It's been a while since I updated this fanfic! I've been busy with some of my other fics. My schoolwork and my pixelling and my laziness have also been a part of not updating. Anyhow, here's the new chapter! Akira's POV.~

My friendship with Mikoto may very well be on the line. It only took a few short questions for me to get completely scared out of my wits (if ever I could claim to have any to begin with) and I had to flee before I said any more stupid (truthful) things.

During lunch, instead of eating at our usual spot in the cafeteria, we took our food to one of the many fountains on campus. Mikoto told me he wanted to eat here instead because he had a headache and didn't feel like listening to the loudness of where we usually sat, and of course I wasn't going to say no to him, whether what he said about the headache was true or not. It certainly didn't look true.

Anyway, we sat on one of the benches next the fountain. The wind had been blowing earlier so the cement seat of the bench was cold and a little damp from the vapor of the fountain. One end of the bench was soaked completely—almost half of it—so I had to sit a little closer to Mikoto than I thought might be safe. Of course, I tried my best to act natural, but maybe my attempts weren't enough. My whole left side was pressed against his right, and I'm sure I must've been a little twitchy at the contact…

"Hey, Sakamoto-san," Mikoto said, staring down at the sandwich he'd brought like it was an interesting point of focus. The way he spoke, sounding curious and maybe a little nervous, made my heart jump and I felt myself nearly choke silently on the rice in my mouth. Thankfully, the small grains were able to slide down my throat inconspicuously, and that wasn't how I made a scene.

I cleared my throat a little to be safe and replied, "Yes?"

"How do you deal with never seeing any girls? Don't you ever get lonely? Or wish that you had a girlfriend to talk to instead of guys all the time?"

My chopsticks loosened from my grip but didn't fall. I could tell from Mikoto's tone of voice that he was very serious, and I got nervous quickly. I wasn't sure how to respond to him.

"Wh…what do you mean…?" I asked him lamely. His questions were perfectly clear, but I needed to buy some time for me to think. I wouldn't—couldn't —let him find out about the reason I didn't desire the company of girls. I'd lose my best friend.

"Well, I mean, everybody seems to have a way of dealing with only being around men all the time," he began, and I listened to him carefully, trying to think of something I could say to change the subject. "A lot of guys love the princesses, however fucking messed up it is. Some are just plain gay, like Tooru and Yuujirou. I guess some probably have long-distance girlfriends, like I did…" He paused and took a breath. "But I don't have anyone anymore, and I don't know how to deal without some kind of contact with girls. You always keep your cool, Sakamoto-san. How do you do it?"

I hadn't expected such a long, heartfelt answer, and I felt myself flush a little. I don't think I keep my cool that well… On the inside, at least, I'm freaking out.

At that point, I'd thought of something that wouldn't exactly be a lie, but isn't the whole truth either.

"I-I've never had a girlfriend…" I told him quietly, using my chopsticks to poke around at my bento, which I was no longer hungry for; my stomach had fallen with anxiety. "I don't really know what it's like to go out with somebody, so I don't r-really get lonely like that very much…" The part about not getting lonely? Clearly a lie—but a little white one.

"Is that all there is to it?" he asked me, and as I felt his eyes fall on me I turned my head a little to look at him. So much for keeping my cool: my heart began to pound like crazy. "Aren't you interested in girls at all, though?" I could tell by the desperate tone of his voice what he was asking and it made me shake.

"No," I said finally, after what felt like an hour of silence. "Mikoto, I'm gay. I'm sorry." My voice shook as I told him the truth, and I stood up abruptly, abandoning my barely-eaten lunch at the bench next to my friend. I felt like I was going to vomit, so I ran off, leaving Mikoto silent behind me. He didn't call after me like they always do in anime, and I didn't look back.

I ended up escaping back to the school building. I was feeling far less nauseous by the time I entered my next class, but I was a good twenty minutes early for the start of it. Only then did I realize that I had none of my school supplies with me still, and I exited the classroom awkwardly and wandered outside the building again, wondering if I should go back to the fountain and grab my bag. I had a lecture in one of my classes that I had to attend and take notes on, so skipping the rest of the day just wouldn't work.

To my relief/delight, when I found myself within eyeshot of the fountain, it was abandoned. I felt a sick feeling in my stomach again just thinking about how stupid I'd been not to lie, but I grabbed my bag from off the ground next to the bench and threw it over my shoulder. My lunch was nowhere to be found; perhaps Mikoto had taken it, thinking I wouldn't come back. I didn't feel too worried about such a trivial matter, though.

When I found myself at my desk in the classroom once again, I pulled out my books and pencils and tried to drown myself in my studies. I didn't see Mikoto for the rest of the day, for which I was extremely glad.

I have no idea what's going to happen when I see him next. Or… what if I never see him again? Will he just avoid me? Somewhere in the back of my naïve heart, I can feel myself wishing he'd come to me and tell me he forgives me, or loves me, or something borderline-amazing line that. I'm smarter than that, though; I know it won't happen. But it still makes my heart flutter a little bit.

I know Mikoto isn't gay. He could never be gay. Only a person who was completely secure about their sexuality could wear a dress so much and not be thrown off at every possible angle…

And now I'm rambling…

I'll never be able to forgive myself if what I said makes Mikoto never talk to me again. Or worse… what if he says he hates me?

I can't approach him first. I want to apologize… but how can I apologize to him for something I can't control? I'm not sorry for being gay… but I will be sorry if it makes my best friend hate me. I don't know if I can ever change it, but if it's to get Mikoto to stay with me, maybe I could just… ignore it.

Maybe that's crazy…

Or maybe I'm just out of my mind…

Or the third option, which is at the same time the most and least appealing of all: I love him. I'm in love with him. In theory, anyway…

I feel like I need to talk to somebody about this… I never see Tooru, but I could talk to Yuujirou in gym class. Maybe I'll give it a try… He might be able to help me. He… he knows how to be gay.

Err… well… He knows what it's like to be in love with another guy, I guess.

I'll talk to Yuujirou about my problem, then… and in the meantime try not to cry when I think about how dumb I was to say anything.

The end of the chapter was a tad emo on Akira's part, which was a little sad to write. I just have to get back into the groove of this fic. Make sure you go check out AppleLove.~ She's the one who's been bugging me to write more for this, so thank her for the chapter, lmao. Anyway, don't forget to review! Let me know how you like where it's going so far. I know exactly where everything is going to go from here, I think.