt my smile fade as my own mirth evaporated, to be replaced with genuine concern.

"It's okay, Carth," I said. "You can talk to me."

"There is more to the story, but I don't want to think about it right now," he said, then managed a flicker of a smile. "You used my name, that's got to be a good sign."

"Don't read too much into it, Onasi." My answering smile was only a little forced.

And tucked away carefully in the back of my mind was a new objective for when I had the time and freedom. Hunt down and destroy Saul Kareth.

It was the second day of my forays into the duel arena that I finally caught sight of the former champion, Bendak Starkiller, my final quarry if I wanted a 5/5 for bounties turned in. He sat casually in the corner of the Pazaak lounge, watching the room from behind his helmet. He wore golden mandalorian body armor, which said something for both his abilities and his taste in protective gear.

"Go away," he ordered, waving a hand in a shooing gesture. "I'm not giving out autoprints to fans today."

"I'm not a fan, I'm here to collect the bounty on your head."

He laughed. "This cantina's security systems are unparalelled. You'd be surprised the kinds of things this sort tend to try if not under surveillance once they've had a few drinks. And you won't catch me anywhere less secure, no matter how you watch me. Trust me, kid, you're way too new to this. I've been on that bounty list for years."

"You're a duelist, right? Fight me."

"Eh, you haven't impressed me. I did watch a few of your fights with Ice. Nothing like a pair of ladies trying to smash each other's skulls in, but your techniques are clumsy. You're the sort of fighter who can only be something with expensive gear, no actual talent."

"I may not have talent, but at least I'm not a coward hiding behind cantina security cams!" I snapped.

He laughed. "Alright, you have spirit at least. Tell you what, if you beat all those other pretenders I'll consider facing you in a duel. Not one of those suppression-field sissy matches, mind. A real, proper duel. A death match."

"You're on. I'll be back."

He chuckled and waved me away, but I had more than enough pent emotion even without his insults.

I took Ice down in the first match of the night, then faced against Marl twice. He won both times, his superior experience and techniques leaving me hard-pressed to keep up.

But Bendak's taunts about gear made me think about it, and Onasi and I spent the evening going through all the various armors I'd looted from various apartments and opponents until we found the highest quality one, upgraded it as best we could, and refined the edge on my blade.

Onasi shook his head at the overflowing footlocker. "We really should sell some of this at some point, isn't that the whole reason you have it here?"

"I have it in case we need to sell it," I told him, then tossed him a scope. "Here, upgrade your blaster with this."

"Why would a blaster need an upgraded scope?" he asked, frowning. "I'm not a sniper, and I'm experienced enough to know where I'm aiming."

"It'll increase accuracy? I guess." I shrugged. "I don't really know much about guns."

Onasi laughed. "That is obvious."

The following day was spent in frustrating duel after frustrating duel. Marl was far too skilled an opponent to treat as practice, and I ended up unconscious on the floor a half dozen times that day.

"Well, think of it this way," Onasi said as we visited the medical offices the fifth time. "At least now the odds will be really highly against you, so when you do win we'll make a fortune."

I smiled at that. He may have trust issues and be generally opposed to everything I do, but he's a pretty good fellow to have around.

"Thanks, Onasi. That does make me feel better about the fact that I'm about to be beaten into unconsciousness with a vibroblade yet again."

"You don't have to do this," he pointed out. "It's not like we're broke anymore."

"You clearly have no concept of how much ships cost, even junky ones. If we want to get out of here on our terms and not on a Sith prison transport, we'll need a large fortune." I groaned, rolled my shoulders, and stood. "Well, here goes again."

Onasi shook his head, but accompanied me to the arena. I'd set the hacker and her wookiee - my wookiee now, I supposed - to asking quietly around about any ships available and what exactly the Sith defences were, so when we did finally get Bastila we'd be in as good a position to get her safely away from Taris as possible.

Once I finally beat Marl, Twitch was almost simple to take down. He was wild, unpredictable, and not nearly as clever or strategic as the older man. He'd likely beaten Marl the same I had - luck, and being younger.

Which only left Bendak. He was surprised to see me back, but I showed him the replay of my fight with Twitch and he nodded.

"I underestimated you, kid. Alright, I'll agree to face you in a death match. It'll take some time for the hutt to set it up, there's a very specific audience that needs to be contacted, bribes to officials, paperwork. See you in three days, for the last time."

"Your last time," I told him firmly, but if it was going to be three days I realized I might not be there.

And I realized I might not want to be there. I'd barely beaten Marl, and if Bendak were significantly better than him, I was in no condition to be fighting alone to the death.

Onasi must have seen my expression, but he didn't comment.

"Come on, let's get home," I growled.

"No pazaak tonight?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Most evenings, after fighting or bounty hunting, I'd make a tidy little profit at the gambling tables.

"Tomorrow," I said. Skilled medical team or no, I'd been smacked around too much of the day to have energy remaining for anything but sleep.